- 1 year ago
Frank The Tank
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🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00You know, right now, a lot of the other brands, they're sweating.
00:06Artificial dyes, they're being banned.
00:09Artificiality is being banned.
00:10But you know who's not sweating?
00:12Body Armor.
00:13Body Armor's never had any of that in their drinks.
00:17It's all natural.
00:19It's tasty.
00:21It's better.
00:22So choose better.
00:23Choose Body Armor.
00:24Frank Walks, Frank Walks, it's time to Frank Walks.
00:34All right, well, we got kind of a Frankette walk today.
00:37I got Nicky Clicky.
00:40And, well, time for a little walk and find out a little bit more about this guy.
00:44I'm very excited, Frank.
00:48So we just start with what?
00:49One step?
00:49Yep.
00:50Beautiful.
00:50I mean, that's how you usually walk, is one step after another.
00:53That's right.
00:54I didn't stretch.
00:56No, you didn't.
00:58That's the good thing about walking.
00:59You don't need to stretch.
01:00I know, I know.
01:01You just need to get your ass moving.
01:03So all these are outside.
01:06What are your thoughts on the treadmill, Fleming?
01:08The treadmill, I feel like I'm stuck in a prison.
01:10I need to see you on an elliptical.
01:15But you don't get the step counter.
01:17You're right.
01:17It's like you're just, like, walking and not getting any awards.
01:25In fact, my step counter doesn't even, like, it's like you're sitting.
01:31Yeah.
01:32I'm glad you called it a step counter, not a pedometer.
01:35Pedometer sounds like them taking attendance at Little St. James.
01:39The little clicker as you go through the door.
01:41Well, I know another thing.
01:45Yeah.
01:46Oh, man.
01:49I remember the, I guess I don't want to call it a pedometer because I remember the Peter meter.
01:54The Peter meter?
01:55Yes.
01:55What's the Peter meter?
01:56I don't know if you're going to put this in the episode.
02:00The Peter meter has got to make the episode.
02:02All right.
02:03When I worked at the courthouse.
02:04Okay.
02:06There were people who were on the Megan's Law list.
02:09Okay.
02:10And they would sometimes go up for parole.
02:13So the Megan's Law list would be, is that people that?
02:18Sex offenders.
02:19Yeah.
02:19Yeah.
02:20Okay.
02:20For those that don't know.
02:22Well, these are the ones who, so trying to get out of prison and put into a less restrictive
02:28environment, they would actually show them like pictures and see how they responded to
02:34the pictures.
02:35And if they didn't, and once they're in jail, and let's just say if there's a certain stimuli,
02:41they're considered highly dangerous.
02:43Wait, do they strap it around?
02:44Yeah.
02:45It's like the Mohs scale.
02:47They measure hardness.
02:48Yeah.
02:49Oh, Jesus.
02:51And you called it the Peter meter?
02:53That's what the nickname is.
02:55Dude, we need to get one of those in the office.
02:58And what it is, is they have these hearings about these people and their danger level.
03:04Yeah.
03:05And one of the things that they measure is if they're too dangerous to be let out of prison.
03:09So, like, there's, like, a level where they can be too hard, and it's like, you're going
03:16to prison, buddy.
03:17Well, I guess it's more like how fast it responds.
03:19Okay.
03:21Holy shit.
03:21I didn't know that kind of tech existed.
03:23I didn't know either, but I was in the hearing, and they were talking about the, the, the, the,
03:28the, uh, I forgot what the technical term was.
03:32It was, uh, response to images.
03:35Yeah.
03:36The Peter meter.
03:37It's the Peter meter, plain and simple.
03:38That's what everyone, like, like, like, like, it's like, uh, that's the only way to describe
03:42it.
03:42It's, it's, it's the Peter meter.
03:44Is there a single thing you miss from the courthouse?
03:47No.
03:47Not one thing.
03:48Not one thing.
03:50Fair enough.
03:51I mean.
03:51How long were you there?
03:5316 years.
03:54Jesus, Frank.
03:56They give you anything on your way out?
03:57Nope.
03:58Okay.
03:59But then again, in fairness, it was right in the middle of COVID.
04:03There is not even, everyone was working remotely at that time.
04:05Anybody ever pull a gun out?
04:07No.
04:08Okay.
04:09But there was, uh, time before I was working that something happened.
04:15Bad?
04:16Yeah.
04:17Where, uh, like, uh, someone snuck a gun into the, uh, it was like, uh, someone who, uh,
04:23worked for the sheriff's department.
04:24Yeah.
04:24Snuck a gun to their boyfriend and their boyfriend shot, uh, shot an officer to try to escape.
04:30Jesus Christ.
04:31Yep.
04:32If you would have been there, it would have gone down differently.
04:34Like Wahlberg.
04:37There was one time a door to trial where the guy was waiting for a jury and he got, so
04:43I guess he realized he was going to be, he was fucked.
04:46Yeah.
04:46He was going to be found guilty.
04:49He was, uh, going to go to prison for a very long time.
04:52Probably life.
04:53Yeah.
04:53And, uh, well, he, uh, there was an open window and, uh, he climbed through and jumped
05:04ten stories and he landed on, like, uh, a little roof that was, like, on the dirt floor
05:11and, uh, until they fixed the roof near the end of my tenure at the courthouse, you could
05:18still see, like, the stain.
05:19Of his body?
05:21Uh, yeah.
05:21You could still see the indent in the, uh, the, uh, the lower roof.
05:26You're, you're, you're telling me this story grinning ear to ear, you sicko.
05:30Well, it's the story's at the courthouse.
05:32It's the story's from the courthouse, I guess.
05:34I remember there was one time when, uh, there was a trial going on and there was, uh, armed
05:42robbery trial.
05:43Mm-hmm.
05:43Uh, they, uh, these guys were following people out of a strip club and robbing them.
05:48And it was, uh, their sister, his sister was stripping, one of the guys who was robbing.
05:55Yeah.
05:55His sister was a stripper.
05:56Oh, my God.
05:57And, uh, so they were all hanging out and the police actually just happened to pawn the
06:01way as they're driving him.
06:02And you see the guy with his hands up and that's how they arrest these two guys.
06:06With the, yeah, okay.
06:07Yeah, so.
06:08With their hands up like this.
06:09Yeah, yeah, they actually caught the robbery in process.
06:12So they're testifying.
06:13One guy didn't even want to testify.
06:14Yeah, so in his property was, uh, was crack, heroin, and marijuana.
06:18He was actually a drug dealer.
06:20Not what you want?
06:21Yeah, so he didn't even, so they, they robbed a drug dealer.
06:24So he, like, reluctantly, and he's the one that they actually caught.
06:27Hands up like that?
06:28Yeah.
06:28In the act.
06:29Yeah, so.
06:30Can't get much more guilty than that.
06:31Because he wanted, well, he was the, he was the victim.
06:33Yeah.
06:34But he was a drug dealer, so he didn't want to say no.
06:36Oh, Jesus.
06:38Oh, my God.
06:38So it was, like, just wilding, sort of testifying.
06:41And this is why you're working.
06:42Yeah.
06:42So someone, someone comes in to testify, or the sister, who's a stripper, comes in to testify
06:49why everyone was hanging out outside this, uh, this strip club in Irvington, New Jersey.
06:54Yeah.
06:55Uh, and, uh, let's say, she was a little rotund.
06:59She's not the traditional stripper that you want to see stripping out of a strip hall.
07:03There was a strip club in my hometown that's specifically for those types of strippers.
07:07So, she is, like, like, and she's got a cold, so she's, like, got snot running.
07:13She's actually oozing.
07:15And she's testifying.
07:16An oozing fat stripper?
07:18Yes.
07:18That's just how everybody likes, that's how Betts likes them.
07:21So, she says, well, why is everyone hanging outside?
07:26You see, they're finally, like, saying that she, like, pointed out who to rob?
07:29Yeah.
07:29And then she says, well, he goes, she goes, it's hot as a motherfucker in that club.
07:34So the prosecutor, without even skipping a beat, goes, so tell me, just how hot is a
07:41motherfucker?
07:43That's what the prosecutor said?
07:44Yes.
07:44God damn.
07:45That was in cross-examination.
07:47It's hot as a, she said, described the club as being hot as a motherfucker.
07:50And he looked at her and goes, well, just how hot is a motherfucker?
07:54Yeah, tell us.
07:56Fleming, you have some interesting stories.
07:58You have an interesting past.
08:00Yeah, so now what about your past?
08:01I mean, you went to West Virginia.
08:03You knew KB growing up.
08:05I didn't, I knew of KB growing up.
08:07We're from the same small town of Bethlehem, West Virginia.
08:10But when he was focused on, like, wrestling and making friends, I was playing World of Warcraft.
08:17And watching all the Nicktoons.
08:18And watching every Nicktoon.
08:20And find all the Pokemons.
08:21Yeah, except I'm a little rusty, as you know, from the niche.
08:26This is our year.
08:29Book it.
08:31We've been stumbling this year.
08:34But I think we're in a good spot because we can't go into the tournament with high expectations,
08:38right?
08:39Every time we do, we get fucking upset by Large.
08:42And Ken Jack fucked us last year.
08:46I hope you haven't talked to him since.
08:47I hope that's a mortal enemy for you.
08:49And the other one that always gets us is the damn Uptown Balls.
08:53Uptown Balls.
08:53Tommy Smokes is my biggest nemesis in the world.
08:55I wish nothing but the worst for him.
08:57How's he been?
08:58He's doing fine.
08:59Okay, okay.
09:00I think he's finally...
09:01He did something with Survivor.
09:04Yeah, yeah.
09:05It's just like a fan thing.
09:06He'll never make the actual show.
09:08I mean, come on.
09:09It's the only way I could...
09:10I wouldn't watch that show for the other reason.
09:12Oh, no.
09:12Tommy Smokes would be the only reason.
09:14I mean...
09:15Would you ever do it?
09:16I watched...
09:17No.
09:17Would you ever do the office one here?
09:19I don't think I'd be comfortable doing that.
09:21No, no.
09:21I...
09:22I thought about doing it last year.
09:23Dude, it's...
09:24But the problem is if you lose, you have to, like, hide.
09:29Yeah, you're right.
09:30You're right.
09:31And, like, it seems like it ruined a lot of people's lives.
09:34Yeah.
09:36Have you ever thought about...
09:37I don't think that's my type of...
09:38I don't think that's my type of content.
09:39Have you ever thought about writing an autobiography?
09:42Uh, maybe down the road.
09:44I would be very interested in it.
09:46What would you name it?
09:47I don't know.
09:48Made it out the mudder?
09:50A little entendre if you were a natural birth?
09:55I don't think I'd...
09:56Actually, I think I was a cesarean, so...
09:58You were a C-section.
09:59Yes.
10:01If I'm not mistaken, yeah.
10:03Okay.
10:06So, what's new with you these days?
10:07What's new with me?
10:08You're doing the yak.
10:09You're doing the yak.
10:10Dude.
10:11Any new Rediscovery Americas coming out soon?
10:14We're working on some more videos.
10:16I think we're going to do a little bit more casual vlog-type stuff, because, like, they're
10:23a lot easier to churn out at a higher velocity.
10:25I mean, you got...
10:26You know, like, going to do your raw dogs, doing stuff like this.
10:30I mean, you never know what you're going to see when you do a raw dog.
10:32I mean, I saw an accident.
10:33Dude, that's one of the funniest things you showed me today.
10:35I need you commentating on every car accident, every police chase.
10:39I need, like, a Fleming soundboard.
10:41Well, I think that would be a good thing to do.
10:42Like, news videos and me just, like, commenting on the news videos.
10:47Dude, somebody needs to make a soundboard of you so we, like, we can prank call as you.
10:51I would love it.
10:52You ever prank call?
10:52Were you a prankster?
10:53Yes, I was.
10:54What?
10:55Yes, I was.
10:55What were you doing?
10:56Were you pantsing dorks?
10:58I would typically go to, like, a payphone or something like that and, like, just prank
11:02people.
11:03Really?
11:04Yeah.
11:04What was your fake name?
11:06Billy Bob Joe Jacksmit.
11:11That's pretty good.
11:12I'm looking...
11:13Hello?
11:13Now I'm 401.
11:15I'm looking for my Aunt Charlotte.
11:17She's in Charlotte.
11:18They need a whole town after her.
11:19Can you tell me where I can find her?
11:22You were doing that for payphones.
11:23Yes.
11:23You're a menace.
11:25I was always Philip McRevis.
11:26Well, I was waiting for a bus.
11:28So I was bored and waiting for a bus.
11:30So I started just, like, doing this crank call for a payphone.
11:34You know what's funny is that payphone is actually still there but completely destroyed.
11:39It's got, like, half a phone.
11:41It's got, like, no train.
11:42Really?
11:43It looks like something that was, like, left out of, like, zombie times.
11:47They need to put a plaque under it, man.
11:49That's, like, where you get started.
11:50So all of your content kind of sparked from public transportation.
11:55Probably, yeah.
11:55Yeah, yeah.
11:56So the walks now, though, I mean, yeah, you're a transport guy.
12:01Walk, train, bus.
12:04You going to do some plane content?
12:06Nah, I just try to keep myself on a plane.
12:09Have you flown private?
12:11Yes.
12:11I never have.
12:12God damn, Fleming.
12:13What a come up.
12:13Was it to Ruff and Rowdy?
12:15Yes, it was.
12:15How was it?
12:16That was fine.
12:17Dude, I'm too afraid.
12:18Those things are tiny.
12:20Were you cool about it?
12:21Could you get used to that?
12:22I could get used to it, yes.
12:23Dude, a few more cameos and just get Fleming Airlines.
12:27Get a private jet.
12:28I, I, and I'm disappointed we haven't done this yet.
12:31Hmm.
12:31I think we should name Dave's private jet Airstool One.
12:36That's, that's pretty good.
12:38That's really good.
12:39You should pitch that to him.
12:41I've mentioned it a few times, but it seems like it's gone nowhere.
12:44Airstool One.
12:45I will, I will never step foot on a private plane, dude.
12:48That's not bad.
12:49Took out John Denver?
12:50Randy Rhoads?
12:51Well, no, no, no.
12:52Leonard Skinner?
12:53John Denver was flying his own plane.
12:55Yeah.
12:57Flew too low and he might have been, he might have been.
12:59Yeah, he was a little Rocky Mountain High probably.
13:02Oh, Jesus Christ, Frank.
13:06Jesus Christ, Fleming.
13:08Too soon.
13:10That was, I need, that was phenomenally clever.
13:14I need a clip of that.
13:17There's been a lot of people attempting stand-up here.
13:19Would you ever try to get up on the stage?
13:20Yeah, I've done it with the Mets in the oil industry.
13:24That's right, that's right.
13:25You did a roast to the Mets.
13:25That's what I think you would excel at.
13:27I think a Dave Portnoy roast.
13:29You up there destroying boss man?
13:32I like to bring back the old celebrity roasts.
13:35Like, just bring on celebrities where I can just, like, rip them.
13:40Like, any celebrity you can name them.
13:46Just, like, ripping them into them.
13:47So would you want to roast, because people say roasting's an honor.
13:50Would you want to roast a celebrity you loved or somebody you hated?
13:53I don't know.
13:54It could be a little bit of both.
13:57How do you like Chicago?
13:59Ah, Chicago's fine.
14:01It's just, I'm a New Yorker.
14:02We've got to get your ass here, Tank.
14:04Well, first off, I would have seen my second straight accident.
14:11Bats getting run over by a, uh...
14:13You know, the Dolphins used to be owned by waste management.
14:20Really?
14:21That's still waste management down there, dude.
14:23Yeah, Wayne Heisinger.
14:25They're dealing with a bunch of trash.
14:26Wayne Heisinger owned waste management.
14:29I want the Steelers to trade for Tua tonight.
14:32You don't want him.
14:32I want Tua.
14:34He's broken.
14:35I want a lefty quarterback.
14:36He's broken.
14:37I want Cordell Stewart.
14:38He's broken.
14:39You think he's broken?
14:40Yeah.
14:41I think his...
14:42First off, his hip looks like it's...
14:44He might need to get hip replacement surgery.
14:46A hip replacement surgery?
14:47Yeah.
14:49His hip is, like, bad.
14:50He hurt it in college.
14:51He hurt it again last year.
14:53And supposedly, it's not healing right.
14:56He's got the concussion issues.
14:58And then the offensive line...
15:00Oh, no.
15:01Offensive line?
15:01Ha-ha!
15:02You don't do offensive line.
15:03All you need is speed.
15:06You guys need Shader Sanders.
15:08God forbid.
15:08I don't want that to happen.
15:09I don't want that to happen.
15:10Maybe.
15:11Why not?
15:11No.
15:12I want to feel the pain.
15:14Then you should bring Deion in to coach.
15:16No, no, no, no.
15:17Shovel the dirt on his team.
15:19Let it crumble.
15:20Let it fall apart.
15:21Shader's a legend.
15:22They retired his numbers, right?
15:23Yeah, that was ridiculous.
15:25Let it fall apart and start with a whole new regime.
15:29And as for moving, you know, I'm a Jersey guy.
15:32And J. Tank.
15:33First off, moving would be a pain in the ass.
15:36In New Jersey, did they actually say, we cannot protect your property?
15:40Because property is a construct of evilness.
15:44And in fact, they call it Marxist moving New Jersey.
15:46They're saying that?
15:47Yeah.
15:47They're saying that in Jersey?
15:48Yeah, yeah.
15:48God damn.
15:49You can't, they don't even have you, you have to do all your boxes, put them on there.
15:53They might provide a truck for you.
15:55And they said that if you smash your property, it's good for you because you're better off
16:00leaving with nothing.
16:01The only thing you need is to sweat and labor on your back.
16:04That is what they say.
16:05So, uh, and, uh...
16:08No, no, no.
16:09Are you tired of this dude yet, Betts?
16:11And besides, someone has to keep the lights on in New York.
16:14Oh, Jesus, Fleming.
16:15Come on.
16:16I mean...
16:17What about Tommy Smokes?
16:21What about Feidelberg?
16:22Well, Feidelberg does his stuff with KFC.
16:24Yeah.
16:25He's in New York.
16:27Yeah, Feidelberg does just do his stuff with KFC.
16:30I mean, uh, we, we gotta keep the, we gotta keep New York City office interesting, and
16:35that's what I'm trying to do.
16:36You know what, yeah, every time Tommy Smokes takes a girl out on a date, uh, he should be
16:41thanking you that he could pay the tab.
16:43He should send you a text every time he pays for dinner, thank you, Frank.
16:47I agree.
16:48I'm glad you said that.
16:49Well, uh, I'm glad that you're doing well in Chicago.
16:53Yeah, thanks, Frank.
16:54Hopefully this year will be the year for the dozen championship, and, uh, thanks, thanks
16:59again for joining us.
16:59Fleming, you're the man.
17:00Love you, buddy.
17:01All right.
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