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SWAON
  • 4 weeks ago

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00:00My name is Mary Alice Young.
00:19When you read this morning's paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day
00:23I had last week.
00:25Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life.
00:28But that all changed last Thursday.
00:31Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.
00:34I made breakfast for my family.
00:38I performed my chores.
00:42I completed my projects.
00:45I ran my errands.
00:48In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day,
00:52quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection.
00:58That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet
01:05and retrieve a revolver that had never been used.
01:09My body was discovered by my neighbor, Mrs. Martha Hoover, who had been startled by a strange popping sound.
01:21Her curiosity aroused.
01:23Mrs. Hoover tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced.
01:30After some initial hesitation, she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months before.
01:37It's my neighbor.
01:38I think she's been shot.
01:39There's blood everywhere.
01:40Yes, you've got to send an ambulance.
01:44You've got to send one right now.
01:57And for a moment, Mrs. Hoover stood motionless in her kitchen, grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy.
02:04But only for a moment.
02:05If there was one thing Mrs. Hoover was known for, it was her ability to look on the bright side.
02:11I was laid to rest on a Monday.
02:12After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respects.
02:18And, as people do in these situations, they brought food.
02:19Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.
02:20Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.
02:21Of course, she didn't want to eat it.
02:22But she didn't want to eat it.
02:23She didn't want to eat it.
02:24But only for a moment.
02:25If there was one thing Mrs. Hoover was known for, it was her ability to look on the bright side.
02:28I was laid to rest on a Monday.
02:31After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respects.
02:36And as people do in these situations, they brought food.
02:41Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.
02:44Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.
02:47Of course, she didn't cook much while she was moving up the corporate ladder.
02:50She didn't have the time.
02:52But when her doctor announced Lynette was pregnant, her husband Tom had an idea.
02:56Why not quit your job?
02:58Kids do better with stay-at-home moms.
02:59It would be so much less stressful.
03:02But this was not the case.
03:04In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic, she was now forced to get her fried chicken from a fast-food restaurant.
03:11Lynette would have appreciated the irony if she stopped to think about it.
03:15But she couldn't.
03:16She didn't have the time.
03:17Stop it!
03:18Stop it!
03:19Stop it!
03:20Stop it!
03:21Stop it!
03:22No!
03:23You are going to behave today.
03:24I am not going to be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood.
03:25And, just so you know how serious I am...
03:27What's that?
03:29Santa's cell phone number.
03:31How'd you get that?
03:32I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf.
03:35And if any of you acts up, so help me, I will call Santa and I will tell him you want socks for Christmas.
03:42You willing to risk that?
03:44Okay.
03:45Let's get this over with.
03:51Gabrielle Solis, who lives down the block, brought a spicy paella.
03:57Since her modeling days in New York, Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food and rich men.
04:07Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions, proposed on their third date.
04:11Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes.
04:14But she soon discovered this happened every time Carlos closed a big deal.
04:19Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.
04:22However, her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler.
04:26If you talk to Al Mason at this thing, I want you to casually mention how much I paid for your necklace.
04:31Why don't I just pin the receipt to my chest?
04:33He let me know how much he paid for his wife's new convertible.
04:35Look, just work it into the conversation.
04:36There's no way I can just work that in, Carlos.
04:38Why not?
04:39At the Donahue party, everyone was talking mutual funds.
04:42And you found a way to mention you slept with half the Yankee outfield.
04:45They're telling you it came up in the context of the conversation.
04:47Hey!
04:48People are starting to stare.
04:49Can you keep your voice down, please?
04:50Absolutely.
04:51I wouldn't want them to think we're not happy.
04:54Brie Vandekamp, who lives next door, brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch.
04:59Brie was known for her cooking.
05:01And for making her own clothes.
05:04And for doing her own gardening.
05:07And for reupholstering her own furniture.
05:09Yes, Brie's many talents were known throughout the neighborhood.
05:13And everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of Brie as the perfect wife and mother.
05:18Everyone, that is.
05:20Except her own family.
05:25Paul.
05:26Zachary.
05:27Hello, Mrs. Vandekamp.
05:28Brie, you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble.
05:30It was no trouble at all.
05:31Now, the basket with the red ribbon is filled with desserts for your guests.
05:34But the one with the blue ribbon is just for you and Zachary.
05:37It's got rolls, muffins, breakfast-type things.
05:41Well, the least I could do is make sure you boys had a decent meal to look forward to in the morning.
05:46I know you're out of your minds with grief.
05:48Yes, we are.
05:52Of course, I will need the baskets back once you're done.
05:54Of course.
06:01Susan Mayer, who lives across the street, brought macaroni and cheese.
06:05Her husband Carl always teased her about her macaroni, saying it was the only thing she knew how to cook and she rarely made it well.
06:13It was too salty the night she and Carl moved into their house.
06:17It was too watery the night she found lipstick on Carl's shirt.
06:20She burned it the night Carl told her he was leaving her for his secretary.
06:33A year had passed since the divorce.
06:35Susan had started to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life, even one who would make fun of her cooking.
06:41Mom, why would someone kill themselves?
06:44Well, sometimes people are so unhappy they think that's the only way they can solve their problems.
06:51But Mrs. Young always seemed happy.
06:54Yeah, sometimes people pretend to be one way on the outside when they're totally different on the inside.
06:59Oh, you mean like how dad's girlfriend is always smiling and says nice things, but deep down you just know she's a bitch?
07:04I don't like that word, Julie. But yeah, that's a great example.
07:06Great example.
07:09Hi. You're welcome.
07:17Hey, what's going on?
07:21Sorry I'm late.
07:23Hi, Susan.
07:25Hey.
07:26So, what did Carl say when you confronted him?
07:48You'll love this. He said,
07:50It doesn't mean anything. It was just sex.
07:52Oh, yes. Page one of the philanderer's handbook.
07:55Yeah, and then he got this zen look on his face and he said,
07:57You know, Susan, most men live lives of quiet desperation.
08:01Please tell me you punched him.
08:02No, I said, really? And what do most women lead? Lives of noisy fulfillment?
08:06Good for you.
08:07I mean, of all people, did he have to bang his secretary? I had that woman over for brunch.
08:11It's like my grandmother always said, an erect penis doesn't have a conscience.
08:14Even the limp ones aren't that ethical.
08:16This is half the reason I joined the NRA.
08:18Well, when Rex started going to those medical conferences, I wanted it in the back of his mind that he had a loving wife at home with a loaded Smith and Wesson.
08:26Lenny, Tom's always away on business. Do you ever worry he might?
08:29Oh, please. The man's gotten me pregnant three times in four years. I wish he was having sex with someone else.
08:35So, Susan, is he going to stop seeing that woman?
08:44I don't know.
08:49I'm sorry, you guys. I just...
08:53I just don't know how I'm going to survive this.
08:56Listen to me. We all have moments of desperation.
09:03But if we can face them head on, that's when we find out just how strong we really are.
09:13Susan. Susan!
09:15I was just saying Paul wants us to go over on Friday.
09:18He needs us to go through Mary Alice's closet and help pack up our things.
09:21He said he can't face doing it by himself.
09:23Sure, that's fine.
09:25Are you okay?
09:27Yeah.
09:29I'm just so angry.
09:30If Mary Alice was having problems, she should have come to us. She should have let us help her.
09:34What kind of problems could she have had?
09:36She was healthy, had a great home, a nice family.
09:39Her life was...
09:40Our life.
09:44No, if Mary Alice was having some sort of crisis, we'd have known.
09:47She lives 50 feet away, for God's sakes.
09:49Gabby, the woman killed herself.
09:51Something must have been going on.
10:06I wouldn't eat that if I were you.
10:07Why?
10:08I made it to trust me.
10:12Hey, hey, do you have a death wish?
10:14No, I just refuse to believe that anybody can screw up macaroni and cheese.
10:18Oh, my God.
10:23How did you...
10:24It tastes like it's burned and undercooked.
10:26Yeah, I get that a lot.
10:27Here you go.
10:32Thanks.
10:33I'm Mike Delfino.
10:34I just started renting The Sims' house next door.
10:36Susan Meyer.
10:37I live across the street.
10:39Oh, yeah.
10:40Mrs. Huber told me about you.
10:41Said you illustrate children's books.
10:43Yeah, I'm very big with the under five sets.
10:46What do you do?
10:47Plumber.
10:48So if you ever have a clog...
10:52...or something.
10:53Now that everybody's seen that I brought something, I should probably just throw this out.
11:00Ow!
11:01Knees up, you little vampire.
11:02Shhh.
11:03Shhh.
11:04Shhh.
11:05Shhh.
11:06Shhh.
11:07Shhh.
11:08Shhh.
11:09Shhh.
11:10Shhh.
11:11Shhh.
11:12Shhh.
11:13Ow!
11:14He's up, you little vampire.
11:15Shhh.
11:16Shhh.
11:17Shhh.
11:18Shhh.
11:19Zanette!
11:20I've been looking all over for you.
11:21Oh.
11:22Are you aware of what your sons are doing?
11:24Dannyville!
11:25Ha!
11:29Ha!
11:31Shhh!
11:32Ha!
11:35What are you doing?
11:36We are at a wake.
11:39When we got here, I said we could go in the pool.
11:41I said you could go by the pool.
11:44Do you have your swimsuits on?
11:46Yeah, we put them in our sock before we left.
11:49You three planned this.
11:50All right.
11:51That's it.
11:52Get out.
11:53No. I am your mother. You have to do what I say.
11:57Come on.
11:58We want swimming! You can't stop us!
12:10Here. Look.
12:13No!
12:14Get out! I think I wouldn't get in this pool if you...
12:16Let me get out! Get over here.
12:21Get over here!
12:23Get back!
12:25Get back!
12:30Move it!
12:31That's right! Get over here!
12:33Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
12:35Move it!
12:43Out! Get out!
12:45Go!
12:46Go!
12:47Go!
12:51Go!
12:52Paul.
12:53We have to leave now.
12:54Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.
12:58Go!
13:00Lynette shouldn't have been so concerned about my husband.
13:03He had other things on his mind.
13:05Things below the surface.
13:15The morning after my funeral, my friends and neighbors quietly went back to their busy, busy lives.
13:21Well, some did their cooking, and some did their cleaning, and some did their yoga. Others did their homework.
13:36Hi!
13:37Hi!
13:40I'm Julie. I kicked my soccer ball into your backyard.
13:42Oh.
13:43Okay. Well, let's go around and get it.
13:45Stay.
13:48His wife died a year ago. He wanted to stay in L.A., but there were too many memories.
13:51He's renting for tax purposes, but he hopes to buy a place real soon.
13:54I can't believe you went over there.
13:55Hey, I saw you both flirting at the wake. You're obviously into each other.
13:59Now that you know he's single, you can ask him out.
14:01Julie, I like Mr. Delfino. I do. I just... I don't even know if I'm ready to start dating yet.
14:07Ugh. You need to get back out there. Come on. How long has it been since you've had sex?
14:13Are you mad that I asked you that?
14:15No, I'm just trying to remember. I don't want to talk to you about my love life anymore. It weirds me out.
14:19I wouldn't have said anything. It's just...
14:21What?
14:23I heard Dad's girlfriend ask if you dated anyone since the divorce, and Dad said he doubted it.
14:31And then they both laughed.
14:33Hey, Susan.
14:49Hi, Mike. I brought you a little housewarming gift. I probably should have brought something by earlier, but...
14:55You're the first in the neighborhood to stop by.
14:57Really?
14:58Susan knew she was lucky.
14:59Well...
15:00An eligible bachelor had moved on to Wisteria Lane, and she was the first to find out.
15:05But she also knew the good news...
15:07Hello there!
15:08...travels quickly.
15:09Edie Britt was the most predatory divorcee in a five-block radius.
15:13Her conquests were numerous, varied, and legendary.
15:25Hi, Susan. I hope I'm not interrupting.
15:29You must be Mike Delfino. Hi, I'm Edie Britt. I live over there.
15:35Welcome to Wisteria Lane.
15:39Susan had met the enemy, and she was a slut.
15:43Thank you. What's this?
15:45Sausage puttanesca. It's just something I threw together.
15:49Oh, thanks, Edie. That's great.
15:53I'd invite you both in, but I was sort of in the middle of something.
15:56Oh, I'm late for an appointment anyway.
15:58And just like that, the race for Mike Delfino had begun.
16:02For a moment, Susan wondered if her rivalry with Edie would remain friendly.
16:07Oh, Mike, I heard you're a plumber?
16:11But she was reminded that when it came to men...
16:13Yeah.
16:14Do you think you could stop by later tonight and take a look at my pipes?
16:17Women don't fight fair.
16:19Sure.
16:20Thanks.
16:27Bye, Susan.
16:29You can't border me around like I'm a child.
16:31Gabrielle.
16:32No, no, no, no. I'm not going.
16:33It's business. Tanaka expects everyone to bring their wives.
16:36Every time I'm around that man, he tries to grab my ass.
16:39I made over 200,000 doing business with him last year.
16:42If he wants to grab your ass, you let him.
16:53John.
16:54Ow.
16:56Mrs. Solis.
16:57You scared me.
16:58Why is that bush still there?
16:59You were supposed to dig it up last week.
17:00I didn't have time last week.
17:02I don't want to hear your excuses.
17:03Just take care of it.
17:08I really hate the way you talk to me.
17:10And I really hate that I spent $15,000 on your diamond necklace that you couldn't live without.
17:15But I'm learning to deal with it.
17:17So, can I tell Tanaka we'll be there tomorrow night?
17:20John.
17:21We have bandages top shelf in the kitchen.
17:23Thanks, Mrs. Solis.
17:29Fine.
17:30I'll go.
17:31But I'm keeping my back pressed against the wall the entire time.
17:35See?
17:36Now this is what a marriage is all about.
17:38Compromise.
17:39Is your finger okay?
17:46Yeah.
17:47Yeah.
17:48It's just a small cut.
17:49Let me see.
17:50Hmm.
17:51You know, Mrs. Solis, um, I really like it when we hook up.
18:12But, um, well, you know, I gotta get my work done and I can't afford to lose this job.
18:17This table is hand-carved.
18:22Carlos had it imported from Italy.
18:24It cost him $23,000.
18:27You want to do it on the table this time?
18:30Absolutely.
18:47Why can't we ever have normal soup?
18:50Danielle, there's nothing abnormal about basil puree.
18:53Just once.
18:54Can we have a soup that people have heard of?
18:56Like, French onion or navy bean.
18:58First of all, your father can't eat onions.
19:00He's deathly allergic.
19:01And I won't even dignify your navy bean suggestion.
19:04So, how's the also bucco?
19:07It's okay.
19:08It's okay.
19:09It's okay?
19:11Andrew, I spent three hours cooking this meal.
19:14How do you think it makes me feel when you say, it's okay, in that sullen tone?
19:18Who asked you to spend three hours on dinner?
19:20Excuse me.
19:25Tim Harper's mom gets home from work, pops open a can of pork and beans, and boom.
19:30They're eating.
19:31Everyone's happy.
19:32You'd rather I serve pork and beans?
19:33Apologize now.
19:34I am begging.
19:35I'm saying, do you always have to serve cuisine?
19:38Can't we ever just have food?
19:39Are you doing drugs?
19:40What?
19:41Change in behavior is one of the warning signs, and you have been as fresh as paint for the
19:44last six months.
19:45That certainly would explain why you're always locked in the bathroom.
19:48Trust me, that is not what he is doing.
19:50Shut up.
19:51Mom, I'm not the one with the problem here, all right?
19:53You're the one always acting like she's running for mayor of Stepford.
19:57Rex, seeing that you're the head of this household, I would really appreciate you saying something.
20:05Pass the salt?
20:18Three days after my funeral, Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion.
20:23Indignation.
20:24Tom, this is my fifth message and you still haven't called me back.
20:28Well, you must be having a lot of fun on your business trip.
20:31I can only imagine.
20:32Well, guess what?
20:33The kids and I want to have some fun, too.
20:35So, unless you call me back by noon, we are getting on a plane and joining you.
20:39Mom!
20:40Not now, honey.
20:41Mommy's threatening Daddy.
20:42Mom!
20:43No, I...
20:44Where are your brothers?
20:45Noodle is my favorite.
20:47Linette Scavo?
20:48Crap!
20:49Natalie Klein!
20:50I don't believe it!
20:51Linette!
20:52How long has it been?
20:53Years!
20:54Uh, how are you?
20:55How's the firm?
20:56Good.
20:57Everyone misses you.
20:58Yeah.
20:59We all say if you hadn't quit, you'd be running the place by now.
21:02Yeah, well...
21:03So, how's domestic life?
21:04Don't you just love being a mom?
21:05And there it was.
21:06The question that Linette always dreaded.
21:07Well, to be honest...
21:08For those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable.
21:09So, Linette responded.
21:10So, Linette responded.
21:11And there it was.
21:12The question that Linette always dreaded.
21:13Well, to be honest...
21:14For those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable.
21:16So, Linette responded.
21:17So, Linette responded as she always did...
21:18She lied.
21:19That's the best job I've ever had.
21:21Oh, no!
21:22Oh, no!
21:23Oh, no!
21:24Oh, no!
21:25Oh, no!
21:26Oh!
21:27Oh, yeah, calm!
21:28Oh!
21:29Oh, yeah!
21:30Oh!
21:31Oh!
21:32Oh, no!
21:33Oh, no!
21:34Oh, no!
21:35Oh, no!
21:36Oh, no, no...
21:37Oh, no!
21:38Oh, no, no!
21:40Oh, no!
21:42Oh, no!
21:43Oh, no!
21:44Oh!
21:45Oh, no, no!
21:46Oh, no!
21:47You know what I don't get?
21:50What?
21:51Why you married Mrs. Solis.
21:56Well, he promised to give me everything I've ever wanted.
22:02Did he?
22:04Yes.
22:06And why aren't you happy?
22:10Turns out I wanted all the wrong things.
22:14So, do you love him?
22:18I do.
22:19Well, then why are we here?
22:21Why are we doing this?
22:23Because I don't want to wake up one morning with a sudden urge to blow my brains out.
22:31Hey, can I have a drag?
22:33Absolutely not.
22:35You are much too young to smoke.
22:40How would you feel about me using your child support payments for plastic surgery?
22:43Stop being so nervous.
22:44You're just asking him out to dinner.
22:46It's no big deal.
22:47You're right.
22:49So, is that your project for school?
22:51You know, when I was in fifth grade, I made the White House out of sugar cubes.
22:54Stop stalling and go.
22:56Before Mike figures out he can do better.
22:59Tell me again why I fought for custody of you.
23:02You were using me to hurt Dad.
23:03Oh, that's right.
23:05Oh, God.
23:09Okay.
23:17Hi.
23:18Hey, Susan.
23:19Are you busy?
23:21Are you busy?
23:21No, not at all.
23:22What's up?
23:23Well, I...
23:24I just, uh, was wondering if, um...
23:27If there was any chance that you, uh...
23:31I just wanted to ask if...
23:35Edie.
23:37Hey there, Susan.
23:39What are you...
23:39I was making ambrosia, and I made too much, so I thought I'd bring some over to Mike.
23:43What's going on?
23:46Uh, Susan was just gonna ask me something.
23:51Uh...
23:52I have a clog.
23:55Excuse me?
23:56And you're a plumber, right?
23:58Yeah.
23:59The clog's in the pipe.
24:01Yeah, that's usually where they are.
24:03Well, I've got one.
24:05Oh, okay.
24:05Well, uh, let me get my tools.
24:07Now?
24:07You want to come over now?
24:08You have company.
24:10I don't mind.
24:12Uh, just give me two minutes.
24:13I'll be right over.
24:24That's it.
24:25Just stuff the hair down.
24:26I stuffed it.
24:27It's not enough to clog in here.
24:28Turn it up.
24:30Put in this paper.
24:33And let's have cookie oil.
24:36Mom!
24:37Mom, I'm telling you, it's not working.
24:40Oh, God.
24:42That's him.
24:43How am I gonna stop with the sink?
24:53Well, here's your problem.
24:55Looks like somebody stuffed a bunch of popsicle sticks down here.
24:59I've told Julie a million times not to play in the kitchen.
25:02Kids, you know?
25:03All right, I'll go put in your orders, and I'll be right back with your drinks and your
25:12place for the salad bar.
25:15Andrew, can you help me?
25:16They have video games.
25:21Should we go play until our food gets here?
25:24Andrew, this is family time.
25:26I think that we should all...
25:26Go ahead and play.
25:36I know that you think I'm angry about coming here, but I'm not.
25:40You and the kids wanted a change of pace, something fun.
25:42I get it.
25:43Probably we'll want something healthier tomorrow night, though.
25:47I'm thinking about chicken, salt, and bokeh.
25:49I want a divorce.
25:53I just can't live in this...
25:56this detergent commercial anymore.
25:59The salad bar's right over there.
26:02Help yourself.
26:07Um, I think I'll go get your salad for you.
26:09Brie Vandicamp!
26:24Oh, hello, Mrs. Huber.
26:27We didn't get a chance to talk at Mary Alice's wake.
26:29How are you doing?
26:32Brie longed to share the truth about her husband's painful betrayal, but sadly for Brie, admitting
26:38defeat was not an option.
26:40Great.
26:42Everything is just great.
26:44Okay, well, I got you the honey mustard dressing the ranch look just a little bit suspect.
26:58Are we going to talk about what I said?
27:00If you think I'm going to discuss the dissolution of my marriage in a place where the restrooms
27:03are labeled chicks and dudes, you're out of your mind.
27:08What's in this?
27:10What do you mean, what's in this?
27:11It's salad.
27:13With onions.
27:15What?
27:16You put onions in my salad!
27:18No, I didn't.
27:23Oh, wait.
27:24The sound that awakened my son was something he'd heard only once before, many years ago
27:38when he was quite young.
27:42But he recognized it instantly.
27:44It was the sound of a family secret.
27:54Seven days after my funeral, life on Wisteria Lane finally returned to normal.
28:18Which, for some of my friends, was unfortunate.
28:25Mommy!
28:26Mommy!
28:27Now what?
28:28Daddy's home!
28:30Yeah!
28:31Hey!
28:31Come on!
28:32Daddy!
28:33Hey, is anybody home?
28:35Hey!
28:35Yes!
28:36Yeah!
28:36Hey!
28:38I wasn't expecting you for a week.
28:40I have to go back to Frisco in the morning?
28:42What?
28:43I got your call.
28:43You sounded a little frazzled.
28:45Yeah!
28:46It's been a little rough.
28:47Hi.
28:48Yeah.
28:48Daddy, did you raise any presents?
28:51Oh, God.
28:52Presents.
28:53Wait a minute.
28:53Let me see.
28:57Oh.
28:57Yeah!
28:59Wait a minute.
29:00But I'm not going to give it to you unless you promise me to go outside right now and practice
29:04throwing for 20 minutes.
29:05Okay?
29:05You promise?
29:06Yeah!
29:07Yeah!
29:07Yeah!
29:07Get out there.
29:08Get out there.
29:08Who's open?
29:09Go out.
29:10Deeper.
29:10Deeper.
29:11Touchdown!
29:14Oh, my God.
29:15Oh!
29:18Oh, God.
29:21I'm being exhausted.
29:23I look terrible.
29:24I'm covered in peaches.
29:25I'm sorry, baby.
29:26I've got to have you.
29:28Well, is it okay if I just lie here?
29:31Absolutely.
29:35I love you.
29:37I love you more.
29:39Hi.
29:40Oh, baby.
29:40Oh, wait.
29:41I've got to tell you.
29:42I was having trouble with swelling, so the doctor took me off the pill, so you're just going
29:44to have to put on a condom.
29:46A condom?
29:46Yeah.
29:47What's the big deal?
29:48Let's risk it.
29:50Let's risk it?
29:51Yeah.
29:53Oh!
29:53Oh!
29:54Oh!
29:57Oh!
29:58Oh!
29:58Oh!
29:58Oh!
29:58Oh!
29:58Oh!
29:58Oh!
29:58Oh!
29:58Oh!
29:59Oh!
29:59Oh!
29:59Oh!
29:59Oh!
30:00Oh!
30:00Oh!
30:00Oh!
30:01Oh!
30:01Oh!
30:01Oh!
30:02Oh!
30:02Oh!
30:02Oh!
30:03Oh!
30:03Oh!
30:04Oh!
30:04Oh!
30:05Oh!
30:06Oh!
30:06Oh!
30:07Oh!
30:08Oh!
30:09Think it was a mistake!
30:10Since when do you make mistakes?
30:11Huh...
30:12Oh!
30:12Oh!
30:13Oh!
30:14What's that supposed to mean?
30:15It means...
30:15I'm sick of you being so damn perfect all the time.
30:18I'm sick of the bizarre way your hair doesn't move.
30:22I'm sick of making your bed in the morning before I've even used the bathroom.
30:25Oh, you're this plastic suburban housewife with her pearls and her spatula,
30:29who says things like, we owe the Hendersons a dinner.
30:34Where's the woman I fell in love with?
30:38Who used to burn the toast and drink milk out of the carton?
30:45And laugh?
30:49I need her.
30:51Not this cold, perfect thing you've become.
31:00These need water.
31:15Brie sobbed quietly in the restroom for five minutes.
31:19But her husband never knew.
31:22Because when Brie finally emerged...
31:24She was perfect.
31:32I found my earrings. We can go now.
31:34Was John here today?
31:36Well, yeah.
31:38The lawn hasn't been mowed. I've had it. We're getting a real gardener.
31:42Why?
31:43Are you deaf? I just said he's not doing his job.
31:45It's dark. You just can't see that the lawn has been mowed.
31:48It hasn't been. Feel this grass.
31:50I'm not feeling the grass. Let's just get going. Come on. We're late.
31:53Take care of it.
31:54Yes, sir.
31:56There's Tanaka.
31:58Time for me to go into my dance.
32:00Good luck, sweetheart.
32:01What?
32:04Oh, excuse me.
32:06Ma'am?
32:08You see that ma'am?
32:09You see that ma'am?
32:10Yeah, ma'am?
32:11You see that ma'am?
32:13A'am?
32:14I'm sorry.
32:16It's not my fault.
32:17It's a very good thing.
32:18I'm sorry.
32:21I'm sorry.
32:22Oh, excuse me, you see that man just walked away?
32:25Can you make sure he has a drink in his hand all night long?
32:31Yes, ma'am.
32:52Oh, excuse me.
33:22Oh, my God!
33:52Susan? Susan!
34:06Mrs. Huber, how you doing?
34:08Not too well, I'm afraid.
34:09I'm trying to find something to soothe my stomach.
34:12That's upset?
34:13Yeah. I had the worst macaroni and cheese at the wake.
34:16It's been running through me ever since.
34:17Oh, wow.
34:18And I need to be at my best.
34:20Evie Britt's son is spending the night tonight.
34:22Are you spending the night?
34:24Apparently, Edie is having a gentleman friend over for dinner.
34:27And I think she plans on entertaining into the wee hours,
34:31if you know what I mean.
34:34Oh, here's some antacid.
34:35Have you ever tried this?
34:38I can't believe it.
34:39This can't be happening.
34:41Mike can't like Edie better than me.
34:42He just can't.
34:43You don't know what's going on.
34:45Maybe they're just having dinner.
34:48You're right. They're doing it.
34:52Edie?
35:16Edie?
35:16Hello?
35:23Anybody home?
35:28I need to borrow sugar.
35:46And just like that, the possibility Susan had clung to, the maybe of Mike Delfino, was gone forever.
36:01And despite the precariousness of her situation, Susan took a moment to mourn her loss.
36:16It didn't take Susan long to realize this was just not her night.
36:38Is somebody else there?
36:41Oh, my God!
37:00...handled unattended in the den.
37:02Paramedics said she was lucky. She could have been killed.
37:05She was having sex with some guy when the fire started.
37:11What happened to him?
37:12He got smoke inhalation. He's at the hospital.
37:15Susan, are you all right? You look awful.
37:19I'm fine. I'm fine. I just feel really bad for Edie.
37:25Oh, honey, don't worry about Edie. She's a strong lady.
37:28Absolutely. She'll get through this. She'll find a way to survive.
37:32We all do.
37:34Kids. Kids, you're worried about Edie!
37:36Make sure you're good.
37:37Come on.
37:41You ready?
37:42All the other houses are going to be like a monster.
37:47Wow, what happened?
37:48Mike!
37:49And suddenly, there he was, like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
38:02I thought you were...
38:04Where were you?
38:06I just got back from the movies. Edie had a fire, huh?
38:10Yeah.
38:11Yeah.
38:12Yeah, but she's fine now.
38:15Everything's fine now.
38:17And just like that, Susan was happy.
38:20Life was suddenly full of possibilities.
38:29Not to mention a few unexpected surprises.
38:33Hello?
38:34Hey, it's me.
38:35Do you have anything yet?
38:36No.
38:37No, nothing yet.
38:38But don't worry.
38:39I'm definitely getting closer.
38:40I brought some champagne.
38:41I thought we should have a toast.
38:42The next day, my friends came together to pack away my clothes, my personal belongings, and what was left of my life.
38:51All right, ladies, lift him up. To marry Alice, a good friend and neighbor.
38:55I'm not sure.
38:56Don't worry.
38:57Don't worry.
38:58I'm definitely getting closer.
38:59I brought some champagne.
39:00I thought we should have a toast.
39:01The next day, my friends came together to pack away my clothes, my personal belongings, and what was left of my life.
39:06All right, ladies, lift him up. To marry Alice, a good friend and neighbor.
39:11Wherever you are, we hope you've found peace.
39:14To marry Alice.
39:15To marry Alice.
39:23Let's get this show on the road.
39:24You guys check out Mary Alice's clothes?
39:27Size eight?
39:28Ha!
39:29She always told me she was a size six.
39:31Guess we found the skeleton in her closet.
39:33Not quite, Gabrielle.
39:34Not quite.
39:35What's that?
39:36It's a letter addressed to Mary Alice.
39:38How ironic.
39:40To have something I tried so desperately to keep secret, treated so casually.
39:45What are you doing?
39:46That's private.
39:47It's open.
39:48What's the big deal?
39:49What does this mean?
40:00I don't know, but check out the postmark.
40:02Oh my god, she got it the day she died.
40:06Do you think this is why she...
40:08I'm so sorry, girls.
40:09I never wanted you to be burdened with this.
40:14Well, Mary Alice, what did you do?
40:17Hallelujah...
40:18What was the case, Alice?
40:19What did you do?
40:20Tell us, what did you do?
40:23What did you do?