The 5 Minute Drive-In by Tim Ackelmire - Dailymotion

Tim Ackelmire

I won an editing contest many moons ago doing these edits, and it got a lot of views so I thought I'd do a playlist of them.  Hopefully they are funny sometimes.  Youtube - https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkxY-xQJazrnSZQqRbkFkxP3ldWLmbllc&si=HE77EIthpM-7e3I9

Transcript

00:00Ha! I smell dick!

00:04Carnival! It's flesh. Let me just have a feel.

00:07No, he promised me I'd be next.

00:12Perfect landing.

00:18Kiss me, darling.

00:20Something in your nose.

00:21Kiss me, for Christ's sake!

00:23I draw the line of snotty noses.

00:26For crying out loud!

00:27What?

00:29Now get the fuck out of here!

00:39The flesh, he's been kidnapped.

00:41I took him away on some spaceship.

00:43This strange planet has just entered our solar system.

00:46That rocket ship you saw was headed right for it.

00:49I found a way to harness the energy created by the sexual release of copulating chickens.

00:59Those chickens can buy this thing?

01:01We don't want your money, just your virility.

01:03For some reason, impotence radiation doesn't weaken you.

01:05I'm afraid strange planet is in deep trouble!

01:09My calculations show that when the dick is kaput, the woman becomes a freezing bitch!

01:14Ain't that the truth!

01:15And a planet inhabited by cold bitches is doomed!

01:19You, Flesh Gordon, are said to be the possessor of the virile force.

01:23The virile force?

01:24Merritt Stud, I have found a way to make the impotent ray gun more powerful!

01:30We can now export impotence across the universe!

01:35Have you seen my boyfriend, Flesh Gordon?

01:37Sorry, no time!

01:38The human stud?

01:39In the gym locker room!

01:40We're just doing aerobics!

01:41Oh, Flesh, you...

01:42Cosmic orgy!

01:43You are no match for the power of my ears!

01:44Ha!

01:45That voice sounded familiar!

01:46Mwah!

01:47That wasn't that bad!

01:48I was Flesh!

01:49Make sure the fools can follow us!

01:52Maybe I can order from the outside!

01:53But once I get Gordon's sex hammer, you'll beg to be pounded by me!

01:54Ha!

01:55Ha!

01:56Ha!

01:57Ha!

01:58Ha!

01:59Ha!

02:00Ha!

02:01Ha!

02:02Ha!

02:03Ha!

02:04Ha!

02:05Ha!

02:06Ha!

02:07Ha!

02:08Ha!

02:09Ha!

02:10Ha!

02:11Ha!

02:12Ha!

02:13Ha!

02:14Ha!

02:15Ha!

02:16Ha!

02:17Ha!

02:18Ha!

02:19Ha!

02:20Ha!

02:21Ha! Ha!

02:22It talks!

02:23It's safe in that cave down there!

02:25Ha!

02:26Hum!

02:27Get...

02:28Let's go!

02:29Get up!

02:30No!

02:31Then we'll start bombarding the earth with impotence radiation!

02:35Let me treat her in the personality machine!

02:39Turn the dials to the map!

02:45The hell on you, mother dick, Chief!

02:48Thank you, God!

02:49There he is!

02:50It's the ice palace!

02:51I thought you told me Gordon was gone!

02:54I knew my flesh wouldn't let me down!

02:57It might be a trap!

03:00No!

03:01It's the ice palace!

03:02Ha!

03:03I thought you told me Gordon was gone!

03:05I knew my flesh wouldn't let me down!

03:06Ah!

03:07I knew my flesh wouldn't let me down!

03:09Ah!

03:11Ah!

03:12It might be a trap.

03:15Flesh gone.

03:16It's a trap.

03:17Quiet, you little slut.

03:18Why, you.

03:22Well, Beta's just removing Gordon's schlong now.

03:25Well, if it isn't the pushy pussies from Cosmic High.

03:33Impotent radiation will ice the earth and turn all the women into cold bitches.

03:39We must get the queen on our side.

03:40How on Frigid's planet are we going to do that?

03:43You, as the possessor of the virile force, must make love to the queen.

03:47I'll only stick it in halfway.

03:52You said you'd be ten minutes.

03:56I must be dreaming.

03:58So the impotent's ray was just a souped-up sex ray?

04:02And needless domination of women is over.

04:08Let's go away.

04:09You thought you killed me, Gordon.

04:11Penis, brain.

04:12Let's finish it once and for all.

04:15Quickly!

04:15Flash, thank God you're all right.

04:33This box holds all the answers to our problems.

04:35He's on the upper level.

04:36Your Highness will be irreversibly impotent in just one minute.

04:40We have no time at the waist.

04:42I'm surprised at you, Dr. Chekhov.

04:44It's a gigantic prophylactic.

04:47And the best way to cool off a hot tool is to cover it with a condom.

04:50So the nun says to the lesbian, I can't make it that way because me arms are made cheese.

05:12So the lesbian says, in that case, make it Swiss.

05:22I don't get it.

Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders (1990 Movie) - In 5 Minutes

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The 5 Minute Drive-In

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