00:00The reaction when people hear that we have two trans kids is pretty shock and awe.
00:05Before I had transitioned, I had like a piece missing in me and it just didn't feel right.
00:12And I was nervous to tell my parents.
00:15When I told them, they said that they accepted me.
00:18I was like super happy.
00:20We're not going to allow our kids to feel shame or fear.
00:25They deserve to feel loved.
00:27Anyone can be whoever they want and it doesn't matter what your opinion is.
00:34Being trans, to describe it, it would mean you were born the gender that you don't feel like in your heart.
00:44Good morning.
00:46So are you excited for the last week of school?
00:49Mhm.
00:50Are you nervous about middle school?
00:51Yeah.
00:53I always have been a boy, but I started to realize it in first grade when I told my mom I wanted to have my hair short
01:02and that I wanted to look less girly.
01:08James approached us in a casual way by dropping hints from the time he was seven until he was eight.
01:16He would say things like, I'm half boy, half girl, half gorilla.
01:20And I would think you're not good at math like your mom.
01:24I remember a time that he said to me, sometimes I feel like I'm a boy.
01:27And at that point, I was trying to be a supportive parent and said, yeah, I've got effeminate feelings and I get that.
01:34And that's okay to have feelings that are masculine and feelings that are feminine.
01:38I'm done.
01:39Okay.
01:40But the truth of the matter is I was missing these clues, these breadcrumbs that were being dropped around him kind of testing the water.
01:49Before I had transitioned, I had like a piece missing to me and it just didn't feel right.
01:56And I was nervous to tell my parents.
01:59Which one are you coloring?
02:01This one.
02:03When I told them and they said that they accepted me, I was like super happy because I know a lot of trans kids don't have that.
02:12And that's sad.
02:14When James was eight years old, he asked to transition, which meant a social transition, which is not permanent.
02:22He got to use he and him for pronouns.
02:26He then, this past year, changed his name legally and his gender markers legally.
02:33He just now, a month ago, started hormone blockers.
02:39It's an implant.
02:40It is to prevent his puberty.
02:43It will prevent a menstruation cycle and breast development, which would cause a lot of havoc mentally and physically for him
02:53if he were to start developing those second sex characteristics.
02:57And he is counting down the days until he can start testosterone, which would be the first time something permanent would be happening.
03:05Because at that point, it would affect fertility.
03:08If you use a blocker and go on to testosterone, your aches would never mature.
03:13You would have to go through female puberty for that, which is something you could do.
03:18I could, but I don't want to.
03:20Why?
03:21Because it's uncomfortable.
03:22What's uncomfortable?
03:23To think of that.
03:24I'm a guy, and it's like if any other guy thought about being a woman, that's uncomfortable.
03:32And you've always said you wanted to be a parent.
03:34Yeah.
03:35So what are you going to do about that if you can't have your own child?
03:39Adopting is a great idea to me.
03:43I transitioned first, so I think that that helped Olivia see that it was okay to be trans.
03:51That's amazing.
03:52Wow.
03:53Is it bigger than yesterday's or is that?
03:55I think it's actually smaller.
03:57That made it easier for her to come out and tell my parents because she knew that they would be accepting.
04:06Olivia said she was transgender from the age of four until five, and we allowed her to wear whatever she wanted,
04:16but she didn't socially transition until she was five years old.
04:19It was less shocking because we had just had a child transition, and we had just educated ourselves about gender.
04:25A lot of people think that it must be a copycat situation where the younger one's just mimicking the older one,
04:32thinking that the older one's getting some kind of praise or feedback, and they want the same attention.
04:38But this is who she is, and this is where we are.
04:42I reacted to Olivia transitioning like most older siblings would, which is kind of like, but really?
04:50Even though I'm trans, I got a little defensive because I thought it was my thing.
04:57But now I saw and still see that Olivia's a girl and that she always will be.
05:04He helped me by making me confident because you're like my first supporter,
05:13so it made me very confident that I would have many more.
05:19Our relationship is good. It's like most siblings.
05:24We fight, but it's nothing ever important, I guess.
05:29Luckily with Olivia, she's so young. She's only seven.
05:32The first thing would be a hormone blocker, and that's not until she would hit stage two of puberty.
05:39As of right now, we just follow her lead.
05:42All right, let's head out.
05:44And we parent, for those of you who think that we're just following our children around and doing nothing.
05:51Yeah, we do.
05:56For anyone who says that we're pushing an agenda, I would ask them to look at their own children.
06:02If you can't find a way to love your child, and your faith or your fears are more important than your caring for your own child,
06:12then don't look at me, look at yourself.
06:14We're going about this because we're listening to our children and because we're doing a lot of research,
06:19and research has proven that we're doing the right thing.
06:22The scary statistics of what happens when a parent is not supportive of their transgender child.
06:28The high amount of suicide that occurs scared me so much that I knew that no matter what fear or hesitation we had or concern,
06:40that the only thing our children could and should and would feel from us would be love and acceptance.
06:47There was a grieving process for me when both of my children transitioned.
06:52It wasn't because I didn't love my child anymore, it had nothing to do with that.
06:56It had to do with me navigating a world that I just knew nothing about.
07:01It was very scary, and as time has gone on, I've learned to trust that there is community, there is support,
07:07and this is real.
07:10There is a concern from a lot of people that this could be a phase and this ultimately may not be who they are,
07:17but knowing that they're going to always have the experience of love and acceptance from us is key.
07:24We will love and accept them if they come to us tomorrow and say that they've changed their mind.
07:28We will love and accept them if they don't.
07:30Being trans is just a little part of me.
07:32We're not different, we shouldn't be treated better or worse.
07:36Where I am now, I have all the support I need.
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