Frasier Season 9 by Frasier

Frasier

1 year ago

Frasier Season 9 Episode 17 Three Blind Dates

Frasier Season 9

25:53

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Frasier Season 9 Episode 17 Three Blind Dates

Frasier

1 year ago

25:52

Frasier Season 9 Episode 24 Moons Over Seattle

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25:55

Frasier Season 9 Episode 14 Juvenilia

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Frasier Season 9 Episode 21 Cheerful Goodbyes

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Frasier Season 9 Episode 20 The Love You Fake

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Frasier Season 9 Episode 15 The Proposal

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Frasier Season 9 Episode 16 Wheels Of Fortune

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Frasier Season 9 Episode 12 Mother Load Pt 1

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Frasier Season 9 Episode 13 Mother Load Pt 2

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Frasier Season 9 Episode 10 Junior Agent

Frasier

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32:43

Frasier Season 9 Episode 8 The Two Hundredth

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Frasier Season 9 Episode 9 Sharing Kirby

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Frasier Season 9 Episode 5 Love Stinks

Frasier

1 year ago

25:22

Frasier Season 9 Episode 3 The First Temptation Of Daphne

Frasier

1 year ago

53:33

Frasier Season 9 Episode 1+E02 Don Juan In Hell Pt 1 + Pt 2

Frasier

1 year ago

Transcript

00:00Hey, Daphne. Hey, Niles. Come on in. Is Fraser here? I need him to approve the latest version of his bio.

00:08Why does he keep updating his bio? What's changed in the last few years?

00:14Oh, his date of birth.

00:18He's now four years younger than I am.

00:23Well, that's silly. Does everyone fake their age in radio?

00:26No.

00:29Oh, uh, Roz, please sit down. I'm glad you're here. There's something we want to ask you.

00:38When Niles and I get married, it would make us very happy if you would serve as Maid of Honor.

00:44Really?

00:47I'm so touched. I don't know what to say.

00:50Oh, no, of course.

00:52Of course I'll do it.

00:54And now, uh, set aside September 1st.

00:56Oh, is that Labor Day weekend?

01:01Yeah, is that a problem?

01:03Well, there's this picnic I always go to, and I make the potato salad.

01:09What am I saying? Your wedding is more important than potato salad, or any salad.

01:16Then it's settled.

01:18I'll make the potato salad the night before, and I'll just get some...

01:22I'll figure it out.

01:27Hello.

01:29Hey.

01:31Look who's here. It's my little brother, Frasier.

01:33I brought your new bio.

01:35Oh, yes. Well, I'll have to deal with that tomorrow, Roz. I've got to be cross-town in half an hour.

01:37I'm previewing the new Benjamin Locklear exhibit, and then I'm having dinner with the artists afterward.

01:39Promises to be a very exciting evening.

01:41And what lucky lady are you sharing it with?

01:43Well, I'm going alone.

01:45Oh, I'm sorry.

01:47Oh, don't be. Truth is, I'm a pretty terrific date.

01:49Oh, I'm sorry.

01:51Oh, don't be. Truth is, I'm a pretty terrific date.

01:53Oh, I'm sorry.

01:55Yes, I know when to arrive.

01:57I know when to call it a night.

01:59And frankly, I always leave myself wanting more.

02:01And frankly, I always leave myself wanting more.

02:08Oh, it's too bad Dr. Crane doesn't have anyone to share these things with.

02:12I know.

02:14When was the last time he seriously dated anyone?

02:16Well, that would be Claire, but that was months ago.

02:18Well, that would be Claire, but that was months ago.

02:22We should set him up with someone.

02:24it seems to me he's choosing not to date. I have this friend at yoga he might like.

02:29No, she sounds flaky. I have the perfect person for him. Well, you know, he's always

02:36been completely capable of meeting people on his own. No, we should go with

02:40my person first. You don't have the best track record. Me? Whenever you've set me

02:46up with guys, I knew they were losers the second I saw them. Turned out to be bad

02:52in bed, too. Well, there's no reason we both can't try to set him up with

02:58someone. Okay, but we have to find someone who's gorgeous, sexy, and smart. Smart's

03:06good, but I'm not a fanatic about it. It's not for you, it's for Dr. Crane. Yes, even

03:14though he's expressed no dissatisfaction with his love life whatsoever, these two

03:18have decided to make it their mission to find him a mate. It's not a bad idea.

03:22It's been a long time since Frasier was excited about somebody. I kind of miss

03:29that spring in his step, you know? The nervous energy he gets where every first

03:35date might be the one. The electricity of that 30-point self-inspection before he

03:43rolls out of the showroom. He says he's happy. Isn't that what you would have

03:50said, too, before your brother helped bring us together? That's my point exactly.

03:55Let's start calling babes!

04:03What about Caroline? She got along great with your brother. She the one missing a

04:09tooth? She had it replaced. Our dental school did a good job, too. You can only

04:15tell it's fake under a black light.

04:23What about Jennifer? She's pretty smart. She has those perky breasts.

04:30Wouldn't call them perky so much as... I don't remember Jennifer.

04:39Well, besides, didn't Frasier already go out with her? Oh, you're right.

04:46Well, that's everyone I know. Oh, it's too bad. I was hoping we could help.

04:55There is this one woman I know, Lisa. She'd be great. They share a lot of interest. She

05:03even owns a bookstore. You've been holding out on me. Well, she's a former

05:09patient, so that's kind of an ethical gray area. I'm not sure I'm comfortable

05:14setting her up with Frasier. Well, what if she didn't know you were setting her up?

05:18You could point her out to me, and I could strike up a friendship. We could go

05:24out for coffee, see movies, tell each other everything. Yeah, maybe I was a

05:29little hasty in making Rosmarie a maid of honor.

05:36As soon as she finds out you're my fiancé, well, there's my ethical dilemma again.

05:43Well, what if they just happen to meet by themselves? Like at her bookstore?

05:50Exactly. Frasier is always going to bookstores. She does own a bookstore.

06:00Over time, it's highly probable he would find himself in her bookstore. Perhaps I

06:08could just place them within range of one another. I'd just stay out of sight.

06:15That'll do. So what does she look like anyway? Oh my god, she's gorgeous. She has

06:21these... I'd have to check my notes.

06:41Well, it's a lovely little bookstore in Isles, but I hardly see how it's worth

06:48driving all the way across town. It doesn't seem to have much of a selection.

06:52Well, they may not cater to all tastes, but I'm confident you'll find something

06:57to pique your interest.

07:04Um, Frasier, um, Daphne had asked me to provide her with a reading list, you know,

07:14to broaden her mind. Oh, that's admirable. Yeah, and I was thinking of

07:18starting with Shakespeare, and you have such a grasp of his work. I was wondering

07:23if you could help me make a selection. Well, of course, although I'm a bit

07:27surprised. I mean, you always considered yourself the more well-versed. Well-versed,

07:31yes, but you're the expert. Well, it's since third grade to hear you say that.

07:45Um, you know, maybe she'd appreciate Shakespeare more if she knew something

07:55about him, perhaps a biography. That's good thinking.

08:03Although philosophy is the basis of all thought, any mind-broadening exercise

08:08should begin with philosophy. Very well. Or sports.

08:16No philosophy. You're certain? Unquestionably.

08:38Here we are, Plato's Republic. Can't say I agree with everything in there, but it's a place to start.

08:52Oh, there's a little tear in the cover. Would you get me another copy?

08:55Good heavens, Darth, what am I, your lackey? No, no, no, I'm just engrossed in this

09:00Heroes of Nazcar. Fine. Here you go, pristine condition. Thank you.

09:18You know, while we're here, I'd like to try to find a book on the early British monarchy.

09:24I've recently read The Isles, a history, and they didn't go into as much detail as I might have liked about

09:29the Plantagenets. Well, you know, why don't you ask someone here? I found the staff here very knowledgeable.

09:37Well, yes, all right, all right, I'll be right there. Ah, excuse me.

09:44Do you happen to have a book on the Plantagenets? That's like a banana, right?

09:53Never mind. Any luck? Finding dunderheads, yes.

09:57Oh, well, maybe you should ask someone else. All right.

10:01Can I help the next person? Or maybe what we should do is just pay for our books and go.

10:05Well, Naz, we just got here. You're acting very strangely.

10:08Am I not? What the hell is wrong with you? I'm sorry, dizzy spell.

10:15There's a footstool in the Shakespeare section. Why don't you just go have a seat for a minute?

10:19I'll be fine. You just pay for the books? Right, yes, of course.

10:21Clark, can you take over? Sure.

10:28Hello again. Yes, hello. So, did you find what you're looking for?

10:32Not really, no. Okay.

10:36Oh, I have book lovers discount. Ah, we don't accept that.

10:40Independent booksellers? No.

10:44Bibliophiles? Dewey Decimal Discount? Dust Jacket Gang?

10:51I'm sorry, we do have our own card. It's $25. $25 for a little car?

10:57You get 15% off all purchases. Very well. How much will I save today?

11:05The discount starts with your next purchase. What?

11:09What kind of a Ponzi scheme are you operating here? Store policy.

11:13I would like to speak with the store owner, please.

11:16What's going on? I'm going to give the owner a piece of my mind.

11:19Oh, that's all right. Forget it. I don't want the book.

11:21Yes, you do. You're getting the book. No, I don't.

11:23You're getting the book and a discount. Lisa, we have a card challenge at checkout.

11:28No, no, no. Challenge withdrawn. Over my protest?

11:32No, no, look, we're leaving. Everything's okay. All right, all right.

11:35You know, by the way, you have an alphabetical misfire, but I'm not telling you where.

11:44I just know the two of you are going to hit it off.

11:49I thought you were always complaining you're such a tight ass.

11:52I'm not complaining. I'm bragging, you know?

11:57But I work with someone who's got such a tight ass.

12:01Frazier! Susanna! Susanna, this is Frazier.

12:06Come on in. Roz has told me all about you.

12:09She's told me all about you, too.

12:11I thought since you were making dinner, I'd add a little contribution of my own.

12:15It's nothing special, just a key lime pie.

12:18Nothing special. She made the whole thing herself from scratch.

12:23The crust, the meringue. She even baked it in a pie plate she fired in her own home kiln.

12:32In my spare time, I use my power of invisibility to fight crime.

12:38Am I overselling this a little?

12:40Just a bit, yes, Roz. I'll just go put this in the kitchen.

12:45Why don't you ladies make yourselves comfortable?

12:54Would anyone care for some wine?

12:57Sure. Frazier knows pretty much everything there is to know about wine.

13:02Tell us some things about wine, Frazier.

13:08Sometimes you have to know when to put a cork in it.

13:14So, Roz, where's Roger?

13:16I don't know. I'll call him and see what's holding him up.

13:20You know, Susanna, now would be a good time to show Frazier your portfolio.

13:26Susanna's an artist. She even has a gallery that shows her paintings exclusively.

13:33It's not so much a gallery as a restaurant slash bowling alley.

13:38She's a hell of a bowler, too.

13:42Someone better snatch her up before she joins a league and there go her Saturday nights.

13:52Roz, go make your call, all right?

13:56Here we are.

13:59I don't usually travel with my portfolio, but she made me bring it.

14:04I'm glad she did. I actually fancy myself a bit of a collector. I'd love to see it.

14:08Oh, all right. But be gentle.

14:11Of course.

14:17Oh, my.

14:20Well, that is interesting. It's quite remarkable, really.

14:23Thanks. The original's hanging over the shoe rental.

14:29Wonderful texture.

14:32And these blues.

14:35So much sadness.

14:38Most people don't get that.

14:42And your elongated figures are actually reminiscent of Modigliani.

14:46That's interesting. I used to love Modigliani as a girl.

14:50Maybe I was subconsciously influenced by him.

14:52Quite possibly, yes.

14:55See, you're also a fan of Benjamin Locklear.

14:58What?

14:59Benjamin Locklear as a showman.

15:01I know who he is. His stuff isn't anything like mine.

15:04Maybe you haven't seen his latest work.

15:07You see, I was just in attendance at his most recent opening.

15:11I purchased a fantastic piece myself. Here, let me show you.

15:18Oh, my God.

15:19It's magnificent, isn't it?

15:21You know, I'm thinking of putting it in my bedroom to set off the duvet.

15:25That hack ripped me off.

15:27That's quite an accusation.

15:29The guy is a thief. Everyone in the art community knows it.

15:32I consider myself a member of the art community. All I've heard is good things.

15:36Oh, please. The guy steals from lesser-known artists

15:39and markets himself to suckers with more money than taste.

15:44You know what?

15:46You're right.

15:48Maybe he did copy you.

15:51Maybe he got his inspiration one evening when he was out

15:55bowling a few frames.

15:58I do not need to be insulted by someone who buys art

16:03because it matches his bedspread.

16:06It's a duvet, and it's a bedspread.

16:09I buy his art because it matches his bedspread.

16:12It's a duvet, and you're delusional.

16:14Dilettante.

16:15Forger.

16:16Man who uses the word duvet.

16:24Hey, guys. How's it going?

16:27She is crazy. That's how it's going.

16:29And for your information, Benjamin Locklear is as overrated as your ass.

16:40What the hell was that supposed to mean?

16:42I have no idea. Have a nice weekend.

16:46What's going on out here?

16:48I don't know.

16:50Ros set me up on a blind date with one of her friends.

16:54Big waste of time, huh?

16:56Well, there's pie.

16:59Homemade?

17:01Yep.

17:02Cherry?

17:03Key lime.

17:05I can live with that.

17:09Sorry, son. Tough break.

17:11Oh, I bet it's got a lard crust.

17:19Brought you a fork, Dad.

17:20Oh, thanks.

17:22Wish I'd never let Ros set me up on that date.

17:25Well, you know you can't hit the ball unless you take a swing.

17:29Oh, now, there's this gal at the building where I work.

17:33Dad, you're not proposing another blind date?

17:35Now, she's a beautiful young lawyer, and she couldn't be nicer.

17:39I am not interested.

17:40Well, now, don't say that. You gotta see her.

17:43Dad.

17:44Frazier, listen to me.

17:48You gotta see her.

17:53Young lawyer, you say?

18:02Thanks for meeting me here.

18:04Sure.

18:05I thought it would be nice to have a drink before dinner.

18:09You know, I don't think I've ever really been here before,

18:11but it does have a nice sort of neighborhood feel to it.

18:15It is my favorite place.

18:18So my dad tells me that you're a lawyer.

18:21Actually, I'm a legal secretary.

18:24But I'm planning to go to law school next fall.

18:27Oh, well, that's admirable.

18:30Of course, you know, paradoxically, you'll have to pass the bar

18:36if you expect to pass the bar.

18:40You're so funny.

18:44Hey, Chris.

18:46Hey, Clint.

18:47Nice to see you.

18:48Hey, that's a great sweater.

18:50Oh, thank you.

18:56So, um, what did my dad tell you about me?

18:59Oh, he talks about you all the time.

19:02Really?

19:03He's very proud of you.

19:05Oh, Mom.

19:06But what he didn't tell me is how good looking you are.

19:12Well, thank you.

19:14Compliments of the gentleman in the Hawaiian shirt.

19:19Thanks, Graham.

19:25So you, uh, you know him?

19:27Oh, you know.

19:31Hey, you.

19:33Hey.

19:34Wouldn't mind stopping and spilling those roses.

19:36Oh, you are so funny.

19:40Jason, this is Frasier.

19:42Frasier, Jason.

19:43Nice to meet you.

19:44So you owe me a pool game.

19:47Another time.

19:48Oh, sounds like somebody's scared.

19:51Yeah, you.

19:53Scared of getting your ass kicked.

19:56But it'll have to be another time.

19:58I'm on a date.

20:00Frasier doesn't mind.

20:01You don't mind, do you?

20:02Well, uh, actually.

20:04I'll be right back.

20:09Mind if I break?

20:10Sure, go ahead.

20:16Looks like you're stripes.

20:18You are definitely solid.

20:21Shut up.

20:22I got next game.

20:23I'm after Graham.

20:27So.

20:29How do you know Chris?

20:33You know.

20:36No, I really don't.

20:39I got her next.

20:40Oh, Chris.

20:41I got my car checked out.

20:43You were right.

20:44Was the transmission.

20:46Then you owe me a pitcher.

20:48Uh-huh.

20:53So you know Chris a long time?

20:55Who are you?

20:56I'm her date.

20:59Nice job.

21:01It's hot tonight.

21:02Is that who are you?

21:07Excuse me.

21:18Hello.

21:20Oh, dad.

21:23Yeah.

21:25Oh, yeah.

21:26She's very pretty.

21:28And, uh.

21:29And nice.

21:33A little too nice, perhaps.

21:43Frasier.

21:44The table only takes quarters.

21:47Would you get some change?

21:49You know, Chris.

21:50Maybe we should cancel our plans for tonight.

21:53What?

21:54Why?

21:55Well, you're having such a good time with your crowd here.

21:59No.

22:00I just have to teach this one guy a lesson.

22:03Then I'm all yours.

22:04I promise.

22:06Well, I guess I could ask the bartender for some change.

22:09Oh, Smitty's too busy.

22:11But try next door at the dry cleaners.

22:14Tell them it's for me.

22:16Thanks for the tip.

22:18You are so sweet.

22:21Isn't Frasier sweet, guys?

22:23Yeah.

22:29I felt sure that Frasier was going to head it off with Chris.

22:33She's really popular in the office.

22:38Poor Dr. Crane.

22:39I feel like we failed him.

22:41Well, I'm not ready to throw in the towel.

22:44There's this woman at the dog park.

22:46If you're going to try again, we should try again, too.

22:50Maybe Frasier had the right attitude by leaving it up to fate.

22:54There's nothing wrong with lending a helping hand.

22:57Maybe we were destined to fix him up with someone.

23:00No.

23:01I'm afraid whatever we wanted for Frasier,

23:05fate had other plans.

23:09Hi.

23:11Can you give me change for a dollar?

23:13No change.

23:15It's for Chris.

23:16Oh, yeah, sure.

23:20There you go.

23:22Hi, Lisa.

23:23Oh, Andy.

23:26Can you get out spray paint?

23:28Well, how'd this happen?

23:30I was at the new Benjamin Locklear exhibit,

23:33and this crazy woman came in and started ranting

23:36about how he'd ripped off her work,

23:38and then she started spray painting everything.

23:44Actually, I don't know if I should clean it or hold on to it

23:46Actually, I don't know if I should clean it or hold on to it

23:48till after she dies.

23:52You know, because art increases in value after the artist...

23:57Think you can get this out?

24:00Excuse me.

24:01You only gave me three quarters and a nickel.

24:04Huh.

24:05I guess I don't have any more quarters left.

24:07You want your dollar back?

24:09Oh, I might have change.

24:11Let me look.

24:12Oh, that's very kind of you.

24:15Candy.

24:16Oh, oh, oh.

24:18Here you go.

24:19Thanks.

24:23Say, don't you have a coat?

24:26It's kind of cold outside.

24:28I just got spray paint on mine.

24:30I wanted to get it cleaned as soon as possible.

24:33Did you put seltzer on it?

24:34Of course.

24:35You know, a lot of people mistakenly use lemon juice.

24:40Which never works.

24:41No, no.

24:43And it attracts bees.

24:45I did not know that.

24:48Well, I'm not exactly certain that it attracts bees,

24:50but, I mean, it does make sense, doesn't it?

24:55Not really, but you say it with such authority, I bought it.

25:02Say, do you play pool?

25:05No.

25:07Neither do I.

25:09Hi.

25:10My name is Fraser.

25:11Hi.

25:18Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling

25:21Tossed salads and scrambled eggs

25:25Mercy

25:27And maybe I seem a bit confused

25:30Well, maybe

25:31But I got you pegged

25:36But I don't know what to do

25:38With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs

25:43They're calling again

25:46Good night, everybody!

Frasier Season 9 Episode 17 Three Blind Dates

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Frasier Season 9

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