- 2 years ago
Eddie | The Dog Walk
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00:00 All right, man, today is Wednesday.
00:01 It's November 29th.
00:02 Welcome to the Dog Walk presented by Barstool Sports.
00:04 Free swim Wednesday.
00:07 We got something in my eye.
00:09 What's in there?
00:10 I don't know.
00:12 What gets in your eye?
00:13 Eyelashes.
00:15 I don't know what those little--
00:18 Boogers?
00:19 They're not boogers, though.
00:20 They're little crusty things.
00:21 Yeah.
00:22 Some iGook?
00:23 Do those only form at night?
00:24 Can you just midday get some iGook?
00:27 I don't know.
00:27 I'm trying to think of what the childhood name for those were.
00:30 Sand.
00:31 The Sandman something.
00:33 People call it iGoogers.
00:34 Yeah, Sandman came last night.
00:36 iGoobies.
00:38 Who calls it that?
00:39 No one.
00:40 I call them that.
00:41 My dog gets some iGoobies, and you just wipe them off of there.
00:44 Stop saying that.
00:45 Mama, I got some goobies last night.
00:47 You got some iGoobies.
00:48 Well, yeah, I guess if you just close your eyes
00:50 and don't sleep for eight hours, if you just close your eyes,
00:54 if you truly rest your eyes, I guess
00:56 you would technically be able to get them right.
00:58 I wonder what it is, though.
01:00 What is it?
01:02 Is it bad to get it?
01:04 I don't know.
01:04 Is it like a runny nose?
01:06 But is it something your eye is producing,
01:08 or is it just like buildup?
01:10 Like dust?
01:10 I think it's buildup.
01:11 It's dust?
01:12 No, it can't be buildup.
01:14 Have you ever had it?
01:15 Why would it only happen at night, then?
01:16 Have you ever had iGoobies so bad that your lashes are stuck?
01:19 Stop.
01:20 Goobies?
01:20 I don't like that at all.
01:21 That's like saying boo-boo.
01:24 You like iGoobies?
01:26 No, we're missing a word.
01:27 I think we nailed it.
01:29 It's iGoobies.
01:30 I've never heard sand.
01:32 Really?
01:32 Sand is a real functional thing.
01:34 Why would it be called Mr. Sandman?
01:37 Because it feels kind of like that.
01:39 It feels like a little grain of sand sometimes
01:41 you pluck it out of there.
01:42 Yeah, you've got like beaches under your eyes
01:43 sometimes after a 10-hour sleep.
01:45 Why is there gunk in my eye?
01:47 Eye discharge.
01:48 Do you know that you blink 10 to 20 times a minute?
01:51 Every time it happens, your eyes get
01:53 a few milliseconds of protection and quick moisture bath.
01:56 Nice.
01:57 Blinking also washes away the mucus
02:00 your eyes make all day long.
02:02 So when you're sleeping, don't blink that gunk away.
02:04 It collects in the corner of your eyes
02:06 closest to your nose where your lashes meet your eyelid.
02:08 The proper name for it is Rheum, but you probably call it sleep.
02:13 iGoobies.
02:14 Sleep.
02:16 Rem, I guess?
02:16 R-H-E-U-M?
02:18 That's too confusing with the rems.
02:20 Like a rue?
02:20 I thought rem was R-E-M.
02:23 I guess I'm--
02:23 Well, that's like your rem cycle, right?
02:25 Yeah, that's R-H-E-U-M.
02:26 Maybe I'm wrong.
02:28 I don't know.
02:28 I'm even more confused now.
02:30 Yeah.
02:30 I was right.
02:31 It's iGoobies.
02:32 No, it's not.
02:33 Stop fucking saying that.
02:36 We can't-- we don't need that word around at all.
02:40 Some gunk.
02:40 But yeah, when you get--
02:42 like when you wake up with pink eye
02:44 and you can't even open your eyes, you've got to pry them open.
02:47 The sand has your eyelashes just stapled together.
02:50 Some of the worst things you can go through.
02:53 Was that in a minor injury draft?
02:54 Because that can cause a few casualties with the eyelashes.
02:57 Well, it's just a really tight, crusted one.
02:59 You have to put water on it.
03:01 It's very sensitive.
03:02 You've got to rub hard to get them off there just to open it.
03:05 You ever have one where you actually got to pry it open?
03:07 I've had that with eyelashes before.
03:09 Not where it's like you have to pull it out.
03:11 Yeah, I'm saying eyelashes.
03:12 You've got to call the fucking fire department,
03:14 get the jaws of a knife to open those things.
03:15 I fucking hate touching my eyeballs, too.
03:17 I hate it, too.
03:19 I couldn't do it, so I had to have lacing.
03:21 That's solely the reason why.
03:22 I couldn't get contacts in.
03:24 Even like drops.
03:25 I kind of freak out if I had to have drops in.
03:28 This guy.
03:30 Big eye drop guy.
03:31 I have to.
03:32 I use the lubricant tears and everything.
03:34 But yeah, touching your eye, it's
03:36 an instinct to not touch it.
03:37 So you just have to get used to touching it.
03:39 It just takes time.
03:40 Are you always having a bottle of roadies?
03:45 The road toes?
03:46 Yeah.
03:47 Do you always have a bottle of that?
03:48 No, I just have lubricant tears.
03:49 I don't keep Visine on me.
03:50 But road toes was the way to go back in the day.
03:52 That's what I'm saying.
03:53 I thought you did.
03:54 They say that's what actors would
03:56 use to make their eyes look whiter on screen.
03:58 Oh, really?
03:59 They would always be in the glass case at a Walgreens,
04:01 too.
04:02 That's how you know that was--
04:03 I thought you'd do that, because you
04:04 didn't know when you were entering the trippy squad
04:06 or not.
04:06 Shut up.
04:07 Like that's just like--
04:09 No, these eyes.
04:10 Well, now, always my eyes will just naturally
04:13 be red because of my contacts.
04:15 My allergies, my eyes dry up.
04:17 Naturally.
04:17 So I always have an excuse to just have red eyes.
04:19 Yeah, it's just a plant.
04:20 So it's natural.
04:22 Yeah.
04:23 Yeah.
04:23 And you're just--
04:25 This is like kind of a high thought
04:27 since we're on the subject.
04:29 Do you ever think about how crazy evolution has to be?
04:31 So it has every detail.
04:32 It's like, well, if you're going to have eyes, it has to-- you
04:34 have to blink to protect them at 20, 30 times a minute.
04:37 And it creates a lubricant.
04:38 Like your body's just always doing stuff
04:40 that we don't even know about.
04:41 It's fucking insane.
04:42 Yeah, and it's to the point where if there are defects,
04:46 like people who don't do it, it's like, oh, that's crazy.
04:49 How much that's needed.
04:50 Totally.
04:50 And we don't even think about it.
04:51 We're not even aware of it, except for like one minute
04:54 when we wake up in the morning, we got too many eye goobies.
04:56 I think I brought this up in this podcast,
04:57 but I consistently think about this episode.
04:59 And I think it was Maury, to be honest with you.
05:02 I was just watching at home when I was sick.
05:04 And it was like one of the 1,000 that were in You
05:07 Are Not the Father.
05:09 So Maury used to be like a lot of different topics.
05:11 Then it pivoted at one point to just be DNA pregnancy tests.
05:15 They found the algorithm.
05:16 It's the most dramatic thing you can do.
05:18 Yeah, they found the algorithm.
05:19 Yeah.
05:20 And they're just like, yeah, fuck it.
05:21 Let's pivot.
05:21 You know what I mean?
05:22 We're seeing the ratings skyrocket
05:24 when we tell someone they got a kid.
05:25 Dude, I'll stay through a commercial break for that.
05:27 Yeah, exactly.
05:27 I'm coming back.
05:28 Sometimes, though, they just strap them to a chair
05:31 and bring their worst fear out.
05:32 I'll watch that.
05:34 Yeah.
05:34 Jar of pickles.
05:35 Ah!
05:36 Yeah, so it was something where this kid--
05:42 there were a couple of children who didn't have pain.
05:46 They were numb to pain.
05:47 So the kid was wearing goggles because the kid would sit there
05:50 and just--
05:51 Oh, I've seen things.
05:52 --just scratch the fuck out of their eye
05:54 because they didn't know they were doing any harm, which
05:56 is a crazy thought.
05:57 Yeah.
05:58 And they would chew the shit out of their tongue
06:00 to the point where they would just chop it up.
06:02 So I went on that trip with Chaps down to Florida
06:08 for high noon.
06:10 And he was saying--
06:11 I asked him a ton of questions.
06:12 And he said that he has a purple heart.
06:15 He got shot through the arm.
06:16 And he said that he had no feeling in his ring finger
06:20 and his pinky finger for years, years and years.
06:24 He could move it.
06:27 What did you say, sir?
06:28 No, I'm good.
06:29 You can keep going.
06:29 He could move his finger.
06:31 But if you were to touch it or hit it with a hammer,
06:33 he couldn't feel it.
06:34 So he said that as a party trick,
06:37 he would put it over the stove because he just
06:40 could not feel the pain.
06:42 And then he said one day he got electrocuted,
06:44 plugging in an appliance, and his hand was wet.
06:47 It zapped him.
06:47 And the feeling in his--
06:50 Came back?
06:50 Came back.
06:51 And he said he went to the VA.
06:54 And they're like, that's impossible.
06:55 He's like, well, you've tested me for years for this
06:59 because it is a disability thing.
07:02 And he said they have these contraptions that will
07:05 pinch the shit out of it.
07:06 There's no way that you could ignore it if you actually
07:09 had feeling in it.
07:11 And it came back.
07:12 He was crying because he was like,
07:14 I can feel all my extremities again from an electric shock.
07:17 It's a fucking crazy story.
07:18 Damn.
07:19 Yeah.
07:19 Yeah.
07:20 He's told me that before.
07:21 It was insane.
07:22 Are they like-- are they like because of that?
07:24 Are they producing new studies?
07:26 Like, oh, maybe shock therapy does help.
07:28 I don't know.
07:29 But I also-- I can't remember what the show was.
07:31 But it was like a Maury type show.
07:33 I saw it probably--
07:34 I was probably 12 when I saw this.
07:36 But there was this woman who basically had the chaps thing.
07:40 But for her entire body, she was paralyzed from the waist down.
07:45 And then she got in the tub.
07:48 Her house got struck by lightning.
07:51 And all her feeling came back.
07:52 And she was able to walk again for the first time
07:54 after like 20 years.
07:56 If something--
07:57 That's fucking crazy.
07:58 They're like-- I don't know.
08:00 There's so many things that just make no sense to me.
08:02 When you incorporate a random jolt of lightning,
08:05 I feel like anything could happen.
08:06 That's how--
08:07 That's how like superheroes are made.
08:09 Super villains are made.
08:11 Doctors can't explain it.
08:12 I don't know.
08:13 But we have very different high thoughts.
08:16 You said that was a high thought of yours?
08:18 I'm not thinking--
08:19 I'm not smart enough to have those thoughts.
08:21 But one I had last night, young Harry in the chair was there.
08:26 So one of the tech guys here was like, hey,
08:31 you're leaving after this Bears game.
08:32 It was like 10 o'clock.
08:33 He's like, you want to split an Uber?
08:35 And I was like--
08:36 I knew where he lived.
08:37 So he lived in Lakeview.
08:39 I live in like River North Gold Coast.
08:41 I'm like, we're not even close.
08:43 Why are we splitting an Uber?
08:44 He's like, well, it'll be cheaper.
08:46 I was like, will it?
08:47 Like, I'm paying for you to go all the way to Lakeview.
08:50 And he's like, yeah, but still, it'll be like a little cheaper.
08:52 I was like, for you maybe.
08:53 Like, if you want me to do it, I will.
08:55 And then we got into a little tiff.
08:57 He calculated it.
08:59 I would have been paying maybe less than $1 less
09:03 than I normally would have.
09:04 But he probably would have saved a good like $8 or so.
09:10 What's your-- if it's not on the way to your place, and--
09:14 You would have dropped off first, right?
09:16 Yeah, from there, in that instance, I would.
09:18 But like, if the Uber is not on the way to your place,
09:21 or if it's like inconvenient, are you still splitting it?
09:24 So--
09:25 I mean, this person found a great scheme.
09:27 That is a scheme.
09:28 But here's the other part of that.
09:30 Last night in particular, like, we're done with that stream.
09:34 I got home at like 11, so I'm guessing you guys left at 10,
09:37 15, or something like that.
09:40 Once that clock strikes 10 o'clock at night,
09:42 I don't want to say a goddamn word
09:44 to a single person on earth.
09:45 There's no way in hell I'm sharing an Uber
09:48 to have an awkward conversation, theoretically, with--
09:51 it could be like your best friend.
09:53 I don't want to talk to anybody.
09:54 I definitely don't want to ride an Uber with you.
09:56 I want to sit in the back of my headphones
09:57 on and wait to get home.
09:59 We got to a point where I was like, I will totally do it,
10:02 but don't act like you're doing me a favor.
10:04 I'm doing you a favor.
10:06 Yeah, thanks for saving me the $0.86.
10:08 Yeah, I was like, if you make maybe this bonus comes around,
10:11 I've merged, I can pay for a couple of Ubers of yours.
10:13 But this is inconvenient for me.
10:15 Can I ask who this was?
10:17 Doug.
10:17 Dougie Buckets?
10:18 Oh, I would have done it with Doug.
10:19 It had nothing-- like, great guy.
10:21 I would love to be in the back of an Uber with him.
10:23 But I was like, this does nothing for me.
10:24 I'm just kind of curious about Doug in general.
10:27 He just kind of walks around, doesn't say much.
10:30 Like, every time I look down, if I hear the basketball bouncing,
10:34 like six times out of 10, it's Doug.
10:37 Dougie gets buckets.
10:38 He's a pinnacle guy where--
10:39 I guess you could describe me this way.
10:42 If once you get to know him, he won't shut the fuck up.
10:44 Oh, really?
10:45 Oh, really?
10:45 Just like busting balls.
10:46 Be like, Danny.
10:48 Like, every time you pass him off, once you get him going,
10:50 you're just--
10:51 All right.
10:51 You got to break that barrier.
10:53 It's challenging you to one-on-one every day.
10:55 I'm stunned to hear that.
10:56 Oh, yeah.
10:56 Yeah.
10:57 Yeah, he seems like he kind of keeps--
10:59 he's not quiet, but it seems like he keeps to himself.
11:01 Yeah.
11:02 We call him silent but deadly.
11:03 Yeah.
11:04 For real.
11:04 Huh.
11:06 How about Doug?
11:07 I didn't have, you know, scheming on his list.
11:09 I didn't have scheming on his list.
11:11 No.
11:11 No.
11:11 Not at all.
11:12 I said, you're a con man.
11:13 He's like, no.
11:14 Like, you're going to be saving at least, I don't know, $1.
11:17 I was like, all right, Doug.
11:18 Do you think he was genuinely maybe unaware
11:20 of how much you'd save?
11:21 Yes.
11:21 He thought he was like, this is a deal.
11:23 Like, why wouldn't we split an Uber home?
11:25 It's cheaper for both of us.
11:26 But to be honest, like, of course, yeah.
11:28 Don't-- you're doing him a favor.
11:30 But in the end game, it doesn't change anything for you.
11:34 You're getting dropped off first.
11:35 Yeah.
11:36 Sure.
11:36 Right.
11:37 Like I said, it was just like, don't
11:38 act like you're helping me.
11:39 But it's all--
11:40 I'm helping you, Doug.
11:41 But like, he is--
11:43 so I live in Lakeview.
11:44 Like, we don't go through your neighborhood to get home.
11:47 At all.
11:47 So that's what I mean.
11:48 Like, he's adding x amount of time to his own trip for--
11:53 you said he saved $8?
11:55 Around that, yeah.
11:56 $8.
11:56 I'm trying to think, like, what the number is for me to go 15
11:59 minutes out of my way.
12:00 Right.
12:00 You know?
12:03 Dougie Applesauce.
12:04 Time has no--
12:06 time has no bearing on Dougie Applesauce.
12:07 It's a tough--
12:08 Especially that late at night.
12:10 Tough scenario for him, because I could see the argument where
12:13 it's like, as long as it's somewhat on the way,
12:15 but you're going out of the way.
12:16 Yeah.
12:17 Dougie Applesauce, don't give a shit.
12:20 He's cutting deals.
12:21 Why Applesauce?
12:22 Oh, he's supposed to be a guy who enjoys Applesauce.
12:23 Yeah.
12:24 Can I tell you something?
12:24 I've been on a little bit of an Applesauce kick lately.
12:26 Applesauce is good.
12:27 Applesauce is very good.
12:30 'Tis the season for Applesauce.
12:32 It's good, but it's not doing anything to fill you up at all.
12:36 It's extra calories.
12:38 It's just like it's a sugar rush.
12:40 Right.
12:40 You might as well have a candy bar.
12:41 Yes.
12:42 Fills in the cracks, you know?
12:43 You're preaching the choir.
12:45 I love a little Applesauce.
12:46 Applesauce is water.
12:47 That's what it does for me.
12:48 I'll say this, though.
12:50 I had a rough morning, because I got home late last night.
12:53 I made my award-winning chili.
12:55 Shout out to Joe Flam on Sunday.
12:57 I got home last night.
12:58 Awarded by you.
12:59 No, by Joe Flam.
13:01 He won Top Chef on Bravo, not to brag.
13:02 And he said my chili had a great depth of flavor.
13:06 Sorry, who were you up against?
13:07 It's-- I'm the champion.
13:09 Why is that a shame?
13:10 Go on.
13:12 Anyways, I still won.
13:13 It's a good-- I won an award.
13:14 And I had chili, and then I topped it off
13:18 with a little bit of Applesauce last night.
13:21 That is a rough combo on your gut.
13:23 Chili and Applesauce?
13:25 Chili, and then a little Applesauce,
13:27 or a couple of Applesauce for dessert.
13:28 Fuck, it ain't a science fair, bro.
13:30 What are we doing?
13:31 Did you put them in the same bowl?
13:32 No, I wouldn't do that.
13:33 I'm not a savage.
13:35 You might, though.
13:35 Some sick fuck likes that.
13:37 No, I mean just not even clean the chili bowl
13:39 and put the Applesauce in it.
13:40 No.
13:41 I'm so vehemently against not cleaning it out.
13:43 Like, there can't be any cross-contamination.
13:45 Oh, I hate that, too.
13:46 Dude, chili's the worst.
13:47 Chili's caked down the sides.
13:48 You have to take a sponge to it immediately.
13:50 You got to spare bean in the drain of the sink.
13:52 Ugh, stop it.
13:53 So much so I--
13:54 Oh, not a bean.
13:57 I don't like that.
13:57 That's a--
13:58 You don't like chili?
14:00 A drain is gross.
14:01 Yeah.
14:02 Like, you know, you get the mere plow circling around.
14:04 It's just staring at you.
14:06 Disgusting.
14:06 You know what I did the other day?
14:08 Because I can be bad about rinsing my dishes sometimes.
14:11 It's just pure laziness.
14:13 I cleaned out the drain around the bottom of the dishwasher.
14:18 All the fucking loose peas and peeled onions.
14:21 That's what I'm saying.
14:22 It's fucking--
14:23 But in the dishwasher, like, yeah, it's fucking gross.
14:26 Yeah.
14:27 For sure.
14:27 Dude, you know one thing, too?
14:30 I bet you they didn't--
14:33 strawberry applesauce?
14:35 You had that?
14:36 No.
14:36 That's not applesauce.
14:38 That's strawberry sauce.
14:39 On the bad end of a trade in the cafeteria in grade school.
14:42 Really?
14:43 Yeah.
14:43 That should have took off.
14:45 I don't know.
14:45 I don't like the idea of mushed strawberries.
14:48 Like, if you have a brewed strawberry, like--
14:50 It's the same consistency.
14:52 It's probably not even natural.
14:53 It's probably an artificial flavor.
14:55 But it was good.
14:56 I've never had it.
14:57 Never even heard of it, to be honest.
14:59 You know what never really evolved,
15:01 panned out the way I thought it would?
15:02 I thought it would at least have its time?
15:04 Strawberry milk.
15:06 I hated that.
15:07 Why?
15:07 Took one sip.
15:08 I thought it was disgusting.
15:09 Do you like strawberry milkshakes?
15:11 No.
15:12 I love strawberries.
15:13 I'll do strawberries with whipped cream.
15:14 But I don't like strawberry ice cream.
15:16 Like, if there was a Neapolitan, it
15:18 was a chocolate vanilla strawberry.
15:19 Strawberry's left behind every time.
15:21 Oh, really?
15:21 Disagree.
15:22 I actually like strawberry milk.
15:24 It's great.
15:25 If you notice, like--
15:27 You guys have infant palates, though.
15:29 That's part of it.
15:30 I don't drink it all the time.
15:31 I haven't had a strawberry milk in years.
15:34 But I enjoy it.
15:34 He's eating applesauce.
15:35 Don't listen to him.
15:36 I don't drink milk.
15:37 He's got like a fucking keg of strawberry milk at his house.
15:40 If I could, I would.
15:41 Strawberry milk, very hard to find, though.
15:45 And on that topic, there's--
15:46 I didn't know about that.
15:47 Well, there's certain convenience stores now,
15:49 7-Elevens, where their chocolate milk game is just
15:51 entirely protein shakes.
15:54 Even a Nesquik has like 16 grams of protein.
15:58 I'm not looking for that in my chocolate milk.
16:00 Do you think that they always had that?
16:02 And then they're--
16:03 No.
16:03 I think they upped it for sure.
16:05 I wonder if they were just like--
16:07 I took the boring route.
16:08 I fucking knew that.
16:09 But like, milk has always had protein.
16:11 So I'm wondering if it's just like, oh,
16:12 people care about this now.
16:13 So we'll market it as if--
16:15 and to be honest, what number did you say it was?
16:18 I think it was like 16 grams.
16:19 But I don't know--
16:21 is that a lot?
16:22 Is that a little?
16:22 You could tell me grams.
16:24 I don't know how many grams of protein
16:26 I'm supposed to be having.
16:27 Well, it's a lot when you're comparing
16:28 the Nesquik chocolate milk.
16:30 And right next to it is the muscle milk,
16:32 which is also almost the same amount of protein.
16:35 Yeah.
16:36 It's like, oh, my ear.
16:37 [LAUGHTER]
16:38 No, that shit is heavy.
16:40 I don't want to lift anymore.
16:41 16 grams.
16:42 Respectable for a chocolate milk.
16:44 I'm sure it is.
16:45 But I'm wondering if they added protein to it
16:48 or if it was like always had 16 grams.
16:50 And they're like, hey, people care about this.
16:52 We're going to make it seem healthy as a marketing thing.
16:55 It was probably like 8 to 10.
16:57 But it's almost like seeing the calories in the fast food menu.
17:00 Like, I'm thinking I'm going in for a quick snack
17:03 with my chocolate milk.
17:04 Now I feel the need to work out after drinking a Nesquik.
17:07 I went to Jamba Juice.
17:08 Get a pump in.
17:09 Went to Jamba Juice one time.
17:11 It was a youngster.
17:12 Jamba, Jamba as a youngster.
17:15 And it was my friend's first time going.
17:17 He's like, you want any shots?
17:19 Like, give me a shot of protein.
17:20 Dude, that's not necessary at Jamba Juice.
17:22 No.
17:23 No.
17:23 You don't need that.
17:24 Did you get the wheatgrass?
17:26 You're not here for that.
17:27 Yeah.
17:28 Not a wheatgrass.
17:29 Got strawberries wild, dude.
17:31 Yeah.
17:31 I used to have one of those.
17:33 So I worked at this health club.
17:35 And there was one on the way.
17:38 And I had like the morning shift.
17:39 So I would get it on my way back home at like 10 AM.
17:43 That was going to be-- that's like my breakfast.
17:45 You were from like 5 to 10, whatever.
17:47 4:30 to 10.
17:48 And I was convincing myself it was being healthy.
17:51 Turns out like juice in general is like one of the worst things
17:54 you can have.
17:55 Yeah.
17:56 Like that's something that people like don't talk about.
17:59 Like when we were kids--
18:01 No, not when we were kids.
18:02 --that food pyramid is a bunch of bullshit.
18:04 Have we ever done a Tuesday on the poop we have?
18:06 We have.
18:07 It's a bunch of bull-- does Orbeez do strawberry milk?
18:09 That was one question I wanted to--
18:12 I would love that.
18:12 Probably.
18:13 It's probably like in-store only or something.
18:15 I've never seen it.
18:17 But healthy is like a relative term now.
18:20 How so?
18:21 Because juices can be healthy.
18:23 They have a lot of sugar.
18:24 But like they also have vitamins.
18:26 So what is healthy?
18:27 Yeah, but they say that if you have like an apple juice,
18:31 your liver processes it as if it was a Mountain Dew.
18:36 Like it's like a--
18:37 the way you're-- by the time it ends up like in your body,
18:40 it is the exact same thing as drinking a Mountain Dew or Coke.
18:43 I believe--
18:43 Yeah, but that goes back to like what kind of--
18:45 are natural sugars good or bad?
18:47 I don't-- you just don't know.
18:49 No, because it's-- if you eat an apple, it has like the fibers.
18:53 And it like has all these other things
18:55 that allow you to process it.
18:56 The juice is like so concentrated.
18:59 And they get rid of all like the normal stuff
19:01 that you would get if you just ate the fruit,
19:03 that your liver processes it into just like pure sugar
19:06 and fat.
19:07 So if we were to squeeze pure apples,
19:09 not fuck with them at all, and get apple juice from that--
19:11 I think you would need like the pulp and all that kind of like--
19:14 it would have to be like--
19:16 I don't think like the juice is ever good for you.
19:18 And there's something about like the way that you chew.
19:20 Like if you chew the apple--
19:21 like I think juice is almost always bad.
19:23 And if you chew the apple, like you--
19:25 like you create like some different type of enzymes
19:28 and their saliva.
19:28 And it just helps with the whole like breakdown process.
19:31 What are you smiling about?
19:32 Fucking bro science here.
19:34 Why is that?
19:35 I feel like any time I say anything,
19:37 you say it's bro science.
19:39 I think I got that from Andrew Huberman.
19:41 So maybe it is bro science.
19:42 I know there is something to-- like if you do those like green
19:45 juice diets, like you are losing a lot with--
19:48 that's not going into the juice.
19:51 It's still good, but like you're not--
19:54 we're talking two different things.
19:56 So we used to do apples.
19:57 But here's one thing I do know, and that's
19:59 that Hoss gear is great.
20:01 I mean, if you had Hoss gear on when
20:04 you're having your Nesquik, you could've got a little pump in.
20:06 Yeah.
20:07 Yes.
20:08 Be ready to go any time.
20:10 Because whether you're hitting the gym going to work out
20:13 or going out in the town, it's time to gear up, step out,
20:17 and show the world what it means to be the Hoss,
20:19 born and raised in Chicago.
20:21 Hoss is an athleisure-sized streetwear brand
20:23 that is a little something for everyone.
20:27 Chicago boys.
20:28 Yeah.
20:29 You were telling me the other day
20:30 you felt real good in their shorts
20:31 when you were playing basketball.
20:33 Oh, yeah.
20:33 I was wearing their shorts, and I had this nice zip up
20:35 from them that I was rocking to.
20:37 Yeah.
20:38 It's perfect for a cold gym like ours.
20:41 Yeah.
20:41 It really is great stuff.
20:43 So go to bethehoss.com.
20:44 Check out their athletic line and leisure wear.
20:46 Use code "barstool" for 20% off the whole store
20:49 and be the Hoss today.
20:50 It's really great stuff.
20:51 Yeah.
20:52 I'm telling you, I think pickleball paddles are
20:54 going to be the gift of Christmas in general
20:55 with how much it's spiking.
20:57 So you might as well go to Hoss and get your pickleball paddles
20:59 there.
20:59 Very comfortable.
21:00 It had a nice, soft grip.
21:02 Nice grip.
21:03 I also think that--
21:05 I think pickleball is just going to be like, you
21:07 don't need a pickleball court.
21:08 I think you can kind of just move the furniture out.
21:11 I don't know.
21:11 We always did that when I was a kid.
21:13 It was like, all right, all the furniture's out.
21:15 We're playing hockey or football in here.
21:16 I feel like you can set up a little pickleball
21:18 and just have a bigger version of ping pong in your house.
21:21 Yeah.
21:21 We'll make two.
21:22 Yeah.
21:22 We always find a way.
21:23 Yeah.
21:24 You can always just play-- yeah.
21:25 So get those pickleball paddles.
21:26 Get all the Hoss stuff.
21:27 It's the best.
21:28 To that point, Eddie brought up to me--
21:30 I think it was off air a while ago--
21:34 how throughout all the Chicago parks,
21:37 we have so many tennis courts that probably don't get used.
21:42 We can play pickleball there, I'm saying, but--
21:45 It's absurd.
21:46 It's absurd how tennis courts were just a prerequisite
21:51 to throw into a park.
21:53 Right.
21:53 Who the fuck's playing tennis?
21:55 I feel like it used to be bigger.
21:57 Was it ever big enough to constitute a mandatory tennis
22:00 court at every park?
22:02 I got a little--
22:03 Two, even.
22:03 Two?
22:04 Minimum two.
22:07 Put all the basketball courts there.
22:08 All of them.
22:09 Replace every one.
22:10 Or even I know they started to--
22:12 at my park, they converted it into a fence and soccer arena.
22:17 Oh, really?
22:17 Now with pickleball, they're going to revert back.
22:19 Snip, snap, snip, snap.
22:20 Do you know, I have been trying for literally years
22:23 now to get the parks department to allow me to put a free--
22:27 I have a company that will put free hockey rinks
22:29 in on tennis courts.
22:30 Like roller rink?
22:31 No, no, no.
22:32 For the winter.
22:32 So no one's playing tennis in the winter.
22:34 Let me put an outdoor rink--
22:38 because now it was 14 degrees this morning
22:40 when I walked the dog.
22:41 Great outdoor hockey weather--
22:43 to put a rink on the tennis court,
22:44 and nobody will let me do it.
22:46 Yeah, I'm not surprised by that.
22:47 Why?
22:48 That's a big thing.
22:49 They've had problems in the past, the city, right?
22:51 With hockey?
22:52 Oh, yeah.
22:53 They don't want you there.
22:56 Then why have a park at all?
22:57 Well, that's the dirty little secret
22:59 about the Chicago Park District.
23:01 So they could say they have parks.
23:02 Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
23:03 That's the thing.
23:04 Nothing dangerous happens there.
23:05 Yeah, they took-- dude, my park, there was a basketball court.
23:08 They took the rims down.
23:10 Like, they just don't want people playing
23:12 and getting in fights and shit.
23:14 Same thing with like, there was never open gym.
23:17 And the gym was open.
23:18 No one was using it.
23:19 It was like, oh, hey, could kids just go shoot around?
23:21 Nope, we don't want to promote open gym
23:23 because people will be getting into shit.
23:27 Yeah, I feel like as a kid, even in the afternoon hours
23:30 before dusk, you were always still somehow,
23:33 some way, loitering at a park.
23:35 You can never just be hanging at a park.
23:36 You're always loitering.
23:37 That's like a city kid problem.
23:39 Yeah, it is.
23:40 I mean, we would just sit on the benches.
23:41 And we were--
23:42 But I'm talking like--
23:43 --dispit piles.
23:44 There's those places, like right by Belmont Harbor
23:47 has those tennis courts.
23:50 Like, up by Montrose, there's tennis courts.
23:53 There's tennis courts fucking everywhere.
23:55 And it's just dead land.
23:57 Let me put a hockey rink there.
23:58 Yeah, but they think it'd have someone watch it.
24:00 Why?
24:01 It's like I donated it.
24:02 That's probably why they put the tennis courts there,
24:04 to your point.
24:04 They don't want anyone there.
24:05 They don't know what's playing tennis.
24:06 And if they are, you're 80.
24:08 And you're not causing any problems.
24:09 I've driven by, like on Lake Shore
24:10 and seen people playing tennis in the summer.
24:13 Yes, early 2000s, like when we were young at the park.
24:16 I think this is more a problem.
24:17 Tennis is back, though.
24:18 Yeah, maybe some.
24:19 Maybe down here, like the Fufu Parks.
24:21 You know, you get some Latin graduate.
24:25 Yeah, they're like driving up from Wilmette to play.
24:29 We're playing tennis in the city today, dear.
24:30 Exactly.
24:32 I feel like those people, probably
24:34 there's like those private tennis clubs.
24:36 Yeah, probably they're not.
24:38 They're not fucking around with the CBD court that's cracked
24:41 and has got bees throwing through it to the fucking moon.
24:44 There's no chance.
24:47 But no, I genuinely think that's a thing.
24:49 They don't want you.
24:51 That's like that.
24:52 You're probably right.
24:53 People ice skate, people be slashing each other's throats.
24:55 I think they'll tell you to your face
24:56 they don't want you there.
24:57 I don't think it's like a secret at all.
24:58 They keep like referring me to a different person.
25:00 Oh, that's a great idea.
25:01 Talk to this person.
25:02 I'll talk to this person.
25:02 Talk to that person.
25:03 Then it's like, oh, you go back.
25:05 You think you're going to get--
25:06 You can't fight City Hall.
25:07 You can't fight City Hall.
25:08 All I'm trying to do is donate a rink to the city of Chicago.
25:11 Yeah, that's an absurd thing.
25:13 I think they'd take a roller one.
25:15 What's the difference?
25:16 What's the difference?
25:17 I don't know.
25:18 I guess probably less liability.
25:19 A roller one outside?
25:21 Yeah, like if you just put up some boards
25:23 and did like a little--
25:24 Yeah, but why are you so afraid of ice?
25:27 Dude, the Blackhawks wanted to donate a thing
25:31 to a park near where me and Danny live.
25:33 And they didn't even take that because the neighbors
25:36 complained.
25:36 One neighbor.
25:37 And it's one-- it just takes one neighbor.
25:39 It was one person.
25:40 It was like, this is going to be causing problems later.
25:43 The kids won't be playing until 9 PM.
25:45 Who cares?
25:46 That was like a good March symphony.
25:48 Yeah, it was pretty good.
25:49 Call me.
25:49 That's very good.
25:52 That's excellent.
25:52 Yeah, it's just my old lady voice.
25:54 But yeah, and they had to move it to another park.
25:57 And the other park accepted it.
25:58 Did they?
25:59 What park?
25:59 Norwood.
26:00 Oh, yeah.
26:01 Brooks declined.
26:03 Yeah, I think it was Brooks.
26:05 I'll say it.
26:05 That's my rival park, Julianas.
26:07 I see accepted.
26:08 And then I think the Edison Park, it won?
26:11 I don't know.
26:12 They got something maybe.
26:13 There's one out in Cicero, too.
26:15 Is there?
26:15 Yeah.
26:16 That's a Blackhawks.
26:18 One of two that's right by the Breakthrough beverage.
26:21 Yeah, it's your boy donating it to the Northwest side.
26:23 Yeah.
26:24 John McD.
26:24 Yeah.
26:25 Oh, is that right?
26:26 He didn't fucking cut the check.
26:28 It was his call.
26:31 He would always--
26:32 Shout out Rocky.
26:32 Shout out Rocky for donating the money
26:34 so John McDonough can look like a big man.
26:36 Well, yeah, he'd always bring the cup.
26:38 Or the hood.
26:39 Cool.
26:39 Our hood.
26:40 That guy fucking sucks.
26:41 [LAUGHS]
26:43 Yeah.
26:43 I don't know.
26:44 Actually, I met him in the elevator once at work one time.
26:47 He was nice.
26:47 I met him.
26:48 Yeah.
26:48 I didn't think he was very nice.
26:49 Really?
26:50 Yeah.
26:51 John, thanks for bringing the cup to Nord Park.
26:53 [LAUGHS]
26:56 Fuck it.
26:57 I'm going to say in regards to what we were just
26:59 talking about.
27:00 Tennis courts?
27:01 Oh, dude, I even--
27:02 like, dude, they don't even--
27:03 so my park, too, was known-- it had two bocce courts.
27:07 And old Italian guys would play there all the time.
27:10 They'd be sitting there speaking Italian.
27:12 It was awesome.
27:14 Awesome.
27:14 So I had another idea on that front.
27:18 We have that space between our office and the train tracks.
27:23 Why don't we pave that, make that bocce for nine months
27:27 a year, and then do curling?
27:30 You know, with the Olympic little sweeper
27:32 thing with the stones for the winter?
27:34 That would be awesome.
27:35 That would be nice.
27:36 Why don't we should do that?
27:37 Yeah, that'd be nice.
27:38 Yeah.
27:40 And throughout the years, the old Italians moved,
27:44 or they died, or whatever.
27:45 And the courts have since been wrecked now.
27:48 Boards are falling down.
27:50 Scoreboards are stolen.
27:51 Kids are smoking these piles with whatever.
27:55 Yeah.
27:56 It just looks like shit.
27:57 And I'm in a league in the town over, Elmwood Park.
28:02 And there's 100 teams in this league, 100 teams
28:05 playing bocce.
28:05 And there's a 50-team wait list.
28:06 Whoa.
28:07 That's insane.
28:07 That's fucking insane.
28:08 It's crazy.
28:09 What's the average age?
28:11 It's got to be like 60s.
28:16 So two guys on a team?
28:17 How many guys are on a team?
28:17 Four.
28:18 Four?
28:18 Four on a team.
28:19 So everyone throws their own ball then?
28:20 One ball per round?
28:21 Is that how--
28:22 Two.
28:22 I've never played bocce.
28:22 Two and two.
28:23 OK.
28:24 Like yesterday.
28:25 So two on a team?
28:26 No, other side.
28:27 You wouldn't switch sides like you did for the--
28:29 Oh, I see.
28:30 OK.
28:30 Like me and Chief would be on the other side of you and Pug.
28:33 You know?
28:34 Is that a team?
28:35 That's who I'm playing against.
28:37 That's a team.
28:37 Oh, yeah.
28:38 So like say, who was your teammate?
28:41 Cody.
28:41 It's like--
28:41 Cody?
28:42 It'd be like a bag set up, but with two guys.
28:45 Correct.
28:45 Yeah.
28:46 Correct.
28:47 Yeah.
28:47 I'm still confused.
28:48 Because yesterday was a bag set up.
28:49 No.
28:50 Well--
28:50 You moved to side to side.
28:51 Right.
28:52 But I'm talking about the four people per team.
28:54 That's where I'm lost.
28:56 Because there's only me and Cody.
28:57 So there would be two partners on your team
28:59 on the other side as well.
29:00 Oh.
29:01 So you throw all the balls back and forth.
29:02 It's like me and Chief are on your side,
29:04 but we're on the other side.
29:04 I've only ever played like one on one and like yesterday.
29:07 So I never knew it was four.
29:09 So I'm sorry.
29:10 Did you answer that question?
29:11 What's the average age of this league?
29:13 Is it guys like you, or is it guys in like their 60s?
29:16 It's older.
29:17 I'd say 50s.
29:18 I'd say 50s.
29:19 But there's like-- but that's the beauty of bocce.
29:20 You could be eight.
29:21 You could be 80.
29:22 Yeah.
29:22 It doesn't matter.
29:23 You could just throw a ball.
29:24 Like it is for everyone.
29:25 Yeah.
29:26 But like this league, I'd probably
29:27 say it's like 50s for sure.
29:28 OK.
29:29 50s probably average.
29:30 40s maybe.
29:31 Late 40s.
29:31 Are there certain teams where it's like, oh, man.
29:34 We got these guys tonight.
29:35 Oh, yeah.
29:35 Where they're like famous in the league.
29:37 Oh, yeah.
29:37 Yeah.
29:38 Dude.
29:38 Circle in.
29:39 Don't fuck you up.
29:41 Don't fuck you up, dude.
29:43 This guy Pio, dude, he could fucking blow balls
29:45 out of the water like you've never seen.
29:47 This guy played Battleship as a kid.
29:48 Like he knew-- he just--
29:50 he's just unreal.
29:50 That is one of those games where I don't have any experience,
29:53 but I know like I would get addicted to playing that game.
29:57 It's great.
29:57 Yeah.
29:58 It's an awesome game.
29:59 What is like one of the more impressive things
30:01 you could do with bocce, aside from just getting
30:03 the ball close to the white ball.
30:06 You know, like a four ringer in bags
30:07 or like sliding someone's bag off, getting yours in.
30:10 It's when you could shoot.
30:11 OK, so this guy, like I just said, that guy in circle in.
30:14 Like say, you know, I walk up.
30:16 I throw the fucking beautiful ball.
30:18 It's right in front of the Paulino and it's kissing.
30:20 Like whatever.
30:21 The Paulino's the white ball?
30:22 Yes.
30:22 So even if it's like an inch away.
30:24 Yeah.
30:24 There's these guys that are so good,
30:26 they could just walk in and fireball it and just smoke
30:29 your ball out and just create chaos.
30:31 That's like you're fucking legit.
30:34 While their ball, I'm assuming, is like kissing the Paulino.
30:36 No, it won't kiss.
30:37 But it'll be closer though.
30:38 Yes.
30:39 But like here's the thing.
30:40 If your ball is kissing or it's like an inch ahead,
30:44 very, very short odds, almost probably impossible,
30:47 especially if it's being covered,
30:48 that you're going to get it closer than that ball.
30:51 So you need to knock it to create the chaos
30:53 to get a better look at an open Paulino, if that makes sense.
30:57 What's the-- how long is like the court?
31:00 I believe it's 60.
31:02 60 feet?
31:02 Yeah.
31:03 OK.
31:03 How many minutes would you say a game usually goes?
31:04 That's an official, but they could be anything.
31:06 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:07 How many minutes?
31:07 No, I feel like it's--
31:08 I've seen it played in like a backyard.
31:10 Yeah, yeah.
31:10 The way we do it is it's 6 PM, 8 PM games.
31:14 And it's best on a three, up to 11.
31:17 Have you ever thought of cutting a guy on your team
31:19 who's just like, we got to take out, circle in this year.
31:21 Like, you're off.
31:23 You know what, man?
31:24 I'm vehemently against that.
31:25 A super team?
31:26 Yeah, I'm very against super teams.
31:28 Like, we always talk about that with softball growing up, too.
31:31 Once you turn it away from a neighborhood buddy team,
31:34 and you try to get ringers, then it's not fun anymore.
31:36 The guys who played in college and shit.
31:38 Yes, but then again, it's hard because if you're there,
31:42 you want to compete.
31:43 You want to try to win.
31:44 So it's a fine line.
31:46 But no, I haven't gotten to that yet.
31:47 It's all friends.
31:48 If you're close enough friends with someone who
31:50 happens to be a stud, that's fine.
31:52 100%.
31:53 Yes.
31:53 You can't be recruiting outside of the friend group.
31:55 You can't go over to circle and be like, hey.
31:57 Yes.
31:58 Exactly.
31:58 But I do hate people who are just mercenaries.
32:02 And it's just like, oh, no.
32:03 It's like, dude, that's not--
32:05 for a park league, listen.
32:06 If you want to go play fucking--
32:08 In the Olympics.
32:09 --Forest Park, or you want to go play,
32:11 join a Papa Hopps tournament, whatever.
32:13 If you want to create a good team for a one-shot tournament
32:17 or whatever, be my guest.
32:18 Go nuts, yeah.
32:18 But if it's a local park league, I think that's lame.
32:20 Yeah.
32:21 It's like the benchwarmers.
32:22 He hands them the IM-16 paper.
32:24 Yeah, yeah.
32:25 I just think it's lame.
32:26 So like I said, that big wait list, my park,
32:28 back to the Chicago Park District being a pile of shit.
32:32 Which I shouldn't say that, because there
32:34 are a lot of good instructors.
32:35 And I fucking loved one of the guys who was my instructor.
32:38 He's a very good influence on my life.
32:39 So there are a lot of good workers.
32:41 I'm more speaking about how it's run,
32:43 and like from the top about the philosophy.
32:46 So I respect the people.
32:48 I was a rec leader, too.
32:49 So I respect the people who work in the parks.
32:51 I just want to clarify that.
32:52 But I called the guy, and I said, hey,
32:56 this is my home park.
32:58 I'd love to get the bocce league going again.
33:00 What could we do to get the court going?
33:02 Me and my friends, we were going to fix him up.
33:04 And I was like, could we get a league if we do it?
33:06 And the guy's like, ah, you know, we can.
33:11 But I don't think you're going to get any teams,
33:13 if I'm being honest.
33:14 I was like, dude, how are you so clueless that there's
33:18 a league in the next town over that have 100 teams, 50
33:20 on the waiting list, and you just don't got a clue?
33:22 But that's what we're dealing with.
33:23 Do you think that guy's like, this is going
33:26 to be more paperwork for me.
33:27 Yes.
33:28 And that's the problem here, where it's like,
33:31 there's no incentives for these parks to get leagues going.
33:34 And it sucks.
33:35 It's unfortunate.
33:36 If there was incentives for the leagues going,
33:38 there would be a much richer athletics team.
33:43 This is the type of thinking that makes me--
33:45 I almost want to remove the redhead label from you.
33:48 Yeah, that's a good way to put it.
33:50 We should have led with that.
33:51 Park leaders have zero incentive to do anything else.
33:53 It's unfortunate.
33:54 I know a park like Hamlin does a very good job.
33:57 They run a great basketball leagues.
33:58 They run great softball leagues.
34:00 They got good diamonds.
34:01 The Cubs donated money.
34:02 And they have a good drainage system.
34:04 They do it the right way.
34:05 But there's other parks who just don't--
34:09 and to an extent, I get it.
34:11 They're not getting paid more to be there late to get umpires,
34:13 to have people bitch at them if they don't like--
34:15 if they have a bye week this week,
34:16 and they don't like this team.
34:18 They're doing roster checks.
34:19 I get it to an extent.
34:20 But I don't know.
34:22 Yeah, like if the Bocce League were to pop off,
34:25 say it was a mass success, everyone
34:26 went there every Tuesday night, what does it do for that guy?
34:29 It just creates more cleanup.
34:30 Exactly.
34:30 More cleanup.
34:31 More community people bitching about people
34:34 leaving bottles and stuff.
34:36 But do you agree--
34:37 But the parks are there for the people.
34:39 And if you want to work for the town,
34:41 then you just have to-- that's one of the things.
34:43 Exactly.
34:43 Yeah.
34:44 Do you agree, like half your anger at the situation
34:47 would probably be removed if you told-- if the park leader just
34:50 admitted it.
34:50 Like just admit that it would be a success,
34:54 but you don't want to do it because it does nothing for you.
34:56 Kind of.
34:57 I mean, yeah.
34:57 It just pisses me off.
34:58 I was like, obviously that's why you
34:59 haven't given me one good reason.
35:00 Yeah.
35:01 No, they'd just fucking rather sit in their office.
35:02 Because you even like semi-offered,
35:04 like we'll clean up the courts ourselves.
35:06 Yes, 100%.
35:07 I would have.
35:08 Had them in a corner.
35:09 100%.
35:10 You know?
35:11 I don't know.
35:12 Sorry, I was--
35:13 You've got to become a park leader.
35:14 Seems like you've been bottling that up for a while.
35:16 I'm a Chicago Park District rank.
35:18 And it's just like I said, I worked there for three years
35:20 too, so I get the system.
35:23 And I get-- and it's not even totally their fault.
35:26 The whole way it flows too is disgusting.
35:30 I could even go deeper, but I won't.
35:31 But I won't.
35:32 I think we need to get--
35:34 we need to find one good park district guy,
35:38 one competent park district leader,
35:40 and then get him to do stuff like this,
35:42 and the rest are going to be jealous and be like, oh, well,
35:44 their park's popping off.
35:46 That's all you have to do.
35:47 They exist too.
35:48 I should even-- I'll tell a little story too,
35:50 a little story time.
35:51 Sorry, this is really fucking--
35:54 I look like a crazy person.
35:55 I look like I have to do this 33.
35:57 Say your name and why you're here.
36:00 There's another local park.
36:01 I'm not going to name its name.
36:02 But I posted a video from there and did a little shot.
36:08 It was in an open gym.
36:10 And they freaked out.
36:14 They're like, oh my god, how could this guy post--
36:16 so they had--
36:18 I knew someone that worked there.
36:21 And he had an open gym just for friends to play basketball.
36:25 So it was very exclusive.
36:26 You had to know someone.
36:28 And I-- whatever, I took a shot, whatever.
36:32 And his boss saw the video, freaked out, and was like, no,
36:36 no more open gym.
36:37 Can't have friends.
36:37 Can't do anything anymore.
36:38 And my friends were pissed at me.
36:41 They're like, dude, he just ruined open gym.
36:43 I was like, that's not my fault that this guy saw a video
36:47 and freaked out because of the ramifications it would have
36:52 if other people showed up and thought there was open gym.
36:54 That was a thought process.
36:55 Wait, so why was he mad?
36:56 Because you said there was open gym, but there really wasn't?
36:58 No, I just took a three.
37:00 I was just like, hey, I'm at this park.
37:02 Boom.
37:02 And like, whatever.
37:03 I just missed a three.
37:04 Whatever.
37:05 Just to be funny.
37:05 Yips.
37:06 And yeah, I got the yips.
37:07 Thank you.
37:08 And they saw the--
37:10 I don't know if somehow it got back to the supervisor.
37:12 And he's like, nope, absolutely not.
37:14 Can't have this publicity that people are playing in our gyms.
37:16 I can't have people showing up.
37:18 Was it had to do with barstool?
37:20 Then they said something like that,
37:22 like we're a gambling company, which still
37:24 doesn't make sense.
37:25 Yeah, we can't have people shooting threes
37:27 work for a gambling company, obviously.
37:29 Yeah, I know.
37:31 And I think I might have said something like, shout out
37:33 to--
37:34 I don't know if I--
37:35 I don't think I shouted out to the sports book,
37:36 but even if I did, like, what, some kid
37:38 could go on a diamond outside and be like,
37:41 oh, bet the Cub's over.
37:42 Like, it's not like--
37:43 Dude, that's ridiculous.
37:44 That'd be like just a guy who's working
37:46 in a field house's dream.
37:47 Oh, got some nice--
37:48 got a nice plug today.
37:49 That's what I'm saying.
37:50 The first time ever.
37:51 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
37:51 Maybe we'll get some more people coming through.
37:52 And I only do that because it's like people--
37:54 and people were like, oh, you know, great park, great park,
37:56 all that park stuff.
37:57 There's a lot of pride around parks in Chicago.
37:59 And it was just-- it was mind boggling to me
38:02 that this guy was so worried that there would be,
38:05 like, ramifications from a supervisor being like, oh,
38:07 you're allowing open gyms.
38:08 Can't do that.
38:09 Or people showing up thinking there's open gyms.
38:11 That's-- like, at the start of this job, starting this job,
38:15 you would feel bad for not, like, shouting
38:17 at a restaurant you're at.
38:18 The reason I don't anymore is because fucking people
38:20 like that.
38:20 It's like, oh, is this guy going to, for some reason, get mad?
38:23 Am I going to, like, piss someone off by doing this?
38:25 Fuck it.
38:25 Yeah, I don't know.
38:26 It was a crazy situation.
38:28 Crazy situation.
38:29 I'm going to say it.
38:29 That guy sounds like a fucking loser.
38:31 [LAUGHTER]
38:31 Dude, it was nuts.
38:33 It was nuts.
38:34 And like I said, people were like--
38:36 genuinely like, dude, what the fuck?
38:37 I was like, dude, you can't get mad at me for this guy
38:40 being fucking wacky.
38:43 I'm confused.
38:44 Why were they saying what the fuck?
38:45 Like, how could you take a three like that, Eddie?
38:47 Why would you do that?
38:49 Yeah, like, I don't even know.
38:50 I think they were just like half busting my balls,
38:53 half like just mad that it got canceled.
38:54 So they needed a--
38:55 they needed someone to--
38:56 A scapegoat.
38:57 They needed a scapegoat to yell at, you know?
38:59 But yeah, that was kind of the--
39:00 I hate that.
39:02 Yeah, that was kind of the situation.
39:04 Yeah.
39:05 I don't know.
39:05 Maybe we'll have to start our own open gyms here
39:08 at the parcel office.
39:09 No, that's not allowed either.
39:10 [LAUGHTER]
39:12 That's a good point.
39:13 Yeah.
39:13 Well, employee-wise, it is.
39:15 We could do that.
39:16 Yeah, I would love to have a regular game here.
39:18 That's why we had to get our own basketball court here,
39:21 because we were not allowed in any other park districts.
39:23 Thanks a lot, Chicago.
39:24 Yeah.
39:24 Yeah.
39:25 Which you made us do.
39:26 Makes no sense.
39:28 Makes no sense.
39:30 I don't know.
39:31 Anything else?
39:32 No.
39:32 Oh, man.
39:33 [LAUGHTER]
39:34 I like that.
39:35 That started with me being mad, and I think
39:37 I got it across to you guys.
39:38 Yeah?
39:39 Yeah.
39:39 Because it makes no sense.
39:41 I'm more confused.
39:42 Like, wait, why are you mad?
39:42 What's the problem?
39:43 What's the problem?
39:44 What's your problem?
39:44 It's like the Rudy thing.
39:45 What's your problem?
39:46 What's your problem?
39:47 Yeah.
39:48 I don't know.
39:49 I don't know what their problem is.
39:51 Are we an anti-Chicago Park District podcast after this?
39:54 I think so.
39:55 That's two complaints.
39:56 I love the parks.
39:57 You know what I mean?
39:58 It's a very Chicago-driven thing.
40:00 They all have pride in their park.
40:01 But what are we doing?
40:02 The way they run.
40:03 It's crazy.
40:04 The city, man.
40:06 This city.
40:07 Yeah.
40:08 Should we get Dante in here?
40:08 I brought that up to--
40:11 what's his name?
40:11 Brandon Johnson, when he came on the podcast.
40:13 What did he say?
40:15 I think he agreed.
40:16 Did you talk about this bocce situation with him?
40:18 No, I didn't talk about that.
40:20 Because that's where it gets into the whole hiring process.
40:22 We had an instructor that we really liked.
40:25 And our supervisor position was over, to run the whole park.
40:29 And they're like, oh, no, because the process goes,
40:31 you have to go instructor to a small park and then a big park.
40:34 And this is a big park.
40:35 So it's like, why don't we just keep a guy who it works with?
40:38 Yeah, who knows this park.
40:39 Yes.
40:40 And there was a whole community meetings.
40:42 And everyone was trying to get this guy to stay.
40:44 But they're like, ah, nah, we're going
40:45 to move this person who doesn't know anything
40:47 about the community here.
40:48 And then that guy can just go find another job.
40:50 It is like--
40:51 It's crazy.
40:53 It's crazy.
40:55 I'm sure people--
40:57 It doesn't seem like it's a meritocracy.
40:59 If that guy's good and he's from there,
41:00 he should be able to get it.
41:01 Yep, that's all right.
41:03 Yeah.
41:03 Yeah.
41:06 Man, people listen nationally.
41:07 I'd be like, what the fuck's going on with you today?
41:09 Can I tell you something?
41:10 What?
41:10 Even I'm a little, what the fuck's going on here?
41:14 I apologize.
41:15 I get it.
41:16 You're right.
41:17 Your parks-- where people ask you, where are you from?
41:19 Chicago.
41:20 You'll say your local park over the neighborhood.
41:22 Dude, I go to my park every year.
41:24 Can I tell you that?
41:24 No.
41:26 On my birthday or a couple days after, around.
41:28 And I just like--
41:29 it's kind of like a sanctuary to me.
41:31 You sit on a park bench and say, how's the bench?
41:33 Thinking spot.
41:34 I swear to God.
41:35 On your birthday, you reflect on the previous year.
41:37 Yeah, kind of.
41:38 I'm like, what's--
41:38 Where it all went wrong.
41:40 You sound like Michael Scott swinging on the swings.
41:42 Not on the swings.
41:43 I'm on the bench.
41:44 I'm on the bench.
41:45 But yeah, I don't know.
41:46 It's kind of like a--
41:48 Feeding ducks.
41:49 --super late.
41:50 Yeah.
41:51 It's just me.
41:51 It's-- yeah, it's nostalgia overdrive, too.
41:53 Yeah.
41:54 It's not always on the day.
41:55 It's maybe sometimes that week or whatever.
41:58 But yeah, every year, I'm like, you just kind of think.
42:00 Yeah.
42:01 Sometimes you need to think.
42:02 I used to have a thinking spot.
42:03 You know?
42:04 Yeah.
42:04 Where were you?
42:05 It was when I lived in--
42:08 I lived at Clark and Armatures.
42:09 It was Orleans and Dickens.
42:11 This was a long time ago.
42:12 But it was right close to the lake.
42:13 And I would go-- it's probably where the murderers are
42:16 happening now.
42:17 But you would go right north of the zoo.
42:21 It's not quite up to the harbor.
42:24 But they just had a great spot, thinking,
42:25 we'll go over the water.
42:26 Yeah, see?
42:27 Yeah.
42:28 You know, just--
42:28 Ponder.
42:29 Yeah.
42:29 Ponder things.
42:30 It just brings me back, gives me some perspective.
42:32 I don't know.
42:33 It's been a--
42:34 Oh, it's nice.
42:35 Yeah.
42:36 It's quiet.
42:37 Yeah, that's like going to-- visiting a cemetery vibes,
42:39 though, of your old park.
42:41 You don't hang out at it anymore.
42:42 Yeah.
42:43 No, it's-- I mean, yeah.
42:44 You visit a lot of cemeteries?
42:45 Sometimes.
42:46 You see everything that's changed.
42:48 You see all the memories.
42:49 Yeah.
42:49 I don't know.
42:50 I enjoy it.
42:52 All right, then.
42:54 This was weird, but--
42:55 Parks and Rec.
42:57 Shout out to the parks, I guess.
42:59 But not really.
43:00 Fuck them.
43:01 All right, everybody.
43:02 Thank you for listening.
43:03 Thank you for watching.
43:04 That's it for today.
43:05 We'll be back tomorrow.
43:06 See you then.
43:07 (whooshing)
43:09 (whooshing)
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