Hologram Laptop Guy

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a Ronnie James Dio hologram tour that is supposed to be hitting the road soon and they imagine what it would be like for the guy who runs the show.

Transcript

00:00Whitney Houston is going back on tour in hologram form oh god they gave up on this

00:10hologram no they're never gonna they did for a while right and now it's back full steam it's

00:16now officially in the works there's also a new album that'll come out right when this tour

00:22apparently happens previously unreleased Whitney Houston material it is um insane

00:29because yeah I guess there was a time she was America's sweetheart but stuff soured so bad by

00:37the end and just the way the crack stuff yeah you know the crack stuff all the crack stuff

00:42it took a toll on her America's sweetheart image so they're doing a Ronnie James Dio hologram tour

00:50this spring I wonder how much the tickets are going for that come on it's kicking off this month

00:58Dio okay so let's go to the website here all right so there's tickets available in every

01:04place Fort Myers you're gonna be the first stop on this hologram tour May 31st let's go to the

01:10ticket site here to get some tickets see what they're costing us I think we could turn off

01:14Whitney Houston I know I feel like I'm shopping yeah okay so I didn't mind it

01:20he wanted to hear the whole song okay so where's the stage let's go let's go in the middle so 60

01:27bucks come on 59.77 plus 11.50 per ticket fee I'll be honest though okay so as crazy as this all seems

01:36and like oh my god they're how you do this it's just me with a laptop it's me with a laptop flying

01:43to these cities like I'm the whole Ronnie James Dio show do you think you'd have the same kind of

01:50like crazy rock star demands and attitude yeah like uh excuse me but uh Ronnie needs only green

01:58M&Ms oh he needs socks he wants all sorts of different pairs of socks are you the guy that's

02:03doing a cartoon Ronnie there I am yes it's a hologram it's a holographic Ronnie James Dio please

02:10computer there what are you what are you babbling about with the M&Ms you need something I need uh

02:1414 bottles of Tito's vodka I think they got you the voucher for the meal down in the cafeteria I

02:21don't know about this I can't be running around I got these things you know make this cartoon of

02:25yours work I gotta get up there I gotta do the light stuff I'm not doing anything I brought the

02:30laptop though this has all the software that Ronnie G Ronnie James Dio lives here he does not he's a

02:36he's a dead man inside that's a that's a an Apple MacBook you got there that's not Ronnie James

02:42Dio high powered I bought it on eBay I mean I could check the vending machines for these M&Ms for

02:48you I'll get you up I'm not going through and getting the green ones out of there that's it

02:51that's fine I'll just take M&Ms then that's a little excessive throw some bags of M&Ms

02:55here you go the cartoon nerd he's uh babbling about M&Ms anybody anybody gonna do something

03:03about he's yelling at me I need some socks or I'm not putting I'm not gonna hit the space bar

03:07I am not gonna hit the space bar and start this thing I didn't wear socks I won't do it I need

03:13socks he's a wild little man I know that other bands have demanded socks and I am demanding socks

03:19yeah this cartoon fella he's uh he's full of piss and vinegar this guy I I can't work with him

03:25if I don't get nine pairs of socks right now this isn't happening listen to him it's crazy

03:31we sold 12 tickets to think guys talking like he's uh Elton John coming here or something

03:36how many tickets did you sell 12 98 profit yeah the cartoon guy thinks he's Billy Joel

03:43is there something we could do about his attitude that would be amazing is if after every show I got

03:51progressively worse oh yeah and I started to dress like Elton John by the end by the end I'm in a big

04:00I got wings and I'm all glittered up giant glasses just a laptop just a laptop he's got some kind of

04:07like feather robot it's uh it's heaven and hell in his laptop he's crazy I saw a guy do a blow off his

04:18little apple there wild times I'll tell you the Ronnie James deal after parties are still amazing

04:26he says there's a party I didn't he's in there by himself do you know how many chicks want to meet

04:32Ronnie James deal you can you actually pay and meet the hologram the chicks don't want I talked to

04:37two girls I said they didn't want to come here two chicks blew them last night yeah okay fella

04:42you take your uh your weird feather robe and your your drug abuse and you get out of here I don't

04:49know we're canceling this thing I'm gonna make the call on I'm the guy that's gotta get up there and

04:53put the lights up right $60 photo op nobody's gonna want to take me yes of course there's a

04:59meeting great guys you want to meet Ronnie James deal you get through me he's cockier than you

05:05think he'd be you know listen to him it sounds just like the album that's because that is the

05:13album he sounds exactly like the album no that's uh that's an mp3 of the album there that's not to

05:18lick look totally almost synced you're living a fantasy fella I don't know I don't have to deal with

05:28this get us our socks and our Tito's vodka and green M&Ms or I take this whole thing I pack it up

05:40and I go home I'll leave I don't care you don't want to make 90% profit tonight I'm telling you to

05:45leave at this point I ain't going down to the vending machine that's too full of them 98% profit margin

05:50on this show you show me anything any other concert that does that we're paying you $85 to do this

05:57this is wild vending machines are down there by the restrooms if you really need some M&Ms

06:05he just pulls the plug that's it that's it it's over I suppose we'll just go get the cd then or

06:12something but pop that on you'll have to for the 40 people that are gonna be there you better hope

06:17someone has a cd player we got a couple of them turns out we got all kinds of stuff here but

06:22good luck oh my god the demands of the hologram man

06:29where's my dressing room you don't need to get dressed for anything you can do it in your sweat

06:34pants I'm just saying if I was a hologram guy I wouldn't have any the show would be because what

06:40it'll actually be right you you know what it'll be there'll be a giant set with like fire and stuff

06:47like that and then him in the middle yeah and there'll be all that for me there'd be none I'd

06:53be like none of that I'm like you guys have lights and stuff here yeah you got a light man you just do

07:00whatever you want I'm gonna have my laptop set up I have no cost you'd be gone you'd leave I have

07:06no cost hit play it's all ready I can go get a coffee I can you know take a crap and then he

07:14starts skipping and you're you're up playing video games well they know it's not him

07:18having a real problem with this nerd here with the ronnie james theo cartoon he keeps telling me to call

07:30him the maestro

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