- 11 months ago
Category
✨
PeopleTranscript
00:00Would you like fries with ice?
00:02YES!
00:30So, this is where you work.
00:35I wouldn't call it work, exactly.
00:37The word work implies such a regimented structure.
00:40I prefer to say this is where I spend my mornings, you know, from 9 to 12,
00:44and afternoons from 1 to 5, and every second weeknight till closing,
00:48but I wouldn't call it work, exactly.
00:51I like to think I can come and go as I please.
00:53Alex, get to work!
00:55And, you know, right now I feel like working.
00:58Whatever.
01:00So, you wanna stick around and have a bite to eat or something?
01:04How about a cookie, baby girl?
01:06It's against my principles to eat in a fast food joint.
01:09They represent everything that's wrong with society.
01:12But they're fresh.
01:16Hey, Patty, this is Cynthia, my new neighbor.
01:19Hi!
01:20Hi.
01:21How do you like the neighborhood?
01:22It's a typical suburban nightmare.
01:24Everybody looks the same, and dresses the same, and acts the same.
01:29And they're all so cheerful.
01:31It's depressing.
01:33Well, uh...
01:34Welcome!
01:37It's been real, Alex.
01:39See ya.
01:40Yeah, it's been real real.
01:44Real real.
01:46I was kinda hoping that wasn't out loud.
01:48Alex, don't move.
01:49Stand still.
01:50What?
01:51Die, fly!
01:52Die!
01:53Oh, man!
01:54What did you do that for?
01:55There was a fly on your arm.
01:56It's not a fly, it's a tattoo.
01:59That is a tattoo?
02:00No offense, Alex, but I think you'd look better with a dead fly on your arm.
02:03It's a temporary rub-on tattoo I'm using to prepare me for the real one I'm gonna get.
02:07Does this have anything to do with Cynthia?
02:10Absolutely not.
02:12But you know, should she have to notice it, I think it was cool and eventually wanna go well with me because of it, then I certainly wanna turn her down or anything.
02:18No, no.
02:20This is how it starts.
02:21First it's the tattoo, then you'll be wearing black lipstick, and before you know it, you'll have earrings everywhere on your body except your ears.
02:27Yeah, look, I would never take it that far.
02:29But for the record, does it hurt more to get piercing the tongue or the lip?
02:33Okay, look, look, look, look.
02:35I mean, come on.
02:36Tattoos are cool, alright?
02:37What better way to show the world than not simply a cog in the industrial wheel, but a strong, confident individual?
02:43So what do you think?
02:44Should I go with the bunny or the flower?
02:46God, I'm kidding me.
02:47Sadly, no.
02:48There's only two I can afford.
02:49Well, I don't think Cynthia is gonna be very impressed with your flower or your little bunny.
02:54Then what should I get?
02:55I don't know, do they have anything in the skull and crossbones motif?
02:58It's not that bad.
02:59Hey, hey, hey, it says here if you design your own, it's even cheaper.
03:02Yeah, I saw that.
03:03I just figured a stick figure wouldn't give me the desired effect I was looking for.
03:06Well, Alex will design it for you.
03:08Really?
03:09Yeah.
03:10Okay, but just don't make it all feminine and girly.
03:14Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to.
03:16Just make it, you know, unique but recognizable.
03:20Original but identifiable.
03:21Expensive looking but cheap.
03:22Exactly.
03:23Let's have it.
03:24The customer thinks he can treat me in the way he likes.
03:28Well, no more.
03:29Now, Tess, remember what Ben always says.
03:32We have to love our customers.
03:34Even if they treat me like dirt.
03:36Even if they treat you like dirt.
03:37Even if they act like I don't exist.
03:39Even if they act like you don't exist.
03:41Even if they throw out most of the bulky burger that you just made.
03:46The one I just handed out to you?
03:48Yeah.
03:49The one that I took extra care and time on?
03:51Uh-huh.
03:52The one whose sesame seeds I rearranged to make them more aesthetically pleasing?
03:57That's it.
03:58Let's go!
03:59I have just a thing.
04:01A voodoo doll.
04:07It's always worked before.
04:12Except one time when I used knitting needles by mistake.
04:15Instead of jabbing the guy, I knit his scarf into a sweater.
04:18But this time, I have the real things.
04:23Good.
04:24When that guy feels this, he'll wish they never set foot in bulkies.
04:32Ow!
04:37Nope.
04:38No.
04:39Try again.
04:40Ooh!
04:41I-I...
04:42Oh!
04:43Ow!
04:44Ow!
04:46Ow!
04:47Ow!
04:48Ow!
04:49Ow!
04:50Ow!
04:51Ow!
04:52Ow!
04:53Ow!
04:54Ow!
04:55Ow!
05:06I don't think your voodoo doll works very well.
05:08He seems to be fine.
05:09Yeah, right.
05:17Ha.
05:18Okay.
05:23This doll works.
05:36Okay, I got a whole bunch of different ones for you to choose from.
05:42Hey, where's my whale?
05:46Oh, I guess I lost it.
05:48Anyways, pick from those.
05:49Meh, meh, meh, meh.
05:52Scorpion's all right.
05:54Snail.
05:54Oh, sorry.
05:56I don't even know what that is.
05:58This octopus is kind of cool.
05:59Spider.
06:00That's a spider?
06:02No.
06:03Uh, nope.
06:04Nope.
06:04Nope.
06:05Nope.
06:07I kind of like this camel.
06:08Tiger.
06:09Idiot.
06:10Sorry, what?
06:11Oh, no.
06:12Moron.
06:12Oh, you know what?
06:13Maybe that bunny tattoo wasn't so bad after all.
06:16I mean, what is this?
06:17Hey, man.
06:18There's a customer dude over there, and he's been staring at me real funny.
06:21Now, tell me the truth.
06:21Do I got some coleslaw on my teeth?
06:23Hey!
06:24My whale!
06:26What is she talking about, man?
06:27Dude, you have the design of a large mammal all over your face.
06:31Okay, but do I got coleslaw in my teeth?
06:34Look at my whale.
06:35He ruined it.
06:36Ew.
06:38Actually, it's kind of nice, minus the mustard and relish stains.
06:42Really?
06:42Yeah.
06:43You know what?
06:44Whale it is.
06:47I'm just going to take Eddie here with me down to the tattoo parlor, so they can copy their
06:51design.
06:51And if Ben asks, just cover it for me.
06:55Well, I don't want to go out in public with coleslaw on my teeth, honey.
06:58Your teeth are fine.
06:59Your teeth are fine.
07:00No, he doesn't seem to be affected.
07:04Somebody tampered with my doll.
07:06Whoa, whoa.
07:07Who would do such a thing?
07:08I mean, tampering with someone's black magic torture device?
07:11It's like, that's just wrong.
07:13Robin, let's do an exorcism.
07:18Right with you.
07:19As soon as I finish up this triple chunky cheese.
07:21We have to clean it.
07:22As hot as possible.
07:29Hot.
07:30Okay.
07:41Why do you get so hot in here?
07:44That'll do it.
07:45Yeah.
07:45Yeah.
07:47Oh.
07:48Oh.
07:49Oh.
07:50Oh.
07:50Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:52What do you think?
07:55Eh.
07:56Much better on Eddie's face.
07:57What are you talking about?
07:58It's perfect.
07:59Fine.
07:59I look like the rebel I really am.
08:01Ow.
08:02Ow.
08:03Ow.
08:04Hey.
08:05Can I get a little service over here?
08:08Oh.
08:09Right away, sir.
08:11What can I get you?
08:11Yeah.
08:13Um.
08:14Uh.
08:15Give me, um.
08:17Oh.
08:19Yeah.
08:20Three bulky burgers.
08:21Rare.
08:22Two large fries.
08:24Raw.
08:24Raw.
08:25And a diet cola.
08:27Right away, sir.
08:30Hey, Kylie.
08:31Where's my soda?
08:32Come on.
08:33Raw.
08:35Raw.
08:36Raw.
08:37I eat burgers, too.
08:39Hard.
08:39I'm in a hurry.
08:41Coming right up, sir.
08:44There you go.
08:45Diet cola.
08:46Raw.
08:47Whoa.
08:48Where have I seen that tattoo before?
08:50I think you're mistaken to see this here as an original.
08:53No, no, no.
08:54I know I've seen that tattoo before.
08:57Now you're wrong.
08:58Now I remember.
09:01You're a harpoon.
09:03No, no, not.
09:04Yes, yes, you are.
09:06I'd know a harpoon anywhere.
09:09Look, I assure you, I merely got this tattoo to assert my individuality.
09:13Okay, you see, there's this girl, Cynthia, and she is so hard.
09:15Do you know how long I've been waiting to get my hands on one of you harpoons?
09:23No, sir, look, you're obviously very angry and hungry, so why don't you just eat your
09:30hearty, oh, though severely undercooked meal here, and we can talk about it after lunch,
09:35okay?
09:35No.
09:36No?
09:37Okay.
09:37Uh, how about this?
09:39I will pay for your meal, huh?
09:41You like that?
09:42Look at this.
09:42The money there in the cash, it's paid for.
09:45No, you don't, mister.
09:46We have a score to settle.
09:48Well, I'll see you in the parking lot after work.
09:54Oh, and you better be there, or else.
09:58That can't be good.
10:08I'm a goner.
10:10Thanks a lot.
10:11For what?
10:12Designing a tattoo that's gonna get me killed.
10:14Well, how was I supposed to know the whale had any ties to the harpoons?
10:16You can't have designed a puppy or a kitten.
10:18No, you have to design a whale.
10:19Well, hey, you pick me.
10:21What am I supposed to do?
10:22I'm too cute today.
10:23Alex, relax.
10:24He's not gonna hurt you.
10:26Are you kidding?
10:27Have you seen the size of him?
10:28Yeah, you're right.
10:29Yeah.
10:31Hey, can I have your night shift when you're gone?
10:34That's funny, because I'm gonna die.
10:36Okay, Alex, you know what?
10:37Look, look on the bright side of things.
10:39Cynthia is gonna think you're so much cooler when you're dead.
10:43I'll have that whole macabre feel.
10:46You're not helping.
10:49I know, I know.
10:50What if I put this on my head and use it as a wig?
10:53Alex?
10:53You won't recognize me.
10:54Alex.
10:54See?
10:55You won't even know who I am.
10:56I could be a girl for a while.
10:57Alex!
10:57What?
10:58I just cleaned the bathroom with that.
11:01Maybe not.
11:03Who's Alex?
11:06Okay.
11:07Okay, Alex, I got it.
11:09What?
11:09It's gonna be dark out when we're done.
11:12Yeah, so?
11:14So?
11:15Maybe if we trick someone else and send them in your place, he won't notice.
11:19Oh, come on.
11:20Who would be stupid enough to fall for that?
11:21Hey, guys.
11:23Hey.
11:24You see those little yellow dots?
11:28No?
11:28No.
11:29No?
11:29I don't feel good.
11:32I think I'm coming down with something.
11:34I've got this pain and the head banging and the sweating.
11:39I think I'm dying.
11:41I think I'm coming down with something.
11:44Ben?
11:50Sweet angel of mercy, I've died and gone to heaven.
11:54Sweet angel of mercy, man.
11:56You must be sick.
11:59Maybe you should go lie in the office, Ben.
12:01Hey.
12:01Oh, let me go.
12:08Ready?
12:09Oh, yes.
12:12I love you guys.
12:14I love you guys.
12:20Okay.
12:21That should do it.
12:23Okay.
12:24I put it under the heat lamps to speed up the drying.
12:33And then, it will be ready.
12:36Are you sure this is going to work?
12:50Gee, last time I drew a tattoo on somebody's arm while they slept and then sent them out
12:53dressed as a biker without their knowledge, it worked like a charm, so I don't see why
12:56this would be any different.
12:56How the heck am I supposed to know if it's going to work?
13:00I'll be free.
13:01Working a car is the best prime beef for the world possible.
13:07Go to sleep.
13:09Go to sleep.
13:12Go to sleep, little Benny.
13:16I think it worked.
13:21Will you wake up?
13:25Oh, sorry.
13:26Yeah.
13:27Where were we?
13:27Oh, yes.
13:29Prepping Ben for his untimely demise.
13:32Blow a black.
13:33Just do it.
13:34Yeah.
13:35Thanks.
13:43Who would have thought Ben's arm would make such a good candy?
13:46Oh, Becky, I love you.
13:48I don't really think I can kiss you.
13:56No.
13:56Relax, relax.
13:57I was almost done.
13:58Maybe we could just leave it like that.
13:59How much do you have left?
14:00Just the eyes.
14:01And the body and the fins and the blowhole.
14:03You're really much of a stickler for detail, are you?
14:07Yo, Ben!
14:09Eddie.
14:09Let's get out of here.
14:10Go, go, go.
14:10Go, go, go.
14:11Eddie!
14:13That was close.
14:15Hey, Ben.
14:17You guys signed for this, my man?
14:18I'm starting to trend.
14:29I don't feel good.
14:33Put him on the counter.
14:41Hey, maybe a cold compress will help.
14:43I'm going to take your pulse or write it here on your forearm so you don't forget, okay?
14:55Okay, that's 120 over 40.
14:58Ben, stop moving.
15:00You're tickling me.
15:02Well, I can't take your pulse if you keep moving.
15:04Think of something sad.
15:06Yeah, like a bird with a broken wing.
15:10Or like a child without a doll.
15:14Or bulkies without any customers.
15:16Oh, that's not funny.
15:21Now I can finish this.
15:24Hey, that's pretty good.
15:25What?
15:26Your pulse.
15:27It's pretty good.
15:29I don't feel so good.
15:31You know what you need, Ben?
15:33A brisk walk in a cold night air.
15:36Really?
15:37Yeah, yeah.
15:37Okay.
15:38Oh, I got you.
15:40Hey, that wasn't very nice.
15:57You're right.
16:00Cola?
16:01Okay.
16:03I think it's dry now.
16:06Finally.
16:07I've never seen you so angry.
16:10I like it.
16:12Okay.
16:13This is for all the times you wouldn't look me in the eyes when I talk to you.
16:20Oh, my eyes!
16:21And for the time you threw out half the burger I made you!
16:26And for every time you completely ignored me.
16:32And for the time when I was six and you wouldn't let me go to Le Ronde,
16:36take that and that and that and that and that and that.
16:39You just let me take over for a while.
16:41Okay?
16:42Great.
16:43Okay.
16:44Oh, my gosh.
16:46Did you hear that?
16:49I can't say a thing, but it sounds like the guy's really laying into him.
16:53So every time I told you to enjoy your meal and you just walked away without thanking me!
16:58Oh, my gosh!
16:59Oh, my gosh!
17:00It sounds like Ben's really getting hurt.
17:04It's not my fault.
17:06Maybe we should go out there and help him.
17:08I feel bad, but I don't feel that bad.
17:10Why don't I hear any screaming?
17:18Do you think...
17:20He's dead!
17:26I can't believe he's actually gone!
17:29It seemed like just this morning he was standing right there, running to fire me.
17:33Oh, wait.
17:34It was this morning...
17:35Alex, do you remember how his upper lip used to quiver when he was bossing us around?
17:46Yeah, or remember how his little chest used to puff up with pride every time he kissed
17:50up to the boss.
17:51Or how he'd get all giddy when someone forgot their change.
17:54Goodbye, sweet prince.
18:08We're gonna miss you, little guy.
18:12They'll teach you to treat people better.
18:15I don't want to see you or your bandana in bulkies again.
18:19Bandana?
18:20He wasn't wearing a bandana.
18:21It wouldn't match his suit.
18:22Suit?
18:23What are you saying?
18:24Wait a minute.
18:25Was the guy you were talking about sitting at table four today?
18:28No, it was at table six.
18:29No, I thought you were talking about the guy in the suit.
18:31This whole time you were talking about Gorgon.
18:33You know him?
18:34Yeah, Gorgon isn't rude.
18:36He's from Croatia and he can barely understand any English.
18:39He probably just had no idea what you were saying.
18:41You mean he wasn't ignoring me?
18:43No.
18:44In this whole time I've been torturing someone who doesn't deserve it.
18:48Yes.
18:50That poor dear man.
18:52Do you think it really worked?
18:55I hope not.
18:57But just in case a deep muscle massage won't hurt me.
18:59Okay.
19:00Well, reflexology never hurt anyone.
19:01I don't know.
19:03Okay.
19:05Whoa.
19:07Ben!
19:08Oh.
19:08You're alive!
19:09Oh!
19:10Of course I'm alive!
19:12But we heard screaming!
19:14Oh!
19:15Oh, yeah!
19:17Had these pains in my...
19:19back.
19:20But now they're gone.
19:21I feel surprisingly good.
19:24Oh.
19:25Oh.
19:26Oh, yeah!
19:28That's the spot right there.
19:29Do you want to be alone?
19:30What?
19:31No.
19:31What do you say that?
19:32Oh.
19:33Oh, yeah!
19:34Right there.
19:34Ah!
19:35There you are!
19:38Jimmy!
19:39This is Jimmy.
19:40Jimmy here.
19:40I...
19:41We met him in the parking lot.
19:43He mistook me for a...
19:44harpoon.
19:45I don't understand why.
19:48My...
19:49manly physique
19:50can throw you off.
19:53Anyway,
19:54too bad it wasn't him.
19:55Because I owe this guy some money.
19:57What?
19:57Money?
19:58Money, money!
19:58I'm here, harpoon.
20:00Yeah, right.
20:00No, no, no, really.
20:01It's me.
20:01Remember?
20:02We met earlier today.
20:03I took your order.
20:04Ah!
20:08Look, look.
20:09I even have the tattoo.
20:10Oh.
20:10It's a little ketchupy right now.
20:12That's a...
20:12That's a...
20:13That's a whale.
20:14Looks like a guppy.
20:15No, no, no, no, no, no.
20:16No, no, it is.
20:17Look.
20:17He's got a little thing.
20:21Give me the money.
20:23Here.
20:26Oh.
20:27Huh?
20:28Ah!
20:28Oh!
20:29Of course.
20:31I made it.
20:32There you go.
20:33No, no, don't go.
20:34Wait, wait, wait.
20:35Wait to see.
20:35I'm the harpoon.
20:36Show me your hug, brother.
20:38Oh, yeah.
20:42I'm sorry, man.
20:43We're closing.
20:44Cynthia.
20:45No, she's a friend of mine.
20:47Whatever.
20:48Saw the lights on.
20:49Thought you might be here.
20:50Yeah.
20:52Hey.
20:53Cool tattoo.
20:54Yeah, I know what it is called.
20:55Thanks.
20:57Where did I get that?
20:59Kind of looks like a whale.
21:01Oh, finally.
21:03You want to grab a coffee somewhere?
21:05Yeah.
21:06Sure.
21:07See ya, Alex.
21:13Yeah.
21:15See you, Alex.
21:20Don't worry, Alex, man.
21:22This is gonna happen to me again.
21:23I knew I should have got that rabbit tattoo.
21:34Hey, there's Gorgon.
21:37Oh, he looks relaxed.
21:39I guess our deep muscle massages really did the trick.
21:42Yeah.
21:42I feel so guilty after you left that for added relief, I put the voodoo doll on the breadboard
21:47and roll a rolling pin over it to make sure I worked out all the kinks.
21:51Oh.
21:51Well, it worked.
21:52Looks so happy.
21:55So, what did Cynthia say about her date with Ben last night?
21:58Actually, she said it was going pretty well until Ben dropped on the floor and started yelling,
22:05Lay it on me, baby.
22:07Ew.
22:08Did he at least pay her a coffee first?
22:10I don't think so.
22:16So, Alex, what does Cynthia say about me?
22:20Should I call her?
22:24You know, Ben, I'd give it a couple days.
22:28You're just jealous.
22:31Lay it on me, baby.
22:39Oh, Cynthia.
22:41Oh, Cynthia.
22:43Oh.
Comments