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Would you eat Fester’s Bacon Steak?
Beasley Digital
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4/17/2025
Would you eat Fester’s Bacon Steak?
Category
😹
Fun
Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
Hey, Fester, I got some bad news for you.
00:03
Did Krispy Kreme cancel their Donut a Day promotion?
00:05
Because I'm not getting vaccine now.
00:07
Hey, folks, Krispy Kreme announced that if you have the vaccine card that you've been vaccinated,
00:14
if you go to Krispy Kreme, every day through the end of this year, you can get a free donut.
00:19
If you show them your vaccination card.
00:21
282 days left in the year, people.
00:23
Yeah, Fester went to that calendar that shows you how many days are left in the year.
00:26
And Fester asked me, hey, can I borrow your card?
00:29
Until Fester gets vaccinated, until he's eligible,
00:32
Fester wants to borrow my vaccination card so he can walk into Krispy Kreme to get his free donut.
00:37
I'm not giving you my card.
00:38
Dude, it might be two weeks before I'm eligible to be vaccinated.
00:41
That's over a dozen donuts, man.
00:43
What if every person comes in every day?
00:44
How much money is Krispy Kreme?
00:46
Krispy Kreme could go out of business because of this.
00:47
No, at the end of the day, the donuts have like about a half a cent worth of dough in them.
00:52
Okay.
00:52
Thanks for the real answer.
00:53
They survived the real pandemic, but it's their vaccine promotion.
00:57
It's going to save the whole operation.
00:59
You know, 2020 was a tough year, but 2021, all that free crap.
01:02
I know.
01:03
The bad news I have for you, Fester, is processed meat greatly increases chances of having dementia.
01:10
Huh?
01:11
What?
01:12
Bacon, sausage.
01:13
This is you, man.
01:14
That's all you eat is bacon and sausage.
01:17
Well, bacon is its own food group and should be treated that way.
01:20
On the food pyramid, it should be right at the bottom.
01:23
Every foundation of a good diet should be bacon.
01:25
However, however, like does this include like salami and hams?
01:29
Have you invented the bacon steak yet?
01:30
All that processed meat, all that stuff, that cured processed meat, all the nitrites and sodium and all that.
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