00:00 My name is Marissa Baker and I've been married and divorced twice.
00:09 Patty's been divorced one time and so I think we both had just had enough of dating culture
00:15 and traditional marriage and now we're platonic life partners.
00:18 Marissa and I were acquaintances before both divorces took place and it was actually her
00:25 28th birthday or 29th birthday.
00:27 I showed up to her birthday party with my then husband and she asked me, I seemed a
00:32 little bit sad and she said, "You know what's wrong?
00:34 You seem a little bit off today."
00:36 And I said, "My husband of three years asked for a divorce last night.
00:40 I have no friends.
00:41 I have no family and I need a support system through this and I choose you."
00:45 So Marissa then checked in on me for about six months every day, helping me through the
00:49 divorce process and right around that six month mark, she got the courage to ask her
00:55 then husband, her second husband to get divorced for the second time.
01:00 So she moved in, brought her two dogs and since then we've just decided to do life together.
01:06 We just get the freedom to be ourselves.
01:09 It sounds like such a simple statement but we didn't really have those freedoms with
01:14 our ex-husbands and that's not to say that they're not good men but they had these expectations
01:21 of us and now we just get to show up as we are and it just makes life a lot easier.
01:28 We have fun together.
01:29 We laugh together.
01:31 I can be weird.
01:32 I'm messy at times.
01:36 The whole nine yards, I can make my TikToks on the balcony and there's nobody judging
01:40 me or criticizing me.
01:42 And I think similar to Patti is she actually gets to show up and be herself without feeling
01:48 like she's not enough.
01:49 Yeah, being the authentic version of yourself in your safe space, which is your home is
01:54 really important and I think since we've moved in together and been living together as partners,
01:59 it's really created that sense of home and safe space and friendship but it goes beyond
02:04 that because we've now entered into this life partner role that elevates that friendship
02:09 one level higher than just a normal best friend relationship is.
02:13 There's life choices being made that involve each other's opinions and there's just no
02:18 fighting.
02:19 There's nothing that you would have in a normal marriage.
02:21 This is just every day is a great day.
02:24 We're both young single females.
02:26 There's a lot of opportunity for travel and to see family and friends.
02:30 So we have shared calendars.
02:32 There's joint bills.
02:33 There's joint expenses.
02:34 So it's everything you would have in a normal marriage except for that title of a marriage.
02:39 Even in terms of health situations with doctor's appointments, I am Marissa's emergency contact.
02:45 She is my emergency contact.
02:47 If she brings someone home, it's like, "Hey, we're a package deal," and vice versa.
02:51 When there's men involved, they like to know what this relationship is because they don't
02:57 understand it.
02:58 So explaining that we're not just friends.
03:01 There's a partnership here and listen, you're getting both of us but there's only benefits
03:06 from one.
03:07 Between myself and between Patty, all my needs are met.
03:10 We want men but I think it's a very empowered place to be when you don't need them or when
03:17 you don't rely on them for financial provisions.
03:22 I think it's really cool to be in a place in the world where women have a choice rather
03:26 than I have to be here because I need them to survive.
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