00:00 This is Adriana.
00:02 She fell in love with Barnaby.
00:06 When the couple met, they instantly connected due to their shared experience.
00:11 I am a 28 year old transgender woman.
00:14 And I'm a 30 year old transgender man.
00:17 I wasn't having very much success with dating as a trans man.
00:22 And then I found a beautiful woman online and she was going through her own journey.
00:29 The couple began sharing their transition stories online.
00:32 But were hit with some truly shocking comments.
00:36 I was like just death threat sometimes.
00:39 I've been told I need to be burned with fire.
00:42 We've been together now for two years.
00:52 I found Adri on Instagram.
00:56 We kept running into each other at the bars downtown.
01:01 And a week before I was moving to originally California, I asked Adri if she would go out with me.
01:09 And she actually said yeah.
01:11 We went out on a date.
01:13 We're basically inseparable since then.
01:16 I think what attracted me the most to Adri was just knowing someone that had a shared experience.
01:25 She was so open and visible about it.
01:28 I really liked that.
01:29 Yeah I think that's also what really attracted me to you.
01:33 Aside from his eyes too.
01:34 I was like oh my gosh, this guy is so hot.
01:37 When I met him I was two and a half years into my transition.
01:44 I had my top surgery already.
01:48 I had medically been transitioning since 2015.
01:51 Dating as a trans man was really rough.
01:54 What I wasn't prepared for was the ignorance that came with trying to put yourself out there.
02:00 Because it always comes down to that one question.
02:05 Did you have the surgery yet?
02:08 For me dating previously as a trans woman was also very difficult.
02:17 It was just a bunch of guys wanting a very secretive relationship.
02:24 As opposed to now dating him, he actually sees me as a person.
02:28 Aside from just my body and who I am.
02:31 After high school, when I graduated, I came out to my parents the first time as a lesbian.
02:37 And then it was about a year after I lost my brother to suicide.
02:45 It made me reflect more on what my happiness was.
02:49 Am I really being honest to myself?
02:52 And that's where I realized maybe I am transgender.
02:58 For me personally, I have always felt like a girl from as young as I can remember.
03:07 When I was kind of trying to come to terms with being transgender.
03:14 When I was living here at my parents house.
03:16 I kind of made a plan that I was just going to not tell anybody.
03:19 And I was just going to move out and start my transition.
03:22 But actually it was just eating me alive so much.
03:25 I was very, very nervous about telling them.
03:28 Because especially in Hispanic culture, being transgender is just very much bound upon.
03:34 So today my sister and my stepdad are going to be coming over.
03:40 They both were very big parts of coming out in my transition.
03:45 How are you guys doing?
03:47 We're doing good. We've been busy.
03:49 I'm happy to come visit.
03:50 So what was it like for you guys when you found out that I was trans?
03:57 I was like, "Well, my mom's going to freak out."
04:02 Just because she's like, so freaked out about stuff.
04:05 Did you ever feel swayed by family?
04:08 Or like feel ashamed?
04:10 No. Nope.
04:13 My family is a huge family as you know.
04:17 And they're a very loving family.
04:20 But they're also set in their own ways.
04:23 And there's a lot of things that they don't believe in that I do.
04:26 And that doesn't bother me.
04:28 And so no.
04:29 I've never, I was never ashamed of you.
04:32 My fear, I mean it was a really strong fear too.
04:36 For your safety.
04:38 And your mother had the same.
04:40 How did you guys feel when you found out that he was trans and we were together?
04:43 My fears were more so that knowing that you would have times of depression.
04:50 And knowing that you have times of depression.
04:53 And you guys moving across the country became my fears.
04:58 Now, what's going to happen when you guys hit it at the same time?
05:03 And who's going to be there to support you?
05:05 To see your mental health reflected at you in your relationship was an eye opener.
05:12 Because it made me realize I am very dysphoric myself.
05:17 And I internalize mine a lot more than Adri does.
05:22 And hearing the way she talked about herself was really hard.
05:27 Because I actually related a lot to it.
05:30 Just I keep it in my head.
05:32 How do you guys feel about us being so open and vulnerable on the internet?
05:39 Or like putting ourselves out there?
05:41 I always fear that people are going to make you feel bad.
05:45 Like because I know how people are.
05:48 A religious death threat sometimes.
05:51 I've been told I need to be burned with fire.
05:56 Being called "it".
05:57 I've had plenty of men that hate that I can grow facial hair.
06:03 They'll be like, "Yeah, you can grow a beard, but you're still a woman."
06:06 It's just always like, "You're a dude."
06:08 Or, "You still can't have a baby."
06:09 Or, "You don't get a period."
06:11 Like, as if I wasn't already aware of it.
06:13 We're often fetishized.
06:15 If I do get messages about our relationship, it's people wanting to know if they can join us in bed.
06:21 And what we have in our pants.
06:25 The only way that this isn't going to be a problem is if it becomes normal.
06:30 And the only way it's going to ever become normal is by exposure.
06:34 And to me, that's why I'm proud that you're representing.
06:39 When you found out we got engaged, how did you feel?
06:46 I was very happy.
06:49 And I know that she feels the same way because your happiness is what's really important to us.
06:55 And to see you that happy, pretty awesome.
06:58 I personally never thought I was going to get married, honestly.
07:02 Envisioning myself in a dress and having a dream wedding, I'm excited for it.
07:08 But it just doesn't seem real.
07:10 I really appreciate that you're like a second family to me and how much you listen.
07:16 Cheers to love and not judging and being open and supportive and just being together as a family.
07:25 Cheers!
07:26 Cheers!
07:27 Salud!
07:28 I feel now more than ever in our life, things are starting to fall together and we're super excited.
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