- 3 years ago
Pat | Out & About
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SportsTranscript
00:00 Yeah, they didn't teach me that one.
00:02 This is...
00:04 You can hear the breath. You can hear the breath.
00:06 You go...
00:08 [Breathing]
00:10 Okay everyone, happy Friday. Joey and I are on a plane right now down to Daytona.
00:14 So follow us on social to get that.
00:16 I wish we were driving over the Bermuda Triangle.
00:18 Flying over the Bermuda Triangle?
00:20 Did we pass that on the way to Florida?
00:22 No. We don't go a thousand miles into the Atlantic Ocean and then back over to the thing.
00:29 So everyone watch us.
00:31 Follow along with us. We're going to be having a lot of fun down there.
00:33 I'm pissed because it's supposed to be shitty fucking weather on Saturday and Sunday.
00:37 You are. It's still winter. It's not going to be hot and sunny.
00:39 Last time it was freezing. We were just on drugs.
00:42 We were just on drugs.
00:44 And Liam had that fur coat on that we could cuddle up to.
00:48 Well it was natural.
00:49 Liam and Cody.
00:51 I was supposed to... We went on a trip with otters.
00:54 You were very pleasantly surprised.
00:56 The Manatee is the state bird of Florida but there were many otters with us that day.
01:02 The sea mammal is Cody.
01:04 Yeah he's not even coming. It's going to be Devlin who's also a hairy guy.
01:07 Do I know him?
01:08 You know Devlin. Yeah he sits right behind me.
01:10 Oh he works here?
01:11 Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. You know Devlin.
01:14 Does he wear glasses?
01:15 No.
01:16 Yes he does.
01:17 No he doesn't.
01:19 Devlin does? Long dark hair?
01:22 No he used to be fat with long hair and now he's skinny with a buzz cut.
01:26 Oh he doesn't sit in our section?
01:28 He sits behind me.
01:31 Regardless. It's a great crew going down. We talked about it a bunch.
01:34 Everyone's going to be there so it's going to be a lot of fun.
01:37 Is Fasoli going to be there?
01:39 No. Fasoli's not allowed in the state of Florida.
01:42 Oh that's right.
01:43 They'd mistake him for...
01:44 Ever since that beaver eating accident.
01:47 They'd mistake him for a beached manatee.
01:49 You're a little bit foggy this morning because old Nana Wenahem took herself a sleeping pill.
01:53 I took two.
01:54 Why?
01:55 It was just in solidarity for my sisters.
01:58 And that's due to...
02:00 Beyond the grave.
02:01 Okay.
02:02 No I took it because I've been drinking espresso in the mornings and then...
02:05 Does it keep you up too much?
02:07 Well that and then I think I had something else.
02:09 I was eating lollies all night long.
02:11 What the fuck is a lolly?
02:13 It's candy.
02:14 You mean a lollipop?
02:15 No. I live in Australia so that's how we say it there.
02:19 A baby bottle pop?
02:20 Are you high right now?
02:21 I don't know.
02:25 I think there's something off about you right now.
02:27 I can't put my finger on it.
02:28 Okay. I like to keep them guessing.
02:30 No I had a bunch of sugar before bed and I knew I had to work today so I wanted to get some rest.
02:37 So I took two of my trazodones.
02:39 That's so crazy.
02:40 I took one of those and I was...
02:45 The tranquilizers.
02:46 I was full. I took one of these and I was fully out like 20 minutes after I took it and I woke up with a headache for two days.
02:52 Headache?
02:53 Yes.
02:54 I want to get headaches.
02:55 I forgot to set the alarm because it happens so...
02:57 They work so fast so then I'm a little disoriented this morning but I have to get my night ducks in a row.
03:03 Do you take them when you fly?
03:04 No.
03:05 You like to drink when you fly.
03:06 I don't drink when I fly.
03:08 Never.
03:09 You don't drink alcohol when you fly?
03:10 No.
03:11 Ever?
03:12 No. There's no point because when I get to the destination I have things to do.
03:15 So I'm not going to get there and be fucked up.
03:17 Yeah that's true.
03:18 When I come down from flying I get hungover.
03:20 Like if I drink in the air and I go down I get nauseous and gross.
03:23 People that drink on the plane are fucking amateur fucks that don't...
03:26 They say "Oh I love to travel."
03:28 Like you go to fucking Florida. You don't travel.
03:30 Yeah which is... That brings me to a point.
03:32 So we're going to Florida. It's two and a half hours.
03:34 Is it worth it on a flight domestically under three hours to upgrade to first class?
03:39 It depends on what you're getting first class for.
03:42 I mean if you're getting first class for the food and the drinks and the amenities
03:46 I don't really think it's worth it on a two hour flight
03:48 because you're not going to take advantage of that much of the food.
03:51 I don't think you serve meals in that short flight.
03:53 But if you're doing it for other reasons...
03:55 I chose first class because I like a roomy seat.
03:57 I like to have a lot of leg room on it.
03:59 I like to board first.
04:00 I like to avoid crowds.
04:03 So that's why I do first class.
04:05 Nana's in the lounge.
04:06 So for me it is worth it on every flight to fly first class
04:09 because I want to be able to be comfortable.
04:10 I'm a bigger person. I want leg room.
04:12 You're a lady of size.
04:13 I want a wider seat. A lady of size.
04:14 I like that. That's the only reason I fly first class.
04:17 Even on big long flights I sleep through all the food.
04:20 Food's never great.
04:22 So I prefer first class because of convenience not for the amenities.
04:27 I always feel like it's a waste of money that whenever I do it
04:29 I'm like I need to do this every single flight.
04:32 I'm too tall.
04:34 It always pisses me off when someone's short, bitches,
04:36 about not having enough leg room on a plane.
04:38 Shut the fuck up.
04:40 If you are under 6 feet...
04:42 No, if I would say...
04:43 If you're under 5'11" and you complain about any sort of comfort issue on a plane
04:48 I don't want to hear it.
04:49 You're fine. The seats are made for you.
04:51 I'm 6'5". You're 6'3".
04:53 Are you 6'3"?
04:54 No, 6'1".
04:55 You're 6'1"?
04:56 6'1", 6'2", yeah.
04:57 Well, in a heel.
04:58 Well, depending on what heel.
04:59 I usually wear an S-Pitch heel down to Florida.
05:00 You wear a chunky cork heel down to Florida so they can float.
05:04 They can float in case you go down.
05:07 Yeah, no. I mean, I upgraded for this.
05:10 It'll be interesting to see who didn't.
05:12 It's kind of nice just looking down on people as they walk by.
05:14 That's half the fun of first class is just knowing you're in first class.
05:18 They kind of call you and you just kind of, "Oop!"
05:19 You just scooch up to the front and let people know.
05:21 Yeah, that's a good feeling.
05:23 I usually just turn my head because I don't want anyone recognizing me.
05:26 In the airport, yeah.
05:27 Oh, my God.
05:28 Last time we went to Florida, do you remember the air--
05:31 I walked in, Joey texts me, he's like, "I gotta lay low."
05:34 I go, "Why?"
05:35 He goes, "I'm hungover."
05:36 I go, "Okay."
05:37 I walk into Delta Lounge on our way to Florida.
05:40 Joey has a tripod set up like 10 feet from where his table is, and he's live.
05:48 He's doing a live review of the terminal food.
05:51 He goes, "Nana got a boiled egg," and I walk in.
05:53 He's all disheveled in the fucking tripod.
05:55 That's another reason I love her, because I love a lounge.
05:58 Oh, yeah.
05:59 There's a new one at--
06:01 A new lounge for Centur--
06:03 Not Centurio, what's--
06:05 A new lounge for--
06:06 Illegals, it's called PS113 in Brooklyn.
06:08 Chase Lounge, there's a new Chase Sapphire Reserve Lounge, and they have caviar.
06:12 But you have to rent it out.
06:13 Once you're in the lounge, you have to pay $3,000 to have this suite.
06:16 It holds six people, and it's sweet.
06:18 There's a massage parlor in there.
06:20 That's the biggest waste of money I've ever heard in my life.
06:22 There's a spa, there's caviar service, there's champagne.
06:24 It's very, very she-she.
06:26 I think the regular lounge is still nice, but if you want that experience, you can do that too.
06:30 I don't think there's lounges in the JetBlue that we're going to.
06:33 We're going down on JetBlue, and I looked.
06:35 There might be an Amex lounge, but I don't think anything is in that.
06:38 I'm not worried about a little trip to Florida.
06:41 I'm talking about international trips and stuff.
06:43 International trips to Moscow, to Bangladesh, Pakistan.
06:49 What's one I'd like to go to?
06:51 Bangladesh.
06:52 Yes.
06:53 I'm going to get my furs.
06:54 Now, the treasure don't will fog the vision.
06:58 [laughter]
07:00 Now, Nana will be hazy on the show.
07:03 Liam's very excited to go to Latino night down there.
07:07 There's a Latino night, and they didn't invite me.
07:10 Oh.
07:11 Well, you had a birthday party for 300 people, and you didn't invite me.
07:14 Yeah, what is that about Diego?
07:16 That was your birthday party?
07:18 My friend went there.
07:20 I heard through the grapevine.
07:22 If you invite them to your birthday party, they won't go.
07:24 They won't go to your birthday party.
07:25 That's why they didn't invite you.
07:26 They didn't invite me to your birthday party.
07:27 I will go back to our text, and I said, "Are you coming?"
07:29 Private text.
07:30 Yes.
07:31 With just you two?
07:32 Oh.
07:33 I guess I can just go fuck myself then.
07:34 You had a wedding.
07:35 I did have a wedding.
07:36 I don't know.
07:37 You wouldn't want to hang out with us.
07:38 That's fucked up.
07:39 I said, "Are you coming tomorrow?"
07:41 Call them out, Diego.
07:42 Show them their receipts.
07:43 Don't let them get sick shit.
07:44 It's a Friday at 158, and then I said, "Why don't you invite me and Sam over on Saturday?"
07:49 I thought coming tomorrow meant my Super Bowl party.
07:52 No.
07:53 I said, "Are you coming tomorrow?"
07:55 No.
07:56 I said, "Are you coming tomorrow?"
07:57 You sent your shoes, and I said, "Are you coming with tomorrow?"
08:00 Then he didn't respond to you.
08:02 No response.
08:03 Wow.
08:04 I probably didn't see it.
08:05 Wow.
08:06 I wanted to go.
08:07 I was wondering why I wasn't invited.
08:08 I texted you.
08:09 We're clearly invited.
08:10 Anyway, so you had this birthday party, and everyone went to it.
08:12 Except us.
08:13 I heard that it was so packed.
08:14 It was over 300 people.
08:16 You have 300 friends?
08:18 Well, you're a DJ.
08:19 No, I'm not.
08:20 Was it Bo?
08:21 He was invited.
08:22 He ended up not coming, though.
08:23 Damn, he was in Aspen and Montauk, probably, where he travels between.
08:28 Your 21st birthday, if this was?
08:29 No, 23rd.
08:30 It was a quinceanera, Joey.
08:31 He didn't come to my quince.
08:33 Did you have a quince?
08:34 No.
08:35 I was in this girl in high school.
08:36 Boys have it, too?
08:37 Oh, yeah.
08:38 This girl in high school, she had a quinceanera, and then didn't have a whole date for it,
08:44 but she invited all my friends.
08:45 So you ran a train on her?
08:46 Were you in a quince court?
08:48 So I was like, "All right, you need a date.
08:50 I'll be your date to do it."
08:52 Because all my friends, we'd take dance classes, and I'd do it in front of our whole family.
08:56 Would you mind showing us some moves?
08:57 No, I don't do that.
08:58 I'm retired from that.
08:59 Diego, I would be truly honored if you'd step up and maybe-
09:02 I took an African dance class, too.
09:03 Oh, so did he.
09:05 That's why he's wearing that outfit.
09:08 How funny.
09:09 I took an African dance class, too.
09:11 Do you want to see the move I learned?
09:13 Yeah.
09:14 Which one is it?
09:16 Just do it.
09:17 Is it?
09:18 I don't know.
09:19 Oh, God.
09:20 Oh, wait.
09:21 First, oh, it's palms up.
09:23 You do it by the ja-
09:25 Oh!
09:29 Yeah, they didn't teach me that one.
09:35 This is- You can hear the breath.
09:38 You can hear the breath.
09:40 You go, "Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah."
09:41 That was my African dance-
09:43 That was the dance I learned in African dance class.
09:48 What's it called?
09:49 You know, I can't pronounce without removing my tongue, but it was-
09:53 That was the dance move.
09:55 And still to this day, I remember it.
09:56 You have that in your bag?
09:57 If I had the drum beat behind it, I could have-
10:00 Can we put a drum beat behind it?
10:02 I am winded.
10:04 Can you take it over to that?
10:06 I saw he did two intervals, and then I saw the breath start to go.
10:10 "Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah."
10:13 Well, that is actually sad, Diego, that we weren't invited.
10:15 How many people do you think were actually there?
10:17 Max, probably like 100.
10:19 No, so 100 people?
10:21 I'm actually insulted I didn't get invited.
10:22 What was the venue?
10:23 People-
10:24 You can't say you got invited.
10:25 Diego, I would have canceled my wedding to be there.
10:27 The vibe was- All my friends were calling me saying, "We have to get out of there.
10:29 It was so packed."
10:30 We might go back a little bit today.
10:31 People were leaving, going to other bars to take a breath and then go back to the party.
10:35 It wasn't that bad.
10:36 How many- Was it in a club?
10:37 Where was the venue?
10:38 It was at Kind Regards.
10:39 Kind Regards.
10:40 Lower East Side.
10:41 Ah, Kind Regards.
10:42 Did you have a special VIP booth?
10:44 No.
10:45 You were just out amongst the people?
10:46 I'm a man of the people.
10:47 Damn.
10:48 What did Bae think?
10:49 She had a good time.
10:50 Was she impressed?
10:51 Yeah.
10:52 Did you rent out the whole bottom part of Kind Regards you're saying?
10:55 No, just the top part of it.
10:57 Oh, okay.
10:58 So, the first part when you first walk in.
10:59 Is it outside or inside?
11:00 It's inside.
11:01 It's inside.
11:02 How many drinks did you have?
11:03 Over or under 10?
11:04 Probably over 10.
11:05 I was so drunk.
11:06 Over or under 15?
11:07 Probably, yeah.
11:08 Probably 15.
11:09 What were you drinking?
11:10 Anything that people- I wasn't buying my own drink.
11:11 People were buying me drinks.
11:12 A Modelo?
11:13 I shot a Modelo on my patio this week.
11:14 What?
11:15 This weekend.
11:16 Why?
11:17 The boys came over.
11:18 We were getting after it.
11:19 Yes.
11:20 And me and Sam weren't invited.
11:21 You were invited.
11:22 That's actually-
11:23 After the fact.
11:24 That's actually-
11:25 After I invited myself over.
11:26 It was your birthday party night.
11:27 Yeah, and you didn't invite us.
11:28 I had the after party for his party.
11:29 Yeah.
11:30 That's what that was?
11:31 You didn't invite me.
11:32 The night before Super Bowl, I had like, "Hey, I'm going to have a party."
11:33 I was like, "Oh, okay."
11:35 That's what that was?
11:36 You didn't invite me.
11:37 The night before Super Bowl, I had like, 25, 22 year olds in my house.
11:41 That's your dream.
11:42 It's my dream as well.
11:43 Well, I put the girls to work.
11:44 What do you mean?
11:45 I mean, they cleaned my house.
11:46 Oh, the people who came over?
11:47 Yeah, well, the women that came over.
11:48 The girls were the guys.
11:49 You go, "All right, ladies.
11:50 Let's let the gentlemen do their thing.
11:51 We're going to hop in the kitchen real quick."
11:52 Yeah, I said, "You didn't see the video?"
11:53 No.
11:54 Oh my God, there was like four girls.
11:55 The grates of my stove opened and they were like, cleaning stuff.
11:56 I had pulled pork on.
11:57 Well, Nana's got pulled pork.
11:58 Nana has pulled pork on.
12:00 You got to be careful.
12:01 I think I'm sensing some tension between you and Diego over these invites.
12:02 No.
12:03 Yeah, he didn't invite me.
12:04 Oh, he says yes, you say no.
12:05 I didn't think you were going to come because you had a ...
12:06 You faded me.
12:07 People were coming to my house to escape your party.
12:08 You faded me.
12:09 Then he curved me.
12:10 He did a full curve.
12:11 Ghosted me.
12:12 I breezed him.
12:13 It's called breezing.
12:14 I chirped him.
12:15 Chirped?
12:16 That's a hard ...
12:17 I breezed him.
12:18 I mean them.
12:19 I don't know.
12:20 I mean, I think there should be a round two.
12:21 Maybe you can make it up to him this weekend.
12:22 I don't know.
12:23 I don't know.
12:24 I don't know.
12:26 I mean, I think there should be a round two.
12:27 Maybe you can make it up to him this weekend.
12:28 We're going to be in Florida.
12:29 Would you invite Diego to your birthday?
12:30 Yes.
12:31 I probably wouldn't go though because he didn't come to mine.
12:32 I think it's a theme.
12:33 I think we shouldn't go to parties of each other's because I invited ...
12:34 You're going to bring the drama to work.
12:35 I invited everyone to my Super Bowl party and no one came.
12:36 Maybe that's why he didn't come to my Super Bowl party because I didn't come to your birthday
12:37 party.
12:38 Exactly why I didn't come.
12:39 Lot of tension.
12:40 The theme is Diego and Joey refuse their invites.
12:41 I'm not going to say anything.
12:42 I'm not going to say anything.
12:43 I'm not going to say anything.
12:44 I'm not going to say anything.
12:45 I'm not going to say anything.
12:46 I'm not going to say anything.
12:47 I'm not going to say anything.
12:48 I'm not going to say anything.
12:49 I'm not going to say anything.
12:50 I'm not going to say anything.
12:51 I'm not going to say anything.
12:52 I'm not going to say anything.
12:53 I'm not going to say anything.
12:54 I'm not going to say anything.
12:55 I'm not going to say anything.
12:56 I'm not going to say anything.
12:57 I'm not going to say anything.
12:58 I'm not going to say anything.
12:59 I'm not going to say anything.
13:00 I'm not going to say anything.
13:01 I'm not going to say anything.
13:02 I'm not going to say anything.
13:03 I'm not going to say anything.
13:04 I'm not going to say anything.
13:05 I'm not going to say anything.
13:06 I'm not going to say anything.
13:07 I'm not going to say anything.
13:08 I'm not going to say anything.
13:09 I'm not going to say anything.
13:10 I'm not going to say anything.
13:11 I'm not going to say anything.
13:12 I'm not going to say anything.
13:13 I'm not going to say anything.
13:14 I'm not going to say anything.
13:15 I'm not going to say anything.
13:16 I'm not going to say anything.
13:17 I'm not going to say anything.
13:18 I'm not going to say anything.
13:19 I'm not going to say anything.
13:20 I'm not going to say anything.
13:21 I'm not going to say anything.
13:22 I'm not going to say anything.
13:23 I'm not going to say anything.
13:24 I'm not going to say anything.
13:25 I'm not going to say anything.
13:26 I'm not going to say anything.
13:27 I'm not going to say anything.
13:28 I'm not going to say anything.
13:29 I'm not going to say anything.
13:30 I'm not going to say anything.
13:31 I'm not going to say anything.
13:32 I'm not going to say anything.
13:33 I'm not going to say anything.
13:34 I'm not going to say anything.
13:35 I'm not going to say anything.
13:36 I'm not going to say anything.
13:37 I'm not going to say anything.
13:38 I'm not going to say anything.
13:39 I'm not going to say anything.
13:40 I'm not going to say anything.
13:41 I'm not going to say anything.
13:42 I'm not going to say anything.
13:43 I'm not going to say anything.
13:44 I'm not going to say anything.
13:45 I'm not going to say anything.
13:46 I'm not going to say anything.
13:47 I'm not going to say anything.
13:48 I'm not going to say anything.
13:49 I'm not going to say anything.
13:50 I'm not going to say anything.
13:52 I want one of those, but I also want...
13:54 I'd like the light flavor.
13:56 I'd also...
13:57 You do?
13:58 Fruit punch.
13:59 You're a fruit nerd.
14:00 She's a fruit queen.
14:01 I don't know.
14:02 I'm glad you guys were able to work it out.
14:04 Diego has like this hockey player hairdo.
14:06 He does.
14:07 I think he's actually...
14:08 The funny thing about Diego is he's actually upset.
14:12 I can see it in his face.
14:14 About the after party of your party.
14:16 No, you not going.
14:17 No, about the income.
14:18 Would it have been weird if I showed up?
14:19 No.
14:20 We would have been together.
14:21 That would have been awesome.
14:22 I figured I wasn't invited because...
14:24 Everyone would be like...
14:25 I don't know if you young whippersnappers can handle
14:28 Nan and Trish at full tilt.
14:30 Not many people can.
14:31 At full octane.
14:32 Liam Crowley came.
14:34 Sam's there.
14:35 Liam told me.
14:36 A lot of them are there.
14:37 You handled old Nan and Trish coming in at full throttle.
14:39 I got Kareem to come.
14:40 Who?
14:41 That was weird.
14:42 I got Kareem to come to the party.
14:43 Oh my Diego.
14:44 Pause.
14:45 Pause.
14:46 Pause.
14:47 Pause.
14:48 Are they cold?
14:49 No.
14:50 They're warm.
14:51 Many people like to invite me and Joey to places,
14:52 but once old Nan and Trish get going...
14:53 I'll take one.
14:54 We're here to talk to you about NASCAR.
14:56 Joey and I are going down there this weekend,
14:58 this Saturday, February 17th,
14:59 the Barstool Sports Tailgate in the Midway
15:01 at the Daytona International Speedway.
15:03 Come see myself, Joey, Large, and Spider
15:05 from Rubbin' His Racing, KFC Radio,
15:07 and KFC and Final Word from KFC Radio.
15:10 It's going to be awesome.
15:11 They're also going to have Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson there.
15:13 He's the Grand Marshal, Joe.
15:14 That's right.
15:15 The pre-concert featuring Pitbull,
15:16 Star Drivers, Chase Elliott, Ryan Blaney,
15:18 Denny Hamlin, Ross Chastain, and Bubba Wallace.
15:21 And make sure to watch NASCAR Full Speed on Netflix.
15:23 You can watch your favorite drivers
15:25 before they take on to the Daytona 500.
15:27 500 miles, 200 laps, 2 1/2 mile long track.
15:30 Ooh.
15:31 The most iconic race in motorsports.
15:32 Daytona 500 starts at 2.30 p.m. Eastern
15:35 on February 18th on Fox.
15:37 The Daytona 500 is the most iconic race in motorsports,
15:40 and it is finally here.
15:41 We're going to be there,
15:42 so make sure you tune in on February 18th
15:44 at 2.30 Eastern time on Fox.
15:46 Okay, I was thinking the other day,
15:48 you know, and this is a question for the group,
15:53 and at home,
15:54 I want you to comment down below what yours would be.
15:57 You know when you're in church,
15:59 and they offer you the body and blood of Christ?
16:03 The Eucharist, of course.
16:04 The Eucharist.
16:05 So it's like, this is the blood of Christ.
16:06 Yes.
16:07 This is the body of Christ.
16:08 Yes.
16:09 And the body of Christ is something you eat.
16:10 Yes.
16:11 The blood of Christ is something you drink.
16:12 Do you like the taste of it?
16:13 I loved it.
16:14 But that's what God's was.
16:16 It's a very telling of the time,
16:18 water and wine and bread.
16:19 Yep.
16:20 Nowadays, think about yourself.
16:21 If someone was to come to your church,
16:23 what would your body of Christ be,
16:24 and what would your blood of Christ be?
16:26 That represents Pat.
16:27 That represents Diego.
16:28 I figured mine out.
16:29 Mine would be--
16:30 Can I guess?
16:31 Can I guess?
16:32 No.
16:33 I'm going to tell--maybe.
16:34 What, your body of Christ is caviar on a bellini?
16:37 No.
16:38 My body of Christ is caviar on a Pringle--
16:42 Okay.
16:43 --with creme fraiche and chives.
16:46 I know what your blood of Christ is.
16:47 What?
16:48 It has to be red?
16:49 It's a chilled sauvignon blanc.
16:51 It could be anything.
16:52 Chilled sauvignon blanc.
16:53 No, no, no.
16:54 Diet Coke.
16:55 Could be--would be at a different time.
16:56 Yes.
16:57 That would be for the people that don't drink.
16:59 That would be the option for them
17:00 because I want them to get an essence of who I am.
17:02 Yeah.
17:03 So for the people that don't drink,
17:04 it would be an ice-cold Diet Coke from a can,
17:06 a chug from the can.
17:07 For the other drinks,
17:08 it would be an ice-cold glass of champagne.
17:12 That's pretty close.
17:14 So what would yours be, Pat?
17:16 Let me guess.
17:17 A McGillicuddy's?
17:18 Oh, I didn't even think of that.
17:19 An ice-cold McGillicuddy's?
17:20 A McGillicuddy's nip.
17:21 Yes.
17:22 And a bite of a chicken Caesar salad wrap.
17:26 No, not a bite of a chicken Caesar salad.
17:28 Yeah, no, it's a McGillicuddy's.
17:29 What would your food be?
17:30 I don't know what my food would be.
17:33 What's the body of Christ, the body of Trish?
17:35 The body of Trish.
17:37 What would it be?
17:38 It'd be cholesterol-heavy.
17:39 I mean, M&M's.
17:40 It would be M&M's.
17:41 It would be M&M's, yes.
17:42 A handful of M&M's.
17:43 A handful of M&M's and McGillicuddy's.
17:45 You know me better than I know me.
17:47 Body of Christ would be Diego, obviously,
17:49 a Chiquito, and a Coquito.
17:53 Obviously, a cheesy gordita crunch and a Chalupa.
17:57 What would your body of Christ be?
17:59 Probably an enchilada and Modelo.
18:03 You're not even kidding.
18:04 Yeah, no, probably something like that.
18:06 That heritage line runs thick.
18:08 Well, blood is thicker than water, baby.
18:10 It's called crema.
18:11 Vinny?
18:13 Body is easy.
18:14 It would be like, because it also fits the shape,
18:16 like a soppressata, like a hard salami,
18:18 like a little bit of that.
18:19 Oh, my God.
18:20 Slice that up.
18:22 And what would your body--
18:23 Go on, say it really slow, though.
18:25 And your blood of Christ would be body armor, flash, IV?
18:28 My blood of Christ would be body armor, flash, IV.
18:31 Okay.
18:32 Isn't that a good question?
18:33 I want to ask France.
18:34 We're going to ask France when he comes in.
18:36 I don't think I know what his would be.
18:38 But should that be the new thing to get to know guests on the show?
18:41 Yes, yes, I love that.
18:43 That's your segment, body of Christ, blood of Christ.
18:45 Oh, are you going to our friend's birthday?
18:47 We got a text about it yesterday.
18:49 It's a no-rules birthday party.
18:52 Suck her down.
18:53 Come on, keep going.
18:54 Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.
18:58 Oh, my God.
19:01 After my 12-hour nap--
19:03 No, you didn't take a nap, you took a slumber.
19:05 You know when you wake up from a coma--
19:07 And you're dehydrated from mouth breathing the whole time without your CPAP machine?
19:11 You forget your CPAP hasn't cleaned out, you wake up.
19:14 I got to re-disinfect my hoses.
19:17 Otherwise--
19:19 This is so refreshing.
19:20 I want to be sponsored by a CPAP company.
19:22 How great would that be?
19:23 I'm not allowed to get one.
19:24 Basically, you leave me.
19:26 He would rather you die in your sleep than--
19:29 He'd rather me not be a fat, disgusting slob who doesn't watch where the ear work out.
19:33 It goes just over your nose, right?
19:34 You go--
19:35 My dad has one of these.
19:37 You can get one installed.
19:40 Yeah, my dad has one of these.
19:41 They can put a breathing device in your esophagus or something so it works.
19:47 They'll have to strap two together for me.
19:49 I haven't breathed out of my nose freely in probably eight or nine years.
19:57 Now, when the bear arises from her hibernation--
20:02 It's so good.
20:03 Do you just cough?
20:04 It's only 80 calories.
20:05 It's the best.
20:06 Chug the rest.
20:07 Go ahead.
20:08 Get her down.
20:09 Like when Trump said, "Go ahead.
20:10 Spit out the question.
20:11 What do you want?
20:12 Go ahead.
20:13 Knock her down.
20:14 Drink the whole thing."
20:15 I want to savor the flavor.
20:16 We have unlimited--
20:17 Can you tell me about a party?
20:18 Yes.
20:19 It doesn't say where it is.
20:20 Our good friend Noah--
20:21 You know where this place--
20:22 I don't know if we're allowed to bleep out [beep]
20:23 Do you know what [beep] is?
20:24 [beep] is a venue.
20:25 He's rented it out, and he sent me and Joey a text from our good friend.
20:28 It said, "All caps.
20:29 Come to my all caps, no rules birthday party."
20:32 When this motherfucker says no rules--
20:34 Is there really no rules?
20:37 I don't have to show up.
20:40 That's the rule.
20:41 That's the rule.
20:42 I thought there were no rules.
20:43 You don't even have to go.
20:44 I'm going to go.
20:45 What does no rules at a birthday party mean to you, Diego?
20:49 Doing lines on the bar.
20:51 Interesting.
20:52 That's a good answer.
20:53 That's the first thing I'm thinking about is open drug policy.
20:55 Open drug policy.
20:56 That's one rule.
20:57 I'm thinking no rules.
20:58 Can I--
20:59 Girls have their tops off, guys have their pants off.
21:02 I'm not thinking about debauchery.
21:04 I'm thinking about more logisticals.
21:06 Does that mean I'm allowed to sneak into the kitchen, open the fridge, start eating?
21:10 No rules.
21:12 You go, "I heard there was no rules."
21:14 You raid the court.
21:15 I heard there was a fridge.
21:16 Can I go into the--
21:18 See the thread count on the sheets there?
21:20 You're frying an egg.
21:21 There were no rules.
21:22 I'm thinking about what I could get away with that while.
21:25 You have the clicker.
21:26 You're changing the music.
21:27 No rules.
21:28 You're like, "Boop!"
21:29 Switch the lights.
21:30 I'm not thinking about debauchery.
21:31 I do those things anyway.
21:32 What is this new thing?
21:33 People have no rules parties?
21:35 This place I went to that my sister reserved for dinner was crazy.
21:39 A restaurant?
21:40 A no rules restaurant?
21:41 Yeah.
21:42 People were on the table drinking bottles of wine.
21:44 Did you do it?
21:45 Yeah.
21:46 You got buck wild?
21:47 It was crazy.
21:48 So the restaurant is promoting no rules?
21:50 There was no rules at this place.
21:52 That's what my question is.
21:54 It's a new thing.
21:55 It's a new thing.
21:56 Is this like a party?
21:58 What's the word I'm looking for?
22:00 It's a new theme.
22:02 It's a new, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:04 Is this a new theme that places and people are doing a no rules party?
22:07 It seems like very niche.
22:09 Is that the new vibe of what's going on in nightlife?
22:13 No rules?
22:14 I guess.
22:15 I don't know.
22:16 Literally, there was-
22:17 Oh, yeah.
22:18 That's just like a turn up.
22:19 It's like a club.
22:20 It was crazy.
22:21 But you're doing club behavior with no bouncers in places that aren't clubs like a restaurant.
22:25 It's like a restaurant turned into a club.
22:27 I'm going to burn this mother down next Saturday.
22:29 I'm ready.
22:30 I think that the place-
22:31 I want to go.
22:32 Will you go?
22:33 No.
22:34 You're going to go.
22:35 I'm not going to go.
22:36 Bring Bay.
22:37 That would be so fun.
22:38 I bet he would eat it up.
22:39 That's like his vibe.
22:40 I'm not doing-
22:41 I just recently started therapy.
22:42 Not therapy.
22:43 I recently started rehabilitation.
22:44 For your trichotomy?
22:45 For narcotics.
22:46 You can go out and not do narcotics.
22:47 Not necessarily my treatment.
22:48 You're right.
22:49 You have to isolate yourself.
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23:51 So Trish, Valentine's Day was this week.
23:53 How was it?
23:54 Your first Valentine's Day as a single black female.
23:57 Relaxing.
23:58 It was nice.
23:59 I'm not a holiday, like I'm not a crazy-
24:00 You were huffing poppers.
24:02 I was huffing poppers.
24:03 I was gooning.
24:04 I was edging.
24:05 You are a guy who likes holidays, who buys, like who gets off on that.
24:09 Like I don't fucking care about Valentine's Day.
24:11 This year, I'm not, Valentine's is not one of them.
24:14 I'm not allowed to.
24:15 Good.
24:16 You need to cut back.
24:17 You've been throwing so many parties.
24:18 No, no, no, not about that.
24:19 It's just that I told you last Valentine's Day, my partner thought it was about like
24:30 couples on the brink of divorcee just like trying to like rekindle the flame by buying
24:36 like roses and chocolate.
24:37 He thought it was like a trashy holiday.
24:39 I think it is kind of trashy.
24:41 Oh, it's the most trashy holiday.
24:42 Valentine's Day?
24:43 Yeah.
24:44 Red?
24:45 Lace?
24:46 You ever heard a guy say like, "Oh, what do you want for Valentine's Day?
24:48 Oh, I want a blowjob."
24:49 Or, "Oh, I want to put it in their butt."
24:51 That's what he said to you.
24:52 That's what Finney said to me.
24:54 That's a thing.
24:55 Sexual favors are an actual gift on Valentine's Day.
24:57 I think it's sentimental.
24:58 It's like, you know, I think it's something that celebrates your love for each other.
25:01 It doesn't have to be something like sexual or filthy or dirty.
25:03 Just a reminder of like how appreciative you are.
25:07 Like Mother's Day, it's like you do something to appreciate the person you love.
25:11 So it's the same thing as like Mother's Day or Father's Day.
25:13 It's just honoring the person that you're – your partner who you love.
25:16 So I think it's doing small things.
25:18 It's doing like simple things.
25:19 It doesn't have to be overly romantic.
25:20 It's like get a basket of their favorite shit.
25:23 Like it's random.
25:24 Like this kind of candy from the store.
25:26 This is their favorite body lotion.
25:27 This is their favorite everyday thing.
25:29 So it's – or something that you share in common together like, "Oh my god, we bonded
25:33 over fucking these nachos when we first met."
25:36 And then you go back to like that place that you get those nachos at.
25:38 Something that like represents you guys as a couple or something that – what they mean to you.
25:43 So it's like just a little sentimental shit.
25:44 It doesn't have to be over the top.
25:45 Everyone automatically does the most fancy things you want to do in the world.
25:49 Like if you're champagne, caviar, fucking steaks for two and fucking, you know, and like dance,
25:58 like romantic music is your fucking love language, then fucking do that.
26:01 But if it's fucking cheeseburgers, fucking watching old episodes of Roseanne and getting pedicures,
26:08 then do that.
26:10 There's something for everyone.
26:11 Yeah.
26:12 It doesn't have to be the cliche thing like Christmas.
26:14 It has to be red and green.
26:15 It has to be like red with hearts and all that shit.
26:18 It doesn't have to be themes like that.
26:19 It has to be personal to you.
26:20 It doesn't matter if you're celebrating the person you love.
26:21 Yeah.
26:22 I want to talk to you.
26:23 There's a massive news story about one of your favorite people on earth, our good friend Rachel Dolezal.
26:27 Oh, what is she up to?
26:28 Well, as you know, she was the leader of the NAACP.
26:31 I call her Raquel Dolezal.
26:33 Raquel Dolezal.
26:34 She has changed her name.
26:37 She is now a teacher.
26:39 Is her name more black than Rachel?
26:42 She is also posting on her new name.
26:45 Oh, God, her new name is Nicaia Delayo.
26:48 Is that a Nubian name?
26:49 Correct.
26:50 It's N-K-E-C-H-I-D-I-A-L-O.
26:54 She is now posting on OnlyFans.
26:56 Word, bitch.
26:57 And teaching as well.
26:58 Look at this photo of her.
27:00 This is literally the lingerie that you own, that bottom left.
27:04 That's her?
27:06 Yeah.
27:07 What do you think?
27:08 Smash.
27:09 Really?
27:10 You'd smash a racially ambiguous woman.
27:13 Wait, tell me her first name again.
27:16 Nicaia Delayo.
27:19 Should we buy her OnlyFans?
27:21 I was wondering.
27:22 She really needs to commit to the role.
27:23 She's going to change that name.
27:24 I remember a black lady named Rachel.
27:26 I haven't.
27:28 I've never met a black lady.
27:29 Can you Google black lady named Rachel and see what comes up?
27:32 Famous black lady named Rachel.
27:33 He's texting his friends right now.
27:35 Why do you have...
27:36 There's photos of just CPAPs on his fucking back.
27:39 He's got medical fetish.
27:40 I thought there was a...
27:41 That's the dream, baby.
27:42 There's a black Rachel on The Bachelor, I'm pretty sure.
27:44 I could be making that up.
27:45 I want to go on The Bachelor.
27:47 It's literally the first one that comes.
27:49 It's the only black Rachel on The Bachelor.
27:50 I knew it.
27:51 You want me to buy her OnlyFans right now?
27:55 Yeah.
27:56 You want to see what Rachel Dolezal is doing on OnlyFans?
27:59 Imagine she dyed her pussy brown.
28:01 Oh, Jesus.
28:06 Everything is white, but she's got a black vagina.
28:10 Let's see.
28:11 How much do you think Rachel Dolezal?
28:13 $14.99.
28:15 I'm going to say $15.99.
28:17 Do you buy any OnlyFans?
28:18 Whoever's closest to that going over.
28:21 Oh, what's her name?
28:22 Her name is...
28:23 Is Nikita.
28:24 I think it's going to be way higher.
28:25 I bet it's like $50.
28:26 The highest you can go is $29.99.
28:28 Really?
28:29 Is that true?
28:30 Then $20.
28:31 No, it's $20 I think I'm on.
28:32 Does anyone know what her actual thing is?
28:33 I've got to find her actual username.
28:34 I've never bought any OnlyFans.
28:35 That's crazy because you're all over the website.
28:39 All right, her name...
28:42 They don't link her OnlyFans?
28:44 That's rude.
28:46 Oh, she also posted on her Amazon wish list.
28:49 She's copying me.
28:51 RachelDolezal.com/more.
28:54 Look at...
28:56 You see her nipples?
28:57 Does she have brown nipples?
28:58 Her website is fucking...
29:01 Oh, you got viruses now.
29:02 It's a virus.
29:03 Her website is infecting my computer.
29:05 I just had to X out.
29:06 No way.
29:07 Hold on.
29:08 That's insane.
29:10 Anyway, who cares?
29:12 You're really just going to...
29:14 I have a virus on my computer now.
29:15 It says Mac is getting scammed.
29:16 Mac is getting scammed.
29:18 We have a guest on today.
29:20 Ebony doesn't like this guest.
29:24 She doesn't like him at all.
29:25 We love Francis.
29:26 He's going to answer a bunch of listener questions you guys had for him.
29:29 I'm going to get one out of the way right now.
29:31 What kind of questions are people asking?
29:32 Yes, he is married.
29:33 He is not single.
29:34 Everyone wants to know if Francis is single.
29:36 Really?
29:37 He's married.
29:38 I think Francis is a good-looking guy.
29:39 Oh, yeah.
29:40 I guess he's...
29:41 What's the word I'm looking for?
29:45 Generically good-looking?
29:46 Not generally.
29:47 You know what I mean?
29:50 What's the word?
29:51 Traditional?
29:52 Traditionally good-looking?
29:53 Anglo-Saxon.
29:54 Yeah, I can see how people think he's attractive.
29:58 All right.
29:59 Well, let's get Francis in here.
30:00 All right.
30:01 We're here with Francis Ellis.
30:02 Good friend of mine.
30:03 Long friend of mine.
30:04 Not a friend of Ebony's, apparently.
30:07 Yeah, I guess that's...
30:10 I learned that.
30:11 I thought we were in good shape, but you can't win them all.
30:15 We asked our listeners to ask you questions.
30:18 90% of them were, "Is he single?
30:21 "What's going on with Ebony?"
30:22 Now, luckily, we get thousands, so I was able to comb out some other ones as well that we're going to ask.
30:26 Hundreds of thousands.
30:27 Hundreds of thousands.
30:30 Joey's a bit foggy right now because he took two Triazodone last night and slept for 13 hours straight.
30:35 Wow.
30:36 So if there's a lag...
30:38 That's okay.
30:39 We're basically in a real-life Zoom right now.
30:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:42 If you speak, it takes a minute for things to catch up, and then he'll respond.
30:47 If you can just sit in the silence, you will get comfortable with it after a minute or two.
30:50 There might be a delay.
30:51 There might be a delay.
30:52 I don't have a problem with that.
30:54 How's everything going with you?
30:56 It's good.
30:57 I'm well.
30:58 I'm feeling good.
30:59 Kind of.
31:00 I don't know.
31:01 Are you tan or is that high blood pressure?
31:02 You know, thank you.
31:04 It's certainly not high blood pressure, but it would be probably that I was out skiing this past weekend,
31:11 so I got a little bit of sun on my face.
31:13 Now, poor people don't understand.
31:15 I mean, I never went skiing.
31:17 Poor people don't understand how do you get sunburn on the ski while you're skiing,
31:22 but legend has it is you're higher to the sun because you're in an elevated area.
31:27 Not quite, but that could be part of the reason.
31:34 Actually, I don't...
31:35 Legend has it he might not be wrong.
31:37 The air is thinner.
31:38 There's, I don't know.
31:39 I thought it was a reflection off the snow.
31:40 I think it's probably that.
31:42 I think it's probably more that, but there may be truth to both.
31:45 People don't think you can get tan in the cold because people are like, you know,
31:47 "Well, I'm not at the beach. How am I getting tan?"
31:50 Well, man has lived by the higher the hair, the closer to heaven for many years,
31:53 so that's where she got that.
31:55 Where were you skiing?
31:56 I was at Vail, Beaver Creek, actually.
31:59 Beaver Creek.
32:00 With the...
32:01 So, Yehigo, believe it or not, was also at Beaver Creek this weekend.
32:03 Oh, a little beaver searcher over there.
32:06 That's his nickname for his girlfriend.
32:08 Beaver diving.
32:10 Good for you, Diego.
32:11 I didn't know you rolled that way.
32:13 You know Diego had a birthday...
32:14 Were you invited to Diego's birthday party this weekend?
32:16 No, I wasn't, but that's okay, because we don't know each other that well.
32:21 [laughter]
32:23 You don't take everything personally, like us?
32:26 No, and I don't like getting invited to things.
32:31 Me either.
32:32 I don't like getting invited to things.
32:34 To not be invited is the greatest gift.
32:36 You like to have your alone time.
32:38 Yeah, I think it's one of my--
32:40 If I had a superpower, it is that I do not feel FOMO ever.
32:46 I don't suffer FOMO at all.
32:50 But when you were younger, you probably did.
32:52 Yeah, probably when I was younger, but it's one of those things I just kicked.
32:55 I don't care about-- I don't really-- I don't enjoy going out really anymore.
32:59 It's not really something I look forward to.
33:02 It just stresses me out, knowing that I'll have a hangover the next day,
33:05 because I'm obviously going to drink too much.
33:08 So that's kind of where I'm at in my life.
33:09 You're toting the shit back, too.
33:11 Yes.
33:12 Well, I never liked going out.
33:14 I always liked having my party at my house.
33:16 Yeah, well, now you can.
33:17 That's nice.
33:18 That's called being a grown-up.
33:20 Well, it's also-- you create your own environment.
33:22 Like, you take a chance when you go places,
33:24 being surrounded by annoying people, not having a chair,
33:28 not having the right liquor that you like.
33:30 All the factors in your home, you create your environment
33:33 and the people who are around you.
33:35 It's just the better way of life.
33:37 I agree.
33:38 I think that the toll of getting home is far less--
33:43 is worse than the toll of cleaning up.
33:47 Because the toll of-- when you have people over,
33:49 the toll is cleaning up.
33:51 When you go elsewhere--
33:53 The toll is getting home, yep.
33:55 Let's ask you some questions.
33:56 These are from our listeners.
33:57 This is from a guy.
33:58 This might be a little bit more towards us.
34:00 "I've had zero luck dating and am being too vain about looks.
34:04 All the hot gays are so rude.
34:06 Help me."
34:07 "What should this guy do to get himself a date
34:09 when he thinks that everyone is rude?"
34:12 You're looking for the wrong things.
34:14 Who cares what they fucking look like?
34:16 It has nothing to do with looks.
34:18 Because in the long run, looks fucking fade
34:20 within the first 10 minutes.
34:21 And then you have to deal with their annoying fucking ass.
34:24 If you're just trying to fuck,
34:26 then you just fuck the cockiness out of them.
34:29 You think that's a thing?
34:30 Yeah, I'm saying if you're just trying to have sex with these guys,
34:32 just have sex with them and then treat them like shit.
34:35 Because if they're cocky and they're acting like--
34:37 give them the taste of all the medicine,
34:38 if you're trying to date a guy,
34:39 it doesn't matter what they fucking look like.
34:41 Think about what's going to matter in the long run
34:43 about fucking dealing with them day to day
34:45 and falling in love with something besides them
34:47 because looks fucking fade, trust me.
34:50 He's right.
34:51 He's right.
34:52 He's right.
34:53 I mean, either this guy can't kick his vanity
34:56 and his high standards, then he needs to get hotter.
34:59 He's comparing himself to these people.
35:01 Yeah, don't compare yourself to anyone.
35:04 Also, you got to know your league.
35:05 You got to know your league.
35:06 If you're trying to kick too far out of your coverage,
35:08 that's probably why it's happening.
35:09 You have to know your league.
35:10 You need to date medium ugly.
35:11 Medium ugly is the best way to date.
35:13 Medium ugly is the best lay.
35:14 Francis, what's the best sunscreen?
35:16 Ooh, I mean, that's a good question.
35:19 I'm partial to the Neutrogena stuff.
35:23 I like Sheltz MD.
35:24 It's good, but there's all kinds of really cool ones
35:27 that people really like.
35:29 Dune Suncare is a cool one that I like.
35:32 Started by a friend of mine.
35:34 Plug.
35:35 And I like their stuff quite a lot,
35:38 but then sometimes I need a real--
35:42 I need like a 75 or something.
35:45 Helioplex, just things that I've never even heard of.
35:49 Yeah, Elta MD is my favorite sunscreen.
35:51 Yeah, there's a yellow one.
35:53 That's the Neutrogena.
35:55 No, what is it?
35:56 Supergoop.
35:57 Okay, maybe.
35:58 Supergoop's great too.
36:00 I don't feel like that's what it is.
36:02 Unscreen.
36:03 It's a yellow bottle with sort of red lettering
36:06 that everyone swears by.
36:08 The one thing that people don't realize
36:10 is that sunscreen expires,
36:12 and apparently once it expires,
36:14 you're not supposed to use it anymore.
36:15 Yeah, you have to buy it every year.
36:16 You can't buy it--
36:17 It's like buying not milk,
36:19 but what do you buy seldomly in a refrigerator
36:22 that you have to replace,
36:24 that's good for a few months, like mustard.
36:26 Hot sauce.
36:27 Yeah, they're not going to keep it for a year.
36:29 So it's like for a season.
36:30 So every summer, even if you have a lot left,
36:32 don't buy in bulk because unless you're going to use it,
36:34 it's going to go to waste.
36:35 Unless you have a big family,
36:36 never buy Costco size
36:37 because it's not going to last past the summer.
36:39 No.
36:41 What is the origin of your beef with ebony
36:43 and is it one-sided?
36:46 Oh, you know,
36:50 I like ebony.
36:53 I think she's hilarious.
36:57 That's not just like a political answer.
37:02 I didn't know really that she disliked me
37:06 as much as she did--
37:07 I think she's like kidding.
37:08 That may be true.
37:10 I think at one point, unfortunately,
37:13 I did do something that really rubbed her the wrong way
37:17 where I was in a very hurried moment
37:22 and I was looking for Erica
37:24 who I knew was leaving shortly
37:27 and I needed to have a word with her
37:29 about something that was important.
37:31 I can't remember what it was.
37:33 And I went to look for Erica outside of her door
37:38 and meeting in that communal lobby area,
37:42 and Ebony was there with a couple of young women
37:47 who work here,
37:49 but I was new again
37:51 and I didn't know them.
37:53 So I didn't really know their names.
37:55 And one of them was this lovely young producer
38:00 that had helped me with something peripherally,
38:04 but I got her name wrong
38:06 and I called her the name of another blonde producer
38:11 that she looked like
38:13 and I got her confused.
38:15 And then another person was like,
38:17 "Are you calling her that
38:18 because you think all of them look alike?"
38:21 And I said something like,
38:23 "I just can't deal with this right now.
38:25 I'm sorry. I'm in a rush."
38:26 And it really pissed Ebony off.
38:29 This is the origin.
38:31 It really made her angry.
38:33 What did she--
38:34 I think I just like--
38:35 She could run--
38:36 She confronted me a couple days later
38:37 and was like,
38:38 "Why would you talk to people like that?"
38:41 And I don't know if Ebony knew
38:43 that I was in a stressed moment
38:46 and that I was in a hurry
38:48 and I think she thought it was confirmation
38:51 of her worst feelings about me.
38:55 Which is that I thought.
38:56 You confused her?
38:57 That's so brutal.
38:58 Two blonde girls confused?
38:59 That's so brutal.
39:00 All blondes look the same.
39:01 Two blonde girls are confused.
39:02 There's like two blonde producers
39:04 that look very similar
39:06 and I hadn't been here very long
39:09 and I think maybe one of them's name is--
39:11 Honestly, I still don't know.
39:14 Which again, shame on me.
39:16 Yes, absolutely.
39:17 I don't know who anyone is here either.
39:18 But I don't know.
39:21 It was one of those things where I was like,
39:23 "I can't--
39:25 I can't deal with this right now."
39:28 I don't know what I said.
39:29 I was like,
39:30 "You're trying to play this game with me
39:32 and I can't do it."
39:34 You're busy.
39:35 Yeah, just like I came off
39:37 like I was better than it or something
39:39 and it was not a good look for me
39:41 and it was just one of those perfect storms
39:44 where I wish that if I could do it again,
39:47 I would either know the name correctly
39:49 or had taken the time to be like,
39:51 "I'm sorry that I mistook you for someone else.
39:55 I don't think that I am better than you guys."
39:58 and all that.
39:59 But I feel like from what you just said
40:01 that you handled it appropriately in the moment.
40:04 I think you said,
40:05 "I'm so sorry I confused you two."
40:07 You apologized right away.
40:08 I didn't say that.
40:09 Oh, you didn't apologize?
40:10 No, I was like--
40:11 they were like,
40:12 "What do you think that they all look alike?
40:14 You think she's this person?"
40:16 And you just were like, "Whatever."
40:17 And I was like, "Guys, I can't deal with this right now."
40:19 I think I said, "I don't care about this."
40:23 Whatever's happening right now,
40:25 I don't care.
40:26 Noted.
40:27 Noted. Okay, got it.
40:28 But I didn't mean like in general,
40:30 I would never care.
40:32 I meant like I am on a mission right now
40:37 and I can't handle this.
40:40 Also, it's okay not to care.
40:43 Yeah, but life is easier when you get it right.
40:48 Yes.
40:49 Have you talked to her since?
40:50 Who?
40:51 Ebony?
40:52 Yeah, so for weeks--
40:53 well, as I said,
40:54 then a couple days after that,
40:56 she confronted me about it
40:57 and read me my rights, basically.
41:01 And I was just like, "Oh, man."
41:05 She read you your rights.
41:06 This is bad.
41:07 Yeah, and then for weeks,
41:10 I don't think I came in that entrance
41:14 because I couldn't face the wrath of Ebony.
41:19 I was afraid.
41:20 You came in the back door like we usually do.
41:22 Yes.
41:23 I would go left and then say hi
41:27 to all the technical people.
41:29 And then finally, I kept running into her
41:34 and I realized that I was going to--
41:35 I just decided I was going to try to kill her with kindness.
41:38 And I also--
41:40 I like Ebony.
41:42 She's been here forever.
41:43 She's funny.
41:45 And I kept saying, "Hi, Ebony. Hi, Ebony."
41:49 Like, "Good morning. Good morning."
41:50 Eye contact.
41:51 And she would ignore me and then kind of--
41:53 [laughter]
41:56 Eventually, I think I--
41:58 Maybe I cracked the right joke or made her smile.
42:01 Yeah.
42:02 And I don't know.
42:03 Maybe I was--
42:04 I just kind of maybe worked my way back a little bit
42:07 and finally, I thought we were on good terms again.
42:11 And then I saw her on your podcast saying she hates me.
42:15 The worst rehire ever.
42:17 The worst rehire ever she gives you?
42:20 Yeah, you know.
42:22 But hopefully, that's not as meaningful.
42:28 Maybe she's just kind of playing it up.
42:31 I think she is.
42:32 But for the record, I like Ebony.
42:34 And if she hates me, I'm sad.
42:38 That's too bad. I like her.
42:39 You're going to have to live with it if she does.
42:41 Yeah.
42:42 Unfortunately.
42:43 Yeah, maybe I'll have to go back to taking the stairs again.
42:45 The next question we have is from a young lady.
42:47 It says, "I'm 34 and getting put into the friend zone."
42:49 I'm sorry.
42:50 "I'm 34 and getting put into the friends with benefits category by every man."
42:53 Why do you think that is?
42:57 I think that's--
43:00 That's just one of those things where my guess is
43:03 that she's probably not respecting herself enough.
43:06 Yeah.
43:07 And putting up kind of boundaries or, you know,
43:12 being too acquiescent too quickly.
43:15 This question is from Diego, actually.
43:17 [Laughter]
43:21 You know, I don't know.
43:24 I think that, like, women that don't want to be put in the friends with benefits category
43:32 will say things like, "You need to take me on a date,"
43:35 or, "I'm not just coming over for booty calls,"
43:38 or, like, it's not as easy to, you know--
43:42 So set some boundaries right away.
43:44 There's got to be more depth to the hangouts.
43:47 Like, "You need to talk to me. You need to get to know me."
43:52 We need to do clothed activities in addition to the physical.
43:59 Another question is, "Does the carpet match the drapes?"
44:03 What a fucking stupid question.
44:05 Has there ever been a person whose hair and pubic hair were, like, opposite colors?
44:12 Like, dark black?
44:14 What do you have? Jet white pubes?
44:16 No, no, I'm saying Anderson Cooper down below.
44:19 I think that that's, like, more so for people that dye their hair maybe.
44:22 Maybe.
44:24 Who wrote that question?
44:26 No.
44:28 But, like, why on earth would I have blue pubic hair?
44:34 Maybe you voted left.
44:36 I see some more stars with pink pubic hair, so you never know.
44:39 Do you think that Francis Carnegie would dye his hair?
44:43 No. You can't dye your hair because your hair matches your skin.
44:47 Imagine if Francis came in with, like, black hair.
44:49 No, that would be scary.
44:51 No, you can't dye your hair.
44:53 Selling a little cha-ching or a lot, Shopify has helped you do your thang.
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45:32 You got a bunch of stuff for your house from Shopify, didn't you?
45:35 I have three Shopify websites I have right now still.
45:39 I've always used them to sell my merch and things like that,
45:42 and it just makes it so easy.
45:44 Nicole, she has all her online store.
45:46 We've been using Shopify and my family for many moons.
45:49 It makes it so easy because I'm not a web designer,
45:51 but what I love about it is I can call them when I'm having trouble,
45:54 and the people walk you through it over the phone
45:56 and make it so easy to set everything up by changing the little pictures in the back.
45:59 I feel like a web developer when I'm done with it.
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46:39 How'd you meet your wife?
46:41 We were introduced by a very dear friend.
46:44 Oh, that's nice.
46:45 Who's married to one of my best friends.
46:49 So the couple, and now I'm godfather to their daughter.
46:51 I was going to say, you're still in touch with them and they all hang out and stuff.
46:53 And we're very, very close.
46:54 Oh, that's nice.
46:55 What a great beginning.
46:56 Yeah.
46:57 Yeah, we owe them a lot.
46:58 They were the primary credit receivers at our wedding.
47:02 How did that happen?
47:03 They were just like, "Hey, I want you to meet someone," and you just went on a date and that was it?
47:05 My buddy's wife, who is also a good friend of mine, has known me for years.
47:12 Fabulous story.
47:17 You just talk so slow.
47:19 I'm kidding.
47:20 I'm so high.
47:21 That was a question.
47:22 One was, "Why do you talk so slow?"
47:23 That was actually a question.
47:25 But we'll get to that after your--
47:26 I'll answer that because I think about what I'm saying.
47:30 I like that.
47:32 And then people say, "Well, why do you talk so slowly?"
47:35 And then people also say, "I wish that I spoke as well as he does."
47:40 People don't often say, "Can you say that again to me?"
47:44 They don't ask me to repeat myself.
47:46 They got it the first time.
47:48 You speak with intention.
47:50 You get fired for some dumb shit you say or write and then tell me that you wouldn't be a little more careful about what comes out of your fucking brain.
48:03 You lose your health care once, you slow it down a little.
48:07 Yeah.
48:08 On a national scale, Washington Post says that you slut shame a murdered girl.
48:13 Go ahead and fucking keep shooting from the hip.
48:19 No.
48:20 Forget it.
48:21 I'm not doing that anymore.
48:22 I hate people that talk fast.
48:24 I love speaking slow.
48:27 It's been in my vernacular for many years.
48:32 I speak with Maya Angelou.
48:33 I get confused for her all the time.
48:35 You do.
48:36 You do.
48:37 What were we saying about you and your wife?
48:40 Just that we were introduced.
48:41 I don't know.
48:43 You guys didn't like it, so let's move on.
48:45 Francis dressed the part for court and got out of a speeding ticket.
48:49 How should a lady dress for court?
48:51 Conservatively.
48:53 Yeah.
48:54 Would you ever start an OnlyFans?
48:56 It would depend on how much money I would think there was to make.
49:06 Yeah.
49:08 I've talked to you about it.
49:09 What's the number?
49:10 Over $25,000 a month?
49:12 It's really hard to say.
49:16 It's very hard to say because it's one of those things where I would fear certain people learning that I was doing it,
49:25 and yet you can't really grow it and promote it without everyone knowing.
49:31 So I don't know.
49:34 That would be a weird move.
49:35 It's probably a no, unfortunately.
49:37 I would say that straight white males have the hardest time making money in this country.
49:41 Yes.
49:43 I would agree.
49:44 Clip it and send it to Gaz for Maine.
49:48 What else do we have?
49:49 What else do you have going on?
49:50 You're not coming to Daytona with us.
49:51 You're going on tour.
49:52 You're on tour right now?
49:53 Yeah.
49:54 Say I'm on tour, I just go do shows on the weekends.
49:58 We brand it as a tour to try to sell more tickets.
50:01 You think that's smart, branding it as a tour?
50:03 Yeah, because then people think that they're part of something, which is great, even if it's all really spread out.
50:10 But I don't, you know, I really just go on the weekends.
50:15 Francis helped us out.
50:16 He gave us the names of all, instead of Googling good comedy clubs, I always just go up to Francis' desk and just ask him,
50:22 "What's the best club in each city?"
50:23 And we're working on our tour right now.
50:25 Where are we going?
50:27 We're going to Denver.
50:29 D.C.
50:30 D.C.
50:31 Denver's great.
50:32 Austin.
50:33 Atlanta.
50:34 Scottsdale, Atlanta, Minneapolis, and Los Angeles.
50:37 Wow, fabulous.
50:38 Where are you guys playing in L.A.?
50:40 I did Laugh Factory.
50:42 Yeah, good.
50:43 Yeah.
50:44 Cool.
50:45 That's a good one.
50:46 It's great.
50:47 Yeah.
50:48 It's OG.
50:49 Yeah, iconic backdrop.
50:50 What are you doing this weekend?
50:53 I'm performing in Albany.
50:55 Oh.
50:56 Why, what's--
50:57 Not state queen.
50:59 Yeah.
51:00 There's a regional dish up there called Chicken Riggies.
51:04 Is there?
51:05 What's that?
51:06 It's like a pasta dish with chicken in it.
51:09 It's a very regional dish.
51:11 Okay, cool.
51:12 I think it's from there.
51:13 I'll look for it.
51:14 I learned it when I used to watch Rachel Ray back in the day.
51:18 Interesting.
51:19 Chicken Riggies?
51:20 Yeah.
51:21 Up in Rochester, they have something famous called--
51:22 Is it Rochester?
51:23 Well, in Rochester, they have the garbage plate.
51:25 Oh, yeah, I know that.
51:26 Oh, yeah.
51:27 Which is a mess.
51:28 It's disgusting.
51:29 Where's it from?
51:30 Chicken Riggies or Utica Riggies is an Italian-American pasta dish native to the Utica, Rome area of
51:35 New York.
51:36 Is that-- That's not Utica, Rome.
51:37 It's Utica, Rome.
51:38 Sorry.
51:39 Chicken rigatoni, hot or sweet peppers in a spicy cream and tomato sauce.
51:43 Does sound pretty good.
51:44 It looks fantastic.
51:45 But that's not by where you're going.
51:46 No.
51:47 Joey, I have a question.
51:48 Yeah.
51:49 You're a great cook.
51:50 Yeah.
51:51 I love the idea of being a good cook, and I want to be a cooking.
51:57 And I can cook.
51:58 Yeah.
51:59 I'm able.
52:00 I cooked for many years for myself.
52:02 I don't order.
52:03 But I see lots of Instagram posts from home chefs who say, "This is my favorite thing
52:09 that I-- It's so easy."
52:11 And I'm like, "I'm going to make that.
52:12 I'm going to make that."
52:13 And I never do.
52:15 How can I get myself cooking more?
52:19 I would just get inspired by things.
52:21 I would try-- If you try something at a restaurant and it's like, "Oh, my God, amazing," challenge
52:26 yourself to kind of recreate that dish.
52:28 Especially if you're traveling around.
52:29 That's great.
52:30 You're traveling a lot for work, and you go to your wife, "Wow, I had this food.
52:32 My wife-- Wow, I had this fucking insane chicken dish at this restaurant."
52:35 And she wasn't there to have it with you.
52:37 It also not only makes it a great date night thing to kind of recreate that for someone
52:40 that wasn't there, but it's also-- Also, the good thing about it is she doesn't know how
52:44 close it was to the real thing because she wasn't there to have it.
52:47 Right.
52:48 So you kind of win both ways that way.
52:49 But also, you challenge yourself to recreate something that you like so much that you can
52:52 have again without being there.
52:54 So that's one way I like to get creative.
52:56 I was like, "Oh, my God, I can make this."
52:58 And you kind of-- Maybe you can ask some questions with the chef or the waitstaff there and see
53:05 what it is.
53:06 I think that's one thing.
53:07 And then just kind of get inspired by things that you can get creative with.
53:14 Like by breaking down a dish that was something that's so simple but changing it to something
53:18 that it's not.
53:20 Like changing a traditional pasta dish into a pizza or just kind of switching things up.
53:26 Using the same kind of ingredients or vibe of something.
53:29 Cool.
53:30 Yeah.
53:31 An application.
53:32 I'd like to-- I need to get out of the blocks.
53:34 Yeah.
53:35 I don't know what's holding me back, but it's frustrating.
53:38 And also going to places like out seeing other places besides the grocery store, going to
53:42 specialty places and just like, you know, whether it's like a fish market that's doing like
53:47 this really, really catch the fish.
53:49 You kind of go there and just speak with the local people.
53:51 It's like, "What would you do with this?"
53:52 And kind of get inspired by the ingredients and then like build it off that.
53:55 Like I got this amazing-- and there's a backstory.
53:57 This came from this purveyor that only does this and they make once a year.
54:01 Get very special ingredients and then you're able to kind of like just that in itself,
54:06 just preparing that simply is a monumental moment because it's something special that
54:12 you can't get every day.
54:13 That's really nice.
54:14 Yeah.
54:15 I'm very good at cocktails.
54:16 I love serving nice cocktails.
54:17 I'm not good at it.
54:18 I'm very good at that.
54:19 You?
54:20 I have a hard time balancing cocktails.
54:21 I either make them too strong.
54:22 The infusions I'm doing, you can't taste the flavors enough.
54:25 I always feel like my cocktails, a classic martini, yes, and a special martini, yes,
54:30 but like creative things where I'm trying to infuse flavors and--
54:32 Oh, you made me a blueberry puree something.
54:34 It's hit or miss.
54:35 It's hit or miss.
54:36 That's crazy.
54:37 You're talking about infusing stuff?
54:38 I don't need to go that far.
54:40 But if you can master a Negroni, a martini--
54:47 Yeah, those you can make.
54:48 --an old-fashioned or a Manhattan, a good margarita, and a gin, I don't know, one or
54:56 two other things, you don't really need to go too far beyond that.
55:00 I think people expect me to have the-- people know that I can make a regular bar cocktail.
55:05 I think people are expecting me to have something more creative, and every time I try to get
55:08 creative with it, I'm not as blown away with it.
55:11 It happens more times than you would think.
55:13 I think you have a really high standard for yourself, too.
55:16 Yeah.
55:17 He made me cocktails, and I mentioned-- I think it was the blueberry something at his
55:21 house.
55:22 He just went to the store, got blueberries, made this blueberry puree.
55:25 Sip of syrup.
55:26 Oh, wow.
55:27 Infused it with something, and it was phenomenal.
55:28 Oh, blueberry and thyme.
55:29 You took a sip, and you're like, "This isn't good."
55:31 I was like, "This is a top five cocktail I've ever had."
55:33 That's cool.
55:34 I don't know.
55:35 You know what I think the keys to good cocktails are, especially serving them to guests, are--
55:40 Good friends.
55:41 --ice.
55:42 Oh, yeah.
55:43 Ice, number one, and two-- Shut the fuck up.
55:45 What do you want?
55:46 What did you say?
55:47 I go, "Good friends."
55:49 And then two-- you know what I've gotten into, Joey, which I think you'll appreciate, is
55:53 crystalware.
55:54 Oh, yeah.
55:55 Baccarat.
55:56 I love Baccarat crystal.
55:57 Oh, my.
55:58 Yeah.
55:59 I'm trying to build a Baccarat collection.
56:00 Yes, I love my Baccarat crystal.
56:01 Do you have some Baccarat crystal?
56:02 Yes.
56:03 Don't put it in the dishwasher.
56:04 I shan't.
56:05 It'll snap.
56:06 It'll snap.
56:07 I love the-- Harmony is my favorite one, the triple old-fashioned.
56:10 Which one is it?
56:11 Triple old-fashioned Harmony.
56:12 It's a classic.
56:13 Okay.
56:14 Great.
56:15 I bought a variety set of four sort of rocks glasses.
56:18 One of each glass.
56:19 Well, it's four different types of rocks glasses, but there's a coupe that I have my eye on.
56:23 Yeah.
56:24 It's a coupe.
56:25 Comes in a set of two.
56:26 It's a rounded-- I'm sorry.
56:27 It's a rounded martini glass.
56:28 Your podcast.
56:29 I'm just living here.
56:30 Originally.
56:31 Yeah.
56:32 No, you guys, I'm enjoying this.
56:33 Please.
56:34 Originally, it was by Marie Antoinette.
56:35 She was drinking champagne out of it.
56:36 She felt that she couldn't get the essence of it.
56:37 But now, as time went on, we realized the flute is better.
56:40 Yes.
56:41 Well, that's right.
56:42 That's what they say, yes.
56:43 The flute reveals itself a bit more.
56:45 Oh, my God.
56:46 Pajiego reveals herself recently.
56:47 When she did invite us to her goddamn birthday party.
56:50 I did.
56:51 Is that the truth?
56:52 I forgot.
56:53 I was at a wedding.
56:54 You too.
56:55 Oh, what a couple of goofballs.
56:56 You guys should make cocktails together.
56:57 You should do like your--
56:58 I'd like that.
56:59 That'll be fun.
57:00 You should come over one day and have a dinner party.
57:01 Maybe I'll teach you to cook.
57:02 Why don't we do a video?
57:03 I'll teach you something to cook.
57:04 I'd love that.
57:05 I really would love that.
57:06 I'll bring out the good Baccarat.
57:07 Yes.
57:08 And we'll make a cocktail in Baccarat.
57:09 This is not a cocktail.
57:10 This is a cocktail.
57:11 Yes.
57:12 And we'll make a cocktail in Baccarat.
57:13 This is not an idle yes for me.
57:14 I am wholeheartedly committing.
57:15 Good.
57:16 I think that'll be great.
57:17 And now, we talked about what you like before.
57:18 And I asked what type of food he likes.
57:19 He likes to eat well.
57:20 Yeah, you eat it.
57:21 He eats well.
57:22 So he's not-- he's a balanced food.
57:23 He's something, you know, a lean protein, a saturated vegetable.
57:24 You like to be healthy.
57:25 I don't think people give me too much credit.
57:26 I will eat anything.
57:27 I really will.
57:28 I mean, but if we came over to your house and you served, you know, reheated lasagna
57:29 from Costco, I'd say, "Oh, my God.
57:30 I'm going to die."
57:31, you know, "Oh, my God.
57:55 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:02 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:08 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:09 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:10 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:11 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:12 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:13 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:14 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:15 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:16 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:17 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:18 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:44 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:51 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
58:58 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
59:04 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.
59:11 I'm going to die.", you know, "Oh, my God.