How Adam Would Book... Katie Vick

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Transcript

00:00so

00:18i'm adam hailing from parts of unknown and this is how adam would book where i take his thing

00:38i gotta make it better and this week month i'm doing katie vick

00:44i've avoided doing this for about seven years but i've run out of ideas boys so

00:59like and subscribe i suppose and jam that jam

01:03october the 7th 2002 raw roulette good episode of raw ending with tlc4 with kane defending kane and

01:17hurricanes or as they otherwise known hurricanes tag titles by himself in a tlc match he did he

01:25climbed the ladder he kept the titles he was very happy and stood in the ring and out came triple h

01:31and accused kane of being a murderer which in fairness is like accusing the sky of being up

01:38because at the royal room i think kane's killed people like i think that is that's part of his

01:45life right at the royal rumble 1998 he tried to kill the undertaker pretty sure he did kill the

01:50undertaker anyway tlc4 was an amazing match fun fact there wouldn't be another tlc match for another

01:55four years after this so katie vick wasn't the only thing that wwe killed it was a bit bad i mean

02:03it was a cliffhanger you're a murderer kane end of episode a bit bad and weird but it could fit it was

02:09only the next week on raw when things got really really bad it's really really bad kane took to the

02:16ring to do a big confessional speech katie was a friend of mine from 10 years ago she watched my

02:23first wrestling match i thought kane's first appearance at a wrestling match was a hell in a

02:29cell at bad blood in your house wasn't he he was a mute he was already a mute burned demon by that point

02:39and that tracks with the timeline of the story then played out with the undertaker because the

02:43undertaker when kane was a child set the fire that burned down their funeral home and killed their

02:52parents so he wasn't kane was younger than a teenager there because undertaker was a teenager there

02:57so kane definitely wasn't old enough to drive or drink and he also by his teenage years have a big

03:04red mask on why have you see do you've seen this first why did you let him drive well also the

03:10undertaker is like an actual murderer he admitted to that he set the fire on purpose but also kane

03:18was going to parties like a kegger kane drove katie vick home an animal jumped out in front of their

03:25car came driving in the mask i guess the car span out and katie died needless to say the entire speech

03:33that kane did the crowd watered the whole thing which is sad which seems as good a time as any to talk

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05:37so the week after that admittedly quite compelling murder cliffhanger that's when things started to

05:43get very very bad things there are three very bad things bad thing number one literally nothing about

05:50this timeline makes any sense it's also not the kind of thing that kane does it's not the kind of thing

05:55that makes kane or made kane cool his brother has lightning powers kane can make flames magically appear

06:04with his arms he was raised as a bastard son of i want to say a evil funeral director although

06:13because paul paul bearer not paul hayman not not paul hayman paul bearer was a funeral director

06:20right that's what he is he's not a paul bearer he's a funeral director he's got the suit on so

06:26an undertaker and kane lived in a funeral home which burnt down and the fire killed

06:32kane undertaker's parents so surely they were the funeral directors was paul bearer a rival funeral

06:39director who undertaker's mom at a funeral director's work retreat and got her pregnant with kane because

06:46paul bearer is kane's dad point is undertaker's an actual murderer bad thing number two this makes

06:52kane into a human being which is the worst version of kane actually the worst version of kane is

06:57currently on twitter but keeping it strictly to wrestling kane is best when he's a magic monster

07:03not a sad man who's gone through a tragic car accident the kind that happened all the time and

07:11it's just really sad and using it for heat feels gross especially when also you consider the fact

07:17that it's happened to like loads of actual like wrestlers in real life adrian adonis died in a car

07:24crash so junkyard dog brian pillman was caught in a vehicle accident that massively shortened his career

07:30and life brandy savage died in a car crash like kane and taker's monstrousness makes sense as escapist

07:36fiction because it's so goth and heightened and unreal so you can enjoy the kind of camp nature of

07:43it someone dying in a car crash is just sad and human and really sad but then and it got worse

07:52it's time for bad thing number three triple h came out and said that the police found beer cans in the

07:58vehicle on the driver's side again that's kane's first mask the is he drinking in that that's not

08:04important i suppose except it is but it isn't anyway triple h

08:12triple h went on to say that the doctors not going to look at you for this bit that the doctors found

08:18semen inside katie vick's body leading to one of the worst lines in the history of wrestling promos

08:25kane the question i have is on that night did you force katie vick to have sex with you

08:32you while she was alive or did you just wait and do it to her while she was dead

08:41then raw went to commercial and when they came back there was a women's tag match between trish and

08:48jack and this is victoria and molly holly with stacy feebler as a special guest referee

08:54wwe ladies and gentlemen one segment accusing another wrestler of necrophilia and then next

09:02segment it's a lovely ladies tag match look at these lovely ladies then no mercy happens and the

09:09big pay-per-view match that this whole feud was building to kane versus triple h world title versus

09:15intercontinental title winner take all triple h beats kane with rick flair's help and then after that match the

09:22story continues for real the really bad bit that all of you remember about the katie vick storyline

09:28that happened after the only pay-per-view match between the two men as a singles match in this

09:35feud they got the pay-per-view match done they knew they were going on to the elimination chamber because

09:40that was announced literally the next night so and they knew that triple h and k weren't gonna have

09:45another one-on-one big pay-per-view blow off and so they've continued with the necrophilia in fact

09:53they would double down on the necrophilia and i truly hate that that is a sentence that ollie davis

09:57has paid me to say out loud next week on raw i'm gonna have a bit more of this

10:05ah next week on raw the icing on the cake then triple h brought out a videotape videotape was

10:11playing triple h dressed as kane cutting just a really porny promo on a mannequin dressed as a

10:19cheerleader talking sexy talk feeling her boobies removing her bra smelling her pants after removing

10:27them and saying i love the smell of formaldehyde in the morning and then just the mannequin in the

10:34coffin reaching behind her head pulling out a handful of pink gloop and saying i really did it

10:40i did it i screwed your brains out and then throwing the gloop at the camera after the pay-per-view

10:47match fun fact that segment was shot in an actual funeral home oh god it was shot in an actual funeral

10:56home that's according to bruce pritchard with an actual wake of an actual real-life human man

11:03happening in the room next door fun fact number two about this shoot triple h really wanted it to

11:10be more goofy and less like an actual porn film with it but vince really wanted it to be like a

11:17straight-faced attempt at necro porn so vince agreed to a compromise they would shoot it two ways they

11:22shoot it vince's way first and then they shoot it triple h's way the big goofy silly oh well this is

11:28obviously not real uh they shot at vince's way first and then he shot production down and didn't

11:33let them shoot it the other way and apparently just like a whole bunch of the production crew

11:37quit and they never saw them again so you know for all the times that you hated triple h during the

11:42reign of terror in the ruthless aggression era and you know he did some hateful things

11:47just take some comfort in the fact that he was also forced to

11:51a dead mannequin corpse in a way that he didn't want he was tricked into doing it

12:01then the next week triple h talked to a mannequin in the ring talked about kane's wiener hurricane

12:08showed up and showed footage of triple h having a surgical enema you know a bunch of comedy props

12:15are being removed from his cerebral ass asshole nice well why not bring out an old lady say that

12:21she's katie vick's mum she can cry a bit triple h kind of know lick her feet while she takes the dump

12:27into a crisp pack and then throws it a car because that's gross which means it's funny at this point

12:33i would like to address the rumors that vince mcmahon is a genius and assure you that they are baseless

12:39allegations so kane and triple h ended their feud with a casket match on raw of course and that's

12:45when sean michaels returned popping out the casket and helping kane win end a feud onto the chamber

12:51match where kane got eliminated third so yeah according to bruce pritchard the story was apparently

12:57going to be a sick boy scott vick coming to wwe to avenge his sister katie vick according to bruce

13:03pritchard scott just had some really really horrible dark matches on tv and on the road and we already

13:08teased the name katie vick so it's like okay let's change this and move over to kane it can be

13:13his girlfriend bruce pritchard went on to say and i think it's important to use his his real words

13:18here it was during a time vince was big into we need more soap opera we need more stories behind

13:23the characters so we started creating stories and it came to the story of what if kane accidentally

13:30didn't murder her but was driving and oh my god and then the drinking and it just grew it's

13:36another glowing example of don't suggest or say things in jest that you don't want to have show

13:42up on the show like with everything vince was the ultimate decision maker the one that went i love

13:49this so this is where we're going to go that being said here is another picture of vince mcmahon with

13:55the word genius on it here's the thing now there's a lot of outrage around the katie vick storyline but

14:00it's never it's never been something i find pearl clutchingly offensive like wwe's done some

14:05offensive but this is just rubbish it's just lowest common denominator gross unfunny that made

14:13everyone in the story look worse than they did before it's the kind of stuff that made you feel

14:18embarrassed to be a wrestling fan the kind of stuff that if someone came into the room while you were

14:23watching your favorite thing it would make you feel like a dumbass for liking something that otherwise

14:29brings you joy and that sucks and this storyline sucks the most this job sucks the most and everything

14:37sucks and none of us will find peace not even in death because you can never ever be sure that

14:43triple h won't come to your wake with that being said let me have a go where do you even start where

15:01do you even this so maybe the place to start is with this what do i have to keep like just booking a

15:11completely different feud between kane and triple h probably be better but it's not rebooking katie

15:17vick and that's the reason you're watching this so here are the three factors that i think i have

15:21to use for this book and katie vick has to be a featured character in the storyline a defining

15:26reason for being in the feud is that she is dead and triple h has to use this against k

15:31so first things first scrap the car accident because the image of kane in his spooky mask

15:41driving along in a little suzuki x90 after having rocked out in an american pie solo cup party is a

15:49ridiculously harmful thing to do to his character as an unstoppable rage monster of mystery and then

15:53the fact it's just car accident it's just sad and gross and sad to know thank you if katie vick has to

15:58be dead and i guess that she must let's at least have her death fit into this grand goth opera

16:05landscape that is kane's twisted and stupid backstory and i don't want to but ollie says

16:10he won't buy me board games anymore if i don't guys i really like board games do you know why

16:15i like board games so much it's because they're a hobby it isn't about dead women now well look to be

16:23fair let me just check boardgamegeek.com

16:34yeah almost none of them are about dead women so we start the night at summerslam 2002 bloody excellent

16:39pay-per-view by the way everything stays the same on that card except for one promo at the end which

16:45is brock lesnar celebrating winning the wwe undisputed championship and stephanie mcmahon

16:50revealing to eric bischoff to cap off their raw versus smackdown story that's been running the

16:54entire night that actually she's just signed brock to be the exclusive champion on smackdown there is

17:02no world champion on raw what you're going to do eric you've got just 24 hours to figure it out so

17:08the raw that takes place after that bloody excellent pay for you by the way emanated from

17:13madison square garden the night after summerslam was from msg the arena where wwe likes to make

17:18momentous happen and i have some ideas for some momentous eric bischoff comes out and this is the

17:23night that he reveals the wwe version of the big gold belt the world heavyweight championship if

17:28stephanie wants to combine titles and have an undisputed champion on her show then raw will do the

17:35same but better the top singles champion on raw the intercontinental champion kane versus a challenger

17:43of eric bischoff's choosing a man bred to be a world champion a man with an unmatched pedigree you

17:53might say triple h later in the show eric bischoff also informs kane that he doesn't play favorites

17:58with his talent can't be seen to give kane all the title opportunities if kane wants to be ic champion

18:04and tag team champion also world heavyweight champion i suppose you'll have to earn it puts

18:08kane and hurricane in a title match right before the main event for the tag straps on the line in

18:14that match which is against christian and chris jericho triple h interferes costs kane and hurricane

18:19the titles the main event of raw follows immediately afterwards live from madison square garden triple

18:25h versus kane unifying the world heavyweight championship and intercontinental championship

18:30for the majority of the match triple h is in control when the referee goes down triple h goes with

18:35the sledgehammer hits kane with it but kane sits up snatches the game into a chokeslam bang ref wakes

18:41up he pins the game one two three kane wins in a shock a big msg moment huge babyface pop for a new

18:50champion nice mirroring as well because the next time wwe will be in msg triple h will beat kane to get

18:55him to unmask it's like poetry it rhymes i mean next time they're in madison square garden for a role

19:02i mean because you know why see kane is a monster says triple h he can take beat down after beat down

19:08after beat down he is a big red machine he has almost supernatural reserves of strength but triple

19:13h tells the coach in a backstage interview that if he can't break kane's body he'll have to find

19:18something else to break because he's a cerebral assassin he'll break kane's mind and then his

19:23spirit and then the game will be the true world heavyweight champion so triple h goes into kane's medical

19:31files he seeks out his psych records and he finds something very interesting later that night on

19:37raw kane is wrestling a no holds barred handicap match against christian and chris jericho kane has

19:43both chrises in a choke hold ready for a double choke slam when triple h walks out with a folder in

19:49his hand he opens it and speaks into the mic katie vick and suddenly kane just stopped he stands there

19:58jericho and christian escape and just stand there looking at kane who just stands there

20:02motionless christian and chris jericho they pick up chairs and hit kane with a concerto he falls flat

20:09they cover him and win after the match triple h comes down to the ring picks up one of the chairs

20:14sits in it and says i know kane i know everything and next week the world's going to know it too

20:22that you kane are a murderer katie vick is now in the feud and she's dead we happy we all we're happy

20:30well done we're all we're all happy well done everyone good lord above so triple h versus kane

20:37for the world heavyweight title is set at unforgiven next week on raw hurricane is asked about these

20:42allegations he says he doesn't know anything about it the only thing he knows is that ever since triple

20:46h said those words last week kane hasn't spoken a single word he's been dead silent and it scares

20:54the hurricane there's something in kane's eyes that he hasn't seen before later in the show

20:59triple h comes down to the ring he's flanked by security guards just bloody loads of them he says

21:04ever since i found out just how much of a monster kane is i've taken extra measures to protect myself

21:12i went into kane's psych record i found out that after kane's family perished in that fire all those

21:17years ago kane's freakish burned body was taken to an asylum where his twisted mind would be safe from

21:25the good kind compassionate people of this world people like me people like me just doing my

21:33humanitarian duty to make sure that you people don't have a murderer as your world champion because

21:41that's what's written in here on these pages every day kane would write two words over the walls of

21:48his padded cell two words over and over and over the words katie vick and when the doctors asked him

21:57why all he said was i killed her i don't know how kane did it i don't know why but i will not stop until

22:06you all know the truth that kane is nothing then a no good boom kane's pyro explodes and the big red

22:13machine runs down to the ring that's what kane always did best cleans house security guards being

22:18thrown here there and everywhere getting booted in the face eating chokeslams and once it's just kane

22:24and triple h the game just says into the microphone katie vick kane stops triple h kicks him in the

22:31stomach delivers the pedigree picks up and holds aloft the world championship so the big question

22:37is the question everyone on raw is asking who was katie vick and no one knows hurricane is doing his

22:44investigative journalism you know because he has that journalist character but he can't find anything

22:49how kane is no longer speaking kane being silent by the way does a lot for this storyline because it

22:53dials the clock back to the time where he was first debuted as a mute it gives him a lot more power but

22:59also a lot more menace and also reminds everyone of kane's backstory setting fires being burned in

23:05fires being a hateful demon fixated on revenge it's possible that he did this also not knowing the

23:10actual details makes the whole murder thing still it's still a bit gross it's still gross fellas but

23:15also mysterious and unreal no one knows exactly what happened who she was it makes into a narrative puzzle

23:22makes it just unreal enough to be palatable it gives her the kind of mythical status that befits being

23:28part of kane's specific backstory now on the go home raw before unforgiven kane and triple h are

23:33again brawling in the ring when triple h is about to say the words into the microphone kane stops him

23:39delivers a choke slam and he grabs a chair from ringside he wraps it around triple h's throat and

23:45jumps on it from the top rope triple h's larynx is crushed until it heals he can no longer talk at

23:53unforgiven which now is a very aptly named pay-per-view triple h and kane wrestle a brutal

23:58match kane has triple h up ready for the tombstone when out comes rick flair who shouts into the

24:05microphone katie that's my best rick flair impression sorry kane stops in his tracks triple

24:13h falls from his arms triple h delivers the pedigree pins kane one two three triple h is the new world

24:18heavyweight champion also unforgiven by the way brock lesnar doesn't wrestle the undertaker take

24:22us steal a heel by this point wrestling a baby face like edge in the mid cards and not getting

24:28involved in the whole un-american stuff instead brock lesnar wrestles hulk hogan not on a random

24:34smackdown but on a major stage at unforgiven properly establishing brock as the next unstoppable

24:40big thing submitting hulk hogan on pay-per-view rick flair on raw reveals why he helped triple h this

24:46belt this big gold belt means more to me than any of you people could ever know and i could not

24:51forgive myself if it's been one more day around the waist of a monster triple h he's a real world's

24:57champion he reminds rick of a young rick flair the class the intelligence the breeding that the title

25:02deserves kane of course comes into clean house grabs triple h rick flair hits kane with a low blow

25:07triple h knocks kane down but the monster sits up katie vick one more time rick flair says into a live

25:12mic and kane is stopped in his tracks triple h grabs a sledgehammer and it's about to smash kane

25:18in the head with it but that's when undertaker's music hits and he runs down to save his brother

25:23undertaker turns face here this is where he turns face clears the ring of the villains and kneels in

25:29front of his brother sat there in his trance slowly kane looks undertaker undertaker extends his hand

25:38kane takes it and taker pulls him to his feet the brothers of destruction are on the same page now

25:45at the same time over on smackdown taker enters into a feud with brock lesnar and both brands start

25:49to become a little mingle together for one big show taker is on raw trying to help his brother

25:54overcome his personal demons while kane makes appearances on smackdown evening the odds against

26:00brock lesnar's douchebaggery vignettes air of kane and taker standing in a graveyard taker trying to

26:07remind kane of who he is about the monster the monster you are kane that could be your strength

26:13the same things that crippled you as a child the same things that made you weak and angry and afraid

26:18those are the things that can make you strong now because taker says because kane i know you're

26:26innocent kane just says nothing this all leads to no mercy a blockbuster main event the brothers of

26:33destruction versus triple h and brock lesnar if the brothers win kane becomes world heavyweight

26:39champion undertaker becomes wwe champion during the match the brothers of destruction hit the two world

26:45champs with dual choke slams but before they can make the cover out comes a returning paul bearer paul

26:51bearer reveals he's been lying to you kane he's been lying to you kane turns around and is scooped up

27:02by undertaker who drops kane with a tombstone undertaker walks away racked with guilt and pain brock covers

27:11kane one two three the champs retain their titles now on raw paul bearer reveals that katie bick

27:17has never been real undertaker made the whole thing up to control his brother when they were

27:25kids undertaker would tell kane over and over again when he visited him in the asylum you killed her

27:30kane you killed her to try and convince kane that kane had been the one to set the fire that killed

27:38their parents all those years ago when taker was at peak of villain he manipulated kane like kane and

27:43taker's parents were evil but undertaker made up a little girl called katie vick who was in that fire

27:50that she died that kane killed her to remind kane that he was the monster to keep him quiet subdued

27:58guilty locked inside his own mind even now those words hold a terrible power over kane and there's

28:04nothing undertaker can do to atone for that kind of sin which leads to undertaker versus kane a survivor

28:11series 2002 with rick flair replacing kane inside the elimination chamber match to provide backup and

28:16a numbers advantage to triple h stack the deck against everyone else which makes it even better

28:21when sean michaels wins her right in real life taker was written off tv just before survivor series in

28:26attack by big show but in this reality he waits a few more weeks and it's written off here kane and taker

28:32are set to battle each other all over madison square gun which is where survivor series 2002 emanated from

28:37which is where kane won the world heavyweight championship all those months ago when this

28:42storyline began before the match undertaker talks backstage about how he can't take back all the

28:49terrible things he's done in his life he's done many terrible things he's a murderer after all he's

28:54sorry for what he's done but if kane can't shake the demons of his past if kane refuses to be strong if

29:03he lets himself be weakened like an ailing pet then the dead man will have no choice but to put him

29:10down for good undertaker and kane go to war like they have done several times before but this time

29:16undertaker has a secret weapon towards the end of the match undertaker who's been battered to hell

29:22takes up a microphone and stands face to face with kane he shouts katie vick and kane freezes standing

29:29still like a zombie taker punches kane in the face and he just stands there punches kane in the face

29:37one more time he goes for a third punch and kane catches the undertaker's hand and kane slowly

29:44shakes his head scoops undertaker up and hits him with the tombstone then another

29:51and then another after three tombstones he pins undertaker one two three finally kane has banished

29:59the spectre hanging over him the spectre of katie vick and that oh jesus christ that

30:08is how i would book the katie vick storyline sorry that she wasn't real in the end i guess

30:15i'm sorry that she wasn't a real dead girl jesus christ i've got nothing left uh if you would like

30:21to see other booking videos please check them out i've done some love i've done one on kofi mania

30:26that was a really good one jinder mahall it's wwe champion that was another one that forced me to

30:31get through a couple of a couple of dramas of this anyway check out the other fancy booking videos we

30:37got on the channel let me know in the comments what other things you would like me to fantasy book we'll

30:41see you next month and never forget jam that jam oh my god

30:54oh my god

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