00:00 I know it's a risk. I know the staff is taking a risk.
00:02 I'm taking a risk. We don't know how this is going to turn out.
00:06 After the last Olympics, I thought I was going to be done
00:13 pretty much with the national team.
00:14 Life kind of threw a little bit of a curveball for me.
00:16 My body and mind were still in a pretty good space.
00:19 I knew that if I was going to be really good for the summer, I needed time.
00:23 Mentally and emotionally, I was still going through
00:25 some challenging times off the court and really being surrounded by community
00:29 is where I thought I needed.
00:31 I chose not to play professional season
00:33 and just stay home and coach and train and be really good in the weight room.
00:37 It's definitely not typical to be taking a break.
00:39 Most of our girls are playing overseas six to eight months abroad
00:43 and then coming back and joining the national team.
00:45 So I know it's a risk.
00:47 I know the staff is taking a risk. I'm taking a risk.
00:49 We don't know how this is going to turn out.
00:51 Determining if I wanted to play or not, I swear it was like every day I'd wake up
00:55 and like, how am I feeling today?
00:57 And it wasn't that I didn't have options.
00:59 I had many options.
01:00 I felt like the gains that I was making in the weight room were so instrumental.
01:06 And so that's where I wanted to invest my time.
01:09 I have never taken a break like that before in my career.
01:11 I've been grinding for a long time, 15 years,
01:16 which goes to show like how hard this decision was.
01:18 But again, I knew and felt something in my heart that I just wasn't ready.
01:22 And I'm and I'm also like, it's not fair if I'm going to sign a contract,
01:25 if I'm half in.
01:26 And I knew that my performance was probably going to suffer
01:29 if I was going to do that anyways.
01:30 So while the money would have been maybe nice or, you know,
01:33 even to justify a behavior maybe for the external world inside,
01:39 internally, it just would have been right for me.
01:41 And I'm grateful that I've been able to make that decision
01:44 and had the support around me to do that.
01:45 It was a hard decision to come to.
01:48 Obviously, I think of my teammates first and foremost.
01:50 I've put in the work to kind of earn that right to take up a little bit of space
01:55 for me in that sense.
01:57 But I think it's been really important to communicate intention
01:59 and know that teamwork and being on a team is really important
02:03 and awareness around how my teammates feel about that.
02:05 Everybody's path doesn't look the same.
02:08 And I think even for me, it's taught me to just kind of see things
02:12 for as they are and everybody's dealing with other things
02:15 that maybe you don't actually know.
02:16 For most of my career, like I planned a lot, right?
02:19 Like I think as an Olympic athlete, like you plan your life in four year cycles.
02:23 And it's like, I'm going to be here in four years.
02:24 And this is what it's going to look like.
02:26 And I'm going to do X, Y and Z to get there.
02:27 And I think there can be a lot of change and a lot of things that happen
02:32 and adapting and adjusting as an athlete is huge.
02:35 But I think also in life, you know, you just really never know.
02:39 And to really take each day as it comes and be as present as you can.
02:43 I know that therapy is maybe sometimes shunned upon or I don't even know.
02:47 Like I, I value it so much.
02:50 It should be looked at as a tool.
02:51 It's another way to better yourself.
02:54 It's like nutrition.
02:54 It's like in the weight room, like having a strength and condition coach.
02:58 It's just another tool to allow you to one, understand yourself better
03:01 and then understand how you can interact with others better.
03:04 It's OK to ask for help.
03:05 I think that even at the highest level, like we all have our
03:09 we're all broken and some capacity and it's how can you ask for help?
03:14 That's truly an authentic to you.
03:16 And it's not a sign of weakness.
03:18 It's actually a sign of deep vulnerability and realness.
03:21 There's a lot of people that can help facilitate those conversations.
03:24 And so I think it's just being honest and real about where you are
03:27 and then acknowledging how you can move forward.
03:29 [Music]
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