00:00I was 19 years old when I had met the guy that asked me to marry him.
00:05I said yes because I wanted to feel chosen.
00:08I should have said no.
00:10But I wanted that fairytale wedding.
00:12I wanted that happily ever after.
00:15I wanted somebody to love me unconditionally.
00:18My wedding day was underwhelming to say the very least.
00:22So on the day of my wedding, I treated myself to go and get my hair done.
00:27And the hair stylist, as they often do, asked me,
00:31have you got any special plans for today?
00:34To which I said, my friend is getting married.
00:38I couldn't even admit that it was my special day.
00:42What that day commenced was the beginning of 10 years of domestic violence.
00:49Sometimes I would use my voice to speak up for my needs and what I wanted
00:53or to voice my opinions.
00:56And it would be met with violence.
00:58There were many bruises, many tears, and many tantrums.
01:03So it was really late, and I was trying to get home from the city.
01:08And I kept on looking at the missed calls on my phone
01:11and listening to the voice messages.
01:13I don't know where you are right now, but when I see you, I'm going to mess you up.
01:18And my heart was in my throat.
01:21So the taxi pulled into the driveway.
01:24And the first thing I noticed were the clothes all over the street.
01:30And I was stepping over my jewelry and a digital camera.
01:34I got my keys out of my purse, and my hand was shaking,
01:37and I was trying to open the door.
01:38And he just opened it.
01:39I couldn't even get the key in the lock.
01:40And he said, where have you been?
01:43And the first thing I noticed was, oh my gosh,
01:45I could smell alcohol in his breath.
01:46He was so drunk.
01:47There were bottles of vodka everywhere.
01:49And I could smell gasoline.
01:51And I didn't know where it was coming from.
01:53And I looked out in the back garden.
01:54And there was another big pile of all of my clothes
01:56that were heaped, waiting to be set alight.
02:00And he was looking for the matches so he could light it up.
02:06And I could see that my shoes, the heels had been snapped off.
02:09And my computer was in two parts because he had smashed it with a hammer.
02:14And he had cut my desk in half with an axe.
02:19Precious photos that can't be replaced of my grandmother
02:21were ripped apart, letters that she had written me before she died.
02:29And I called my dad.
02:30And it was, by this stage, it was 3 o'clock in the morning.
02:32And I called my dad.
02:33And I said, dad, what do I do?
02:36And he said, Sarah, you call the police, you silly girl.
02:38You call the police.
02:42I remember when the police arrived.
02:45I was so strong.
02:46I was really strong.
02:47I had my brave face on.
02:48I was really good at that.
02:51And the police asked me what were the names and ages of my children.
02:57And it was up until that point that I was able to hold it together
03:00until he asked me that.
03:01And then I just broke down crying.
03:04I felt so powerless.
03:07And I knew that something had to change.
03:10I had to change.
03:12I had to make sure that my children didn't know this was OK.
03:17I left with nothing.
03:18I had two suitcases, two children, and over $30,000 worth of debt.
03:25And there were some days, I didn't even
03:26know how I would feed my children at that time.
03:29And so we're in the supermarket after school.
03:32And we're walking through all of the aisles.
03:34And I'm seeing everything that I would love to eat.
03:36Because at the time, I was starving myself so I could feed my kids.
03:41And I remember one day, I called my mother.
03:43And I was still in that moment, still unable to tell her, hey, mom,
03:46I'm hungry.
03:47I need some help.
03:52And she told me to just take one day at a time.
03:57That was the best piece of advice that she gave me.
04:00And then from that, I was able to take one moment at a time
04:04to then change my life to build the momentum that I needed
04:08to get to that next chapter.
04:11And it was just six years later that I had a full circle moment
04:16that I was in a supermarket parking lot,
04:20loading in the groceries for the weekly shop into the back of my car.
04:24And I'm feeling grateful that I've got the money
04:26to pay for the groceries and feed my children.
04:29And a woman comes up to me.
04:31And she has a two-year-old daughter.
04:34She looked about two years old in a stroller.
04:36And she walks towards me.
04:37And she says, excuse me, miss, do you think you could help me?
04:43I'm really hungry.
04:44And I don't have a way of feeding my daughter right now.
04:49And my heart, oh, my heart just went out to her straight away
04:52because I knew that that was me, but six years ago.
04:56And I opened up my purse.
04:57And I had two $20 bills.
05:00And I handed them to her.
05:02And I said, it's all going to be OK.
05:05Just take one day at a time.
05:08Because when I was brave enough to take those steps,
05:11to leave the dysfunction, to set those boundaries,
05:14to ask for help like that woman inspired me to do and to ask for,
05:19my life began to change, so much so that 10 years later,
05:24I had my fairy tale wedding.
05:26I married the love of my life.
05:28I had two more children.
05:29You'll look back one day.
05:30And you'll be so proud of yourself that you were able to survive.
05:35And what I know to be true is that if you be the love that you believe you
05:44deserve, it will change your world.
06:05Oh.
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