Unhappy Endings

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to call-in and share their stories about when sex had an unhappy ending.

Transcript

00:00so what was your unhappy ending that was

00:07theirs you tell us when things didn't go

00:09the way you had planned some text coming

00:11in my buddy had a devil's threesome with

00:12his girlfriend the other guy had a much

00:15longer unit than him and before he knew

00:19it ended up turning into a cuckold

00:21situation complete with small penis

00:24humiliation that's not what you hope

00:27no that's a bummer last night was a real

00:33bummer my lady I didn't particularly care

00:37for the penis humiliation oh poor bastard

00:41that's no good nor did I say I wanted to

00:44involve myself in a cuckold poor little guy

00:48you got some relationship issues yeah

00:49this one said the wife went to visit the

00:52prostate and it was

00:54oh I'm like I went to visit the prostate

00:57it'd be nice if you greeted it that way

01:00hello

01:00I brought you a casserole

01:03thank you

01:06you're welcome prostate

01:08hello

01:10yeah it wasn't that friendly

01:13um I guess he said I was on the opaloids

01:17oh and didn't realize how backed up I was

01:22oh oh no and didn't properly prepare for

01:26this oh it ended up with poop on her and we

01:31both learned to prep before that and I will

01:35not do opaloids before it again step one get

01:38off those pesky opaloids it's so hard to get

01:40off them you know they're they're having

01:43for me yeah at least uh his side effect was

01:46alleviated yeah true it was but not how you

01:50want it to be alleviated I think if she was

01:53visiting yeah she will not return there

01:56again that'll put an end to that um oh some

02:01of them are way too graphic there's a lot of

02:04bad things that have happened like devastating

02:06injuries very graphic or very full of poo

02:09poo and pee pee yeah what a polite way to put

02:13it James

02:13poo and pee pee I'm trying to come up with a

02:17variety of texts to put on the screen for you but

02:18it's all she pooped I pooped we both pooped we

02:23peed I peed she peed we all peed that sums it up

02:28huh wow yeah poop and pee pee

02:31happens quite a bit I guess uh well there is this

02:35one that made it through here uh I was I had a

02:38woman on top she did finish so hard that she

02:42pooped

02:43jeez my god he says to make things worse or

02:47better

02:47I had my hand wrapped around her ass at the

02:51time and it come on the turd literally landed in

02:54my palm you caught it huh so I just ran and threw it in

02:58touchdown I hope you spiked it like a football this is a super bowl dance

03:03how does this happen to people it's a gift how does this really happen to people is this

03:08reality this really happens to people we hear about it so much how could it not be

03:12I know I'm not gonna catch your deuce I'm not gonna catch your deuce it's gonna be real weird it's gonna be such weird

03:19weird moments after that after you poop

03:23it's all about where your hand is I guess

03:28I guess

03:29I'll go throw this away m'lady

03:33you can't hold it

03:40shall I dispose of your feces

03:42don't you I can't listen

03:44might as well

03:44she's the pooping bitch but you gotta feel a bit bad for her too right she didn't obviously ever

03:49intend to poop on her man

03:50well she's gotta take care of that she's a she's the last line of defense with her own butthole you know

03:55yep first and last

03:58first and last is like the marines

04:01yep but I mean the upside of catching it it could have been much messier

04:05I know at least I know but

04:07it's so disgusting

04:08I'm sure glad I caught your deuce

04:10could have been way worse

04:13but I mean it could have been

04:15just let it land

04:17don't catch it

04:20I can't even

04:21I'd rather catch it

04:23that's so gross

04:24like a slippery fish

04:25why would catching it be the best case scenario here

04:27no but just then Lisa then it's all over everything

04:29if I got it in my hands

04:31you just touched it

04:32I don't have to change the sheets

04:33it's not on my legs

04:34it's not on my bed

04:35it's not on her

04:36it's just right there

04:37I got one

04:37it'd be better on her

04:38on the bed and the sheets

04:39it's just down my

04:39it's down my forearm

04:41and in my palm

04:42it's not the best case scenario

04:44you gotta tie it

04:45I think it's best case scenario

04:46no

04:47I do

04:48I've caught it

04:48no

04:49and it hasn't made a

04:51a bunch of other things

04:53it's in your hand

04:54a disaster

04:54it's yours though

04:55but you can take the sheets

04:56and take them

04:57and throw them away

04:58you could throw them away

04:59no

05:00just throw them outside

05:01luckily I caught your dirt

05:02I don't have enough sheets

05:03to be thrown away

05:05willy nilly

05:06I'm catching it like soft shoes

05:12you throw those sheets away

05:13what if they're your favorite sheets though

05:15I don't care

05:16you can get new sheets

05:18oh my god

05:19you can't get rid of those sheets

05:20we gotta put that in your washing machine

05:21it's covered in feces

05:23fecal bacteria

05:24burn it

05:25laundry mat

05:26the laundromat

05:29no

05:29you're not going to the laundromat

05:31no way

05:32throw it away

05:34yeah

05:34okay

05:35we will agree to disagree

05:37poop hands

05:37Dave talk to me

05:38if you ever have poop

05:39in your hands from your woman

05:40I'll get my god

05:41oh my god

05:42you tell me

05:43if that's the best case scenario

05:44I don't think so

05:46I just think

05:47Lisa

05:47okay my two options are

05:48I catch her deuce

05:50and I'm able to

05:50toss it in the toilet

05:52or I'm covered in it

05:53and she's covered in it

05:55and we've got it

05:55then we're a disaster

05:56how's the toilet that close

05:58it's not

06:00you gotta run

06:00I gotta get up

06:01and go

06:01yeah

06:02you had to run

06:02and he

06:03like you're trying

06:04to score a touchdown

06:05he did as fast as he can

06:07oh this is crazy

06:09do you keep your hand there

06:10until they're done

06:11oh my god

06:12oh well

06:13if I've already caught it

06:14that's I mean

06:15like he started

06:15it seems like this fella did

06:16like he's like

06:17oh

06:17he was like

06:17something's hap

06:18keep going

06:19like the ATM's

06:20no I hope it was fast

06:21keep going

06:22oh my god

06:27squeeze

06:28the ATM machine's broken

06:29it just keeps kicking out

06:30turds

06:31oh my god

06:35so many people

06:36have pooped on each other

06:37god damn

06:38what's wrong with you people

06:39clear things out

06:40yeah I can't believe

06:43how much that happens

06:44it's incredible

06:46one involved

06:48a fan was on

06:49so it

06:49come on

06:51it blew places

06:52crap hit the fan

06:53literally

06:54one of those like

06:55square fans

06:56you know

06:57she had diarrhea

06:59they cleaned it up

07:01and turned the fan on

07:02so that the smell

07:03would blow

07:04oh

07:04and then they continued

07:06that's beautiful

07:09maybe light a candle

07:09or something

07:10nothing stops

07:10real love

07:11nothing

07:12nothing does

07:13you guys

07:13diarrhea on a fan

07:15and the light

07:15came down

07:16diarrhea everywhere

07:19tried to catch it

07:22but

07:23it did not work

07:24yeah

07:25catching diarrhea

07:28in your hands

07:29hard

07:29oh my god

07:30you got that right

07:32you gotta cup your

07:34changes the whole story

07:35yeah

07:35it sure does

07:36you gotta creep like a pool

07:37it's a bad night for everybody

07:39there you go

07:40you need two hands

07:40that's how you do it

07:41about

07:43how you do it

07:44you

07:47you

07:55you

07:57you

07:58you

08:00you

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