00:00Oh
00:30Oh
01:00Oh
01:30Well, that's new
01:42Okay
01:47You know, I've read about
02:00This kind of thing at the checkout counter
02:02Uh
02:04What the...
02:06Who...
02:08You guys haven't done this much, have you?
02:14What, what, what, what?
02:16What, what, what, what?
02:18What, what, what, what?
02:20Oh, hey, Arthur!
02:22Looky, I'm being abducted by space aliens!
02:26What?
02:28Hey!
02:30Hey!
02:32Hey!
02:34Hey!
02:36Who are you?
02:38What are you doing in my apartment?
02:40Hey!
02:42Hey!
02:44Hey!
02:46Hey!
02:48Hey!
02:52Hey!
02:54Hey!
02:56Hey!
02:58Hey, hey!
03:00so abducted by space aliens huh well let the probing begin
03:13oh you know the part where you examine your specimen
03:21what oh come on whip out those weird instruments of science and probe away
03:30what my elbow you guys don't have a clue do you what what what tick we have a confession to make
03:57hey you speak english well yes i'm the mission's interpreter our language consists of only one
04:05word what exactly but i have trained myself to speak all earth languages except of course esperanto
04:13you could tell that one was going nowhere fast anyway we're not who you think we are we had
04:20to disguise ourselves because we're being followed by intergalactic spies in fact we captured one of
04:26them in your apartment oh cool what what what what what what what you guys are ugly with a capital ug
04:45well tick i'd like to be able to say that on our planet we're considered quite beautiful
04:50but frankly what we're dogs who are you what do you what do you want what have you done with the dick
05:03hey hey hey boy you know these space cookies are great well i'm glad you're enjoying them tick but
05:23that's not why we brought you here we'd like you to do this holographic presentation of our apocalyptic
05:28dilemma oh keen dinner and a show did you ever think about the end of the universe no well let's
05:36give it a thought shall we here's your favorite sandwich a blt it's delicious and now it's gone
05:46here's your favorite planet the earth it's where you keep all your stuff and now it's gone
05:52you're gone and here you are you're just minding your own business and now you're gone oh man that's
06:02the pits
06:05hey
06:06what
06:07hey
06:09what
06:09what
06:11hey hey hey hey hey to understand the end let's go back to the beginning the big bang
06:18according to our theory the big bang was the cosmic event in which all space time matter and energy
06:25was formed this science boring interest fading
06:33the big bang
06:41you don't know what you want from me
06:48what what is that what wait wait wait wait
06:53what what are you talking about don't play dumb with me you are a spy from the hey empire we know
07:07all about your plan to destroy the universe the universe i i don't want to destroy anything
07:14liar even now your entire population is poised at the black hole at the center of this galaxy
07:22ready to insert yet another black hole into it and then
07:26that's what the hayes want they worship nothing just listen to this hay propaganda
07:38hey nothing lasts forever hey nothing is worth fighting for hey yes we have no bananas
07:49wow these guys look just like my sidekick
07:53what the hayes they look like arthur the guy i live with
07:58what what what what what what what what
08:09something wrong oh nothing no problem uh we're um um hey enjoy another space cookie
08:14we'll be right back well i can see you have been well trained at keeping secrets no matter we have
08:21other methods the thought vacuum will suck every memory out of your head leaving you a mindless
08:28vegetable ready ready what oh no oh please i i like my mom
08:34this is real
08:47what what what what what what what
08:58what's in the poor your side eye chicken what what's that a black hole is the strongest
09:08gravitational force in the universe nothing not even light can escape its powerful pull
09:20hello here's that little friend you were talking about
09:23arthur you got abducted too isn't this great yeah we're gonna save the universe it's gonna be boss
09:31arthur um on behalf of our captain i'd like to apologize for for temporarily losing your um
09:41luggage he'd like to present you with these complimentary slippers this pillow and drink coupons
09:47for the duration of the flight oh arthur you lucky dog yeah what what what what what what what what
09:57this is bad our long-range scanners have just detected the hay's most devastating weapon
10:01it's been following us for light years we thought we'd lost it but it's back on our trail well what is
10:05it yeah what is it yeah what is it it's the infinity ball
10:19uh
10:32uh let me get this straight you want us to go into the
10:49the mouth of a black hole confront the entire population of hay and steal or destroy their
10:55doomsday device right that's the idea tick piece of cake you know ever since i got my mind back i've
11:03been doing some thinking if the haze device is operational why haven't they destroyed the universe yet
11:10well in addition to being dangerously deranged nihilists the haze are a chatty ceremonies race
11:15hey hey this is an important event for the haze their leader has been giving his goodbye to
11:23everything speech for 13 years
11:33but our spies inform us that the hay leader is finally reaching the end of his speech
11:36what what what what what what soon he will detonate the big nothing that's bad the infinity ball is
11:47approaching it's within visual scanner range hey we've got those on earth we knock them into little
11:52pockets with sticks really you guys are tough uh-huh and we got higher numbers too
11:59well come on uglies how do we spur this iron space pony on
12:09our race is the most squirrely easily frightened bunch of cowards in the universe centuries ago we
12:15learned to harness our fear and use it as fuel your ship runs on fear wiggy well fill her up boys
12:24that's just it tick now that you're around we're not really that scared
12:28we don't have enough fear oh well here try arthur he's an anxious little dude
12:38tick i don't think this is going to work i don't like this idea at all
12:42look see he's scared already go man go what whatever but what what what infinity ball 10 minutes in
13:00closing all right uh killer bees whoo Loch Ness monster
13:13uh uh girls
13:18okay yeah this will get you the end of the universe
13:25sorry i i mean it's too big i can't get a grip on it oh come on arthur the end of everything
13:44oh
13:56take it easy man it's just a sandwich
14:00arthur's incredible this is the fastest our ship has ever gone
14:03what what but it's not quite fast enough the infinity ball is still gaining on us
14:23infinity ball five minutes in closing oh come on arthur freak out the ticket won't work our fuel
14:34tanks are already full of fear and i've never seen anyone as scared as arthur
14:41besides we're going faster than the speed of light and the infinity ball is still gaining on us
14:45we're going to have to use untested new technology to achieve the speed of lint the speed of
15:00excuse me lint tick the fastest thing in the universe right after you do your laundry
15:06what's the first thing you find in your pockets uh crayons change lip balm lint and how does it get
15:13there uh i don't know i don't know it's that fast prepare to enter lint warp
15:25oh i've never seen so much lint in my life the ship's all can't take any more of this we've got to drop out of lint warp
15:45whoa what a trip
15:58we lost the infinity ball
16:04on the other hand we found the black hole
16:06and there's the hay mothership
16:20why aren't they getting sucked into the black hole with the rest of us they have an anti-gravity force
16:26field lucky ducks
16:27well fire the engines spur this iron space pony on we can't lint warp drained our fuel reserves
16:38oh curveball hook me up
16:57oh no the hay leader is only minutes from finishing his speech he's just acknowledged the decorations
17:04committee and now he's thanking his parents tick are you suited up roger
17:12so what do you think are there
17:16let's just go
17:16well arthur if we don't make it it's been really nice knowing you
17:27you too
17:27what what hey hey hey excuse me hey excuse me babe hey
17:54Hey, hey, hey!
18:02Hey, hey, hey!
18:06Oh, man!
18:13Rats!
18:16Huh?
18:18I got to hold myself together!
18:22Must defy laws of physics!
18:27Fiatik! Fight that black hole!
18:34Arthur! I got it!
18:36Yeah, well, that's the good news.
18:41Yeah, it's that kind of thing, isn't it?
18:46Okay, come on, pal. Take your best shot.
18:52Hey, hey, hey!
18:57Yeah, ha-ha.
18:59And because I had destroyed their most devastating weapon, which turned out to be pretty lame, the entire population began to worship me like unto a god.
19:06Uh-huh. Let me get this straight. Last night you get abducted by aliens. They take you to the center of the galaxy where you get sucked into a black hole.
19:20Right!
19:22Uh-huh. And then you save the universe.
19:24Yep.
19:25And can you prove any of this?
19:26Oh, well, uh, we're all still here, aren't we?
19:30Yeah, so, uh, I guess we owe you one tick.
19:31Yeah, thanks.
19:32Anytime, chums!
19:33Anytime, chums!
19:41Oh, well, uh, we're all still here, aren't we?
19:45Yeah, so, uh, I guess we owe you one tick.
19:49Yeah.
19:50Thanks.
19:51Anytime, chums!
19:52Thank you, chums!
Comments