Dave & Chuck the Freak were about to start discussing the news when Dave received a very strange Facebook message in French from a random woman he's never met.
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00:00I think some French whore is trying to hit on me.
00:07Wait a second.
00:08What are you talking about?
00:09I just got this, like, Facebook message from a...
00:13French whore?
00:14Merlin Borgia.
00:16Are you falling for something, Dave?
00:18No, but I mean, I don't know what...
00:19I got to translate.
00:20She's speaking in French, though.
00:21Oh, okay.
00:23Est-ce que je peux taille mon frère, s'il vous plaît?
00:25English translation here.
00:27Comment ça va?
00:27Ça va bien?
00:30Bon matin.
00:31Bon matin.
00:32What's that mean?
00:33Good night.
00:33Good evening.
00:35Good morning.
00:36Good morning.
00:37Est-ce que vous retournez à ma maison?
00:41Are you going to return to my house?
00:42Are you going to come to my house?
00:43Are you coming to my house?
00:45What did you do, Dave?
00:45Leave your underwear there?
00:46Yeah, what do you got there?
00:48What are you...
00:49Are you going to come to my house finally?
00:52Wow.
00:53What's crazy is if this person's real.
00:56Probably not.
00:57Desolé.
00:58Hold on.
00:58That's sleep, I think.
01:01No, what does that mean?
01:02Are you trying to remember from French class?
01:05Yeah.
01:05Are you finally going to come over to my house and sleep with me?
01:07Sorry.
01:09Oh, sorry.
01:10Je me suis tromper de personne.
01:12Oh, I don't know what that means.
01:14Je me suis.
01:15Sorry, I am...
01:17Sorry, I sent to the wrong person.
01:20Oh, my God.
01:21Oh, my God.
01:21Oh, wow.
01:22That's hilarious.
01:23Oh, that's hilarious.
01:26Oh, my God.
01:27That's amazing.
01:28That's amazing.
01:28That's some sexy French woman.
01:31Wow.
01:32Someone's living a way cooler life.
01:34Are you coming back to my house this morning?
01:36And then realize she sent it to the wrong person.
01:39And her picture is of her with her husband.
01:42Like her marriage photo.
01:43Oh, my God.
01:45No.
01:47Sacrableur.
01:48No.
01:49What the F, you guys?
01:51She's a cheating whore.
01:52How do I say cheating whore?
01:54No, no.
01:54Right there, back to her.
01:55Why not?
01:56He doesn't know her?
01:56Yes, cheating whore.
02:00Ah, triche pute.
02:03Are you triche pute?
02:06Triche pute.
02:08Triche pute.
02:10Cheating whore.
02:11Oh, I bet.
02:12How do I say does your husband know?
02:14Maybe that's better than...
02:15Oh, my God.
02:16What does your husband know?
02:19Maybe they're into cuckolds.
02:21Oh, maybe.
02:22That's how I say it to her.
02:23Thomas, I'm a versatile.
02:25Yeah, your husband know whore?
02:29Oh, my God.
02:31I'm getting really upset.
02:32Dave gets arrested for blackness.
02:34She must have just got married.
02:35All of her stuff.
02:36Let me see.
02:37Let me see.
02:37All of her stuff is all like just recent wedding photos.
02:40We'll see who she got married to.
02:41Dave Hunter?
02:43Does she know a Dave Hunter?
02:44Oh, my God.
02:45Look that up.
02:46She was just in Niagara Falls.
02:48Look that up.
02:49She loves hot dogs.
02:51Yeah, whore.
02:52She is.
02:53That's it.
02:53She loves that.
02:54She put that on her profile right there.
02:56Oh, I just flicked on the wrong thing.
02:58A French lady that loves hot dogs?
03:00Yep.
03:00Glizzy gladi.
03:01She's probably French Canadian.
03:03Oh, yes.
03:03That's much different, Liz.
03:05Got it.
03:06French Canadians love hot dogs.
03:09They do.
03:10But, yeah, she's definitely married.
03:11It says relationship married.
03:12And all of her wedding pictures are in her profile.
03:15Oh, that's so terrible.
03:18That's so, that sucks.
03:19I mean, see why you don't get married.
03:20Like, this guy thinks he's got it made.
03:23Oh, my God.
03:23She's gorgeous.
03:25That's what I mean.
03:25Like, just don't get married.
03:26Yeah.
03:27Jesus.
03:28Bonjour.
03:29You're like, I do want to come over.
03:32Let me come over and sleep.
03:34Oui, I'll be right there.
03:35She kind of looks like a Wonder Woman chick.
03:38Yeah, she's beautiful.
03:39But I guess she's way hotter than her guy.
03:43Well, that's a downside.
03:46Yeah.
03:46She's having people over when he's not at home.
03:48Oh, my God.
03:49We don't know anything.
03:51I think we're figuring it out.
03:53We're assuming all of this.
03:55That's fine.
03:56We don't know.
03:57What the hell?
03:58I know.
03:58That's crazy.
03:59Who did she mean to reach?
04:01Never assume anything.
04:02Another guy named Dave, obviously.
04:04I guess.
04:05Dave Hunter.
04:05Probably doesn't even know.
04:07Or she only knows him.
04:08My French doppelganger.
04:08Only knows him by Dave.
04:11No, I don't.
04:12I guess I'll just leave it alone.
04:13I won't call her a whore.
04:15No, don't call her a whore.
04:16Tell her.
04:16Does her husband know?
04:17No.
04:19Oh, my God.
04:19I'll just say, it's okay.
04:23Send.
04:24All right.
04:25Oh, no.
04:25Now she can call me and message me.
04:27That's, I should never reply.
04:28Oh, no.
04:29I should never reply.
04:30Amber will be furious later.
04:33She saw it already.
04:34Man, she's on there fast.
04:35Well, because I wonder if this is a scam.
04:37Imagine this was actually just a scam.
04:39Could be.
04:40Oh, then I've got to block a French whore.
04:43How do you block a French whore?
04:44I've never had to do it.
04:46It should block.
04:47I don't think that'll work.
04:48Go ahead and block her.
04:50I don't know why you would, but go ahead.
04:52Yeah, you might have missed out on getting some nudes, Dave.
04:54Wow.
04:55Maybe she's like, French nudes.
04:58You think it's okay, huh?
05:00Take a look at my beaver.
05:01Oh, wow.
05:03Beaver.
05:08What is that?
05:09Let's see here.
05:10Let's see what the translation is.
05:13Castor.
05:14Castor.
05:14Castor is beaver.
05:15Yeah.
05:16Check out my castor.
05:17Castor femenelle.
05:19Oh, yeah.
05:20Very nice.
05:21Beaver.
05:23That's English.
05:24Yeah.
05:25All right, let's continue here as we continue to check the news.
05:29I know that just stopped me in my tracks.
05:31When a French whore messaged you out of the blue.
05:33Yeah.
05:35She's gone.
05:37Well, you blocked her.
05:38You blocked her.
05:38Oh, yeah.
05:39He doesn't want to talk to her anymore.
05:41He's already.
05:42Did you see how sad it was?
05:44He was so sad.
05:45I'm like, you did it.
05:47She's gone now.
05:48You did it.
05:49She disappeared.
05:51You just did it to yourself.
05:53Okay, all right.
05:54He almost cried.
05:55I know.
05:55I blocked it two seconds ago.
05:57I thought she blocked me.
05:58I was like, what?
05:59No, you blocked her.
06:00Yeah, okay.
06:01That's fine.
06:01That's better.
06:04You ended it, Dave.
06:05Don't worry.
06:05You broke up with her.
06:06A range of emotions.
06:08You dumped her, Dave.
06:10Mon dieu.
06:10Mon dieu.