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00:00Good evening and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, bursting with flavor, it's Wayne Brady.
00:09Melching your mouth but not in your hand, Denny Siegel.
00:12Good to the last drop, Colin Mochrie.
00:14And goes down easy, Brian Stiles.
00:18I'm your host, you're Gary One Doll. Let's have some fun.
00:26Hello. Hello.
00:30Hello, how you doing? Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:32The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:36If you've never saw the show before, what happens is our performers are going to come out here
00:40and they're going to make up everything right off the top of their heads, right in front of your very eyes,
00:43based on suggestions that are written on these cards, which have you never seen before,
00:46and based on suggestions from the audience.
00:48And then I give them points. I don't know why, because the points don't mean a thing.
00:52I just pick whoever I like at the end of the show. They get to win.
00:54And then they get to do a little something special with me.
01:00Yeah, that's what I said right here on network television.
01:07I don't care who knows it either.
01:08Let's start with a game called Questions Only.
01:10This is for all four of you. Denny and Wayne, you're going to start it off.
01:13They're going to start a scene, but they can only ask questions.
01:15That's all they're allowed to do is ask questions.
01:16If they go wrong, I'm going to buzz them out. The other person will take their place.
01:19The scene is you're in a daytime soap opera, and it's questions only, so go ahead.
01:25Have you seen my heart?
01:30Don't you recognize it crushed in my lily-white fist?
01:34Why did you leave me, Gloria?
01:36Why did you tell me my twin sister was prettier?
01:38Why didn't you work out so you look like her?
01:45How does this feel?
01:49Oh!
01:50Ow!
01:55Are you Mrs. Phillips?
02:01Are you Mr. Phillips?
02:03Who's asking?
02:05Are you aware you're going to be a father?
02:06Who's the mother?
02:11You don't know?
02:13Don't you know I've had a wide experience of women?
02:18Are you Dutch?
02:21Why should that be taken into account?
02:27Would you believe that I'm your son?
02:36Do you mean from that one night of passion with Geralda?
02:43What you talking about, Daddy?
02:49Why don't we stop playing around and tell me what you want?
02:52Care for a back rub?
02:53What do you think you're doing?
02:58Don't you want a real man in your life?
03:02Why not?
03:09Don't you know you have to leave this town, Gary?
03:11Did you hear Gary left?
03:21Okay, that's it.
03:24Why should I give you points for that?
03:33Would a thousand be too many?
03:37Questions only.
03:38Okay, let's go on to a game called Song Styles.
03:40This is for Wayne with help.
03:41Laura Hall on the piano.
03:42Laura Hall!
03:43Okay, so let's wander up into the audience.
03:49Let's check out somebody.
03:51Hi, what's your name?
03:53Sheila.
03:53Sheila, nice to meet you.
03:54Sheila, what do you do for a living?
03:55I'm an attorney for the INS.
03:57You're an attorney for the INS.
04:00All right, see you soon.
04:02Hi, don't you, Sheila.
04:03Say hi to Wayne Brady.
04:07Wayne, this is Sheila.
04:10What's the INS?
04:11The Internal Immigration and Naturalization Service.
04:14Oh, see, see?
04:15Yeah.
04:16Despite her appearances, she claims to be an attorney.
04:22She's an attorney, yeah.
04:23So is Susan Day.
04:25Wow.
04:27Every good-looking woman's an attorney.
04:29Okay.
04:30Okay, Sheila, you're an attorney, I believe you.
04:32And she works for the INS.
04:33And you're going to be singing a song to her in a gospel style.
04:38Like a gospel song.
04:39So, Sheila, INS, go ahead.
04:41Woo!
04:44Woo!
04:47Oh, Lord.
04:49Now, your love is a thing that I want to know, duh.
04:57But you keep stopping me from crossing your border.
05:01Why don't you let me in to your plane?
05:13Oh!
05:14Come on, everybody!
05:18I'm trying to make my way into your country.
05:21But all your friends, they start to hunt me.
05:26Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:28I want to get with you, because you've got experience.
05:32Oh!
05:32But when I migrate, why don't you come to my defense?
05:36Hey!
05:37I'm going to run for your love.
05:40I'm going to swim for your love.
05:43I'm going to swing for your love.
05:45I'll run for your love.
05:48Because the dogs and the guards can't stop me from jumping your fish.
05:52Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:57Your love, you can't deny.
06:00Oh, na, na.
06:03Now, your love, you can't deny.
06:05Oh, Lord, please help me get on in.
06:09Oh!
06:11Hola!
06:11Welcome!
06:13Oh!
06:17Yeah, Sheila!
06:19Thank you, Sarah.
06:21Sheila!
06:25Oh, man.
06:27Thank you, Laura.
06:28Thank you, Wayne.
06:28Hey, can't stop my love from jumping your fence.
06:32That was a true story, too.
06:33That was, that's...
06:35Hola, mamacita.
06:36Yeah, Tiero.
06:38That's worth a million points for the next show.
06:42Now let's go to a game called News Flash.
06:44This is for Ryan, Denny, and Colin.
06:46What's going to happen is, Ryan, Denny are going to be two anchors in a news studio.
06:49Colin's going to go out to be in the field, to be their field reporter.
06:51He's going to stand in front of this green screen here in the studio.
06:54As you can see, it's just green.
06:55He can't see what's behind him, even if he looks right at it, because it's only going to be green to him.
06:59But we can see what's going to be on here in the studio and on these monitors,
07:02and he has to try to guess what it is.
07:03Ryan and Denny are going to try to give him hints.
07:05And whenever you're ready, go ahead.
07:07Good luck to you, Colin.
07:08So a little breeze on it doesn't bother you?
07:09No, not at all.
07:10I like it.
07:11Oh, sorry.
07:13We interrupt this show for a special news bulletin.
07:16Yes, we've got Colin Mockery out on the field reporting live.
07:18Colin, how are the conditions out there?
07:20Well, as you can see, things have just gone beyond all.
07:28Let me look.
07:30It's unbelievable what's happening here.
07:32I am afraid for my life.
07:34Colin, Colin, do you have any idea how this whole thing started?
07:39Well, it all started in a revival of The King and I starring Jerry Springer.
07:42From then, it just spilled out onto the streets and chaos, chaos, chaos.
07:49Now, Colin, I notice that you're somewhat appropriately dressed.
07:52Are they accepting you as one of their own?
07:54Yes, I've had no problem fitting in.
07:57They seem to think I'm one of them.
08:06Really?
08:07Now, I've got to ask you, is it difficult for you to keep your professionalism in this midst of all of this that's happening here?
08:14Do you feel tempted to join in?
08:16I am so tempted.
08:18The only thing that's giving me back is this incredible sense of dedication that I have.
08:23Or I'd be right in, look, right there.
08:25I'd be right there.
08:27Right there, right there.
08:30But I'm here to get the news.
08:31That's what I'm here for.
08:37Colin, I understand there's a twist to this story.
08:40Yes, there is.
08:42What would that be?
08:43Do you know what it is?
08:44Yes.
08:45Well, of course, all these people are from the Senate.
08:49Really?
08:50That's the twist.
08:52Colin, I know this must be a real beach for you to be out there.
08:55We appreciate all the information you've given us.
08:57Yes.
08:58Colin, when do you plan on leaving?
08:59Well, right after the tournament.
09:01What tournament is that?
09:03That would be the naked volleyball.
09:04You want to give it one more clue for Colin?
09:12He's so close.
09:14I understand they've caught some fish in a net.
09:17Yes.
09:19And I tell you that it was bingo at this beach party.
09:25Hey, we're going to have a commercial when we come back.
09:28Love, what's more?
09:29Whose Line Is It Anyway?
09:30So go away.
09:31Hey, welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
09:41The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
09:43Hey, if you're keeping score at home, don't forget,
09:45send in your name and address or having a drawing
09:47to see who gets to watch the next episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway
09:49in the comfort of their own home.
09:55Could be you.
09:56Now let's go to a game called sound effects.
10:00This is for Colin and Ryan.
10:01Colin's going to improvise the scene.
10:03Ryan's going to provide the sound effects form.
10:04Here's the microphone.
10:06The scene is you're an Eastern European Olympic gymnast
10:11and you need a perfect 10 on all your routines.
10:26Oh!
10:34Oh!
10:35Oh!
10:35Oh!
10:35I don't know.
11:05much
11:22I
12:00I'd love to give you a lot of points for that, but I distinctly said gymnast and all your
12:23things were track and field.
12:34But hey, nice try.
12:36And now let's go on to a game called Weird Newscasters.
12:37This is for all four of you.
12:38Denny, you're going to be the anchor of a local news show.
12:41Colin, Wayne and Ryan are going to be the helpers on the show.
12:44Colin, you're the co-anchor and Denny has been spreading rumors about a disastrous state
12:49with you.
12:50Talking bad about you behind your back.
12:52Wayne, you're doing sports and you're caught in the middle of a busy freeway.
12:56And Ryan, you're the weatherman, you're Frankenstein's monster and you're looking for a mate.
13:01I don't know why we came up with the big, tall, scary guy for you to play, but hey, that's
13:08how it happened.
13:10So, Denny, whenever you hear the music, go ahead and start.
13:17Hello and welcome to the six o'clock evening news.
13:20I'm your anchor, Fifi Ledbottom, and my therapist is on vacation.
13:25Our top story tonight, researchers working at two major universities have discovered
13:30that nobody cares anymore if you work at a major university.
13:34And now, for more news, over to my co-anchor, Ripley Back.
13:37Ripley?
13:38This just in, ten out of ten men need a second chance.
13:43A second chance, that's all I need.
13:46I didn't know your shirt was flammable.
13:49I didn't know.
13:52Oh, God.
13:54Ripley, you need a breath mint, get a hold of yourself.
13:57Moving on now.
13:58We're going over to our sports guy, it's Ripley Arm.
14:01Ripley?
14:02Yeah, thanks.
14:04Thanks.
14:05Right now, the state of the whole basketball thing is that nothing's moving.
14:10Nothing at, nothing at all.
14:13What?
14:14Your mama.
14:17Oh, what?
14:18What?
14:19Huh?
14:20What?
14:21I will kick.
14:22Uh oh.
14:23Uh oh.
14:24Okay.
14:25Because the lockout, lockout.
14:26Damn, I'm locked out.
14:27Fine.
14:28Okay, look, I'll get right back to you.
14:29It appears that nothing's moving at all right now.
14:31And ah!
14:32Boom!
14:38Well, that's going to be the end of his sportscast for a very long time.
14:43My mother had a really nice time.
14:45Why don't you just accept her?
14:47Speaking of a nice time, it's a nice time to go to our weather guy, Just Ripley.
14:50Just Ripley.
14:51Just...
14:52Oh.
14:53Oh.
14:54Oh.
14:55Oh.
14:56Oh.
14:57Oh.
14:58Oh.
14:59Oh.
15:00Oh.
15:01Oh.
15:02Oh.
15:03Oh.
15:04Oh.
15:05Oh.
15:06Oh.
15:07Oh.
15:08Oh.
15:09Oh.
15:10Oh.
15:11Oh.
15:12Oh.
15:13Oh.
15:14Oh.
15:15Oh.
15:16Oh.
15:17Oh.
15:18Oh.
15:19Oh.
15:20Oh.
15:21Oh.
15:22Oh.
15:23Oh.
15:24Oh.
15:25Oh.
15:26Oh.
15:27Oh.
15:28Oh.
15:29Oh.
15:30Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
16:00Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
16:08Call me. Call me.
16:18And that wraps it all for the six o'clock news.
16:21Join us later for News at 11.
16:22Thank you. Good night.
16:30Oh, a thousand points each.
16:40One point for every night, I'll be dreaming of that.
16:46Let's go on to a game called Scene to Rap.
16:48This is for Wayne and Denny, and then Ryan and Connell will join them later.
16:51Wayne and Denny, you're going to make them a scene,
16:52and you're going to be rapping throughout the whole scene
16:54with the help of Laura Hall on the piano.
16:55Laura Hall.
17:00What I need from the audience is a suggestion for a kind of a disaster
17:06you might make a movie about.
17:07Earthquake.
17:08Earthquake.
17:09Earthquake's the first one I heard.
17:10We'll take Earthquake.
17:12Got it.
17:13Got Earthquake.
17:16Earthquake it is.
17:17Okay.
17:19Let's hear the Earthquake rap.
17:29Listen to me, baby.
17:30Now, I know with you, my love is complete.
17:34You make the Earth move under my feet.
17:36You're a big, handsome man, and you're a cop.
17:38But, baby, the Earth is moving, and it just won't stop.
17:41Now, I don't know what is going on.
17:43Wake the daughter.
17:44Wake the son.
17:45Something bad is coming around.
17:47Look, there's a big old crack in the ground.
17:49Whoa.
17:50Say what?
17:51There's a crack.
17:52Whoa.
17:53There's a crack.
17:54Crack.
17:55There's a crack.
17:56Not the usual kind of crack.
17:58Now, wait a second, girl.
17:59I hear what you say.
18:00Better grab the kids.
18:01Get under the doorway.
18:02You better get it.
18:03Get there fast.
18:04Or else a big rock will fall on your ass.
18:07Better move.
18:07Move.
18:08I'm moving my foot.
18:09Because you're better.
18:10Because the ground will break.
18:11All that is right, and that is that.
18:13Did you know Earthquakes can be predicted by cats?
18:15Whoa.
18:15Who are you?
18:17Hoo-hoo.
18:18What do you do?
18:19I know you're running.
18:20There's a lot at stake.
18:21Because the ground just started to shake.
18:24I'm okay.
18:25I'm not sunk.
18:26I ain't moving because I'm drunk.
18:34He's drunk.
18:35Yo, get under the dog jam.
18:37Stand back, everyone.
18:38Only one chance.
18:39I am the Lord of the River Dance.
18:41I'll do something to stop the vibrations by doing the dance of the Calpick Nation.
18:45Oh, my God.
18:57Okay, hey, listen.
18:59We're going to go to commercial right now.
19:00We'll come back.
19:00We're going to find out who the winner is.
19:01They get the rule of something special with me.
19:03Don't go away.
19:04More Who's Line waiting for this.
19:12Hey, welcome back to Who's Line?
19:14Anyway, tonight's winner is Denny Siegel.
19:16Denny Siegel is the winner.
19:21What we're going to do for you tonight is she's the winner.
19:23She gets us down.
19:24The rest of us have to do our favorite Who's Line game.
19:26Hoedown.
19:27Yeah.
19:27We've got the Laura Hall on the piano.
19:31What I need from the audience is a suggestion of a major life event.
19:36Blind date.
19:37Blind date.
19:38Blind date we're going to use.
19:39Okay.
19:41Laura Hall, whenever you're ready,
19:42let's hear the blind date hoedown.
19:52So there I am.
19:54I got a message in a bottle.
19:56I'd won a free date with a tall supermodel.
20:00She was about six foot five,
20:02but the date was really lame.
20:03I didn't have a good time
20:05because we played the crying game.
20:07I used to hate blind dates.
20:17They never did work out.
20:18They'd give me a kiss on the cheek
20:20and then they'd throw me out.
20:22Nowadays, my blind dates go off without a hitch.
20:26I know I'm not good looking,
20:28but I'm really, really rich.
20:29I had a blind date.
20:43It really was the pits.
20:45Nothing worked all night.
20:47I kept getting hit.
20:49She really was abusive.
20:51Man, oh man, oh man.
20:52But what else can you expect
20:54when your blind date is Roseanne?
21:08I had a blind date
21:10just the other night.
21:12The type of girl that really
21:14shouldn't be in the light.
21:16She wasn't really attractive.
21:18She was kind of bland.
21:19But she still beat the hell
21:22out of using my writing.
21:29Well, everybody,
21:29thank you all for watching.
21:30We'll see you next time.
21:49We'll see you next time.
22:03We'll see you next time.
22:04Bye.
22:04Bye.
22:04Bye.
22:04Bye.
22:05Bye.
22:05Bye.
22:05Bye.