- 4/28/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Who's Blind Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, it's a seat takin' Brad Sherwood.
00:08You come here often. Wayne Brady.
00:11I'll bet you say that to all the guys.
00:13Colin Mochrie. And, I'm sorry, I thought you were a woman.
00:17Ryan Stiles.
00:19I'm your host, Sha'Carri. Come on down, let's have some fun.
00:21Who's Blind Is It Anyway?
00:27Hello.
00:29Hello, everybody, how you doing?
00:30Welcome to Who's Blind Is It Anyway?
00:32The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:34That's right, the points are like a bicycle riding fish to a lesbian.
00:40What?
00:42Oh!
00:43Glad you got that.
00:44Oh, yeah.
00:47Now, let's start out with a game called
00:50Weird Newscasters.
00:51This is for everybody.
00:53Brad, you're the anchor of a news show.
00:57Brad, you're the anchor of a news show.
00:59Colin, you're the co-anchor.
01:01You panic over the slightest thing.
01:03Wayne, you're doing the sports.
01:05You're Spanish TV's Crocodile Hunter.
01:09Yes, I am.
01:11Yes.
01:12Ryan, you're doing the weather.
01:14And you're a mercenary.
01:16And you're on a mission to replace everyone else on the show.
01:20I'm a mercenary, and I'm going to replace everybody else on the show.
01:24Right.
01:25That's what you want to do.
01:26That's your mission.
01:27So am I a missionary or am I a mercenary?
01:31You're a mercenary who likes missionary.
01:35So whenever you hear the music, Brad, take it away.
01:38Let's go to the news.
01:39Welcome to the 6 p.m. news.
01:45I'm Skip Shapley.
01:46Tonight's biggest story?
01:48Financial analysts have figured out a way to take out a second mortgage on your home
01:51so that you can afford a full tank of gas.
01:55And now, with the business desk, please welcome Baldy Flapscalf.
01:59What do you mean, Baldy?
02:08Oh, my God!
02:10When did that happen?
02:17Turn the camera away.
02:21Nope.
02:22What are you doing?
02:22Thanks for that illuminating report, Baldy.
02:32Let's find out about sports.
02:34Let's go over to the sports desk with Ricardo Balbon Montez de la Vázquez Azaluca.
02:39Let's go over to the sports desk.
03:09Let's go over to the kids.
03:11Let's go over to the Polymer Mentor.
03:36One red, one here.
03:38Oh, Jesus, it's going to be better.
03:44Thank you, Ricardo.
03:46Well, I hope that's covered under medical insurance.
03:50Let's find out about the weather.
03:53Let's go over to the weather desk with Misty Showers.
03:55Misty?
03:57Well, thank you.
03:58As you can see, we have a hot, hot, hot weekend in store here.
04:02I've made us all some lemonade.
04:04It's going to be so hot.
04:06We've got, uh, we've got some clouds moving in over the weekend.
04:22Some clouds moving, ting, over the weekend.
04:26Should be here probably around Thursday.
04:28And, of course, uh, with the warm weather here, always a good chance for you to enjoy
04:40your favorite meal, whether it be, uh, pizza, or as I enjoy always having pizza.
04:46Pizza!
04:48Oh.
05:18Oh, man.
05:40I haven't seen Colin run so fast since Free Liquor Day in Toronto.
05:46Good job, man.
05:47I almost made us forget all about Wayne spitting up.
05:53I didn't forget.
05:59Now let's go into a game called Award Shows.
06:01For everybody, Brad and Wayne are going to be presenters on an award show.
06:04And you other two go into the audience there.
06:06However, this is not an entertainment award show, thank God.
06:16It's an award show for hillbillies.
06:21So pretend it's the Golden Globes.
06:24An award show for hillbillies.
06:27Award show for hillbillies.
06:28Go ahead.
06:28Take it away.
06:29Oh, it's so good to be here.
06:35It's nice to see you again, Larry.
06:37It's great to see you as well, Todd.
06:40You know, we wouldn't have banjos, bluegrass, moonshine, or inbreeding if it weren't for hillbillies
06:50and all the beautiful Appalachian Mountains, huh?
06:53Exactly.
06:54So we'd like to welcome everyone to the Divine Swine Awards tonight.
06:58We shall be handing out awards for the best in hillbillery.
07:02Yes, right.
07:04Who's going to take home the Golden Jug tonight, huh?
07:06Speaking of Golden Jug, I met your new wife.
07:13Congratulations.
07:14Thank you very much.
07:16Yee-haw.
07:20Well, we should get on to the awards now.
07:23We should.
07:24Our category is Most Outstanding Hillbilly.
07:28The first, Emmett and Joaniece Willebaker from Alamahachie-Hoochie, Tennessee, for Grab That Swine.
07:39And Luella and Steffella Peterson from Chattahoochie Skunk Lick Falls for Don't Drink That, It'll Make You Go Blind.
07:51And finally, Bo Cephas and Mo Cephas Bones from Pigswallet, Kentucky, for So What If We Sleep in the Same Bunk Bed.
08:10The winner?
08:12And the winner is Bo Cephas and Mo Cephas Bones for No Way If We Sleep in the Same Bunk Bed.
08:18Bo Cephas Bones for No Way If We Sleep in the Same Bunk Bed.
08:40to first thank my acting coach, Ned Beatty, for all the marvelous work. And I'd like to
08:52thank the mother of my baby, my mother. Hey, I ain't judging you.
09:02And, of course, we couldn't have got this far without help from the man upstairs, old
09:13man Johnson. And the Lord Almighty for making us and others like us. And putting us all in
09:26the same vicinity. We'll be right back. We'll be right back with more Who's Line Is It Anyway?
09:42Welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway? Hey, aren't you glad that everybody doesn't
09:52hawk when they're horny? Let's keep the show going with a game called If You Know What
09:58It Means, for Brad, Colin, and Ryan. I love this game. It's also a good fun party game
10:05when you're out drinking and you can play this game. If you want people to leave. Yeah, in
10:09this game, the performers are acting out a scene, but they must use as many obscure euphemisms
10:15and cliches related to the setting as possible. The scene is three track and field athletes
10:22talk in the locker room after a big meet and game is called If You Know What It Means. Take
10:26it away.
10:28Whew. So, Ralph, did you see that female pole velter? I'd like to pass her the baton, if
10:36you know what I mean. I was too busy waxing my javelin, if you know what I mean. I'm just
10:43glad I got time to air out my shot puts, if you know what I mean. I got a score of eight
10:48question, judge, if you know what I mean. Whew. Whew.
10:56So, I saw you were not quite running in your lane today, if you know what I mean.
11:01I like to hop, skip, and jump occasionally, if you know what I mean.
11:05Hey.
11:06I know what you mean.
11:11Do you know what I mean?
11:12Yeah.
11:13I didn't want to say it.
11:14Yeah.
11:15I don't want to have to do any moves on your palmer horse, if you know what I'm saying.
11:19Hey, come on, come on. Don't make me chalk my hands, if you know what I mean.
11:23I know what you both mean, but I'd like to tumble on somebody's mat, if you know what
11:33I'm saying. I'll give that a nine, if you know what I mean.
11:37I've got a nine, if you know what I mean.
11:47I've been having trouble. I've been disqualified for an early start, if you know what I mean.
11:58Well, why don't you just clean and jerk, if you know what I mean.
12:03Nothing better than a 200-pound , if you know what I mean.
12:07That's never going to make it to air, if you know what I mean.
12:28That is a weightlifting.
12:43Of course it is.
12:45This show brought to you by the Church of Latter-day Saints.
12:48Yeah.
12:49Hey, kids, how come you're not in bed right now?
12:54This is the last time you get to watch that show.
12:58Yeah, yeah.
12:59If you know what I mean.
13:00Yeah.
13:02Well, 200 pounds for each of you, and we'll move on to a game called Greatest Hits.
13:15This is for everybody, with Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, Sissy Laura.
13:19Literally, everybody on the show is going to be playing this one for you.
13:24What's going to happen is, Ryan and Colin are going to be like TV pitchmen,
13:27talking about a compilation album they're trying to sell,
13:30and Brad and Wayne are going to have to try to sing them,
13:32and make up songs that these guys give them titles to.
13:34What I need from the audience is a suggestion of what you wanted to be when you grew up.
13:39Traveling Salesman.
13:43I like the woman right there.
13:44Traveling Salesman.
13:45Traveling Salesman.
13:46The name of your album is Songs of the Traveling Salesman.
13:49Take it away.
13:50Knock, knock, knock.
13:51Who's there?
13:52Traveling Salesman.
13:53Traveling Salesman who?
13:58Traveling Salesman.
13:59They travel the country far and wide to bring products to your door.
14:02That's pretty handy, don't you think, Cole?
14:04It certainly is, Rye.
14:05I'm not sure how popular it is anymore.
14:07Me neither.
14:10But we have over 18,000 songs celebrating the Traveling Salesman.
14:15On one CD.
14:17Very, very short songs.
14:19And you know, Colin.
14:20What, Ryan?
14:21We've all heard of yellow snow.
14:24But have you ever heard of bluegrass?
14:26What?
14:27One of my favorite song styles of all, Colin.
14:30And I think one of my favorite bluegrass tunes has to be,
14:33Is Your Husband Home?
14:35Yee-haw!
14:37Well, let me tell you, knock on the door.
14:42Oh, my goodness.
14:43Hey, what's more?
14:44Are you alone?
14:45Is your husband home?
14:46Yee-haw!
14:47Let's get naked.
14:48Let's go to bed.
14:49Yes, that's indeed what I said.
14:51Hey there, is your husband home?
14:53Because you see, it never fails.
14:58I always meet women when I'm doing my cello.
15:01So open your doors and let me in.
15:03And let's all have a little sense.
15:05Tell me, is your husband home?
15:09Woo!
15:09Woo!
15:13Wow.
15:14Wow, wow.
15:15You know, no matter how often you say wow,
15:17when you say it backwards, it's still wow.
15:22You know, Colin.
15:23What, Ryan?
15:24When I was a small boy growing up in the ghettos of Saskatchewan,
15:27we used to listen to blues on a regular basis.
15:31What is it with you in the color blue?
15:33Woo!
15:39Colin, blues and bluegrass are two different things.
15:43And if you don't believe me, listen to this blues hit,
15:46Brushes, Encyclopedias, and Vacuum Cleaners.
15:55I know we're not in between us.
15:57Brushes, encyclopedias, and vacuum cleaners.
16:01Those are the things that I'm going to sell.
16:04So open up your door and let me show so well.
16:08I am not a rude or obscene.
16:10I'm selling brush, encyclopedias, and vacuum cleaners.
16:14Nah, I sell Britannicas, and I sell Hoovers.
16:17And I sell brushes known as hair removers.
16:20I sell them from St. Louis.
16:22I sell it to Taiwan.
16:24And then if you want, you can buy it, get another one.
16:27Why?
16:28Why?
16:29Because I sell encyclopedias, brushes, and cleaners.
16:33Cleaners, yeah.
16:35Yeah!
16:38Yeah!
16:39Yeah!
16:47Fun fact!
16:48You know, Colin?
16:49Yes, Brian?
16:50I'm sorry I said fun fact that hurts me deep deep in my stomach heart no in my
16:57heart something you had soul yes in my soul hey wait a minute soul is also a
17:03musical style yes sometimes blue
17:11I'll talk to you anyway you can keep your blue blue blue blue blue I want my who
17:23who who who who that's right that classic rock strains of the who it's not a
17:29question oh the bad I see all the who yeah who oh and who can forget that who
17:34that's a Canadian band their difference who and guess who are different yes who
17:39it's just yes oh don't do that yes who don't do that
17:43who anyway who can forget the great hit of the who doorbell wizard
18:01people knocking at your door
18:05say the same crap you sold me for from a little tiny brush to a stinky lizard talking about your doorbell wizard
18:19you let me inside the door
18:21yeah yeah let me inside the door
18:23I'm not gonna keep digging anymore
18:25not gonna keep on digging no more
18:27don't you know I have aspired
18:29da da da have aspired
18:31I'm a dumbbell wizard and I can't retire
18:33yeah yeah
18:35a little bit of that
18:36dumbbell wizard
18:37dumbbell wizard
18:39dumbbell wizard
18:41ding-a-dee ding-a-dee ding-a-dee
18:42dumbbell wizard
18:43do
18:53do
18:56welcome back to whose life is it everywhere next winner colin mockery
19:07We're going to do a game for you, the rest of us, it's called Props.
19:14I need the prop for me and Ryan.
19:16Okay, thank you.
19:18You guys get your props?
19:21And what happens is we have to go back and forth
19:24and think of as many things as we can using these props,
19:27starting with Brad and Wayne.
19:30Look, I want to open the Giants' next beer.
19:34Hidey-ho, neighbor.
19:39Danger, Will Robinson, danger.
19:41William! William!
19:45Big Bird and the wife passed out.
20:01Guess which NSYNC member I am.
20:05And I see Billy and Tommy and Steve.
20:10Rubber, Rubber, Rubber, Boo!
20:13Itsy-Bitsy spider in my ass!
20:15Ah!
20:18Oh, look, it's the elephant's restroom.
20:20Oh.
20:23Hey, uh, hey, honey, can you pop a zit?
20:26What?
20:29Put another quarter in.
20:30Click!
20:34And tonight's winner, Callum Mockery, ladies and gentlemen.
20:36Callum Mockery.
20:38Okay.
20:39Thank you very much.
20:40We'll be right back to Who's Line?
20:41We'll do this.
20:42Don't go away.
20:46Welcome back to Who's Line?
20:47Anyway, tonight I'm gonna have Ryan read the credits for you.
20:51I want you to read the credits for us,
20:52and I want you to read the credits as a mercenary
20:54taking people out.
20:55Thanks for watching.
20:56We'll see you next time.
20:57Good night.
20:58All right.
21:01Uh, where's Dan Patterson?
21:02Oh, there he is.
21:04Bye.
21:05Oh, I'm sorry.
21:06I didn't mean to do that.
21:07Tom Parks is gonna live.
21:08Ruth Holmes might go.
21:09Drew Terry's definitely gonna die.
21:10I'm taking Terry here.
21:12Steven Blubbs, the associate director.
21:18Jamie Silverstein.
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