- 09/06/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00You can do what you want to do, in living color, in living sand.
00:11You can do what you want to do, in living color, in living color.
00:20You, you walk all the moon, float like a balloon.
00:23You see, it's never too late, and it's never too soon.
00:25Take it from me, it's all right to be in living color.
00:29And I wish you'd feel no imprejudice was obsolete, and all mankind danced to the exact beat.
00:34And at night it was safe to walk down the street, in living color.
00:37You can do what you want to do, in living color.
00:43In living color.
00:45You can do what you want to do, in living color.
00:52In living color.
00:54Everybody here is equally kind, in living color.
00:57What's mine is yours, and what's yours is mine, in living color.
01:02And how would you feel knowing everybody was different?
01:04From thin to thicker, through thicker, thin.
01:06And egotypical chips was put to an end, in living color.
01:10You can do what you want to do, in living color.
01:16In living color.
01:18You, you walk all the moon, float like a balloon.
01:20You see, it's never too late, and it's never too soon.
01:22Take it from me, it's all right to be, in living color.
01:26And how would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete, and all mankind danced to the exact beat.
01:31And at night it was safe to walk down the street, in living color.
01:34You can do what you want to do, in living color.
01:39Ladies and gentlemen, Queenie and Ivory Wayans.
01:58I'm Queenie and Ivory Wayans.
02:00Welcome to the living color.
02:01I want to thank all the people out there, who sent all those wonderful letters.
02:05After seeing last week's show, we really appreciate it.
02:07Before we get the party started, I always got to say hello to the man who makes the butts bounce,
02:11the king of beats, DJ SW1.
02:19And of course, we can't forget the lovely ladies of a living color, my fly girls.
02:23Carrie Ann, Deva, Lisa, Terry, and Michelle.
02:28We got a great show for you tonight.
02:32I want you to chill with us for about a half.
02:35Let's get this party started right.
02:49I want to be Vanilly.
02:53No, you can't be Vanilly.
02:56I am always Vanilly.
02:58No, but you can't be Vanilly two days straight.
03:02Why not?
03:03Because you are Germany and I'm from French.
03:09Oh, now I get it.
03:13Makes sense to me.
03:15Milly Vanilly commercial, take one.
03:18Hello, we are Milly Vanilly.
03:20You know, a lot of people don't understand the enormous success of Milly Vanilly.
03:25And neither do we.
03:27But we are here today to tell you that you too can be Milly Vanilly with lots of positive energy
03:36And our new do it yourself at home, Milly Vanilly kids.
03:41That is right.
03:42That is right.
03:43In just ten minutes.
03:45Count them five, ten.
03:47You didn't think I could do that, huh?
03:50Ten minutes.
03:51You too can look and sound just like Milly Vanilly.
03:55Tell them what they get, Vanilly.
03:57Well, for only $39.95, you get this.
04:04Milly Vanilly hair.
04:07Very easy to apply.
04:09And dye it whatever color you'd like.
04:14Plus, you'll get this.
04:16Milly Vanilly eyes.
04:18That will give you positive energy.
04:23What else?
04:24Let's not forget our terrible accents.
04:28You'll also get this.
04:30That's right.
04:31You listen to these cartoon characters.
04:33Pepe Le Pew, Boris and Natasha, Elma Fad.
04:41And you are almost ready to be Milly Vanilly.
04:44No, but not yet.
04:45No, no.
04:48First, you go out and see the latest, hottest, freshest, exciting dances.
04:52But don't do them.
04:54No, no, no.
04:55Do this instead.
04:58Now you are doing Milly Vanilly.
05:01So get a friend.
05:02Because it takes two jerks to be Milly Vanilly.
05:06And remember, don't forget our number.
05:10So act now, because we are almost out of style.
05:14Send $39.95 to Milly Vanilly, P.O. Box 227, Paris, California.
05:2590029.
05:26It's the Arsenio Hall Show.
05:35Starring Arsenio Hall.
05:37And here's Eddie Murphy's best friend.
05:40And don't you forget it.
05:42Arsenio!
05:43huff jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams in jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams jams
06:13Oh, that's my dog pound right there.
06:20And this is my posse.
06:31Yes.
06:33Oh, boy.
06:35Good evening.
06:43Now, I couldn't begin the show
06:52without introducing a very good friend of mine.
06:54Stopped in tonight.
06:55We were hanging out at the China Club last night,
06:57a real party animal.
06:59Won't you please give it up for my main man, Pope John Paul.
07:13Oh, we got a great show.
07:23So, with no more delay, let's get busy.
07:38Now, I'd like to introduce my first guest,
07:41a very, very special man, very talented.
07:45He's just written a book.
07:46He's in a new film.
07:48And running for his fourth term as mayor of Washington, D.C.,
07:52would you please give it up for a very good friend of mine,
07:55Marion Barry.
08:11Let's just get right into it.
08:20Now, you're in the press a lot lately.
08:23You've had beautiful women inviting you to hotels,
08:26people following you everywhere you go.
08:29What's it like to be a sex symbol?
08:31Uh, I don't think you understand, Don Senio.
08:36I don't consider myself a sex symbol.
08:38I do consider myself a man who's been wrongly accused
08:41of a crime, and I'm here tonight to clear my name.
08:44All charges against me are false.
08:47There's been no proof of any wrongdoing on my pie.
08:51Hey, you, wake up!
08:53There you go!
08:54Oh!
08:55You, you, yes.
08:58So, I haven't read it, but my people tell me
09:01you've written a book.
09:03Uh, well, I didn't write a book.
09:06I was booked.
09:07On possession of an illegal substance.
09:21But that's not the image I'd like to portray here tonight.
09:26I'm about the business of government.
09:27Yes.
09:28Uh, can we talk about my re-election campaign already?
09:30Oh, Eddie's here?
09:32I said already!
09:37Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
09:41I'm sorry.
09:42I get a little confused, because, you know,
09:44Eddie is my best friend.
09:46And to all the white people out there who don't know it,
09:48Eddie Murphy is only the biggest movie star in the world.
09:52And I know all the black people sitting out there going,
09:53I know who Eddie Murphy is.
09:55I see Eddie Murphy on TV.
09:56Oh, man.
09:56Black, black, black.
09:57Hey, come here out here.
10:04Oh, boy.
10:05So, where will you be appearing next?
10:08Uh, well, this Friday, I'll be appearing in front of the grand jury.
10:12Woo!
10:13Woo!
10:14Woo!
10:15Woo!
10:16Woo!
10:17Woo!
10:18Woo!
10:19Woo!
10:20Woo!
10:21Woo!
10:22Woo!
10:23Woo!
10:24Woo!
10:25Absolutely nothing.
10:26I just like to do that after every third question.
10:29So, I understand you're in a new film.
10:34Uh, now, wait, no.
10:35See, they told me you wasn't supposed to ask me about that.
10:37Oh, brother.
10:39No disrespect to Morgan Freeman or Denzel Washington,
10:42but, brother, I hear you are smokin'.
10:43Wait, no.
10:44I'd rather not talk about that, right?
10:46Sandy, do we have a clip?
10:47I've got it right here, Sam.
10:49Kick it.
10:49Kick it.
10:53Man, I'm the man.
10:54I'm the man walking in D.C.
10:56This is a set-out.
10:57This is a set-out.
10:58Get that camera on me.
10:59They were supposed to tell me that y'all was coming.
11:01Hey, Leroy.
11:02Leroy, man.
11:03Call Whitney.
11:04Call.
11:05It's just me until the Carlisle shopper, baby.
11:08I gotcha, man.
11:10I gotcha, man.
11:11I gotcha.
11:12I think I'm gonna kill my man.
11:14I gotcha, man.
11:15I'm ruined.
11:16Oh.
11:17Yes.
11:18That was so real.
11:19I'm nobody.
11:20I'm nothin'.
11:21You ruined my career.
11:22Strive to be the best you can be.
11:24Michael Wolfe, take us home with some of that nasty,
11:28booger-nosed funk.
11:44Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, all the way from
11:49Detroit, the Motor City Homeboy Choir.
11:54One, two, three.
11:55One!
11:56Ah!
11:57Ah!
11:58Ah!
11:59Ah!
12:00Ah!
12:01Ah!
12:02Ah!
12:03Ah!
12:04Ah!
12:05Ah!
12:06Ah!
12:07Ah!
12:08Ah!
12:09Ah!
12:10Ah!
12:11Ah!
12:12Ah!
12:13Ah!
12:16Ah!
12:18Mm.
12:23Ah!
12:24Yeah!
12:25Ah!
12:26Yeah!
12:27Ah!
12:30Ah!
12:31Ah!
12:32Ah!
12:33Ah!
12:34Cash, coal, that's what I need
12:44I want to be rich
12:53Cause I'm rich nice
12:55I see the pie and I want to slice
12:57So one side, make way, I'm coming
12:59The race ain't over cause I'm still running
13:01So let's get close and call me Snuggles
13:03I'll squeeze you tight and call your cuddles
13:05Things will be different, my life will switch
13:07And that's why I want to be rich
13:09These bill collectors, they ring my phone
13:12Bing-a-ling-a-ling
13:13They bother me when I'm not at home
13:16I'm standing here with the legendary
13:26Chivalry Lily. Ray, how does the show look to you so far?
13:30Well, Larry.
13:30I'd score the show pretty
13:33So far, the audience has been able to take
13:35Everything that the cast has dished out
13:38If we look at the tail of the videotape
13:41We'll see that the audience
13:44Outnumbers the cast 30 to 1
13:46Let me ask you something
13:48If you were in this cast's shoes right now
13:50What would Sugar be doing?
13:54Well, Larry, like I said
13:55This is a very, very, very, very, very, very tough audience
14:00And remember what they did to Frank's place
14:03If I were the cast right now, I'd be going for the knockout
14:08Like I did against Marvin Hagelin
14:09He scared me
14:11Looked like a giant milk dud
14:12This milk dud had arms and was jabbing
14:17Uh, Ray
14:18I was jabbing back
14:20Uh, Ray
14:20Only thing I could do
14:21Well, looks like we're about ready to start that fifth round
14:24That's why I love to use as a sword
14:24Ladies and gentlemen, the great Sugar Ray Leonard
14:26Thank you
14:27That way I can use bigger words than I usually use
14:28Captain's log, stardate 14
14:48We are being pulled towards a hostile planet
14:51I'm hoping that Scotty will be able to activate the backup control systems
14:54God, I feel so vulnerable
14:58Captain, I'm picking up some strange signals
15:01Something about intergalactic oppressors, sir
15:03Captain, intruders are approaching the bridge, sir
15:06Who are you?
15:12I am the minister, Louis Farrakhan
15:15Spock?
15:20Spock, who is he?
15:22A former Calypso singer, Captain
15:23Who later became leader of a 20th century African American religious sect
15:29Known as the Nation of Islam
15:31You'd like to buy some incense?
15:34Be in power, my brother?
15:36No, thank you
15:37What do you want?
15:41I've come to warn your crew
15:43Warn your crew?
15:44Of their enslavement
15:46Enslavement?
15:47Aboard this vessel
15:48That's poppycock
15:50These people are perfectly free to do anything they'd like
15:54It is that same lie that kept Elvis the king
15:59That made that poor child Latoya Jackson think she could sing
16:04It is that same lie that's got white boys rapping
16:09And the fat boys acting
16:11Hey, mister
16:12You can't come in here and talk to me right there
16:16Uhura, get me Starfleet Command
16:19Yes, Captain
16:19Oh, my Nubian princess
16:24How long have you placed his cause?
16:28I watch the show every week
16:31And all I see is the back of your nappy wig
16:34Uhura, Starfleet, now
16:39Well, wait a second
16:40He's right
16:42I've been sitting here for 15 years
16:44With this damn thing in my ear
16:46And ain't got one ring yet
16:47Is that all I'm good for?
16:50To be your little secretary?
16:51Or your occasional chocolate fantasy?
16:54You get up off your flat butt
16:56And get Starfleet your damn self
16:58Cause I ain't bunch
16:59Great job, brother
17:01Yes, sister
17:02Mr. Zulu
17:03Who calls Scotty?
17:05Tell him to get this man out of here
17:06Wait a minute, Mr. Zulu
17:09Before you touch that dial
17:12Answer me this question
17:14Who does the laundry around here?
17:19I do
17:20Mr. Zulu
17:21Well, you call me Buddha Head
17:24And Pie Face
17:25In front of everybody
17:26Well
17:27I've been in space all this time
17:29And I haven't had one woman yet
17:31You even take the ugly ones, Captain
17:33My loins are about to explode
17:37I want to do the nasty
17:39That's right
17:43Rise up
17:44Mr. Spock, my friend
17:47We've got to do something
17:49Why do you say we, Caucasoid?
17:52It's obvious, Captain
17:55That Minister Farrakhan is right
17:57Spock
17:59Are you out of your falcon mind?
18:02Well
18:03Logically speaking, Captain
18:06I am the strongest and most intelligent person aboard this vessel
18:09Yet I'm only second in command
18:11Mm-hmm
18:11I should be Captain
18:13And I'm also a better director than you
18:15Can't you see it's discrimination?
18:21You get off my ship, buddy
18:23Put your puny weapon down, Captain
18:27You cannot harm me
18:29My people have survived 400 years of slavery
18:34Slavery!
18:35300 years of apartheid
18:37Apartheid!
18:38And 25 years of the Jeffersons in syndication
18:41Very good!
18:44Very good!
18:47Go to your room
18:49Oh, I love it when I do that to them
18:56Nubia princess
18:59Call Sylvia's soul food shack
19:02Make reservations
19:03I got a taste for some blackened white fish
19:07Mr. Sulu, what are you gonna have?
19:11Sylvia
19:12Well, all right then
19:14My horny Asian brother
19:16Warp factor five
19:17We're goin' home
19:18Destination 125th Street
19:21nostra
20:17Hi, I'm Hope Corborn.
20:38Every morning around 7.30, I picks up Miss Daisy and I takes her to her favorite place.
20:44Oh, slow down now.
20:45Yes, Miss Daisy.
20:46Drive it like a madman.
20:48See, we didn't always get along so good.
20:51Miss Daisy don't like nobody doing nothing for her, especially no color.
20:55She what they call independent.
20:59The real truth is, Miss Daisy don't drive so good.
21:02She crash up her car, whoo, something bad.
21:05So bad that master, uh, what's her name, uh, you know, Dan Aykroyd.
21:10He'll hire me to take care of her and give her some companionship.
21:13Now, what's where y'all going?
21:15Yes, Miss Daisy.
21:18Drive me better than I do.
21:19Yes, Miss Daisy.
21:20She's not that all that bad.
21:23Just a little lonely and wrinkled up.
21:25But I understands her, and I knows how to make her happy.
21:32Because I gives her just what she needs.
21:34Oh, no, no, no, don't put much of her breast on.
21:37Yes, Miss Daisy.
21:38Wieden, Miss Daisy.
21:41Coming to a theater near you.
21:45Oh, ho, ho.
21:47Y'all my best friend.
21:49I hope you enjoyed the show tonight.
22:01Good night.
22:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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