00:00Let's get in the box!
00:02No! No! Get in the box!
00:07He can't be a box!
00:10My name is Luke Owen and I love bad wrestling.
00:14Join me on my journey through a cavalcade of crapness,
00:17watching what many believe to be the worst wrestling matches of all time
00:22to make my friends and you fall in love with bad wrestling too.
00:26This is my quest to find the worst match ever.
00:34Welcome to Worst Match Ever,
00:36where we're on the search for the worst wrestling match of all time
00:39and by its very definition, the best worst wrestling match of all time.
00:44I'm going to go in DAD, this is Tempest.
00:46Oh, I forgot my mask.
00:49That's Sullivan.
00:50Hello.
00:51And previously, we decided that Volkov and Sheik versus the Bushwhackers
00:57was both the best and worst.
00:58Yes!
00:59Because it's a new series!
01:00We need to find if our next match is going to go above or below this.
01:05Now, I only know this match that we're going to do today through infamy.
01:11And I don't know if it's got it in for me, but we'll soon find out.
01:15Tempest, why don't you tell us what we're going to be watching today?
01:19Chikara Pro Wrestling was a silly promotion created in 2002
01:22and filled with Ice Cream Men, Hypnotic Snakes, and Eddie Kingston.
01:25And it was good for a laugh until 2020 when the laughs abruptly stopped.
01:29The match you're about to see is possibly the most ridiculous match the promotion ever put on
01:33from the final of the King of Trios tournament in 2007.
01:36This match between Mokujin Ken, AKA Ken the Box, and the Mecha Mummy
01:39has gone down as one of the most ludicrous wrestling matches in history,
01:43but is it the worst match ever?
01:45Let's find out.
01:46Why is he called Ken the Box?
01:48Oh.
01:49Oh, you'll find out, Solomon.
01:50You'll find out, Solomon.
01:51You'll find out.
01:52Oh, yeah.
01:53Oh, I can't wait.
01:54Why spoil the surprise?
01:57Right out of the gate, referee Bryce Remsberg.
01:59Yeah.
02:00There we go.
02:01Fantastic.
02:02With a full head of hair.
02:03Full head of hair.
02:04Yeah.
02:05It's weird when you see, you know, but when people see old videos,
02:07me and I've got hair.
02:09I have the same thing with Claudio.
02:11As long as Claudio with hair, I'm like, who are you?
02:13Yeah.
02:14Here we go.
02:15Our first participant.
02:16Who's it going to be?
02:17Is it going to be Ken the Box?
02:18I want to see Ken the Box so much.
02:20I want to see Ken the Box.
02:24I don't even care about Mecha Mummy.
02:26And Mecha Mummy has an objectively more interesting name, but...
02:30Ken the Box!
02:31No!
02:32Ken the Box!
02:33No!
02:34Ken the Box!
02:35He can't be a Box!
02:40He's a Box!
02:41He's a Box!
02:42He's a Box!
02:43He's a Box!
02:44This is a bit...
02:45And there's the Bushwacker in disguise.
02:47He's doing the thing!
02:48He's doing the thing!
02:49He's doing the thing!
02:50That's the only thing he can do!
02:52Someone...
02:53He is a Box?
02:54He's a Box!
02:55He's a Tree!
02:56He's a Tree?
02:57Yeah.
02:58Is he a Box or a Tree?
02:59He's a Tree from Tekken, right?
03:00Yeah!
03:01Yeah!
03:02He's that guy!
03:03He looks a little bit also like the Tree from Kirby as well.
03:08He did a blow on you with Super Smash Brothers!
03:11I wonder if I could see Yoshi jumping around him!
03:15The two young boys just making sure he doesn't trip!
03:22That is a guy that was just like,
03:23I've not done anything for a while.
03:25Better do the hands again!
03:27What?
03:28What?
03:29Don't follow him!
03:30Go this way!
03:31What is Ken the Box?
03:32Well...
03:33Why has he got a bird on him?
03:34Because he's a tree!
03:35Because he's a tree!
03:36Is he a box or a tree?
03:37Why doesn't he...
03:38Woohoo!
03:39He doesn't care!
03:42He doesn't care what he is!
03:44What gave him life?
03:45Why is he crying blood?
03:46Why is he crying blood?
03:48Blood?
03:49Blood.
03:50Blood.
03:51I'm sure there's a reason.
03:53If you were a living tree, you'd be...
03:55You'd be crying blood, wouldn't you?
03:57Kill me!
03:59Why do you make me live?
04:01You make me wrestle!
04:03He also very clearly can't see,
04:05so I just walked into the tech and go,
04:07Whoa!
04:08Whoa!
04:09Turn him this way!
04:10Wait for it!
04:11There!
04:12This is the worst thing in the world!
04:19This is horrendous!
04:21Sullivan, this is just the entrance!
04:23I know!
04:24I know!
04:25He's gone on for so long as well!
04:27Much like we said in the last episode.
04:29This video's only ten minutes long.
04:34What gave him life?
04:36That's what I want to know!
04:38Why...
04:39Why is he able to do any of this?
04:43But also, what a pro!
04:44Get out all four sides of the ring to make sure everyone gets hit into your torn.
04:48Oh no, no, no, Luke.
04:49He's looking for a way in the ring.
04:52Walked around one side,
04:54There's no stairs over here.
04:57Let me check the other side.
04:58No!
04:59Where's that handler going?
05:01Where's that kid in the beanie?
05:02He's supposed to help me out here.
05:04How's he going to get in anyway?
05:06Because the box is so big.
05:07He won't be able to get through the rope.
05:09Look, they're copying it!
05:12It's getting over!
05:13He's getting over!
05:15I just...
05:16He can't get in!
05:18He can't get in the ring!
05:20He can't...
05:22If wrestling isn't real, explain this.
05:25Yeah!
05:27Oh, thanks Bryce!
05:29It doesn't help!
05:30I can't bend my knee!
05:32He can't get in for so many reasons!
05:35There are so many...
05:37I mean, does he look at the table and think,
05:39Oh no!
05:40That was my cousin?
05:41I'm sure he can't put anyone through a table!
05:46Don't be wrong!
05:47It's like cannibalism!
05:48Soon I shall become this table!
05:52And he goes,
05:53Ah, f*** it!
05:54He's not getting in the ring!
05:55Guess not!
05:56Cut away to someone else!
05:58I'll just get a bit of mecha mummy out here, yes!
06:00Okay, so mecha mummy.
06:01What's going on there?
06:02So, is it an Egyptian mummy?
06:05I presume?
06:07It's not a mecha mother.
06:09Yeah, it's not a Karen.
06:10No.
06:11It's...
06:12Little poofs of fog.
06:14Oh, here he comes!
06:15Here he comes!
06:16What the f*** is this?!
06:19He's got a drill!
06:24So the only things that make him mecha are his right arm...
06:30And all the metal on him!
06:32And...
06:33Okay, okay.
06:34Now I can see...
06:35So he's not really a mummy, actually.
06:37Well, he is.
06:38He's a mecha mummy.
06:39Where's the...
06:40He's got his hair out!
06:41He's...
06:42He's wrapped up in bandages.
06:43Not his hair, though!
06:44They didn't wrap up his hair!
06:45It's too flowing!
06:46It's too flowing to wrap up!
06:49Oh, he's just dropped the drill!
06:50He doesn't need a drill!
06:51Well, it's very dangerous on a tree!
06:53Yeah, that's very true.
06:54That's very true.
06:55F***ing Doomfist, someone on the watch, has just shown up.
07:02He's just holding that drill!
07:04The wibbly wobbliness of that big fist as well.
07:08Well, you've got to build up to the drill!
07:11That's what happened!
07:13But it so clearly doesn't spin as well.
07:17There we go!
07:18Ding, ding, ding!
07:19The match is on!
07:20We're not getting this in the ring.
07:21Oh!
07:22Oh!
07:23F***ing hell!
07:24Oh!
07:25That was devastating!
07:27Ken, the box is getting absolutely bulletin!
07:31He's dented him!
07:32Look how much that was!
07:33Oh no!
07:34F***ing hell!
07:35F***ing Groot just hit a headbutt!
07:38Don't knock the head too much, it'll come off!
07:41So this is really a boxing match at this point as well.
07:44It's not really a wrestling match.
07:46I'll Ken the boxing match.
07:47Hey!
07:53Alright guys, that's the whole match.
07:55We're going home.
07:56I mean, this is...
07:57He keeps adjusting their head.
08:00And they're both just no-selling every single punch as well.
08:03Well, if you punched a tree, I bet it would no-sell.
08:06Oh, I f***ed him on the head!
08:10And if you punch that...
08:11Oh!
08:12Oh no!
08:13Oh, so he's lost his giant fist.
08:14Oh, he's taking the bird!
08:15Not the bird!
08:16No!
08:17No!
08:18He needs that!
08:19That's the thing that gave him life!
08:20Oh!
08:21He's putting it in his little compartment!
08:22He's going to ingest it!
08:23He's got a little compartment!
08:25It powers him!
08:26I didn't realise Mechamere is powered by birds!
08:30It's going to make him stronger!
08:32Conceiving birds in his compartment!
08:34Well, it's not going to be much effect though, because...
08:36Get in the box here!
08:37Oh!
08:38Body shot!
08:39This isn't actually too unsimilar to the Bushwhackers match.
08:43People are just running into punches!
08:46And I mean, one of them can only go like this!
08:50I'm telling you, there's a Bushwhacker in that box!
08:54Mechamere's had enough, he's going to go buy some merch!
08:57And one of them can't even get in the ring!
09:00This is...
09:01This is...
09:02I threw the giant fist!
09:04You know what?
09:06That's innovative!
09:07I like it!
09:08He's throwing it again!
09:09He's getting it again!
09:10Working it back to the ring now!
09:14He's backing him up!
09:16He's giving him a cuddle!
09:17No, no box!
09:18This way!
09:19Cut me this way, sir!
09:21He's just battering him!
09:26I'm crying!
09:28Get in the box and just turn around in circles for no reason!
09:32He's confused as to what to do next!
09:35What do I do?
09:36I've been battered!
09:37If you go the other way, you undizzy yourself!
09:40Oh, that's very good!
09:42Where's the mummy gone?
09:45Where has the mummy gone?
09:46Where is Mechamummy?
09:47Oh no!
09:48No, Mechamummy!
09:49No, don't do it!
09:50Mechamummy's on top!
09:52Projectile!
09:53It's a ranged weapon too!
09:56It's devastated from up there!
10:00Oh, he's going to jump on him, but he hasn't!
10:03Just threw his fist at him!
10:05At least he hit him!
10:07Yeah, that's true!
10:08It would be worse if he missed!
10:10His head has moved, so now any sight that he had is entirely gone!
10:15He's trying to run away!
10:17Oh, look!
10:18There's Mechamummy!
10:19He's had enough!
10:20Look at him!
10:21He's got the drill!
10:22Oh no!
10:23Oh no!
10:24The natural enemy of a tree!
10:26It spins!
10:27Oh, it does spin if you make it spin yourself!
10:31Oh no!
10:32He's getting pinballed!
10:33Oh my god!
10:34Oh, no!
10:35Oh, no!
10:36Look at this!
10:37It's a fan!
10:38No!
10:39Not again!
10:40It's a murder!
10:41Oh my god!
10:42It's a murder!
10:43No!
10:44Murder's not legal at wrestling!
10:45Bryce, do something!
10:46Do something, Bryce!
10:47For God's sake, Bryce!
10:48Disguided by him!
10:49Remsburg, you're in charge here!
10:50Stop the match!
10:51Ken, do you quit?
10:52Oh, he's going to check Ken!
10:53He's in the arms!
10:54He's checking his pulse!
10:55He's just trying!
10:56Is Remsburg helping?
10:57What are you doing?
10:58What are you doing?
10:59What are you doing?
11:00What are you doing?
11:01What are you doing?
11:02What are you doing?
11:03What are you doing?
11:04What are you doing?
11:05What are you doing?
11:06Is Remsburg helping?
11:07What are you doing, Remsburg?
11:08I don't know why!
11:09He's got a lighter in his hands!
11:10Yeah!
11:11Oh my god!
11:12I think he's setting him on fire!
11:14I think Remsburg's helping here!
11:16Yeah!
11:17Oh no!
11:18Remsburg!
11:19No!
11:20He absolutely is helping!
11:21Oh, look at that blazing fire!
11:23Look at the sparks from the drill!
11:25So is Bryce in on this?
11:27Oh!
11:28Oh!
11:29There it is!
11:30That's the bell!
11:31Mecca Mummy is the winner!
11:32Winner of the match by way of murder!
11:33And the referee helping!
11:34He didn't need the help of a referee in a giant drill!
11:35Oh man!
11:36He was doing just fine all by himself!
11:37Oh my god!
11:38There we are!
11:39I think we all thought that Ken the Box was going to win, but...
11:54This is what people on Twitter think AEW is!
12:01Yeah!
12:02Yeah!
12:03Yeah!
12:04The people who really hate AEW, they think this is what it is!
12:07Yeah!
12:08This is very true!
12:09Oh no, let's drag the carcass back through the curtain!
12:12Ken the Box is all elite!
12:15Let me tell you, I would pop so f***ing hard!
12:19If Ken the Box came out!
12:21If dark elevations still existed!
12:24Run it back!
12:26Run it back!
12:27So, you know, with the Bushbackers versus Volkov and the Iron Sheik, it was people who
12:35were just too old, really.
12:37In this case, it's somebody who... it's impossible for them to wrestle!
12:42Before, they were just too old!
12:44Here, they were just too not human!
12:47One of them is a box!
12:50One of them is an actual box!
12:52And the other one was a Mecha Mummy!
12:54It was a Mecha Mummy, which is questionable how much of a mummy this Mecha Mummy was!
12:59What?!
13:00I'm sorry, there were...
13:01That's the thing you take objection to in this one!
13:04What happened to the bird?!
13:07We never saw the bird again!
13:09We never saw the bird again!
13:10It powered Mecha Mummy to victory!
13:12But Mecha Mummy, right...
13:14Okay, I'd be surprised if he's still got a brain, and mummies don't have brains because
13:19they took them out of the nose!
13:20I knew that from primary school, thank you very much!
13:22So, Sullivan, are you saying this is better or worse than the Bushwhackers?
13:26It's less historically accurate!
13:28This is not what would happen if a mummy fought a tree!
13:33I love it, it's like it's more a story going, than the Soviet Union and Iran teaming up together
13:38to fight some Australians!
13:40Neil, you can uncover your eyes, they're not Australians, they're New Zealanders!
13:45I think...
13:47I think...
13:48Oh, it's hard to judge which the worst match, because that previous match had so nothing in it!
13:54This had absolutely nothing though, but I did quite like the spot with the flying fist!
13:59Yep, that's the spot of the night!
14:01I think that might take it!
14:02I think if this is up here, for me, this is down this end!
14:06Yep!
14:07This is down this end!
14:08I don't think there's a...
14:09I couldn't watch that and not have fun!
14:11Yeah!
14:12This is the fun end of the board!
14:13Yeah!
14:14Yeah!
14:15This is fun!
14:16Really stupid!
14:17I love that he's a box!
14:18And he played the part of box very well!
14:22I love that he's also known as Ken the Box!
14:25I think that's inherently a very fun thing, that his name is...
14:28He is a normal name, but he is a box!
14:30Yep!
14:31I was gonna get sent back to...
14:32The Box Factory!
14:33We'll be going to the...
14:37Box Factory!
14:38I love your idea that he sees the table and he's like...
14:41No!
14:42No!
14:43Brad!
14:44Loose!
14:45What happened to ya?
14:46We'll be back next month with another delve into the realms of worst matches ever!
14:52Until then, I've been Luke Owen, D.A.D.
14:54That has been Tempest!
14:55Woo!
14:56And that's been Sullivan!
14:58I'm a box!
14:59Worst Match Ever!
15:01They don't abide by your American rules!
15:07And bite of the forehead!
15:10Yeah, really!
15:11This is the story of how a Russian man and an Iranian man have come together to stop these
15:19two...
15:20Off the ropes!
15:21...child lickers!
15:22No...
15:23Ha, ha, ha!
15:24Ha, ha, ha!
15:28That's very good to see.
15:29I've had a舞 continu of the Wilmen I always wanted to do with, Philç”s, after-
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