The 5 Minute Drive-In by Tim Ackelmire - Dailymotion

Tim Ackelmire

I won an editing contest many moons ago doing these edits, and it got a lot of views so I thought I'd do a playlist of them.  Hopefully they are funny sometimes.  Youtube - https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkxY-xQJazrnSZQqRbkFkxP3ldWLmbllc&si=HE77EIthpM-7e3I9

Transcript

00:00Will Joe me not be able to see worth a hoot in hell?

00:04I can hear an antus on a sponge.

00:07You bring old Joe his slippers.

00:12God bless that dog, and that dog will be the death of me.

00:19Come on out!

00:24There's a big murder case up in Chestnut Hill.

00:27Three murders within a week.

00:28Run with it.

00:30That story's three weeks old.

00:36Now, it's fine with me if you want to poison your own children.

00:39But in the future, will you do me a favor?

00:41Stay away from mine.

00:43What are you doing?

00:43Some crazy lady from the college.

00:45She thinks it's some kind of a snake that's doing the murder.

00:48Did you say snake?

00:49I told you.

00:50Now, that lady, she come in here and said to me

00:53that them hoes was probably made by some kind of a giant snake.

00:57Hi, hon.

01:01Roy!

01:02I finished your work at the office.

01:03Great.

01:04It's in the closet!

01:11This guy's dead as a doornail.

01:13Do I look like a complete imbecile?

01:15I was only trying to tell him that the marks found on the bodies

01:17had the same characteristics as a snake bite.

01:19Odd, isn't it?

01:21It seems to be some sort of animal claw.

01:23If you don't clean your plate, no cucumber pudding.

01:26Slimy green substance.

01:28Squirt it out right into my face.

01:29So, this is the famous ultrasonic energy augmenter, huh?

01:37Hey, hold your fire.

01:42Lick or treat's over.

01:43Who does?

01:44National emergency.

01:57We think that there's a pattern to its movements.

02:00I told you I'd talk to him one way or another.

02:15Shit.

02:16Bust my ass trying to save some lives around here.

02:18The monster should show up here just about now.

02:20That's the goddamn grammar school.

02:22The monster should show up here, baby.

02:39Wait, somebody help out!

02:40No!

02:41No!

02:42No!

02:43No!

02:44No!

02:45No!

02:46No!

02:47No!

02:48No!

02:49No!

02:50No!

02:51No!

02:52No!

02:53No!

02:54No!

02:55No!

02:56No!

02:57No!

03:02Where can this bastard back where he came from?

03:05No!

03:06No!

03:07No!

03:08No!

03:09No!

03:10No!

03:11No!

03:12No!

03:13No!

03:14No!

03:15No!

03:16No!

03:17No!

03:18No!

03:19No!

03:20No!

03:21evacuating if you and this bitch think you're gonna god moves in mysterious infinite wisdom

03:28the only way to stop the monster we must destroy all its energy

03:44kick harder

03:51now

04:00i could stop it with the inner jog meter it's a toy you won't do anything

04:17the creature continues its relentless march south destroy all closets every closet in the world

04:31the creature is dying

04:45i was so worried we were all praying that there was a closet he couldn't fit both of us in it was

04:52beauty killed the boys that's enough already mr bernstein call me chief go back and rebuild your

05:00closets

05:07hi

05:14so

05:28okay boys

05:44Damn, right?

05:53Hi, hon.

06:14Scoop, that's the best thing you've ever done.

06:19You're gonna win another Pulitzer.

06:21Oh, that's sweet, Maggie.

06:23Am I gonna see you tonight?

06:25Call me later.

06:26It's not the big story in a Scoop that keep a big city newspaper alive.

Monster in the Closet (1986 Movie) - In 5 Minutes

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The 5 Minute Drive-In

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