- 3 years ago
Agha Majid Or Saleem Albela Ke Thane Mai Vikky Ki Takrar, Arzuu Ky Beauty Parlour Mai Dulha Khuwar
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00:00 "Hoshiyaariyaan, Hoshiyaariyaan"
00:02 Hello, viewers. I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching Hoshiyaariyaan.
00:06 Friends, we have to search for problems in life.
00:10 We have to find them. We have to achieve them.
00:13 You must be surprised, who will search for the problem, find it and achieve it?
00:18 Yes, all those people who were successful,
00:20 who were in search of problems in life,
00:24 but didn't try to escape them.
00:26 Who can say that he has never faced any problem in his life?
00:29 Problems do come, but those who find them,
00:33 they get the ease.
00:35 The reason is that if you want to find a cure,
00:38 you have to find a disease.
00:40 If you want to make a new engine or a new machine,
00:44 you have to work hard for it.
00:47 If you want to make life easy for someone,
00:51 you have to find the problem first.
00:54 When someone faced a problem in reaching somewhere,
00:58 he must have thought of making a car.
01:00 When someone faced a problem in a headache,
01:03 he must have thought of making a medicine.
01:05 Remember, problems do come.
01:08 They come in all forms.
01:09 You just have to decide whether you take it as an opportunity
01:13 and get ease after that
01:15 or you cry over the problem and pray that it doesn't come again.
01:20 Let's start today's show with this message.
01:23 Let's take you to the police station and see what's happening there.
01:27 Mr. Asim faces a lot of problems in life.
01:29 How?
01:30 He searches for the problem and eats weird food
01:34 and then has a problem in the bathroom.
01:36 You talk about the big message.
01:41 Do you make it or do you write it?
01:45 - It's monologue. - Monologue.
01:47 There are five to seven people and you're writing monologue.
01:51 Actually, I'm just a dacoit.
01:55 I can take the names of people who are famous
01:59 and who talk about good things.
02:03 I can take their stories and share them with you.
02:07 I don't have any knowledge or wisdom in it.
02:10 It's a good thing.
02:11 You should have knowledge.
02:14 But how much knowledge can a dacoit have?
02:17 You're talking about a kid.
02:20 I have a parcel of Ukkaad. Let me send it tomorrow.
02:23 That's why it's said that you should be humble.
02:26 - That's right. - He's smarter than you.
02:30 - He'll be a dacoit. - I'll send it.
02:34 - He's also called a dacoit. - Yes.
02:36 - Yes. - Sir.
02:37 You're sitting on a small post.
02:39 - You should do the doping. - Doping?
02:43 - Doping. - Yes.
02:45 - The song is made on this. - You're doing a doping show.
02:50 Sir, I've given you a request. Read it.
02:54 - I've given you a request. - Yes.
02:56 - Mr. Ali... - You should have written Mr. Ali.
03:00 - Sir, you think he's Mr. Ali. - No.
03:02 He's Mr. Ali.
03:03 If you wanted to write Mr. Ali, you should have given me a request.
03:07 Mr. Ali is called Mr. Ali.
03:10 You're a fool.
03:14 I think you're uncomfortable on the chair.
03:19 His face is like a chair.
03:23 If you spray it, he'll look like a golden man.
03:26 - Yes. - I think he's a golden man.
03:29 Look at his face. He looks like a criminal in his own police station.
03:32 I think Mr. IG has changed his face and is monitoring you.
03:36 - He's checking your attitude. - No one can change his face so much.
03:40 No one can change his face so much.
03:42 - Mr. IG is a good man. - Yes.
03:44 - He's a decent man. - He's a smart man.
03:46 - He's smart and lovely. - And progressive.
03:49 He's progressive.
03:51 Did you face any case in Lahore?
03:53 - No. - Okay.
03:55 It's not like that. He's a loving man.
03:57 - Yes. - What's your problem, Cheetah?
04:00 I'm not your problem. I've always suspected you.
04:03 Mr. Ali, read the next part. What did he write?
04:07 He wrote that Mr. Ali
04:09 wants your permission to do a show.
04:13 - Yes, sir. - Is he sane?
04:16 - Why? - Has he gone mad?
04:17 - No. - What's the reason?
04:18 Sir, believe me. I've been doing this for 40 years.
04:22 - Yes. - I've never done a show in my life.
04:24 - That's the reason. - Really?
04:28 Believe me. I'll break my hand if I do a show.
04:31 That's amazing.
04:32 - He's never allowed to do a show. - No, that's wrong.
04:35 - You allow him to do it. - No, he doesn't.
04:39 - He'll ruin the show. - Why?
04:41 He doesn't allow to do a show.
04:43 You allow him to do it and you're doing it with a lot of effort.
04:46 You're talking nonsense.
04:49 - It's my duty. - No, I'm doing it.
04:52 - Listen, you're a good and sensible man. - Yes, sir.
04:55 Why are you doing this?
04:57 - He wants to talk. - It's a matter of the police station.
05:00 - He's not listening to me. - You don't know about the police station.
05:03 You're a rich man. How can you do this?
05:06 You're a poor man. How can you do this?
05:09 Mr. Asim, he must be helpless.
05:12 - She's making her own decisions. - Thank you.
05:14 - Thank you. You're a woman. - Yes.
05:16 You're helping us.
05:17 You're helping us.
05:22 - No. - We've got so many jobs.
05:24 Mr. Asim, you'll regret it later.
05:27 Meena, you don't have an elderly family.
05:29 They won't help you.
05:31 Helping is..
05:34 We know, but Amira, look at us.
05:38 We don't just buy the papers.
05:41 We help you.
05:43 Yes, that's it.
05:45 You do the work.
05:47 - Yes. - He does the work.
05:49 We don't have any work.
05:52 I've understood that you're a stone.
05:55 You don't do the work.
05:57 Mr. Asim, you didn't have to be so formal.
06:00 - Yes. - What?
06:02 - You're being formal. - Yes.
06:05 You're being formal.
06:07 You don't do the work.
06:10 Try to read the whole wall.
06:13 You're talking as if we're talking about a mother.
06:16 You'll have your own.
06:18 We'll have to prove that you're a woman.
06:24 I'm sorry, but I can't do that.
06:27 I mean, I want to write.
06:30 I know. Wow. Thank you.
06:31 - That means.. - Yes.
06:33 That means I didn't do it.
06:35 I think he's a stone.
06:38 He's a stone.
06:39 - Listen. - Yes.
06:41 If you're going to Shiraz,
06:42 get me Sagar Siddiqui's son.
06:44 He's mentioned him in a couple of poems.
06:47 Which poem?
06:48 - Sagar Siddiqui's poem. - Yes.
06:51 - Make friends with beggars. - Make friends with beggars.
06:54 You know, this is worse than being a beggar.
06:59 - Making friends with beggars. - He's right.
07:01 - Make friends with beggars. - Hello.
07:03 I'll teach you the rules of being a king.
07:05 - What's wrong with that? - You white man.
07:08 Tell me what's wrong.
07:10 Sir, the thing is..
07:12 I want to get married.
07:15 I want to see the wedding.
07:18 You're too young.
07:23 Let it be.
07:25 Girls go to the wedding.
07:27 Boys will be there.
07:28 I feel bad that the groom's family is here to see the bride.
07:32 I'm not a decoration piece.
07:34 I'll go and choose the wedding.
07:36 - That's very progressive. - It's right.
07:39 She's right.
07:41 Who wants to marry me?
07:44 How many alliances do you want to see?
07:47 I'll go to Multan, Pindi and Sialkot.
07:51 If you're already married to a Multan girl, find another one.
07:54 I don't understand. Why didn't she choose a boy from Kare?
08:01 Boys don't come to Kare and Kabul.
08:02 There's a proposal in Pindi.
08:04 But she doesn't have a job.
08:05 - Whose proposal is it? - K. Rashid.
08:07 We don't want to get married in Pindi.
08:10 - We don't have a girl. - Why?
08:12 I'm not smart. I swear on you.
08:15 You keep asking me who's smart and who's not.
08:19 Sir, I think Sialkot will be fine.
08:23 You're right. You're going to see the proposal.
08:25 I'll come tomorrow and eat food.
08:27 Give them time to select.
08:31 They'll find a groom.
08:33 Sir, I'll need a 15-day leave.
08:35 What will you do in 15 days?
08:37 I'll buy clothes, do shopping, get ready.
08:42 I'll go to the beauty parlour.
08:44 That's it? No one will go to the beauty parlour.
08:47 They'll take money and spoil the food.
08:49 - What happened? - Sir, now...
08:50 Are you with me?
08:52 I'm at school with the police. Don't you send thugs?
08:55 - Hello. - Introduce yourself.
08:58 Sir, my name is Afrah Siab.
08:59 - Afrah Siab? - Afrah Siab.
09:01 - That's his name. - Afrah Siab.
09:03 Your name is like a herb.
09:05 - Okay. - You'll find Afrah Siab in the morning.
09:09 - What's your name? - Afrah Siab.
09:11 That's better than the stone of a horse.
09:14 I'll tell you where to find Siab.
09:17 What's the problem?
09:19 In short, sir, it's a short story.
09:21 I won't take much time.
09:23 You'll have to talk.
09:25 It should be short.
09:26 I don't want to waste your time and my time.
09:29 - It's useless. - Sure.
09:30 I won't waste your time.
09:31 I won't waste your time.
09:33 - I won't waste your time. - Sure.
09:35 I won't waste your time.
09:37 I won't waste your time.
09:38 I won't waste your time.
09:40 I won't waste your time.
09:42 I won't waste your time.
09:43 I won't waste your time.
09:44 I won't waste your time.
09:46 I won't waste your time.
09:48 I won't waste your time.
09:49 I won't waste your time.
09:51 I won't waste your time.
09:52 I won't waste your time.
09:54 I won't waste your time.
09:56 I won't waste your time.
09:57 I won't waste your time.
09:59 I won't waste your time.
10:00 What's the matter with you?
10:02 You're not listening to me.
10:03 Tell me what happened.
10:05 I'll tell you what happened.
10:06 The beauty parlour in front of your police station
10:09 has done a fraud with me.
10:11 - Fraud? - One minute.
10:12 - Call the owner of the place. - Yes, sir.
10:14 - Call him. He'll call him. - Okay, sir.
10:16 No.
10:17 It's good that you called the owner.
10:19 Because his story is too long.
10:21 What report do you want to file?
10:23 I've filed a report.
10:24 I haven't done my work properly.
10:26 Go inside and check.
10:28 This is not the way to file a report.
10:29 Sir, I'm getting ready at the beauty parlour at 7 am.
10:33 - 7 am? - Yes, sir.
10:35 You were getting ready.
10:36 You were going to give milk to the beauty parlour.
10:38 - Listen to me, sir. - Yes.
10:39 I've brought Rs. 10,000.
10:41 - Okay. - I've to get ready.
10:43 - What's the need to get ready? - I've heard your situation.
10:45 - Yes. - All the ladies who come here
10:47 - will decide later. - Sir, you write my complaint.
10:49 Actually, to contour the face
10:52 it's very important to have a chiseled face.
10:55 Really?
10:57 - Sir, this is the case. - Are you at the police station
11:00 or at your aunt's house?
11:01 I've a complaint that you've cheated with them
11:04 and you've brought Rs. 10,000 from them.
11:06 - Yes. - And their facial or whatever.
11:08 I can see that you haven't prepared it.
11:10 It's unfair. He's the one who cheats.
11:12 But Mr. Arun, it's also a matter of understanding
11:15 that makeup can only enhance
11:17 but not change the face.
11:18 But Irza, we see you, Arzu, everyone else getting ready
11:22 and Malaika, you change.
11:23 We get ready.
11:25 We don't get skin treatments done.
11:26 We don't get Botox done.
11:28 - We get it done. - Who gets it done?
11:30 I get Arzu ready every day.
11:32 Arzu has natural beauty.
11:34 - And Malaika has beauty. - I'm sorry.
11:36 I watch your show daily.
11:38 I know who's doing your makeup and she's doing her makeup.
11:42 - In short. - Yes.
11:45 I'll tell you later.
11:46 How much money did you take from them?
11:48 - I took.. - Rs. 10,000.
11:50 But I charge Rs. 1 lakh for makeup.
11:53 - Okay. - My name is Bua and I'm a big liar.
11:56 - What? - Listen to me, Bua.
11:59 You're so emotional.
12:02 I'm not asking you who you are.
12:05 - No, I'm a liar. - She's a liar.
12:07 I'm a makeup artist.
12:09 I have 1.1 million followers on Instagram
12:12 and I do everyone's makeup in Rs. 1 lakh and above.
12:15 - Sir, leave it. - I have nothing to do with
12:18 how many followers you have.
12:20 Answer my question.
12:22 - Sir, I have 1.1 million.. - I don't understand.
12:23 You spent Rs. 10,000 on makeup.
12:26 - Sir, listen to me. - Listen to me.
12:28 - Yes, sir. - You were supposed to get a friar.
12:30 - Sir. - You're a liar.
12:33 Sir, I'll get a friar who'll do my makeup
12:36 and I'll be a successful friar.
12:38 - What makeup do you have? - Nothing. Just mud.
12:42 He slid into my DM
12:48 and I told him the charges.
12:50 Ma'am, you didn't come to my station.
12:52 - I'll tell you. - You didn't come.
12:54 - Sir, tell him. - Ma'am, come here.
12:56 He said there's no incentive for small businesses.
13:00 - Right. - Like, poor people like us
13:02 - should get a concession. - Okay.
13:04 I made a deal of Rs. 1 lakh and Rs. 10,000.
13:07 - Him? - Yes.
13:08 And I gave him an online appointment.
13:10 - If you'd made a deal of Rs. 10,000.. - Yes.
13:14 ..then it's not a favour. It's a compromise.
13:16 - Yes. - Compromise.
13:17 Then you should get him ready. That's the matter.
13:19 I've got him ready.
13:21 - He's ready. - What have you got him ready?
13:23 - Look. - You're trapped here.
13:25 You're so beautiful.
13:27 - I'll send you to the police. - Tell him.
13:30 He's ready to come to the station.
13:32 Yes, he's ready.
13:34 - I've got him ready. - He comes without a face.
13:37 - So? - I was dead.
13:38 I've got him a base.
13:41 I've got him eyelash extensions.
13:43 I've contoured his face.
13:45 Ma'am, we're not like that.
13:47 - He's got nothing. - Nothing?
13:49 I've got him hair extensions.
13:53 - He doesn't have his own hair. - Why?
13:55 Are you my sister-in-law?
13:57 No, ma'am. I don't have anything.
13:59 The lenses in his eyes are mine.
14:02 - Look at his eyes. - Yes, look.
14:06 And what's this shine on his face?
14:08 - This is a highlighter, baby. - This?
14:11 You're trapped here.
14:13 You'll get beaten up.
14:17 Do you think he'll get beaten up?
14:20 He took a pre-bridal package.
14:23 Look at his feet. I've made them white.
14:26 I've applied it on his feet.
14:28 He's not looking at my feet. He's looking at my face.
14:30 - You've really done a fraud. - Of course.
14:32 You didn't bring any official money.
14:36 You've given him Rs. 10,000. I'm giving you a receipt.
14:38 Look at my sponge. It's blackened.
14:41 I've blended it. This is my sponge.
14:43 You've cleaned it so thoroughly.
14:47 - You've done a great job. - You didn't pay me.
14:50 You're trapped here.
14:52 You'll get beaten up.
14:55 Why don't you hire a beautician?
14:58 I bought these three sponges for $100 from Dubai.
15:02 - How much? - For $100.
15:04 You were going to ruin them.
15:05 You gave them to me. I'll get you a new sponge.
15:07 Aunt, what you did was very unfair.
15:10 - He's not ready. - Sir, I'll give you the receipt.
15:13 We're blind. He's not ready.
15:14 - He's not ready at all. - Yes.
15:17 He's a fool. It's his wedding.
15:20 - You should've paid him a little. - Hold on.
15:23 I'm sorry to say that you've bought a makeup for Rs. 100,000
15:27 - and you didn't do anything. - You didn't do anything.
15:28 Hold on. I'll do an exercise of transformation in my parlour.
15:32 I've a picture of before and after.
15:34 - Show me. - No.
15:36 - Show me. - Listen to me.
15:37 It's my wedding today. I'm ready.
15:39 My girlfriend has gone home three times and brought a stamp.
15:42 I request you.
15:44 - I'll give you the receipt. - Yes, sir.
15:46 I won't believe it because I know everything.
15:49 What did I do? You're the one who's trapped.
15:52 My friend has gone to Patina without a denture.
15:55 I'll give you a bill. You should be my mother
15:59 if you don't believe me.
16:01 - Shall I show you the picture of before? - Yes.
16:05 - Shall I? - Yes.
16:06 - Final decision. - Show me.
16:08 Show me.
16:09 - Look at it. - Yes.
16:11 - Are you ready? - Yes.
16:13 This is Yadavi.
16:14 Is there a difference between your mother and me?
16:18 Ladies and gentlemen, we'll take a short break.
16:25 We'll meet again after the break.
16:26 Are you scared of water in your dreams?
16:29 - No. - No.
16:30 I've seen water in different forms.
16:32 I've seen it in different forms.
16:32 Some water is sweet and some is lemon.
16:34 Sir, I've seen water boiling in front of me.
16:38 - It's boiling. - It's boiling.
16:40 I've seen it a couple of times in my dreams.
16:42 - The water is boiling. - Yes.
16:44 The car stopped and it went to get eggs.
16:46 (audience laughing)