00:00This video will onboard you into all of the rules and regulations that we abide by here at my eponymous company and its holdings.
00:08Not to mention, we can give you a little inside scoop into the company culture.
00:14For starters, all the employees here are called Hortys.
00:17I made sure that we included this in the HR handbook in order to create a monoculture
00:22that will force you to submit to everything from pay cuts to insane tasks
00:27that definitely derive from arbitrary directives I've conjured up depending on my mood.
00:33When I'm really mad or my wife has been ignoring me in the bedroom,
00:36I'll sometimes refer to all of you as Horty-whores since I pay you to do all my bidding.
00:43And we only do that behind your back because officially us Hortys embrace company culture and love to have fun in the workplace.
00:49Sometimes we even have drinks at 4 p.m. on Fridays.
00:52What? Who okayed that?
00:55Uh, you, uncle.
00:57Sir?
00:58Well, I'm changing my mind.
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