Rural domestic abuse A survivor’s story

Derbyshire Times

Rural domestic abuse: A survivor's story - Derbyshire Constabulary

Transcript

00:00 As I've grown up, domestic abuse was that your husband, your partner, your wife hit you.

00:07 It was physical, not mental.

00:11 So I didn't believe it to be domestic abuse.

00:26 I blessed him, hide the car keys, hide my passport, hide all documents, money documents,

00:35 bank books, so I couldn't go to the building society and draw money out.

00:40 Constantly asking me where I was going and who I was meeting.

00:45 And it takes its toll after, you know, a while.

00:50 The mental abuse went on for probably a year almost.

00:55 But then the physical abuse, it started quite quickly

01:03 and up until, obviously, there was a big incident.

01:09 It was a normal day as, you know, any other.

01:14 We took, I took the children to school, you know, come to school, picking up, went to pick them up.

01:22 Kevin was convinced I was going somewhere else, wanted to come with me.

01:27 The school's five minutes away.

01:30 We had a bit of a heated discussion about why, you know, if I can't go and fetch the children,

01:36 five minutes, we'll be back in ten minutes.

01:40 But he was insistent that he came.

01:44 We drove through the village into a field, the land that we farm,

01:50 and Kevin hit me with an axe on my head.

01:57 He just kept saying that, "I know you're leaving me, but you're not, not now."

02:03 All I wanted to do was get the axe off him.

02:08 So we had a bit of a scuffle.

02:11 I actually managed to get the axe out of his hand

02:14 and because of the time of year it was, we was in a mowing grass field.

02:19 So I just launched the axe behind me, knowing it would be harder to find it in the long grass.

02:27 And then Kevin floored me and tried to strangle me.

02:33 Sounds a bit strange, but his eyes weren't really focusing.

02:39 And all I could think about was being okay for the children.

02:44 I've got to get out of this situation.

02:47 So I was trying to reassure Kevin, telling him that, "Don't be silly, I love you."

02:52 All the while this was going on, I actually managed to get his hands from around my neck.

02:59 And then Kevin sort of changed, like he'd realised what he'd done

03:10 and just got up, walked off to the car and drove off.

03:14 The car stopped at the side of the road and I asked for help.

03:33 I asked to be taken back up into the village for my children.

03:38 Obviously, I didn't realise what I actually looked like.

03:43 There was blood everywhere.

03:46 I told the driver that my husband had tried to kill me

03:50 and he took me to a workplace where there was first aiders.

03:56 It's, I think, one of the hardest things I've ever had to do is tell my children.

04:01 To tell your child that their dad has passed away,

04:06 to tell your children hows and whys is very hard

04:11 because all you want to do is protect them.

04:14 Obviously, myself, I thought, "Well, people will talk about you behind your back.

04:20 They'll gossip about you. Who do you trust enough to tell?"

04:27 And like I say, unfortunately, it isn't until something does happen

04:32 that you do realise that the support was always there.

04:36 It's the easiest thing to do, to talk.

04:41 It's hard to know that it's okay to.

04:46 You know, I wish I had. Things might have been different.

04:50 [Music plays]

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