Letterkenny Season 8 by JAG

JAG

5 months ago

Letterkenny Season 8 Episode 7 Day Beers Day

Letterkenny Season 8

22:58

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Transcript

00:00Well, you've seen some pretty outrageous things in your life, but nothing more outrageous than what you've seen the other day.

00:13Favorite superhero, go.

00:15Hmm, Superman.

00:16Wonder Woman.

00:17Batman.

00:18Deadpool.

00:19Why Batman?

00:20It's quiet.

00:21Ah, mysterious.

00:22No mystique, big mistake.

00:26Tell them that.

00:28Nah, nah.

00:31Pete and Ray Pete, W5.

00:34Just finish the little run-ski.

00:36Little jog-ski.

00:37Little sprin-ski.

00:38Little trot-ski.

00:39Get film?

00:40You don't want to see this?

00:42I smell body spray, so I know it can't be good.

00:45Alexander?

00:46Confucius A, a man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

00:51What do you think about these two?

00:53They're not gonna get any chicks dressing like gays.

00:56What if they are gay?

00:58Then they're definitely not gonna get any chicks now.

01:00Your junk looks like it wants to shake my hand.

01:02You stuff a winter glove down there?

01:05Looks like a ziplock baggie full of carrot sticks to me.

01:09Small price to pay for the scientific competitive edge boys.

01:13Compression tights.

01:15We're over here decreasing wind resistance by 2%.

01:19You're sitting over there like suckers.

01:21You're decreasing your manhood by a significantly larger percentage.

01:25A significantly larger percentage, yeah.

01:27Alright, let me get to the bottom of this. Holy fuck.

01:30Give me one good reason why you want to go running in tights with your junk bouncing about.

01:35Give me one good reason why we shouldn't.

01:37You want two?

01:38Even better.

01:39Women and children.

01:41Tights are for girls.

01:43Compression tights.

01:45They hold your muscles firmly in place while improving blood flow to the muscles.

01:51So, Lululemon comes along, revolutionizes the female ass game.

01:56Dudes love it because they secretly want to wear it?

02:00These are nothing like Lululemon.

02:02They're exactly like Lululemon.

02:04Okay, yep, they're not Lululemon.

02:06It looks like a duck and quacks like a duck.

02:08They're not!

02:09What if they are?

02:10Then they're definitely not going to get any chicks now.

02:13They're for increased athletic performance, boys.

02:16Well, we can see your junk, boys.

02:18Well, that's actually not from the tights.

02:20We're also wearing this new kind of underwear called bags.

02:23Here you come and land, see an air.

02:25Army Navy Air Force, baby.

02:27Separate your dink from your balls.

02:29And your balls from your leg.

02:30To avoid chafing.

02:31Dudes chafe?

02:33No.

02:34Try running compression tights, bud.

02:36No.

02:37How do they separate your balls from your leg?

02:40Put on your gitch, right?

02:41It's like any other day.

02:42Nothing out of the ordinary.

02:44But with bags, when you pull them up,

02:46drop your balls into a hammock-like pouch.

02:48Yeah, you just set them in there like...

02:51Yeah, you just drop your balls in a little pouch like there.

02:54Yeah, you just station them in there like...

02:56But that makes your junk stick out even more.

02:59You tell me, Katie Cat.

03:01Alright, so you want to go out running,

03:03you throw on some tights.

03:04Compression tights.

03:05Compression tights.

03:06Junk's out there, women and children.

03:09Increased athletic performance.

03:10And then you put on some special underwear with a pouch for your balls.

03:15Just set them in there.

03:17Yeah, you just drop your balls in a little pouch like there.

03:20That make your junk stick out more.

03:22Yeah, that's it boys.

03:24That's the digger.

03:26You're early.

03:27If you're not ten minutes early, you're late.

03:28Very cool, very cool right now.

03:41Fuck you.

03:42Pardon?

03:43Not you.

03:44Guy behind you just...

03:45Farmer spit on the carpet.

03:46Unusual business, as usual.

03:47Here, taking your little cousin to Quebec for his 18th birthday.

03:48That okay?

03:49Just making conversation.

03:50Why Quebec?

03:51Why Quebec?

03:52Well, he's turning 18.

03:53Legal trading age in Quebec is 18, so...

03:54Do the...

03:55Man.

03:56Fuck off!

03:57I don't know.

03:58I don't know.

03:59I don't know.

04:00I don't know.

04:01I don't know.

04:02I don't know.

04:03I don't know.

04:04Don't know.

04:05I'm not sure.

04:06He is a girl.

04:07to be a cousin to Quebec for his 18th birthday.

04:08That okay?

04:09Just making conversation.

04:11Why Quebec?

04:12Well...

04:13He's turning 18.

04:15Legal trading age in Quebec is 18, so...

04:18Do...

04:19The...

04:20Man.

04:21Fuck off!

04:22What's that?

04:23Nah, you.

04:24Girl behind you, just crop-dusted.

04:27Very gnarly.

04:28Very gnarly.

04:29Very...

04:30Unnecessary.

04:31Very gnarly, very unnecessary.

04:34Unusual business as usual.

04:37Anything else calling your name in Quebec?

04:40Poutine.

04:41Smoked meat.

04:44Nope.

04:44For strippers in Canada.

04:46Okay, is that to me or someone behind me?

04:49Cousin?

04:49Cousin.

04:51Dirks?

04:53How are you now?

04:55Good, and you?

05:01I am fuckin' dyin' for a piece of you.

05:06Oh, I've been down.

05:08I am just dyin' to get ya.

05:14Katie.

05:15It only starts in five big shoots.

05:19Pitter-patter.

05:20Everybody in your town likes me except for your cute butt.

05:32Chew on that, zoo.

05:36I don't like that dude.

05:38I don't like that dude.

05:41I don't like that dude.

05:43Well, ain't no reason to get excited.

05:47I know you're just doing that to bug me.

05:58What's that?

06:00Stop doing that.

06:02Stop doing what?

06:03You didn't even read that page.

06:06Which page?

06:08Stop that.

06:09Sorry?

06:09You're missing your book.

06:11I read this book several times, so...

06:14Not missing much.

06:15Must be a pretty good book.

06:18Oh, it's a great book.

06:19It's...

06:20The Black Donnellys.

06:28I like how those pants fit.

06:30It's a good pant.

06:32Good pants?

06:33Why is it more than one pant?

06:35It's a pair of pants.

06:36Oh, the gal at the store called it a pant?

06:38Well, that's a girl who should know they're called pants.

06:41One time she called it a jean.

06:43Bet she liked how that jean fit, too.

06:45Okay, you thought she was lesbian, actually.

06:56She's still trying to get in your pant?

06:59Okay, maybe it is pants.

07:04Tough go, eh?

07:05Yeah.

07:06Getting any easier?

07:10Yeah.

07:11We going?

07:16Well, I got children to do first, so...

07:19Well, I got two strong hands.

07:21I can help.

07:22Well, more hands makes less work.

07:24Prove it.

07:25What?

07:26So after that, we go over there together?

07:29Don't threaten me with a good time.

07:31Say, what would you say if, like, well, we started going, like, to most places together?

07:42I'd say...

07:43Pitter-patter.

07:45Good enough.

07:46But let's get at her.

07:47Big day in Ladder County.

07:49Yep.

07:51It's...

07:51Daybears Day.

07:52Daybears!

07:53Daybears!

07:54Daybears!

07:55Daybears!

07:56Daybears!

07:56Nosebears!

07:57Daybears!

07:58Happy Daybears Day, too.

08:00My mom's...

08:01I think you had more like a fish bowl of gin there, Ms. Mag.

08:07More like a salad bowl of gins.

08:09More like a waste paper back set full of gin.

08:12Attaboy.

08:13Maybe one of these days we'll just fill up the bath tub of the gin, baby.

08:16Just give a moment.

08:18Oh, but he's hammered.

08:19Knows what that means.

08:21I'm out.

08:21Where he's goings?

08:22Dirk took his cousin to Quebec for his 18th birthday,

08:25and they just got back,

08:27so I'm headed stateside to help them with their hangovers.

08:30That's something that girlfriends do, right?

08:32I really wouldn't know.

08:34Caesars?

08:35You bet.

08:37Why Quebec?

08:38Best rippers on Earth in Quebec.

08:41The legal drinking age is 18.

08:43Plus, you can touch him.

08:45Touch what?

08:46The chance.

08:48Look, I suck on him.

08:48Nine and ten teddy bears, too.

08:52Okay, I'll bite.

08:54Have you ever done that?

08:55We ever done.

09:03Okay, boys.

09:05Picture this.

09:07I want you to picture this.

09:08Mrs. McMurray and I are getting a couple slapper.

09:12So I got both hands on one tit,

09:16and I'm sucking on it.

09:18I want you to picture this.

09:19And I says, this is something.

09:21I said, baby, what do you think of this?

09:22I said, I've never seen anything like it, baby.

09:25And before I know it, she's got two hands on the other tit.

09:29And she's a-sucking on it.

09:31I said, what do you think of this, baby?

09:32Something I'm going to soon forget.

09:34Yeah, that's my cue.

09:35Okay, alert.

09:39Picture of me, Cedar.

09:40Drive safe, Smiths, Katie's.

09:44Where's she going?

09:46Why?

09:47Aren't you lovely?

09:48Oh, I was going to take a run at her.

09:50I was going to take a big run at her.

09:52You's twos are the worst.

09:54I was going to gun it, buddy.

09:56You guys just got to gun it, boys.

09:57Fucking gun it, buddy.

09:58Gun it straight across the room.

10:00Ah, you guys are out of luck.

10:02Katie's got a new dude.

10:03Huh?

10:04Who?

10:04A fella named Dierks from Mashigans.

10:07A yank?

10:08Fucking hate yanks.

10:10Oh, Bonnie McMurray.

10:14Years?

10:15Dead years.

10:18Take a run at her, boys.

10:20Take a big run at her.

10:22You're so beneath her at this point, peasants.

10:25I would love to be.

10:26Huh?

10:27Gun it.

10:28And Katie wouldn't even fuck you with my dick.

10:31I wouldn't want her to anyway.

10:32Well, I didn't know knock until you tried it.

10:34I never do.

10:41Do you guys hear Katie's dating a yank?

10:58You're going to move your bum?

11:06Move your bum.

11:12You don't want me to go?

11:14Oh, boy.

11:16Okay.

11:19Okay.

11:22All right.

11:23Go on, get so I can get it.

11:28Get.

11:35Debears.

11:36Debears.

11:37Debears.

11:37No spears.

11:38Steer.

11:39What do you got against yanks, Riley?

11:44I fucking hate yanks.

11:46Yeah, we've established that.

11:48Yank teams would come up from Michigan, Ohio, and play in our tournaments growing up, and

11:52they were stacked.

11:53Shit kicked us.

11:54You guys are usually losing, though, no?

11:56This is different, though.

11:57A team from Detroit would have a D-man from New York, a Tandy from Boston, and a sniper

12:03from Minnesota.

12:04They'd all fly in thrice a week for practice, and then they'd come up and shit kick us.

12:10Religious fellas?

12:11Why?

12:12Well, sounds like they've got some monies.

12:14It wasn't fair.

12:15They're best players in the country versus the best players in our county.

12:19I also hate yanks.

12:22Why do you hate yanks?

12:23Yanks were the first to steal and catalog your online data.

12:38Every website you've ever been to, every subject you've ever searched, every porno you've ever

12:45watched, every text you've ever sent.

12:47Yanks know it and have it, and one day we'll leak it.

12:52Hence our venture into the...

12:54Where'd you read that?

12:55Well, I read it at www.there'sawebsite.com.

12:59www.pullyourfingeryoutofyourass.ca

13:03www.afteri.org.

13:06www.heresthething.edu are spare parts, bud.

13:12Did you guys know that yank is kind of not PC now?

13:17Mm, it's true.

13:18A player in the Ontario Hockey League got suspended for calling a European player a Euro.

13:24Yous can get suspended for calls on the guys from Europe to Europe.

13:28Happened a couple times.

13:29What yank came up with that fucking rule?

13:32I got nothing against yanks.

13:34Canada was in trouble, they'd be the first ones to come up and help us get sorted.

13:38Good neighbors.

13:39Good film.

13:39Don't like dirks, though.

13:41Pourquoi?

13:42That lane doesn't.

13:43I'm with yous.

13:44Don't be a fence setter.

13:46You gotta come out for it one way or another.

13:47Yeah, that yank better behave himself, because Katie's in trouble.

13:51I'll fucking speed bag him, boys.

13:53I'd go to the wall for that girl.

13:55I'd go through the wall for that girl.

13:57Bullsand.

13:58Yeah, that small town's in the snow globes for yous.

14:01Boy, howdy.

14:03Yeah.

14:04We might bickers with each other's on the inside, but if someone from the outside comes a-knockin'.

14:09Tu répondais pas à ton téléphone, so...

14:19Oh, you didn't have to drive all the way here to tell me that.

14:27But I did.

14:28Yeah, well...

14:29Get out on the wall.

14:34It's not the only reason I'm here.

14:36Oh, why?

14:37Is Katie here?

14:38No.

14:39Still with the O'Long Dick Dirks.

14:41My cousin's had his bachelor party a couple of days ago.

14:48It was in a strip club in Montreal, and I went with the boys.

14:51Got it.

14:53There was a yank buying everybody drinks, and our table eventually joined his table, and

15:00all his friends were saying how hot his girlfriend was, and one of them pulled up a picture on

15:06his phone.

15:08It was Katie.

15:09Well, ain't no reason to get excited.

15:11He came in with a bunch of girls.

15:14And left with a bunch of girls.

15:18You doing anything you shouldn't be?

15:20It's been a tough go, eh?

15:30Yep.

15:32Getting any easier?

15:37Yep.

15:44Hearing you fellas talk about yanks reminds me of my last boys' trip down McMyrtle Beach.

15:49I ever tell you about a little girl stripped down by an Riviera?

15:54Next year, you're gonna be down McMowie.

15:55Next year, she's down McMontigo Beach.

15:58Rooftop poolside villas.

16:00Well, between us girls.

16:02Between us girls.

16:03I pedal up to the swim-up bar, and there's an ethnic fella looking so comely.

16:08Pool is jam-packed with ethnicities.

16:11This young fella sees me looking at him, and he sees me across the bar, and he can tell

16:17I'm looking for one right in the top.

16:19Three guarantees in life, fellas.

16:21Death.

16:22Taxes.

16:23And this gal want one right in the twat.

16:27Next thing I know, he's paddling around the swim-up bar.

16:31What do you think I'd do?

16:32So I paddle on over to meet her halfway.

16:34I said, young man, you like the ass, the tits, or the cunts.

16:37This gal knows a cunt, man, when she sees one.

16:39And that's the right answer.

16:41So she reaches under the water and starts giving me an over-the-pants handy.

16:50Well, a station in some circles, but this fella's here for it.

16:53So we head on over to the poolside, fella.

16:55Close the curtains.

16:57And I says to her, how about I stuff it right in your snacker?

17:01Then one in the snapper.

17:03So we start going back and forth.

17:05I'm in her.

17:06Snap.

17:07Then he's in my.

17:08Snacker.

17:09Snapper.

17:10Snacker.

17:10Snapper.

17:11Snacker.

17:12We're both making a mess.

17:15We made one hell of a mess in there.

17:17I hope they have a pressure washer.

17:19That's all I know.

17:19They must have had a pressure washer or something.

17:21Mm-hmm.

17:23Mm-hmm.

17:26Does Mrs. McMurray know about this?

17:29Of course.

17:29Well, secrets between spouses.

17:32Mm-hmm.

17:35You know what he does sometimes?

17:37This is the cutest little thing.

17:39I'll go outside the bathroom door when she's on the shitter.

17:42And I'll hear something outside.

17:45Sounds like a little golf clap.

17:47But it's me standing out there in the buck, naked,

17:51shaking my hips back and forth like so.

17:55So is Dink's max office thighs.

17:57Mm-hmm.

17:59Mm.

17:59Mm-hmm.

18:02So it's just like a little golf clap.

18:05Mm-hmm.

18:06Mm-hmm.

18:07Mm-hmm.

18:08Mm-hmm.

18:09Are we dancing now?

18:11Yes!

18:11That is what we are doing.

18:13Mm-hmm.

18:14Alexander, turn up the outside speakers!

18:16Mm-hmm.

18:17Mm-hmm.

18:17Do it.

18:19Try it.

18:22Do it.

18:24Try it.

18:27Do it.

18:29Try it.

18:31Do it.

18:37You said there's a sound of a new tomorrow.

18:42Oh.

18:43Take over my dreams.

18:50Walk into the wind.

18:51Walk into the wind.

18:52Yeah.

18:53Yeah.

19:13You said there's a sound of a new one.

19:16The heart of me

19:19Do it

19:28Try it

19:30Do it

19:33Try it

19:35Listen to yourself

19:44That could show

19:47Under the night

19:49Moving back to the temple

19:54On my own soul

19:57Do it

20:05Do it

20:06Do it

20:07Do it

20:08Do it

20:10Try it

20:11For your heart

20:14I'm dead

20:16Don't bring me

20:19I'm trapped

20:21For your heart

20:23Do it

20:24Do it

20:25Do it

20:26Dead

20:28Do it

20:29Do it

20:30Do it

20:32Do it

20:34Do it

Letterkenny Season 8 Episode 7 Day Beers Day

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