- 4/26/2025
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00:01Good evening everybody and welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway on tonight's show, all the
00:05patties, Wayne Brady, Sesame Seed Bun, Chip Esten, Secret Sauce, Colin Moffrey, and Expertise,
00:14Ryan Stone!
00:16And everyone else is the Courage, why don't you have some fun?
00:30Thank you very much, welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything's
00:32made up and the points don't matter.
00:34That's right, the points are like the Border Patrol.
00:38I said it and I don't care who knows.
00:42Let's start the show with a game called Superheroes, okay?
00:45Come on up here, it's started by the Superheroes.
00:47Colin, you're going to start the game and then they're going to like the Superheroes and
00:50they're going to name each other as they come in, try to screw each other up.
00:53What we need for the audience is the name of an unlikely Superhero.
00:56Superheroes, Cyberman!
00:59Presidential Candidate Man!
01:03Presidential Candidate Man, what's the crisis?
01:06No telepropters!
01:07No telepropters, Presidential Candidate Man!
01:10What are we going to do?
01:20I will cut taxes.
01:26Holy vote!
01:34There's no telepropters left anywhere in the world!
01:43Sorry, I'm late.
01:43I couldn't get past the security guys.
01:45Thank God you're here, toddler doing everything for the first time, boy.
01:49There's no telepropters!
02:05There's no telepropters!
02:05I got here as quick as I could.
02:20Oh, the mosh pit kid!
02:28What's up?
02:28Hey!
02:32Sorry, I'm late.
02:32Oh, thank God you're here.
02:35I can't control his stallion, man.
02:36Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
03:00Yeah!
03:01Yeah!
03:03Here.
03:03Here.
03:04Use these TV sets.
03:05They'll double the telephones and
03:06Oh, damn, I really needed his vote.
03:36That one kind of backfired on you, didn't, Colin?
03:44Thought he had him until he sucked on your nipple.
03:48Let's move on with the game called, and sound effects is called, Ryan and Colin.
03:51Ryan and Colin.
04:00Hello, what's your name?
04:02Melissa.
04:02Melissa, come on down here, Melissa, say hi to the guys.
04:07This is Melissa.
04:09Is that your friend in the red laughing at you?
04:11Yeah.
04:12What's your name, friend in the red?
04:13What's your name, Trish?
04:14Come on down here, Trish.
04:18This is Melissa and Trish.
04:21Go ahead, someone else.
04:21Go on down there, right by my desk.
04:27This is Melissa, and this is Trish.
04:29There's your microphones.
04:30What's going to happen, this game is called sound effects, so these guys are going to do
04:33a scene for us.
04:34Melissa, you're going to do the sound effects for Colin, and Trish, you're going to do sound
04:40effects for Ryan.
04:41And the scene is, ship's captain Ryan and his new bride, Colin, are getting romantic in
04:50their cabin on the Titanic, moments before it hits the iceberg.
04:56And you guys are doing the sound effects.
04:57Take it away, guys.
04:59A little champagne?
05:00Well, thank you, dear.
05:03It's a little flat.
05:06Oh, there, it's a delayed fizz.
05:09Why don't I just open the porthole for a little air?
05:14All right.
05:16Oh, it's already open.
05:22Cheers.
05:24Being here with you is a dream for me.
05:29Oh, darling, who could ask for anything more than being on the Titanic with the captain
05:33of the ship?
05:34Oh, it's so lovely.
05:35We should be hearing the sound any moment of the 12 o'clock horn.
05:38Oh, they're so beautiful.
05:58Honey, there seems to be a big thing of ice out there.
06:02Ice?
06:03Yeah.
06:03Well, that can't be right.
06:04Oh, my God, we're going to hit it.
06:06Hang on.
06:08Everyone aboard is screaming.
06:13We're about to hit it.
06:16Boy, I mean, we're just...
06:19No, we're going to hit it.
06:21Here comes.
06:22Oh, this is going to be a big bang.
06:33That's all.
06:34We hit it, and I think we blew a tire.
06:37Quick.
06:38We've got to get out of here.
06:39Quick, down the hall to follow me.
06:44Boy, the echo in this stairwell is screaming.
06:50Rats!
06:51Rats!
06:55Oh, my God, everyone's getting off the ship.
07:02The band's still here.
07:03What's that song they're playing?
07:08Apparently, it's the sound of silence.
07:15We're never going to get off this ship alive.
07:16I want you to have this.
07:18A piccolo?
07:19Yes.
07:19I thought the rats might follow you and we'll be able to float away on it.
07:27But that's not going to work.
07:28Help me lower the lifeboat.
07:29My corset is a little rusty.
07:36Okay, it's in the water.
07:37I heard it splash.
07:39It takes a while for it to get up here.
07:41It's a big ship.
07:43There it goes floating away.
07:44I'm going to have to jump in the water and swim for the boat.
07:46I'll jump in the water.
07:47It's freezing.
07:48I'll bring the horn.
07:48Let everybody know you're coming.
07:50Ding!
07:50Ding!
07:55Sorry.
07:56Thank you very much for it.
08:05Thank you very much.
08:06Thank you very much.
08:08Thanks.
08:17Hey, do you guys have kids?
08:19No, they won't make fun of you much.
08:20Don't worry about it.
08:22Remember when Mom was on that show?
08:24Duh.
08:26Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed.
08:29I can't even go to school now.
08:34As Melissa was heading back, she goes,
08:36Wow, that's really hard to do.
08:39That's why we take unsuspecting people from the audience
08:41and make them do it.
08:44Next game is called Three at a Broadway Star.
08:46This is for Wayne, Chip, and Colin
08:47coming up here with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
08:50Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
08:56What's your name?
09:00What?
09:01Allie.
09:01Allie, come over here.
09:02Allie.
09:03Say hi to the guys.
09:06Nice.
09:07Can you have a seat?
09:11Hello, Allie.
09:12Nice to meet you.
09:13Allie, say hi to Allie.
09:19Say hi to Allie.
09:20Allie, these guys are going to sing a Broadway love song to you,
09:23making up one word at a time.
09:24Now, what I need from the audience is to complete this sentence,
09:27you've got a beautiful blank.
09:28Bald spot.
09:29Bald spot.
09:31You've got a beautiful bald spot.
09:34One word at a time.
09:35Take it away.
09:36Laura and Linda.
09:36You've got a beautiful bald spot.
09:51I think it's so divine.
09:56When I look into it, I can't see anything.
10:08Yowza!
10:11Shining as a bald penny.
10:18Brilliant as a professor.
10:23My bald spot isn't like yours.
10:32Your bald spot can reflect lasers.
10:43Right in my personal direction.
10:49When your bald spot glimmers at my eye,
10:58I blink once, then blink twice.
11:04Because your bald spots are nice.
11:13You'll be right back.
11:24We'll be right back tomorrow.
11:25Who's Liners in Anyway?
11:26Don't go away.
11:31Welcome back to Who's Liners in Anyway?
11:32And we'd especially like to welcome our newer viewers
11:37who've recently discovered that Friends is getting just a little bit tired.
11:46Let's go on.
11:47Oh, this is a game.
11:48Actually, you know, we have a game called Who's Liners in Who's Liners.
11:50This is for Colin and Ryan.
11:51Come and get your lines.
11:52Ryan?
11:52Colin, what we do is we ask the audience to write down random lines.
12:00They're going to do a scene.
12:01And during the scene, they have to insert the lines, which they've never seen before.
12:04They're just shoving them in their pocket here, into the scene.
12:07The scene is, with the Philistine army approaching,
12:09Samson, Colin,
12:14Not so fast,
12:18is furious with Delilah, Ryan,
12:20For cutting off his hair.
12:22For cutting off his hair, yeah.
12:29You know, I just wanted a little off the top.
12:32I needed extensions.
12:34The Philistines are coming.
12:35The Philistines are coming,
12:36and now all my strength is gone.
12:38Thank you, thank you.
12:39Samson, you don't need hair to be strong.
12:41Look at the muscles on your body.
12:43Why, when you walk down the street, people,
12:45there's Samson.
12:46Hold me close and call me Ginger.
12:50Ginger, Ginger, Ginger.
12:51Oh, you know how much I love that.
12:53Oh, you smell like paprika.
12:57I don't know what to do.
13:00Aren't you hot in that wetsuit?
13:02No.
13:03You're not?
13:03No, not at all.
13:04It's really distracting me.
13:05It's the only way I'll let you hug me.
13:07You know, I don't think this relationship's going anywhere.
13:10I'm going to go out there and fight the Philistines,
13:12shorn of my hair, the secret of my power.
13:15You can't do that, Samson.
13:17What?
13:18I gave your hair to someone else.
13:22Who?
13:24Jim.
13:24Jim.
13:26Jim the Tinker.
13:27That's right.
13:28And now he's the strongest Tinker in the land.
13:31He's a mighty Tinker.
13:32A big Tinker.
13:33Powerful Tinker.
13:33Who needs to be a big Tinker?
13:35He's a Tinker.
13:37You Tinker, you don't Tinker.
13:38Why does everything you say sound sexual?
13:41It's just the way I do things.
13:45Samson, it hasn't worked for us for years.
13:48For the last two years, I've just wanted to look you in the eye and say,
13:52boy, I'm still hammered from last night.
13:54All we do is get drunk and play stupid games.
14:00I'm so...
14:00I'm going to push these pillars.
14:03First, I'll fluff the pillars.
14:11Delilah.
14:14I thought you said Jim had my hair.
14:15I kept some for myself.
14:17So now you can fight the Philistines.
14:19I could if I wanted to, but I don't feel like it today.
14:22Well, perhaps I can change your mind with those little words that I know...
14:27Stop it.
14:28Just make you butter and say it to me.
14:29Yes, I will.
14:31I'm going to.
14:32Hop on, and I'll show you what this baby can do.
14:34All right.
14:36Stay cold.
14:37Stay cold.
14:40Man.
14:46If I had a nickel for every time I heard that.
14:49You'd have a dime.
14:50And have a dime.
14:54So, a thousand times for each of you.
14:56And moving on to Irish drinking song.
15:00This is a great day.
15:01Laura Hall in the panel.
15:03Thank you, Laura Hall.
15:07Somebody from this middle section,
15:09tell me a bad thing that happened to you on a date.
15:12What?
15:14Got mugged.
15:15Okay, that's good.
15:15Got mugged.
15:16Got mugged?
15:16Yeah.
15:18Got mugged?
15:18Let's do the Got mugged Irish drinking song.
15:22Take it away, Laura Hall.
15:23I took my lass on a date.
15:31We went out for the night.
15:33As we hit the parking lot,
15:35I got into a fight.
15:37Stufful, he took my wallet
15:39and ran away so fast.
15:41I started crying.
15:43A stone I passed.
15:44I screamed just like a lassie.
15:53I ran right after him.
15:55I jumped into my car.
15:57The mugger's name was Tim.
15:59I put up on my siren.
16:00And it roared out loud.
16:02He came to a stop and beat me in front of a crowd.
16:05Oh, hidey, hidey, hidey, hidey, hidey, hidey, hidey, hidey, hidey.
16:10I decided to take action.
16:11I hit him with a club.
16:13I hit him where the sun don't shine.
16:15He said, hey, watch it, Bob.
16:17And then he ran away from me.
16:19I followed him.
16:20I became a hero.
16:22And my name is Tim.
16:24Oh, hidey, hidey, hidey, hidey, hidey, hidey, hidey, hidey.
16:27I still hear from him.
16:30From often.
16:31He writes a little letter.
16:33It's as soft as cotton.
16:35Someday I'll write back.
16:37He is my best friend.
16:38And now we both are pen pals.
16:40He put my stone back in my head.
16:48He put my stone back in.
17:06He put my stone back in my end hole.
17:11Now that is a good friend.
17:15Is this yours?
17:16That was smooth.
17:17Try doing that.
17:18Oh, Porter?
17:20Oh.
17:23All right.
17:26Welcome back to Who Bites and Anyway.
17:32Tonight's winner, William Braley.
17:33William Braley is the winner tonight.
17:37So, Ryan and Colin and I are going to do a game for you called Helping Hands.
17:41And Ryan and I are going to act on a scene.
17:42But Ryan can't use his hands.
17:44Colin is going to be the hands for him.
17:46Just like the game he used to play at camp.
17:48And, uh, Wayne, what's our scene?
17:50Ryan is an angry football coach trying to inspire his quarterback, Drew, at halftime.
17:57Yeah, coach, you came as soon as I could.
17:58Sound familiar, Kerry?
17:59Quack, quack, quack.
18:00You were throwing ducks out there.
18:02Coach, I didn't know what to do, man.
18:04I told you what to do, Kerry.
18:06You listen to every play I design and do not run your own plays.
18:09Now, what did I tell you to run?
18:10Let me show you on the board again.
18:12Let me show you on the board.
18:14These, this, I won't show you on the board.
18:16I'll show you with action figures.
18:18This is you.
18:19These are not actual size, Kerry.
18:22This is you throwing the ball.
18:23Look, you're getting hit, hit, hit, hit, hit all the time.
18:26Hey, you better watch your tone.
18:27Remember what happened to Bobby Knight?
18:29I'm sorry.
18:30I'll try to keep my tone blue.
18:33Now, let me design a play here on the board for you for the next half.
18:36Okay.
18:36All right, let me grab a pen.
18:37That's the best way to do it.
18:38All right.
18:38All right, now, this is you, Kerry.
18:40This is you.
18:41Now, I want you to run around like this.
18:43Go over here like that.
18:44Come through the middle.
18:45Go into the defensive end, throw into the backfield, and run for a touchdown.
18:48I can't make it any clearer than that.
18:55All right, folks.
18:56I don't know.
18:57You don't need to be careful.
18:58You get me out of the piece of stuff.
18:59I mean, I'm kind of tired.
19:00That's what it is.
19:00I'm just running out of energy.
19:01Tired?
19:02Yeah.
19:02But you need, Kerry, some protein.
19:04Let's get some bananas here.
19:05That's what you need.
19:05Peel that one, Kerry.
19:06I'll peel it for you.
19:08Here we go.
19:09You eat half, and I'll eat half.
19:12Okay, I'll eat it later.
19:13Uh-oh.
19:21Hey, Coach.
19:22Why don't you show me your...
19:23What?
19:24What did you say?
19:26What?
19:26I don't see your impression on the chair.
19:28Kerry.
19:32Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.
19:36Sorry.
19:36Sorry, Coach.
19:37Now, look.
19:37I'm going to grab this microphone.
19:38I'm going to be cheering you on out there.
19:40I'm going to go...
19:40I'm going to...
19:41Kerry, hit him in the head.
19:42Hit him in the knee.
19:42Hit him in the eye so he can't see.
19:43I'll be cheering you on for the whole thing.
19:48What other things can I eat for protein and energy and stuff?
19:51Oranges are good, Kerry.
19:52Yeah?
19:53Oranges are very good.
19:53They've got a lot of vitamin C on there.
19:55They'll get you going.
19:56Watch this.
19:56But they're good for you.
20:02Have one.
20:02No, no, thanks.
20:03I can't even hold it on.
20:06So wait till they're right.
20:13Now, here's another thing I don't get.
20:15My mouth guard kept on falling off the whole time I was out there.
20:18I don't know what to do about it.
20:18Don't use a mouth guard.
20:19Use an orange.
20:22Push.
20:22Push.
20:26You know, Kerry.
20:31Hey, what's that?
20:33What's that?
20:34Well, it's a thermos, Kerry.
20:35It's full of water.
20:36Is it really?
20:36What do you do with it?
20:37Well, you take a drink.
20:49Let's get back to what we've got.
20:50There it is.
20:51Let's get back to what we've got.
20:52Tonight we're going to have everybody read the credits for you.
21:00And I want you guys to read the credits as toddlers who have just learned your first words.
21:05Good night, everybody.
21:06Slavison.
21:27Slavison.
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