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  • 8/12/2025

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00:00Hello?
00:29Hello.
00:33Just tell me what's happened.
00:37And what is it?
00:43I'll be right down.
00:46What's happened?
00:49Susanna.
00:51Susanna?
00:53Princess Susanna.
00:55Is she all right?
00:56Don't kill me.
00:58Don't kill me.
01:22Don't kill me.
01:26Please don't kill me.
01:28Read the statement.
01:32Yes.
01:33All right.
01:36On this screen.
01:38That is correct.
01:39I am Susanna.
01:40Duchess of Beaumont.
01:41Popularly known as Princess Susanna.
01:42I am in a place you cannot find, held by one you will not trace.
01:56Prime Minister Michael Callum.
01:57Prime Minister Michael Callum.
01:58Prime Minister Michael Callum.
01:59My life depends on you.
02:02If you do not do precisely as instructed.
02:03By 4pm this afternoon I will be...
02:04I will be...
02:05I will be...
02:06I will be...
02:07I will be...
02:08I will be...
02:09I will be...
02:10executed.
02:11I will be executed.
02:12I will be executed.
02:13I will be executed.
02:18My love depends on you.
02:22If you do not do precisely as instructed by 4 p.m. this afternoon, I will be executed.
02:43What are you doing? Keep it going.
02:44Prime Minister, at this point I think it's important to say that we are 100% certain that this is indeed Princess Susanne.
02:55Her car was intercepted shortly after midnight, returning from the wedding of a college friend of hers.
03:01She'd insisted on going.
03:03You had security on her.
03:04Two PPOs, still unconscious.
03:06Heavy sedative, close range, each with a single puncture wound.
03:10No sign of struggle.
03:12What do they want?
03:14Money.
03:17Release a jihadi.
03:19Scrap third world debt.
03:23Save the fucking libraries.
03:25We are convinced both the video and the demand it contains are genuine.
03:29What demand?
03:30What Susanna says next.
03:34It concerns you directly, sir.
03:39Just play it.
03:40There is only one demand.
03:46And it is a simple one.
03:49At 4 p.m. this afternoon, Prime Minister Michael Caddo must appear on live British television on all networks, terrestrial and satellite.
03:57And have thought on simply sexual intercourse with a pig.
04:16I don't understand.
04:18The video ends with a series of technical specifications for the broadcast.
04:24Why are you doing this?
04:39This is a joke, right?
04:46Ha ha, Mike, ho ho.
04:47It's real.
04:53She said pig.
04:55Sex with a pig.
04:59They want me to have sex with a pig.
05:01Live on television this afternoon.
05:10But what?
05:13Who?
05:14We're checking with our embedded operatives, compiling a list of suspects as we speak.
05:18Meanwhile, the demand has been made.
05:20And there's not long to formulate our response.
05:23Well, I'm not fucking a pig.
05:25Page one, that's not happening.
05:29Of course.
05:38Absolutely, sir.
05:42Have we established a dialogue with this person?
05:44We can't.
05:45There's no email address.
05:46No code word.
05:48No channel for negotiation.
05:50Okay, so we'll focus on finding Susanna.
05:52We get her back.
05:53And however it's done, I don't care.
05:55We stop this now.
05:56I assure you everyone's working towards this.
05:58Yes.
05:59No, not everyone.
06:00A dedicated core team.
06:01This can't go wide.
06:02And keep it so far from the press, it's on the other side of Jupiter.
06:06This only exists in this room.
06:10It's already outside it.
06:13Well, if there are hacks sniffing around, shut them down.
06:15Bright red D-notice.
06:17Super fucking Godzilla injunction with ten inch white all fangs.
06:21This video came from YouTube.
06:26What?
06:26It was uploaded via an encrypted IP over an hour ago.
06:29Well, get it off there!
06:30We did, after nine minutes.
06:32But that was long enough for it to be downloaded, duplicated and spread.
06:36Spread?
06:38How many people have seen this?
06:39We take down one, six clones immediately pop up elsewhere.
06:43How many people?
06:4450,000.
06:45That's our current estimate.
06:48Their newsrooms have got it.
06:50They're running this on air.
06:52No, no.
06:52We put a Type 5D notice out immediately.
06:54And they're complying.
06:55For now.
06:57It's trending on Twitter.
06:58Oh, for fucking internet.
07:00So what now?
07:06What's the playbook?
07:07This is virgin territory, Prime Minister.
07:10There's no playbook.
07:12Princess Susanna's been kidnapped.
07:18You're taking the shit out of me.
07:19And there's a YouTube of it.
07:21I'm going to work.
07:22Princess Susanna's terrestrial satellite.
07:24And have so unsecured sexual intercourse with a fake.
07:29No way.
07:30It's a piss take, man.
07:31Look at it.
07:31I don't understand.
07:33Why is it not on the news?
07:34Put down Carlton Blum's controversial agitation exhibition at the Tate Modern closes three weeks ahead of schedule amid criticism from...
07:41So how do we even describe it?
07:43An indecent act?
07:44Everyone's seen the video.
07:45They already know the full details.
07:47If we mentioned bestiality pre-watershed, Ofcom would be seriously pissed off.
07:50Fuck Ofcom.
07:51We're still observing the de-notice.
07:52We're honouring the de-notice.
07:54The voluntary de-notice.
07:56It may be a sportsman-like gesture, but we are making it.
07:59A woman's life is at stake here.
08:01We follow procedure.
08:02My timeline consists 100% of viewers asking why we're not covering it.
08:07How do I reply?
08:07You don't.
08:08Yeah, that is totally backwards.
08:10No-one else has broken rank.
08:11Not the Beeb, not Sky, not...
08:13I hear Facebook's coverage is pretty comprehensive.
08:16That may be, but...
08:17It's like 9-11's happening and we're broadcasting sandwich recipes.
08:20We're not a chat room.
08:22It's on CNN.
08:24And Fox.
08:25And MSNBC, Al Jazeera, NHK...
08:28All right!
08:31Oh, God, this planet!
08:32Okay, Sarah, cover the snatch itself.
08:37Damon, public reaction.
08:38Mira, the royal angle.
08:39Upcoming marriage, etc.
08:41Simon, set tone with standards and practices.
08:43We need to explain this without viewers sticking up their Weetabix.
08:45Lorcan, the internet aspect.
08:47New paradigm.
08:48Twitter, Arab Spring, all that bibble.
08:50Dan, all graphics run past me.
08:52Keep it functional.
08:52No Peppa Pig's.
08:54Malaika, update the Princess Obit VT.
08:56The Obit VT?
08:57First, an awkward phone call.
09:00At least I can do as warn Tom.
09:06We put a D-notice on it.
09:08Don't.
09:09I'm begging you.
09:11Don't run it, Martin.
09:12Look, I'm sorry.
09:13I can't help you.
09:15You know how much help you're getting from here on in?
09:18Multiplying nothing by shit all.
09:20UKM is dead to us.
09:21Shut it up your arse, you fucking...
09:23Interesting.
09:25A man.
09:26Man?
09:27A man.
09:28Tom.
09:29See you across it.
09:32I'm exploring contingency plans.
09:35I briefed Canet.
09:38Ah, Mr. Canet.
09:39Noel from Blue Eye.
09:42Noel won an Emmy for his effects work on that HBO moon western thing.
09:47See your tranquility.
09:48Yeah, yeah, you won't find better.
09:49Can you map a head-on to a different body alive?
09:51Defends if your camera's moving.
09:52Rule sheet specifies a single handheld camera in a constant roving motion.
09:57Yeah, Gonzo style.
10:00He knows his shit.
10:01That's tough.
10:02Ah, fruition to be transmitted in four.
10:05What does it...
10:05Just focus on the visuals, different face mapped onto a live performer, according to those stipulations.
10:12Fringes of possibility.
10:12Deadline's at four.
10:14We need to know if it's workable by two.
10:20Can't happen.
10:22It has to.
10:23Our embeds have ruled out the major players.
10:25It's not AQ, not IRA.
10:26And this is what's left.
10:27Radicals, hate groups, people who threaten yourself, or the royals.
10:33They're being pulled in, even as we speak.
10:35More than questioning, I hope.
10:37Somebody knows something.
10:38If we all do it more, then there'll be less waste overall lying around whenever the bin men...
10:47Is it still not on the telly?
10:49Nothing.
10:49It must be a hoax.
10:51Or a blackout.
10:52Oh, heads up.
10:54Some major breaking news now here on UKN.
10:57In the last few minutes, it's been confirmed that Susanna, Duchess of Beaumont, has been kidnapped.
11:03A video uploaded anonymously to the internet appears to depict the princess pleading for her life.
11:10The video also contains a bizarre ransom demand of a personal nature involving the Prime Minister.
11:16This is followed by a detailed list of instructions relating to the enactment of this demand.
11:21As police round up potential suspects across the nation, this UKN News Viewer video shows armed officers raiding an address in Bradford.
11:29A man thought to be connected with a religious pressure group can be seen being dragged to a waiting van.
11:35If it's terrorist, they'll take her head off.
11:37Fuck's sake, man.
11:39They'll be asking for a million quid or something.
11:43They want him to do it with a pig.
11:47Telegraph has the whole video and an interactive timeline.
11:50Tonalee Stark, brief mention of the ransom being a sex act, nothing too gross.
11:54Sun runs with Taken, big grab of Susanna, the Delance...
11:58Of course I still want that drink.
11:59Well, then give me something.
12:01Oh, it's not...
12:02That won't be possible.
12:04I'm friendly when I drink.
12:05Very friendly when I'm grateful.
12:08There's no comment at this time.
12:09Medical test.
12:10Medical test.
12:10The Guardian are running a fucking live blog and a short think piece on the historical symbolism of the pig.
12:27More now.
12:28The OPS deadline now only five hours away.
12:31UKN's Damon Brown analyzes the public reaction to the crisis.
12:36It's a day like no other.
12:37The kidnap video has now been watched by over 18 million people.
12:40The social networking sites are abut with an estimated 10,000 tweets per minute.
12:44So, while we wait for Downing Street to make a formal response,
12:47there's no doubt that the nation is voicing its opinion.
12:50I don't think anyone should concede to any sort of humiliation under that kind of threat.
12:54I couldn't bear to see that and watch that.
12:56I won't personally be tuning in.
12:58I mean, just thinking about it is horrible.
12:59That's disgusting.
13:00It is disgusting.
13:01If you think about it.
13:02It's going to be disgusting, but after that one, you're going to be a hero.
13:05People will look at him like he is totally insane and maybe take his position away.
13:09It would be absolutely hilarious to see that on TV.
13:12Nothing too abnormal for my ministers and MPs.
13:14They're all deviants, sexual deviants.
13:16We've been squeezing hard, but still nothing concrete.
13:24It is my house.
13:26You cannot stop.
13:27You are standing in my doorway.
13:29You are touching my door handle.
13:34Could I have a word?
13:39It won't come to that.
13:41And if they don't find her?
13:43MI5 have got a name.
13:44They're surrounding a place now.
13:45Where?
13:46What?
13:47Where's the place?
13:48Truro.
13:49Why are you lying?
13:50What?
13:50You're lying.
13:52Truro.
13:53Jesus.
13:54I don't want you worrying.
13:56You never patronize me.
13:57Don't start now.
13:58Whoever this is, is insane.
14:00And has a princess.
14:01Who'll get through this?
14:02Not just any princess.
14:03The princess.
14:04Princess bloody Facebook bloody eco-conscious national sweetheart.
14:09I won't have to do anything.
14:12Everyone's laughing at us.
14:14You don't know that.
14:15I know people.
14:16We love humiliation.
14:18We can't not laugh.
14:19Nothing is going to happen.
14:20It's already happening in their heads.
14:23In their heads.
14:24That's what you're doing.
14:25What my husband is doing.
14:28Could you...
14:29Please?
14:31Please.
14:34Jane.
14:39I love you.
14:42What?
14:43Alice on the phone, sir.
14:45Get Alex to stall them for a bit.
14:47She's already been speaking to her for ten minutes.
14:50Her?
14:51It's the Queen herself.
14:55Go on.
15:05As the 4pm deadline draws nearer and the world holds its breath, waiting to discover whether
15:10Princess...
15:10But he's a female pig.
15:12It's on the list.
15:14The list of rules at the end of the video.
15:15Specifies camera angles and things.
15:16Like Dogma 95.
15:18It's not like Dogma 95.
15:19Exactly.
15:19What's Dogma 95?
15:22Cinematic movement.
15:23Lars von Trier.
15:24Oh.
15:25Left the rules for the director.
15:26No background music, only natural light and so on.
15:29For authenticity.
15:31Same as these rules.
15:32So they can't cheat it.
15:33Intercutting other guys' arse, pumping away.
15:35I mean, I can't think of anything remotely like this.
15:38It's an entirely new form of terrorism.
15:40The point of which...
15:41It's terrorism.
15:41It's not Islamist in nature.
15:43To request a pig is specifically...
15:44That's exactly the point.
15:46To make love to a pig.
15:47Make love?
15:48Steer them away from the grisly details.
15:51We can't discalse anything.
15:53Let's not dwell on any of the details.
15:55This is already a huge national talking point.
15:58Isn't this precisely what whoever is behind this is looking for?
16:02How's Her Majesty taking it?
16:04I trust you'll do everything in your power to get her back.
16:08That's what she said.
16:09And we are.
16:10It wasn't a collective you.
16:11It was a singular you.
16:12I.e. me.
16:13Sir, we may have something.
16:15Jamie's been tracing the video's origin.
16:17I thought it was untraceable.
16:18Technically, yes.
16:20But, so I thought, work with what we do know.
16:22And that video?
16:22Okay.
16:23Before YouTube compression, it was 57.3 meg.
16:27Algorithm.
16:28Boring.
16:28Anyway, we also know it was uploaded at 3.16am.
16:32So I ran a nationwide traceback on uninterrupted one-way uploads of precisely 57.3 meg in the minutes leading up to 3.16.
16:38And the closest I can get is a postcode, but it came from somewhere in there.
16:45Looks like a campus.
16:46Yeah.
16:47Closed 2010, and it's been empty since.
16:50Latest eyesight image on this area?
16:523.00am flyover shot from last night.
16:56Looks like it had lights on.
16:59We got him.
17:02We got him.
17:03Alert the local team.
17:04We'll head out now.
17:04Full squad.
17:05Our man it.
17:06With helmet cam relay.
17:07Hey, we can watch the operation.
17:10Press office.
17:10Okay, Tom?
17:19Right.
17:19Confident?
17:21It's a bit of a kick-bollock scramble, but with finesse in it should be okay.
17:24Well, finesse quickly.
17:25Our performer's on his way.
17:33A new one for me, obviously.
17:34Is this elite?
17:35I wouldn't normally.
17:36Yeah.
17:38You seen any of my films?
17:39No.
17:39Well, I'm pretty tread.
17:40Bish, bash, bosh.
17:41In and out.
17:43Yeah, well, what do I put on the invoice?
17:45That's what I'm wondering.
17:46There won't be any invoicing.
17:48Oi, oi, rod.
17:48Oi, oi.
17:49Seven oi.
17:50All right.
17:52Need to prep two statements on the rescue operation.
17:55Good outcome, bad outcome.
17:56Rescue operation?
17:58Goon squad's heading for some postcode in Buckinghamshire.
18:00HP8-4-TD.
18:02It's a college or something.
18:03They should be there by now.
18:04Good morning.
18:05It was the mayor's turn to be seen.
18:10She's got to see it.
18:11A victim of the phone has been sent to the circuit.
18:23Assembly members wanted to know why the mayor didn't order police to investigate you.
18:27Yeah, I'm going to choose the eliminates of the Chroma King.
18:30It's a college man.
18:30Eton Callard.
18:31This is Mr. Flynn.
18:32A.K.A. Rod Senseless.
18:35Stage mate.
18:38Yeah, well.
18:40You need to get into this.
18:42Is there a dressing room up in use?
18:44No.
18:45Where's my co-star?
18:47It'd be rude not to give her a bit of a kiss before, eh?
18:49Outside.
18:50In the truck.
18:52Boulevard de vivre, ain't it?
18:57You also need to wear this on your head.
19:08Board's been prized away.
19:09That's where they got him.
19:10Okay.
19:12Target identified.
19:13Commissioner, thank you.
19:14Assault team red.
19:15Spot a possible entry point.
19:17Any orders, boss?
19:17Continue reconnaissance and await instructions before you proceed.
19:21With the 4pm deadline only three hours away, time is running out for the Prime Minister.
19:24It's gone to the other one.
19:26Of course.
19:30Simon and Simon have been in the same place.
19:32These figures be nothing scourged.
19:34They're gunning you.
19:35Do you think I'd be here if they had?
19:39We've got statements for either outcome.
19:44Listen, coverage is very sympathetic.
19:46Can't think about coverage now.
19:47Of course.
19:47But it's on side.
19:56Strong undercurrent of sympathy.
19:58Every poll indicates public understanding.
20:00Disgust with the captor.
20:01Outraged at the whole thing, but not at you.
20:07The fact is, if Walker's team fuck up, I'm not saying they will, but if they do,
20:10the public anticipates non-compliance.
20:15There'll be scores from the usuals, but it's not England expect.
20:27If he kills her, there's no blood on your hands.
20:31Bottom line.
20:32With just hours to go before the deadline, time is running out for the security services.
20:41Well, joining us is actress Lydia Balway, who attended...
20:43I thought this story was coming from OB7.
20:45It is, but we trimmed the edit, so it's coming direct.
20:49Where do I know Twinkle Tits from?
20:51Uh, actress, Downton Abbey knows the princess.
20:55This came for you, left the reception.
20:56Thanks, Jack.
20:57Corium dropped it off.
20:58Um, so you've got, um, 20 seconds on the end.
21:02Thanks.
21:03I'm going to plug this in.
21:05No, I say there's nothing.
21:07Thank you, I'll be back.
21:08Oh, no, bro!
21:09Jesus, Jesus.
21:12Jack, call the police.
21:14What, me?
21:14Just take it.
21:15Get someone to shoot that first.
21:17What the fuck is this?
21:20I gave you Ross, I said no cheat.
21:22Some more breaking news now, and a severed finger, thought to belong to Princess Susanna,
21:38has been delivered to UKN, along with a video apparently showing the kidnapper removing it
21:44from the princess.
21:46UKN News has passed all material to Scotland Yard.
21:49Fucking hell.
21:50They are believed to be subjected to...
21:51Oh, God, I can't watch this.
21:53He's got to do what they want.
21:55What's he fucking ask?
21:56... accompanied by a memory stick, which contained a statement...
21:59...accusing Downing Street of attempting to break rules laid down in the demands.
22:03Well, this grim development comes just hours before the 4pm deadline out...
22:07Jesus.
22:11...unless I'm mistaken, our mystery man specified no visual trickery in his original demand,
22:22didn't he?
22:24I considered it nes...
22:25Considered it necessary.
22:27...to devise...
22:28Fucking hell!
22:32Mike!
22:35Mike!
22:36Don't.
22:37It's no...
22:37One word, and I swear I will...
22:39Fucking...
22:41What did you do, Alex?
22:54I had a backup plan.
22:57A man prepared to do it, and an FX company that would paint your head onto his shoulders.
23:01And you actually thought that would work?
23:03I believed it worth considering.
23:04Well, then you're a stupid bitch.
23:06With your interests at heart.
23:08Who knew about this?
23:10A select few.
23:11They seem some idiot at the studios, recognised our designated performer.
23:16Tweeted a photo, and the online hive mind did the maths.
23:19It's not playing well.
23:20It's not playing well.
23:21With him.
23:24With sir.
23:26With anyone.
23:27A few hours ago, public opinion was behind Prime Minister Callow, with only 28% of the
23:32public believing he should fulfil the bizarre and illegal request.
23:35But in the wake of these images, and with the delivery of the princess's severed finger
23:40to UKN, the mood is shifting.
23:43It would be humiliating, but nothing compared to her suffering.
23:46The appearance of the finger, he's just got to do it.
23:48He has to do it.
23:49What's the alternative?
23:50We can easily get another Prime Minister, but we can't live without a princess.
23:54Of course we should do it.
23:55Well, if he doesn't get a release, you know, he's finished, isn't he?
23:58Online polls suggest that 86% of voters now believe the demand should be met.
24:04Damon Brown, UK.
24:09I want to walk his team here from the college.
24:11They need time to establish...
24:12It's almost half two, and I'm not pissing around.
24:14Julian's advising against...
24:15And I'm advising four.
24:16They go in now.
24:17They go in now.
24:18They go in now.
24:28Where's my O-Bit, VT?
24:37What would you say if I told you I was standing near the building where Susanna's being held?
24:41I'd say bullshit.
24:43Then you'd be wrong.
24:46Have you got a crew with you?
24:47No, I'm not stupid.
24:49Malaika?
24:51Hello?
24:52Hello?
24:58Are you getting this?
25:08Yeah, we are.
25:09But stay back.
25:09Don't put yourself in any danger.
25:10No, no.
25:17Still getting this?
25:18Yeah, yeah, yeah, we are.
25:19Just stay safe, Malaika.
25:20Be careful.
25:28If this doesn't work, we need to.
25:56Don't.
25:58It's a decoy.
26:26They must have bounced the upload from here with a prop.
26:28Toxie.
26:28They could be anywhere.
26:30I'm sorry.
26:31Jesus.
26:32They're looking right at him.
26:33They can't see her.
26:34There's a screen here.
26:35Malaika, make sure they can't.
26:36Take it.
26:36Run, Malaika.
26:38Run.
26:41Run, Malaika.
26:42Run.
26:43Run, police.
26:44Grab your hands.
26:45Get out of there.
26:47Come on.
26:48Take my arm.
26:49Police.
26:50Take my arm.
26:51Take my arm.
26:51Take my arm.
26:53Take my arm.
26:53Take my arm.
26:54Take my arm.
26:54Take my arm.
26:54Take my arm.
26:54Take my arm.
26:56Take my arm.
26:56Take my arm.
26:57Is it him?
27:00Have they got him?
27:00Jack!
27:01Jesus.
27:01Where the fuck is Jack?
27:03Run, run, run.
27:04Run, run.
27:05Run, stop me, run.
27:06Get out of there.
27:07Get out of there.
27:08Get out of there.
27:08Get out of there.
27:09Get out of there.
27:10Repeat.
27:11Let go.
27:11UKN.
27:14Malaika.
27:15Malaika.
27:15Something or other.
27:16She's from UKN.
27:17Impressed.
27:18Yes.
27:20Here goes your RTS award.
27:23There must be something.
27:24There's nothing there, Michael.
27:25There'll be a clue.
27:26Some evidence.
27:26We've done all we can.
27:27You sent in a strike team to rescue a mannequin.
27:29I'm sorry, Michael.
27:30Oh, fuck off, Julian.
27:31Michael, it's twenty past three.
27:32We're out of time.
27:33We're not out of time.
27:35We're not out of time.
27:36It's not going to happen.
27:54To the public.
27:55Fuck the public.
27:55To the public, this would be one man of, to be blunt, questionable popularity, putting
28:00personal embarrassment over the life of a young girl.
28:02You won't even release her anyway.
28:03She's probably already dead.
28:04And if she isn't, he'll kill her and upload the video.
28:08Everyone will see it.
28:09The world will see it.
28:12The mood will border on insurrection.
28:14And you will be destroyed, I guarantee you.
28:17Utterly destroyed.
28:21The polling bears that out.
28:23You won't just be a disgraced politician.
28:27You'll be a despised individual.
28:30The public, the palace, and the party.
28:34Insist on compliance.
28:35Fuck the party.
28:36Refuse.
28:37And I've been advised that we cannot guarantee your physical safety.
28:43Or that of your family.
28:44I've made arrangements for the broadcast.
29:02I can't.
29:02I'm sorry, Michael.
29:03It's out of your hands.
29:04Let's take you live now to the scene in central London.
29:15As we see the Prime Minister's car travelling across London.
29:19He's got a deal.
29:20The world's bloody broken.
29:23And now appears to be heading west to Bankside Studios.
29:26He's got a deal.
29:27He's got a deal.
29:28He's got a deal.
29:29He's got a deal.
29:29He's got a deal.
29:30He's got a deal.
29:31He's got a deal.
29:32He's got a deal.
29:33He's got a deal.
29:34He's got a deal.
29:35He's got a deal.
29:36He's got a deal.
29:37He's got a deal.
29:38He's got a deal.
29:39He's got a deal.
29:40He's got a deal.
29:41He's got a deal.
29:42He's got a deal.
29:43He's got a deal.
29:44He's got a deal.
29:45He's got a deal.
29:46He's got a deal.
29:47He's got a deal.
29:48He's got a deal.
29:49He's got a deal.
29:50He's got a deal.
29:51He's got a deal.
29:52we've ratified the law after midnight it'll be a criminal offense to store any recording
30:03or still images of the event
30:04they're doing an announcement beforehand to all people have been watching
30:12some sort of sonic tone that causes nausea
30:16of course this comes at a time when present the king has very much pardoned
30:21following the delivery of the princesses and father to finger
30:23at the 4pm deadline approaches the whole nation is as a standstill watching this extraordinary
30:29situation play out and just to remind you this is now a story of global significance
30:35michael curlow has displayed incredible bravery in what was literally a matter of life or death
30:41it's how it opens and then i think we should move on okay yeah
30:46everything prepared yes ma'am it's sedated injection stay silent
30:53it's time to go in now
31:03an unprecedented nature
31:11this is an official announcement in a few minutes the prime minister will perform an indecent act on
31:17your screen this is an accordance with the kidnappers demand in the hope that it will ensure the safe
31:23release of princess susanna recording or possessing a copy of this broadcast will become illegal at
31:29midnight all viewers are advised to turn off their televisions immediately the broadcast will commence after the following tone
31:36you
31:43you
31:47you
31:51you
31:53you
31:55you
31:57We're complying with all the stipulated rules, so you'll have to keep going.
32:15You'll have to see it through to the end.
32:22We've placed visual aids in your eyeline, which might help if you get into trouble.
32:27The suggestion we're getting from psychologists is that you should take as long as you need.
32:35To rush might be misinterpreted as egoless or even enjoyment.
32:57It's just a skeleton crew inside.
33:00Close set.
33:01Let's go.
33:03Let's go.
33:05Let's go.
33:07Let's go.
33:09Let's go.
33:15Oh.
33:25I trust this will bring about
33:52the safe return of Princess Susanna.
34:12I love my wife.
34:17May God forgive me.
34:21May God forgive me.
34:28May God forgive me.
34:34May God forgive me.
34:42May God forgive me.
34:49May God forgive me.
34:56May God forgive me.
36:13Jesus.
36:15Poor bastard.
36:18But it's been on for nearly an hour.
36:20It's history, this.
36:21Father.
36:23Bye.
36:28Bye.
36:28Bye.
36:29Bye.
36:30Bye.
36:30Bye.
36:31Bye.
36:32Bye.
36:34Oh, my God.
37:04She's back, ma'am. We've got her. Susanna.
37:22They released her?
37:23Stumbling about in the middle of the city. Sedated.
37:26She can't remember anything, but she's unharmed.
37:29But her finger?
37:30Not hers. DNA shows it's male.
37:32What?
37:32There is one other thing, ma'am.
37:34There's a CCTV grabber from half three.
37:38It seems he let her go 30 minutes before it happened.
37:43Why?
37:44My guess. He knew everyone would be elsewhere, watching screens.
37:51So it's a statement.
37:53Ma'am?
37:54That's what this is all about.
37:55That making a point.
37:57Should we, uh...
37:59Lose that page of the report?
38:01No one sees it.
38:02Especially the PM.
38:04Of course.
38:14Good news, Michael.
38:16You saved her.
38:18Susanna's alive and well.
38:19Come on.
38:38Come on.
38:39Oh, my God.
39:09On the one-year anniversary of his humiliating ordeal,
39:12an apparently unconcerned Michael Callow
39:14put in an assured performance at a public appearance today
39:17accompanied by his wife, Jane.
39:19Here I go.
39:20OK.
39:22Oh!
39:24The other central figure in last year's events
39:27was also before the camera
39:28at last night's Children of Valor Awards.
39:31Princess Susanna made her first public appearance
39:33since announcing her pregnancy.
39:36It was one year ago today
39:38that the former Turner Prize-winning artist, Carlton Bloom,
39:41coerced the Prime Minister
39:42into committing an indecent act with the audacious kidnap.
39:47As the anniversary arrived,
39:49one art critic has caused controversy
39:50by describing it as the first great artwork of the 21st century.
39:55But while cultural commentators debate its significance,
39:57there's no denying that with a global audience of 1.3 billion,
40:01it was an event in which we all participated.
40:03However, the incident failed to destroy a Prime Minister
40:06who currently holds an approval rating
40:08three points higher than this time last year.
40:11Damon Brown, UKN.
40:17Jane.
40:19Jane, please.