00:00Sometimes I feel a little stuck like there's too many options and if I choose the wrong one
00:09well my life might just fall apart and I find that I distract myself so I don't even have to
00:16make a choice. My mornings look the same every day. Wake up at 7 do a little bit of exercise
00:29make a yummy breakfast eat an apple and then my favorite part having a cup of coffee. After that
00:38I like to go for a walk where I can think of new ideas and that's when it happens every time I start
00:45to question everything am I making the right decision do I really know what I'm doing how
00:51will all of this come together and my mind starts to race but it wasn't always like this.
00:59For a while I didn't have to make any choices they were made for me.
01:03It's not that I didn't know what I was going to do it's that others made all of my choices
01:16all I had to do was listen until one day I realized I wanted to do something different.
01:24I picked up a camera for the first time in 2018. I had a fascination with images mainly images that
01:35convey an emotion. I quickly realized that I didn't know how to take photos but I went for it. I would
01:41go out every day and just try to capture a photo that meant something to me. I tried so hard for
01:47years to get big jobs and take my photography to the next level but it never happened. Honestly I wanted
01:53to give up I felt like I had made the wrong choice in this pursuit but with every day that passed I
01:59continued showing up. And five years after I picked up a camera for the first time I was asked to shoot
02:04for Grammy award-winning artist Deya. I felt like I wasn't ready for this opportunity mainly because I
02:16always viewed my work and my skills still as a beginner. I had never worked on a set before so
02:22to be thrusted into the lion's den I felt I was out of my depths. But just as I did every day leading up
02:28to it I tried to capture a photo that would convey an emotion. There was something so surprising about
02:34realizing how far I had come simply by showing up every day and trying to learn something new with
02:40each day. Looking back I realized that the fears and doubts that you have when starting something new
02:44don't always go away and sometimes they morph into new fears. But being able to ignore them and press
02:51forward you realize they hold no weight. And that takes us to our next endeavor which didn't go so well.
02:58I've always wanted to create some sort of brand and after a few years of doing photography my friend
03:03Meredith and I decided to create a brand to bring creatives together. It was called Made by Saturday.
03:10The goal was simple. Create a brand that would bring not only our friends together but also
03:15creatives. We had never done anything like this before so we weren't sure how to start. There was
03:20a strange piece in not having any expectations of what it could be. Our main goal? Bring people
03:26together. And that's exactly what we did. We designed shirts and sweaters and hosted our first pop-up
03:32and it went perfectly. Musicians, baristas, and a lot of our friends came. We also sold out of everything
03:38that we designed. From there me and Meredith were eager to get back to the drawing board. And that
03:43is where it all changed. You see after our first pop-up I had put an unrealistic expectation on
03:49myself. The feeling of being successful had polluted my thinking. I didn't want to be viewed anymore as a
03:55failure which led me to play it safe. I found myself disagreeing with Mare on her ideas. I didn't want to
04:02do anything that was a maybe. It had to be perfect. I found that in the beginning stages of doing
04:07anything new you'll be bad. And you need to be okay with that. Because that allows you the freedom
04:13to explore and try new things. The lack of embracing that ultimately led to the end of Made by Saturday.
04:20And experiencing all of that is what allowed me to follow through with endeavor number three.
04:25YouTube. Something that I always wanted to do. Yet at the same time it seemed like an impossible
04:33dream. I was already editing for a YouTuber and I knew how to make videos. But anytime I clicked record
04:40to film myself it seemed like I didn't know what I was doing. There's a harsh reality in starting new
04:46things. First it's exciting. And then that excitement wears off really fast.
04:51You go through a process of uncertainty and fear. And it's easy to connect your identity with what
05:01you're doing. To everyone else it was a cute little hobby. But to me it was something more. It was
05:07something that I had to see through. I had grown tired of starting new things and never finishing
05:12them. I knew that this time it would have to be different. I'd have to give a new level of focus.
05:18And that is where Brick comes in. Brick is a physical device that temporarily removes distracting
05:24apps. But how? First you choose the apps you want to block. And then you Brick your phone. This is
05:29different than the time limit feature on your phone because you can't just add more time. With Brick
05:35if the physical device isn't with you you can't open the app. Which means I can use my phone more as a
05:39tool and less of a distraction. So what are you waiting for? Use the link in the description below to get
05:4410% off for your next purchase. And thank you Brick for sponsoring this video.
05:51Ultimately the pursuit of these three things have told me that you can't just wait around and keep
05:56wondering if you're making the right choice. A mentor of mine used to tell me, instead of hoping
06:01you're doing the right thing, make it the right thing. There is something so simple about that. I don't
06:07think any great inventor or artist started out with 100% confidence in their idea. And even as they
06:13pursued it, they probably encountered a lot of discouragement. I found that within all three of
06:18these pursuits, I had to deal with comparison in the early stages. I compare my day one to someone's
06:24day 1000. And I don't think that's very fair. I also found that I can't hold myself to expectations
06:30I can't control. For example, how people receive my art or my videos, I can only control the quality.
06:37So if there's 100 people like it, or 100,000 people, it doesn't change the quality or the
06:43importance of the thing I did. So maybe using the fact you don't know how it'll all work out as a
06:48reason not to do it, maybe it's the very reason you should do it.
06:53I wanted to film this part because this is the reality of the process. Like you're making
06:58something and you don't think it's great, but you just got to keep moving forward, I guess.
07:04And I feel like we can watch videos like this and get really inspired and like, oh, I'm just going
07:09to go do it. And it negates the reality of the emotions that you actually feel when you embark on
07:18that thing. I, I took footage of me writing. I kid you not, I'm literally writing this right now.
07:29And I just, I like, I just was like, is this, is this even good? Like what? I don't even know.
07:36And I feel like the script so far in the video is good. But now that I'm halfway through or whatever,
07:42I'm just like, what? Yeah. I essentially the intro to my video, like you start and then all of a
07:48sudden you hit something. And then in your mind, you're just like, dude, I don't even know if this
07:55is good. And yeah, it was just really, it was really hard. I feel like I put a lot of pressure
08:01on myself to make this video perfect because my last one did so well. And I didn't want to feel like
08:06I was taking a step back. I wanted to feel like I was progressing. And the whole time while making
08:12it, it was just like, no, the, the voices in my head of like, no, this isn't a good idea. This
08:16is dumb. This is bad. I realized I wanted to talk about that because you, again, you can watch a video
08:20like this and just be inspired to go do something. But that doesn't mean that those voices won't be
08:25there. Having the understanding of like, I'm going to go through these like ebbs and flows,
08:30but if I can just remain consistent through it, the final product will be so worth it. So
08:37I'm, I'm like halfway through the video. I don't feel great about the video, to be honest.
08:44I'm just going to keep making it. And hopefully by the time you're watching this part, you'll have
08:50seen the whole thing and think, dang, that was a good video. And I'm glad he stuck with it. So I said
08:56this in my last video as well, that for everyone that watches this video, only about 20% of people
09:01will make it to this part. Um, and if you are a part of that 20%, leave a comment, letting me know
09:07that you're a part of the 20%, but also what is that? What are those questions and those fears
09:13that keep coming up every time you think about something you want to pursue? And maybe, I don't
09:20know, someone can read the comment and they've gone through that thing. They can, they can tell you
09:24like, Hey, it's that none of that is true and you can make it through. But yeah, I don't know guys. Um,
09:32hopefully by the time I'm done this, the video will be, I'm just rambling. I hope this video was good.
09:40Anyway, love you guys.
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