00:00I teased the fact that coming up, we'd let you know exactly a part of a guy's face you
00:14can measure to know how big his dick is.
00:16Lisa Way comes back from her office with a DeWalt tape measure.
00:20She's like, let's get to this, huh?
00:22She's got a 16-foot tape measure.
00:24You don't have to pull it out that far.
00:32Andy's face, you look so frightened.
00:35Because whatever this thing that Dave's going to reveal, Andy and I both know whatever ours is, is tiny.
00:41The distance between the middle of your left eye and the tip of your nose are perfectly proportional
00:50to the girth of your dong while fully erect.
00:55The tip of your left eye.
00:57To your nose?
00:59And that's the girth?
01:00So that's the girth.
01:01That's the girth.
01:02So they're not talking about...
01:03No.
01:05The middle of your left eye to the tip of your nose.
01:07Well, they're starting to look like just...
01:09They just look like aliens.
01:11Dude, I'm kind of like them.
01:13I wish I had that kind of girth.
01:16That's a lot of girth.
01:18Right?
01:18I mean, that seems like even for anyone, it's a pretty average space.
01:24Dave's nine inches long and three inches thick.
01:27Yeah, this doesn't make sense.
01:32Dave's three inches thick.
01:34That's what he's telling you.
01:35He's a Coke can.
01:36I'm not a Coke can.
01:37It's three inches for God's sakes.
01:40Three inches.
01:41Three inches.
01:43A Coke can is like eight inches.
01:45Let me see that, DeWalt.
01:46Pass me that, DeWalt.
01:47Here's a Coke can.
01:48I'm going to measure other things that are three inches long.
01:50So, his dick is as thick as my iPhone.
01:56Big ass.
01:57It's like Chuck the Builder all of a sudden.
01:59Oh, yeah.
02:00There it is.
02:01There's DeWalt.
02:02There's DeWalt.
02:02Stop it.
02:03Stop it.
02:03There's DeWalt.
02:04Relax.
02:05Stop it.
02:06There it is.
02:07Chuck.
02:08But it's...
02:10It's actually two more inches out.
02:16It's this thick.
02:18Stop it.
02:18Stop it.
02:18How does Amber handle that?
02:20All right.
02:20Stop.
02:21Is Amber even handling that?
02:23How big are her bits after you?
02:24Stop it.
02:26It's like three inches.
02:27That's about right.
02:27That's bigger than three inches.
02:29It's three exact inches.
02:32It doesn't get more exact.
02:35It's exactly three inches.
02:36Lisa's Kleenex box she can never use again.
02:40I tell you, that's paying some bits a visit.
02:41They're going to remember it.
02:43It's leaving a mark.
02:45And I guarantee it's a lie, too, because mine is going to be way thinner.
02:48Okay, so...
02:49Yeah, mine's not Kleenex box-ic.
02:53They say...
02:53I don't understand this.
02:55The best way to do it besides a...
02:57Lisa's very befuddled.
03:00Very befuddled.
03:01For some reason, I thought it would be the length.
03:04We're going girth here.
03:05And this isn't making any sense.
03:07Lisa, I don't understand this.
03:08I don't understand it.
03:11Chuck, what are you doing?
03:12I'm trying to get this measurement right.
03:14It's so hard to tell where your parts are.
03:17So, from the center of your eye...
03:18Lisa, come measure.
03:19No.
03:19Come measure us.
03:21I'm not measuring you.
03:21So, you can't measure to find out the width of your dong?
03:24Lisa, measure us all.
03:26Measure our dicks.
03:27So, this has got to be about three inches around, right?
03:30Look at this.
03:31I don't know.
03:33I don't know, man.
03:34Lisa, you should have brought your...
03:35This isn't working out.
03:37Don't you have one of those, like, fabric tape measures?
03:41Not on me, no.
03:42Oh, what kind of...
03:43You have it at home?
03:44What kind of dick measure are you?
03:46A little bit easier for a gnome.
03:49Take the way, dick measure.
03:52Yeah, so, okay.
03:54Give me that tape measure.
03:55Lisa's dick measuring tape for a second here.
03:57There it is.
03:58Okay, let's see here if this is...
04:02It's not flexible.
04:04No, because it's an industrial strength.
04:06That thing's going to be probably about five inches around.
04:09What is that one?
04:10That's bigger.
04:11Well, do the 3.14 math on the thing.
04:15Anyway, they say if you don't have a tape measure,
04:17take your left hand, put the tip of your thumb
04:20against the tip of your nose,
04:23then touch your index finger to the middle of your closed eye.
04:28Right?
04:29Do it.
04:31Do it!
04:31Jesus, Lisa.
04:32Stop yelling.
04:34Left eye?
04:35Yes.
04:36No, that's my right eye.
04:37No, this isn't an exact science,
04:38because I'd be cool with that.
04:40James?
04:41It's like two inches around.
04:42It's like a six inch.
04:43You're the only one that hasn't chimed in here, James.
04:46James' dick is huge.
04:48All the comparing sizes.
04:50Did you do the test?
04:51Yeah, it'd be easier for me just to pull out my penis
04:53and show you guys.
04:53That's okay.
04:54That's okay.
04:55Chuck's trying to find these crazy geometric formulas
04:59to calculate his girth.
05:02I'd rather just show you guys and get it done and over with.
05:04That's okay.
05:05Instead of like the square root of my fingertip to my thumb.
05:08And I'm postering James in the bathroom.
05:10And I'm standing on my head.
05:13And the moon's in the right position with the sun.
05:15And I'm so trying to figure out dick size over here on my calculator.
05:20Just Google, what's the dick equation or something.
05:22I basically did.
05:26And I'm trying to figure out.
05:27So if you had a six inch donger.
05:29Yeah.
05:30If we're trying to find out the circumference of six equals six.
05:33You need to draw a diagram.
05:35Okay.
05:36So six inch circle.
05:38Like from, that's how the diameter of it.
05:40Chuck's doing dick math.
05:42Let's listen in as Chuck does his dick math.
05:44Okay.
05:45Six.
05:45You crunching those numbers?
05:52Carry the one.
05:54Carry the one.
05:59Tiny, tiny little dick.
06:02Divide that by the median size.
06:05Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:08All the time.
06:09Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:10Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:10Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:11Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:12Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:13Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:14Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:15Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:16Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:17Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:18Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:19Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
06:20Join us tomorrow when we discuss dick size once again.
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