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00:00Good evening and welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
00:05Tonight's performers, whatever you do, don't step in them.
00:08Greg Krups, if you're a lady, you gotta love Wayne Brady.
00:12Science experiment gone wrong, Colin Mochrie, and his fetish creator, Ryan Stiles.
00:18I'm your host, Steve Carey. Come on now, let's have some fun.
00:21Hello, and welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
00:32The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:34If you've never seen this show before, what happens is these guys are going to come down,
00:37and they're going to come down on stage, and they're going to totally improvise everything
00:40you're going to see tonight. It's all made up right on the spot, and they go by suggestions
00:44that we've had that they've never seen before, and also audience suggestions, and then I give
00:47them points for no reason, because at the end of the show, I just picked a guy I like
00:51best, and they get to do something with me.
00:57You ready to do the first game, see how it goes?
00:59Okay.
01:02We are going to start with a game called Daytime Talk Show.
01:07This is for all four of you. Greg, you're going to host a daytime talk show.
01:10Colin and Ryan, you're going to be the members of the public appearing on the show.
01:13Wayne, you're a guy in the audience who asks questions.
01:15The subject is not the normal one. We're going to deal with a fairy tale or a nursery rhyme.
01:20Fairy tale or a nursery rhyme?
01:21Hansel and Gretel.
01:23Hansel and Gretel. That's a good one. We haven't done that before. Hansel and Gretel,
01:25and whenever you're ready.
01:27Good afternoon, everyone. I'm Proop Doggy Dog.
01:32Hansel and Gretel, they were two small children who looked for a house made of candy,
01:36and then a world of hurt happened.
01:38Sir, will you introduce yourself and your relationship to H&G?
01:41I'm Jimmy Buffalo, and I own Jimmy Buffalo's Chocolate Factory.
01:44Mm-hmm. Nice to have you here, Mr. Buffalo. And you, sir, are?
01:47I'm a witch.
01:51I'm tired of the bad press we're getting.
01:53You think that witches get bad press?
01:55Are you kidding?
01:56This Hansel and Gretel, sir, is spreading this story that I made this gingerbread house they ate
02:00and then I tried to eat them? You don't think that's bad press?
02:03Excuse me, I did all the work on her house, and I have yet to be paid for it.
02:08What type of work did you do? Was there extra candy to put on outside?
02:11I installed the thick chocolate doors and took care of the soft toffee filling.
02:16So do you think it's bad to lure children to your house and then try to eat them?
02:21Look, I wasn't luring the children to my house.
02:24I just wanted a nice, edible house in case I had guests over.
02:29It's a very nice...
02:29You shut up!
02:30I put double candy cane locks on the insides of all those doors.
02:34He was obviously intent...
02:36Or she...
02:36Yeah, thank you!
02:37Whatever you claim to be...
02:37I am a woman!
02:39I can't believe it!
02:40Wow.
02:40We have someone who would like to say something.
02:50Yes, you in the audience there, I can just make you out from here.
02:52Yeah, um, I know that I'm running through to the witch, because see, the thing is, when
02:56you build that house, too much sugar!
02:57You shouldn't even make me in the house, it's toxic!
02:59Because I go over there, and all of a sudden I lick the door, and bam, look at me!
03:02I'm running like this!
03:03That sucks!
03:04You shouldn't be able to help me, that's crazy!
03:05Look at me, look at me!
03:06I'm running like this!
03:07I'm running like this!
03:07You're running like this!
03:09Look at me!
03:09I'm falling right!
03:10You're crazy!
03:11You're right!
03:12Right!
03:13I'll kill you!
03:14Wow.
03:17Now, how do you respond to that?
03:20I mean, there's a guy totally getting jiggy on the sugar, and there you are with a house
03:26full of candy.
03:27Look!
03:27Look!
03:28Look!
03:29I have built a nice house!
03:30Is it my fault little chunky German children come out and start nibbling?
03:33Do I go over to a house made of wood and start chewing on the sides?
03:36No!
03:37Because I know better!
03:38You don't eat at a bone!
03:41We have someone else in the audience, yes, he's sitting right next to the other person,
03:44yes.
03:45I'm from the Child Welfare Board.
03:47You do not entrap children and bite their toes off!
03:50That's wrong!
03:51That's wrong!
03:52I'm a mother of 15, but look at me though, right?
03:55Let me tell you something!
03:56You don't do that!
03:58I will personally come down there and kick you!
04:00All of it down!
04:01Come on!
04:01Come on!
04:02You're right now!
04:03You're right now!
04:03Come on!
04:03I'm gonna trip you!
04:04Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on!
04:06Come on now, please!
04:09Please, please!
04:09You can't!
04:11Please, please!
04:11Please, please, please, please!
04:12We can't have a final session!
04:18That's all the time we have for today, I think we've learned a lot!
04:20Tune in tomorrow for Beauty and the Beast, Half Men, Half Beast, and the Women Who Love Them!
04:24that was great
04:31100 points each to Hansel and Gretel
04:34wherever you are
04:35the next game is called Song Styles
04:38this is for Wayne, you're going to be assisted by Laura Hall
04:40on the piano, Laura Hall
04:41Wayne is going to make up a song about a woman in the audience
04:46let's see any women in the audience
04:48let's see any women in the audience
04:48let's see if I can pick one
04:52what's your name?
04:53May, and what do you do for a living, May?
04:56a baker
04:56you're a baker, come on down here
04:58nice buns, May, go ahead
05:04May's got some nice buns
05:06okay, so Wayne, you're going to sing a song about May
05:12who works as a baker
05:13and you'll be singing in the style of
05:15a love song from a movie soundtrack
05:23I love you, May
05:34that's what I said
05:36take this as my heart
05:39a piece of unleavened bread
05:42oh, May
05:44people say
05:46I love you, but
05:47why don't you make me
05:49a big love donut
05:52oh, May
05:54they say we don't go well
05:57together
05:58but like bagels and lots
06:02we'll be together forever
06:04oh, May
06:06it's no wonder
06:09that you and I are together
06:12day after day
06:13oh, May
06:14when you're there
06:16and you're playing with that dough
06:18I look at your gray hair
06:20and inside my heart
06:21I love you so
06:23oh, May
06:24baby, baby
06:26why don't you feel my heart beat
06:28you got a little chocolate outside
06:30and in the middle is wheat
06:33oh, May
06:35oh, May
06:37give me your lovin'
06:40I know it's too darn hot
06:42in your oven
06:45oh, May
06:46oh, May
06:47hold me tight tonight
06:50everybody be quiet
06:51because the altitude for bacon bread is right
06:55oh, May
06:56oh, May
06:59my love souffle
07:02oh, May
07:10that was great
07:12yeah
07:13thank you, May
07:14thank you, May
07:17oh, May
07:18oh, May
07:19oh, May
07:19oh, May
07:21oh, May
07:23100 points for Greg
07:24you should have seen him
07:24tapping his toes
07:25and swaying back and forth
07:26that was great
07:27good job, Greg
07:29next game is called
07:31moving people
07:32and in this game
07:33Colin and Ryan
07:34you're going to come up here
07:34you're going to improvise the scene
07:35but you can't move
07:36unless somebody moves them
07:37let's go in the audience
07:38and pick out a couple volunteers
07:39hey
07:40how you doing
07:40what's your name
07:41Kate
07:42come on down here
07:42Kate
07:43and who else
07:44can we pick
07:44thank you
07:47and thank you
07:48that's a big round of applause
07:52for two lovely volunteers
07:54okay
07:55now pretend they're mannequins
07:57pretend they're mannequins
07:59they can't move
07:59unless you put them
08:00so put them in some kind of position
08:01right now
08:02any old position
08:03to all their mannequins
08:03they can't move
08:04unless you move them
08:04so go ahead
08:05and feel free
08:06remember we're on
08:07a Disney-owned channel
08:08all right
08:12that's a good one
08:13that's
08:13oh
08:13okay
08:14that's good to start with
08:15right there
08:15right there
08:16yeah
08:17Disney-owned channel
08:19okay
08:19now
08:20all through the scene
08:21they can't move
08:22unless you move them
08:22so feel free to move them
08:23as much as you want
08:23Colin
08:24you're a motorcycle cop
08:26stopping Ryan
08:27who's a suspicious
08:28looking biker
08:29so go ahead
08:32whenever you're ready
08:32hey you
08:37stop
08:38I'm pointing at you
08:40I see you
08:41just stay there
08:43I'm getting off my motorcycle
08:44it's actually a moped
08:45let me just stand up
08:49I saw that
08:49it's only this big
08:51I sure put on the bike stand
08:52I'm sorry officer
08:54was I doing something wrong
08:55just take a while
08:56here we go
08:57I'm sorry
08:59I have a inner ear problem
09:01I bet you're thinking
09:02I'm a little bit drunk
09:03but I'm not
09:05I'm
09:06I'm just very happy
09:09freeze
09:09show me your license
09:12alright
09:12I'm gonna come a little closer
09:13so I can read it
09:14here it is sir
09:16alright
09:17do you want it or not
09:20I'm just trying to figure out
09:21what to do with my gun
09:22no no
09:22alright
09:23ha
09:24I'll knock that gun
09:25out of your hand
09:26I just dropped your license
09:28alright well
09:29I'm not a good
09:30oh
09:31stop
09:31stop
09:32oh
09:32you're killing my hand
09:34that's the most force
09:35I'm allowed to use
09:35at this point
09:36that's your first warning
09:37get off your bicycle
09:39alright
09:40I will
09:40take your time
09:42I am
09:42it's a very small bike
09:46like yours
09:47alright
09:49I want you to walk along
09:51this white line
09:51that I'm gonna draw
09:52alrighty
09:53that sounds like
09:53no problem whatsoever
09:54I'll just
09:55okay wait
09:58alright
10:01I'll just stay here
10:03just to make sure
10:04your legs are moving
10:05in a regular fashion
10:06am I allowed
10:08to look down
10:09sure
10:10cause it's awful hard
10:11this way
10:12alright
10:16that's good enough
10:17stop
10:17I pass
10:18don't make me do
10:19the finger to the nose
10:20thing cause I know
10:20that by heart
10:21finger to nose
10:22finger to nose
10:23finger to nose
10:23okay wait till I stand up
10:25here let me help you
10:28here let me help you
10:29thanks
10:30please
10:33I'm on duty
10:33shh
10:34don't talk
10:35let's just
10:36share the moment
10:37oh
10:39you're a
10:39sergeant
10:40alright
10:43your heart beating
10:43is irregular
10:44everything about me
10:46is irregular
10:47hold me
10:49tighter
10:52thank you very much
10:58don't go away
10:59we'll be right back
11:00before
11:00Whose Line Is It Anyway
11:01wait after this
11:02hey welcome back to
11:09Whose Line Is It Anyway
11:10the show where
11:11everything is made up
11:11and the points don't matter
11:13I was
11:17don't know how many
11:18points to award
11:18for the last game
11:19which is a shame
11:19cause it's my job
11:21now we come to a game
11:24called props
11:25I'm gonna divide
11:25everybody into two teams
11:26Colin and Greg
11:28come get your props
11:29and
11:30Ryan and Wayne
11:32here's your props
11:33there you go
11:37and
11:37they're gonna go back
11:38and forth
11:38think of as many
11:39interesting things
11:40to do with the props
11:40as they can
11:41I'll buzz them
11:41in between
11:42Colin and Greg
11:43why don't you start
11:44so
11:46did we elect
11:47the new pope yet
11:48no
11:48danger
11:52danger
11:53well Robinson
11:54danger
11:54danger
11:55the saber-toothed
11:59tiger
11:59was one of the most
12:01vicious
12:02of all the prehistoric
12:03carnivores
12:04What is North Dakota?
12:08How do we solve a problem like Maria?
12:15Alright dude, I got you. I got you. Go! Go! Come on! Come on! You better lift it, bro! Lift it! Lift it! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Come on!
12:30It's a little bigger nipple ring than I expected. Yeah.
12:36I think we better get out of here before we find the animal that left that.
12:43Oh no! I'm getting picked!
12:51Yeah, ever since I saw Boogie Nights, you know, and uh...
12:57Snow White! Snow White! There's been a landslide!
13:03I've never been paying attention. I gave you a lot of points.
13:18I was a cute girl in the audience. I wasn't.
13:21Okay. That was great.
13:23Now we go to a game called Party Quirks.
13:25This game, Greg, you're going to be hosting a party and Wayne, Colin and Ryan are going to be the guests.
13:30They each have a strange quirk or identity.
13:32This is the first time they're seeing these cards.
13:34This is where their quirk or identity is written.
13:36And what Greg has to do is go with the quirk stars.
13:38Greg, why don't you come over here and start the party.
13:40And Wayne, Colin and Ryan, you line up over there.
13:41I'll buzz you in with the doorbell.
13:43I'll ring in with the doorbell.
13:44And whenever you're ready, start the party.
13:46That must be the bell.
13:47Hello, Wayne.
13:48Hello, Wayne.
14:13Have you been drinking window cleaner again?
14:15Yeah.
14:16Here, have a canapé.
14:19Hi, Carl.
14:20Fiddle-dee-dee, fiddle-dee-dee.
14:25You need to be kissed once.
14:30I don't know nothing about both of them.
14:33Wayne, have you met my friend?
14:38He thinks he's in the movie.
14:40He thinks he is the movie Gone with the Wind.
14:42He's the movie Gone with the Wind.
14:43He's the movie Gone with the Wind.
14:44He's the movie.
14:45He's the movie.
14:46He's the movie.
14:47He's the movie.
14:48Hi, Rye.
14:49Hi.
14:50I wasn't really invited, but I thought you might like to buy some of these encyclopedias.
14:53Sure.
14:54Come on.
14:55Can I come in?
14:56Yeah.
14:57You need a hand?
15:02No, I'm in.
15:03I'm in.
15:04Hey, I don't believe we've met.
15:05I'm in.
15:06Go.
15:07Go.
15:08Go, go, go, go, go.
15:09Go, go, go, go.
15:10You're going to be.
15:11Have you met Wayne?
15:12Wayne's in a cartoon.
15:16You're very close.
15:17He is a cartoon.
15:18He thinks he's a cartoon man.
15:20What motion is he showing?
15:22What motion?
15:23He's excited.
15:24He sees a foxy chick in a cartoon.
15:26He's in love.
15:28He's in love.
15:29He's in love.
15:30It's so simple how we forget, isn't it?
15:34You old orangutan, you monkey boy, you encyclopedias selling primate of some kind.
15:56I will now give the points in a foreign language.
16:00Yes!
16:06Now we go on to a game called Hoedown.
16:08This is for everybody.
16:10With the help of Laura Hall on the keyboard, Laura Hall.
16:16What I need for the audience is something about modern life that annoys you.
16:21Commercials!
16:22That's a nice broad topic.
16:24So let's hear the commercial Hoedown.
16:30I'm in advertising, you know my name is Rick.
16:38And I am really groovy, cause I am not a brick.
16:42I sell you stuff.
16:44Stuff that you don't need.
16:46Because I have one motivation and that's massive greed.
16:50Why don't you buy that stuff, you baby boomer?
17:02I know you've got lots of cash, you are a big consumer.
17:06Man, oh man, everything from cars to fast foods I sell.
17:09My biggest slogan, yo quiero Taco Bell.
17:14I hate commercials, what a waste of time.
17:28They take up all the program, it really is a crime.
17:32They seem to waste all the time in my precious life.
17:36Thank God there are 60 seconds, then I can make love to my wife.
17:40I buy lots of products when I'm at home alone.
17:52It's really, really easy to order them by phone.
17:56Not to order these things is really kinda hard, but I never worry too much.
18:01I use Colin's credit card.
18:11Don't go away, we come back to find out who the winner is.
18:14They get to do some improv with me.
18:16Stay right where you are.
18:17The more Who's Lines in Anyway will be the right spot.
18:24Hey, welcome back to Who's Lines in Anyway?
18:26It's our winner, Wayne Grady.
18:28Wayne's going to improvise a scene with me, it's called Foreign Film Dubs.
18:36And what we're going to do is we're going to fake a language.
18:38Can anybody shout out a language?
18:39Ancient Egyptians!
18:41What was that? Ancient Egyptians.
18:43That's a good one.
18:44I don't know how to fake Ancient Egyptians, we'll do that one.
18:46Who knows how that's going to work out.
18:48And Ryan's going to translate for me, Greg's going to translate for Wayne.
18:51We're going to act out a movie.
18:53We need a fake movie, an epic sounding title for a movie.
18:56What did you say?
18:57The Amazing Tricycle Adventure.
18:59Okay, The Amazing Tricycle Adventure.
19:01Yes.
19:02Done in Ancient Egyptian.
19:04Egyptian, yes.
19:05Are you ready, sir?
19:07I'm a little teapot, short and stud.
19:14I'm a little teapot, short and stud.
19:21I'm a little teapot.
19:22I'm a little teapot.
19:23I'm a little teapot.
19:24I'm a little teapot.
19:25I'm a little teapot, short and stud.
19:31I'm a little teapot.
19:32I'm a little teapot.
19:33I'm a little teapot, short and stud.
19:38you probably let up.
19:39Just integration.
19:41I'm a little teapot.
19:44I am a little teapot.
19:45I will keep it right.
19:47I am a little teapot.
19:49The festival of ISIS is upon us, and a sacrifice must be made.
19:54I have made this wheeled vehicle so that you may ride at the front of the parade.
19:58Ah.
19:59Thank you so very much.
20:04Quick, get me my robe and my snake-like hat.
20:10You look great.
20:38Many years ago, my father came to this country.
20:41They were different times then.
20:43We built everything from the ground out of stone by slaves who worked many hours during the day.
20:49Boy, I'm hot.
21:01Cleopatra arrives in her barge.
21:02Do you wish to see her?
21:05I cannot speak.
21:06I'm so excited.
21:07Yes, I will see her.
21:08And I hope she's not on her pyramid.
21:10Yes, I will see her.
21:11And I hope she's not on her pyramid.
21:13Thank you very much for watching Who's Lady anyway.
21:14Good night, everybody.
21:15See ya.
21:16Good night, everybody.
21:17See ya.
21:18Good night, everybody.
21:19See ya.
21:20Good night, everybody.
21:21Good night, everybody.
21:22See ya.
21:23Good night, everybody.
21:24Cheers.
21:25Good night, everybody.
21:26Good night, everybody.
21:27Cheers.
21:28I'll see you next time.
21:29And I hope she's not on her pyramid.
21:30Thank you so much for watching Who's Lady anyway.
21:31Good night, everybody.
21:32See ya.