- 9 months ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Who's Line Is It Anyway?
00:30The game where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:36What's going to happen tonight is our performers are going to be coming up here and totally making up things based on suggestions from the audience and ourselves.
00:43Nobody knows what's coming. It's going to be great.
00:45And I'll award them points depending on how good they do.
00:47And at the end of the show, the winner gets to do something with me.
00:54So are you ready for the first game?
00:56Let's get started.
00:57All right. The first game we're going to play is called Weird Newscaster, which is all four of you.
01:04And in this game, Brad is going to be the anchorman of a local news program.
01:09And Colin, Wayne and Ryan are the co-presenters on the show.
01:12But each one of them has a rather odd character.
01:15Brad, your co-anchor is going to be Colin.
01:17Colin, you're a bad stand-up comic.
01:19Oh, I'm sorry. Your character is a bad stand-up comic. I'm sorry.
01:27My mistake.
01:29Wayne, you're the sports guy.
01:30And you're going to be doing your sports cast on a big public address system in a big stadium.
01:35And the weatherman is Ryan.
01:36And Ryan, you're a stock market trader watching your life savings disappear.
01:40And so, Brad, Brad, whenever you hear the music start, you can just go ahead.
01:51Hello and welcome to the 6 o'clock news.
01:53I'm Richard Sportwood, and with the national news, here's Peter Longfellow.
01:58Peter?
01:59Hi.
02:00Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying.
02:02Could this be an act of cod?
02:03Some people think it's because of the heavy rains lately.
02:12It was raining cats and dogs.
02:14I stepped into a poodle.
02:18It's like puddle, but spelled differently.
02:26I have 28 more minutes.
02:30Sure is quiet in the newsroom, isn't it?
02:32All right, and now let's go over to the sports.
02:35Please welcome Carlos Nice Package.
02:36Carlos?
02:36Thank you Carlos, I echo that sentiment.
03:06And now, to the weather. Please welcome Jerry Throbmorton. Jerry. And with the weather, Jerry Throbmorton.
03:16Oh, I'm sorry. Hello on a happy day. Sunny out now, but it looks like we're going to have cloudy days ahead. Cloudy, cloudy days ahead. Storms on the rise, you can see it. What's the matter? What's the matter, anybody? I don't care.
03:36Well, that's all the time we have tonight on the 6 o'clock news. I guess we won't find out about that weekend weather, will we?
03:48I guess not.
03:49All right, tune in later for the local news at 10. Thank you so much.
03:53Oh, my God. Half a point for each of you.
04:04Now, we come to a game called Duet. Brad and Wayne are going to come out and do this game, and they're going to sing a duet about someone in the audience, and they'll be accompanied by the lovely Laura Hall on the piano. Laura, is there a woman who would like a song made up about her in the audience? Anybody? Any woman who'd like a song? Oh, right here. What's your name?
04:21Peyton James.
04:22Peyton, Peyton James. Okay, and Peyton, what do you do for a living?
04:24I act.
04:27You act like what?
04:31Oh, a buddy of the actors. Come on up here, Peyton. We'll give you a break. Come on up. Yay.
04:34Hey, how are you?
04:44This game's just for Brad and Wayne. Sorry.
04:46Okay, Peyton, they're going to sing a song to you in the style of a doo-wop 50 song.
04:50Okay, so, Laura, are you ready?
04:58Dear Peyton, it's overly hard, but now that you're on this show, you'll get your union card.
05:08Dear Peyton, you see, I know your bag. Years and years, you've wanted to be sag.
05:15So, Peyton, we're not understating. No, no, no, no, no.
05:22And you will be dating.
05:23You will be dating.
05:24Cause we're still waiting.
05:26We're waiting, Peyton.
05:29Right from the start.
05:32You with your blonde hair, your purple, your nice booty.
05:35You've got a home.
05:37Oh, Peyton.
05:42Oh, Peyton.
05:44Can I come to your Peyton place?
05:52Thank you very much, Peyton.
05:54Thank you very much.
05:58That's just fine.
06:01Thank you, Peyton.
06:03That'll be 100 points each for singing to her so nicely, and 125 points each deducted
06:13for touching her.
06:18Now we go on to a game called Animals.
06:21And in this game, Brad, Ryan, and Colin, this is for you, you're going to improvise the scene
06:24as Animals.
06:26And the scene is, Ryan, you're having an affair with your secretary, Colin, and you're going
06:33to be surprised by your wife, Brad.
06:38And to make it extra special, you're all going to be chimpanzees.
06:50Any more dictation?
06:54Yeah, why don't you sit on my lap here and copy down...
06:57Don't chase me around the desk!
07:05You know how much I love you.
07:10You're everything to me, as long as my wife doesn't find out.
07:24She's upset!
07:28What are you doing in here?
07:32I love him!
07:33I just bought him a new shirt at the Man of Republic!
07:38Look, I love her.
07:40I'm running away with her.
07:41That's what I said, running away with her!
07:43Damn those velcro pants!
08:06I can't see anymore!
08:08Oh, no!
08:09Oh, no!
08:20Brad, 100 points.
08:22And $100, you've come to my place after the show.
08:27Now, let's play a game called Props.
08:29Now, we're going to invite everybody into two teams.
08:31Ryan and Brad, you're going to be in...
08:32This is your prop.
08:34You're going to be in the first one.
08:35And, uh, Colin and Wayne, this is yours.
08:40And, uh, it's going to have to be using them as many interesting ways as possible.
08:43I'll buzz them back and forth.
08:44Uh, Ryan and Brad.
08:46Ryan and Brad, you're going to start.
08:48Could you get the oven door for me, Brad?
08:49Sure.
08:53My ice cream's melting!
08:57First time in a rhino bar?
08:59Yeah.
09:02Nail!
09:03Nail!
09:04Nail!
09:05Here comes the crane!
09:07Oh, no!
09:14I'm just going to dissect the creature and...
09:16So how long you been growing this mustache?
09:25Surprise!
09:25Surprise!
09:29We're evil Smurfs.
09:30We're evil Smurfs.
09:32We're evil Smurfs.
09:33That's a big parrot, Carl.
09:49You know, we really should have told the jester about the quicksand.
09:54Thank you, Carl.
09:55Okay.
09:57That's it.
09:58We'll be right back with more, uh, for this commercial on Whose Line Is It Anyway?
10:02Bye-bye.
10:02Don't go away.
10:03Bye-bye.
10:10Hello, and welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
10:12The show where we make everything up and the points don't matter at all.
10:19We now come to a game called Moving People.
10:21This is a great one.
10:22Colin and Ryan, they're going to be doing this one.
10:24They'll be improvising a scene, but they can't move unless somebody moves them.
10:28So what I'm going to do is I'm going to come up to the audience.
10:30I'm going to get two volunteers that want to help, uh, move.
10:34Hi, Dota.
10:34Colin and Ryan.
10:35Let's have, uh, da-da-da-da-da.
10:38Let's have you right there with the glasses.
10:40Come on up.
10:40And, uh, you right there in the black.
10:42Come on down.
10:43What's your name?
10:44Wes.
10:44Wes.
10:44Nice to meet you, Wes.
10:45Uh, what's your name?
10:46Melanie.
10:46Melanie, come on up.
10:47How you doing?
10:47Wes and Melanie.
10:48How about a nice round of applause?
10:49Go on up.
10:49Pick up.
10:50Pick up.
10:50Pick up.
10:50All right.
10:50All right.
10:51And, uh, now, what you're going to do now, they can't move unless you move them in a
10:57position.
10:57You can move their arms, legs, heads, whatever.
11:00So, uh, pretend they're dummies right now.
11:02Move them into your favorite position.
11:03Let's start out.
11:06I like how they just bent them all over right away.
11:09We'll start out just like that.
11:11You got the idea.
11:12Ryan is Count Dracula.
11:14And Colin is the man who has come to kill him.
11:19So, whenever you're ready, go.
11:20And don't forget to wrap the scene.
11:21Move them wherever you'd like.
11:22And that's how a chicken lays an egg.
11:25But enough of the wildlife documentary, Dracula.
11:28Quiet!
11:29I'm praying to Allah.
11:32Oh, I sense something.
11:36Are you a Taurus?
11:38Yes, I am.
11:39Very well.
11:40I knew so.
11:41Ha, ha.
11:42I make myself laugh.
11:43Oh, tight puns.
11:45All right.
11:46I now have you in the ancient vampire elbow lock.
11:50Don't you know you can't kill a vampire?
11:55Why's that?
11:57Because.
11:59Because they fight back.
12:01That's why, my friend.
12:02Oh.
12:02Oh.
12:04I feel sad.
12:05For I have not even seen who I am fighting.
12:09I forgot my steak, so I'm going to have to eat through your chest.
12:13A vampire is fine, as long as he doesn't look his accused straight in the face.
12:19Which doesn't seem to be a problem for me.
12:21All right, Dracula.
12:27I've had enough of this.
12:28I'm getting that wooden thing over there.
12:31If I could just find it.
12:34You go, my friend.
12:35But you'll never kill me if I get back in my coffin.
12:38Quickly.
12:38Oh, yes.
12:39Quickly, I run.
12:39Quickly, I run.
12:40I'm running myself.
12:41Look at me go.
12:42One step.
12:42Oh, no, I've been.
12:43Oh, look at the wind that's blowing behind me.
12:46I got the wooden thing.
12:47And now, Dracula, prepare to watch me twist.
12:53Try to shoot me.
12:55While I fly away, my friend.
12:57Fly away, I shall.
13:00If I ever start, flap you off.
13:02Thank you, Melanie and Wes.
13:09I'm going to take a shoot.
13:10Thank you very much.
13:11That was very nice.
13:14That was great.
13:15Melanie and Wes, you get 100 bucks each.
13:17Just kidding.
13:18You don't get any money.
13:20I don't give you any money to do anything.
13:22Now, let's play a game called Party Quirks.
13:24In this game, Brad, you're going to be hosting a party.
13:27And Wayne, Colin, and Ryan are going to be the guests of the party.
13:29But each of them has a strange quirk or identity.
13:32They're looking at the envelopes.
13:33This is the first time they've seen these.
13:35First time they've seen these.
13:36And what Brad has to do is guess what those are.
13:39So, I want to come out here and get ready for the party.
13:40And Wayne, Colin, and Ryan, you'll line up over there.
13:42And I'll bring you in one at a time with the doorbell.
13:44Brad, whenever you're ready, go ahead and start the party.
13:46Yeah, I'm just reeling from the whole ginger spice thing.
13:49I don't know.
13:51Oh, hold on.
13:51I got to go.
13:52I'm throwing a party.
13:54Hey, hey, welcome to the party.
13:56Oh, uh...
13:57Come on in.
14:07Try the dip.
14:11Try some of the cheese puffs right over there.
14:15Oh, you really...
14:17Try to run back.
14:19Hope some of my other guests will show up.
14:22Maybe I should turn on the music.
14:23Hello.
14:25Hey.
14:26Colin.
14:27Look out.
14:29Colin.
14:37Come on in.
14:38All right.
14:39Try the dip.
14:40Great.
14:40Try the Cheetos.
14:46Oh.
14:47That's my final guest.
14:49I only invited three people.
14:51Hi.
14:52Another breath.
14:53Thanks for inviting me.
14:54Oh.
14:58Come on in.
15:00Did you hear something?
15:02Uh, no.
15:02Not that I know.
15:03Come on in.
15:03I guess I'm just a little...
15:05I'd like you to meet my friend.
15:12This is Dances of the World.
15:14I'm sure you've met before.
15:15Not quite, but keep on going.
15:16All right, Charleston.
15:18Now you're...
15:18Hear all the dances of the universe.
15:20Uh, that's close enough.
15:22He's, uh...
15:22All the dances of the 21st century.
15:26Okay.
15:27Look out!
15:29Oh.
15:32Todd, man.
15:34No.
15:34Be careful.
15:35No, not even close.
15:37You're not the guy from the ABC Sports Agony defeat thing, are you?
15:41That's close enough.
15:42He's a spear who keeps running into things.
15:44Oh!
15:45Well, I guess it's just me and the gazelle.
15:51I'll give it to you a gazelle.
15:52That's a deer.
15:54That's the first day I'm going to see you.
16:01Gazelle, deer, who can tell the difference?
16:02Yeah, really.
16:03That's how I ended up in jail.
16:07You're going to get a warning.
16:0930 points apiece.
16:10Okay, next game is called Scene to Wrap.
16:13In this game, Brad and Wayne are going to make up a scene together, and they'll be joined
16:17later by Colin and Ryan.
16:18However, they're going to be rapping.
16:23And they'll be accompanied by Mix Master Laura Hall, Funky Laura Hall there.
16:28And now what I need from the audience is an everyday place where people might meet.
16:31Park.
16:32A park.
16:32Square dance.
16:33Park is fine.
16:34That's fine.
16:35Let's make it the park.
16:36Park.
16:37You know why?
16:37Because a lot of things rhyme with park.
16:39Yeah.
16:39So, Laura, whenever you're ready, go ahead.
16:42I see you're standing in the park.
16:48What do you do to keep your dog from barking?
16:52I see that you need a for the party.
16:55Well, there is one right over there.
16:57Go in line.
16:58It isn't fair.
16:59Go on.
17:00Go.
17:00Go.
17:01Go.
17:01Go.
17:02Go.
17:02Go.
17:03Go.
17:03Go.
17:04Go.
17:04Go.
17:04Come on.
17:04Come on.
17:05You ain't nobody.
17:06This is my park.
17:07My dog can go party.
17:08Yes, that's right. I work voodoo. It's my greenery. He can do-do.
17:13You can't tell me what I can do and what I can't.
17:15I might rave and then I might rant.
17:17If you want this, man, come on, bro.
17:19I beat you from my feet to my afro.
17:30Hey there, boys. I'm a way to have a dasher
17:32because I'm in the park and I'm a flasher.
17:34I try to rave. I really try, but I can't because I'm just a white guy saying, huh?
17:47Well, he's a special time to show.
17:49I thought I'd see a little more.
17:52Maybe it's just goat outside, but he's got nothing but a little to hide.
18:00Hey there, buddy. Hey there, slugger.
18:03Put up your hands. I'm a friendly mugger.
18:05Give me your money. Give me your dog.
18:07Cut down the tree and then give me a log.
18:09Give me the bushes and give me the trees.
18:11Give me the dogs with all the fleas.
18:13Give me the sky. Give me that thing.
18:16Woo! I'm crazy.
18:17Woo!
18:22Woo!
18:26All right. That was great. Don't go away.
18:31We'll be right back after this commercial.
18:33And hey, when we come back, we'll announce the winner.
18:34The winner gets to do a little improv with me.
18:36Stay tuned.
18:44Hey, welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
18:46Tonight's winner is Colin Mochrie.
18:47Colin, tonight's winner. Congratulations.
18:51And, uh...
18:53This is one.
18:53Colin and I are going to improvise a scene together.
18:55It's called Foreign Film Dubs.
18:56And we're going to improvise a scene in a language
18:58that you guys are going to choose.
18:59And then we'll make up a movie.
19:01And the title you guys are going to supply to us.
19:03And while we're doing this in a foreign language,
19:05Brad's going to translate for me.
19:07And Ryan's going to translate for Colin.
19:08Okay, so we need a language...
19:10Chinese.
19:11What?
19:12Chinese.
19:14Chinese.
19:14That's easy to fake.
19:15And, uh...
19:16Now we need a name of an epic film title.
19:19Make up a name of a film.
19:21Gesundheit.
19:22Gesundheit.
19:22Great Chinese.
19:23Okay, now we're going to act out the great Chinese film,
19:26Gesundheit.
19:26Cover your mouth.
19:38I'm sorry.
19:39The cold has come upon me like winter on our city.
19:46Here, take this to 415 Main Street.
19:48Give me a break.
19:56My donkey's dead.
20:02Oh, well, I'll try to stuff him into this small hole.
20:07I have lived in this city all my life.
20:19As a young boy growing up,
20:21my father told me to set forth on my own.
20:23Find my own fortune.
20:25Seek the gold that I wanted from years gone by.
20:28I met a young girl one day,
20:29and we fell deeply in love.
20:31Had children first.
20:32They grew up to be very proud of me.
20:34I love you.
20:36I love you.
20:49Wait.
20:50I will give you the lucky cayenne pepper salute.
20:54Uh-oh.
20:57Achoo!
20:57Your wig.
20:58My biggest apologies.
21:09Try one of my wigs.
21:16Even though I look better,
21:20I am still the ugliest man in China.
21:22Thank you very much for joining us.
21:29See you next time on Who's On Is Everywhere.
21:31Good night.
21:31And we'll see you next time on who missed you.
21:50Bye.
21:55Bye.
21:59Bye.
22:00Bye.
22:00Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah