00:00You know what the worst part about growing up in Berlin is?
00:03It's not worth going anywhere else.
00:06I'm already in the coolest city on the planet.
00:08Where am I supposed to go?
00:11What?
00:12Three euro for a ticket?
00:14Last month it was 280.
00:16That's the second increase this year.
00:18They're basically asking me to write illegal.
00:20You know what we have here in Berlin?
00:22An epidemic.
00:23An epidemic of hipsters.
00:25They're fucking everywhere.
00:27Even before Guy is becoming a capitalist pick.
00:30With their stupid vegan food.
00:32Their fancy bars.
00:34Drinking their vegan whiskey sour that tastes like cat piss.
00:38I can't stand it anymore.
00:40I do a lot for the homeless people here.
00:42I donate every day.
00:47There.
00:48Another 8 cent.
00:50You know what the second worst thing about Berlin is?
00:54Tourists.
00:55They're like the pest.
00:57And that's 8 bottles a day.
00:59You calculate.
01:00Can't even walk down the street in peace anymore.
01:03Always.
01:04Excuse me.
01:05Can you tell me where the fancy storm is?
01:08And is this outfit good for Berlin?
01:16Another donation.
01:17Oh.
01:18Don't get me started on these people who just moved here.
01:21From the Bavarian or Swabian hinterland.
01:23They put in their bio.
01:25Oh.
01:26Berlin girl.
01:27Real Berlin guy.
01:33Posting pictures.
01:34With the black clothing.
01:36Thinking they're cool.
01:37Haven't even taken a shit on the street here.
01:42This is the best kebab in Berlin.
01:45It used to be a secret.
01:47But because of some stupid blogger.
01:49I have to wait for one hour in line now.
01:52Fucking tourists.
01:53Theory.
01:55I think it is.
01:56Theory.
01:57You know I wear black.
01:58Not because I want to be cool.
02:00It's because I hate life.
02:02I'm black outside.
02:04I'm black from the inside.
02:06Alright.
02:07I'm going to teach you how to become part of a cool gang.
02:11It's in the sunglasses.
02:13You wear them like that.
02:14Not like that.
02:16That's nerd style.
02:21What is there to like?
02:23Look around you.
02:24Life sucks, okay?
02:26Cool.
02:27Not cool.
02:28Cool.
02:29Not cool.
02:30Cool.
02:30Nerd.
02:31There.
02:32Another stupid hipster shop.
02:34I'm going to break them all.
02:36This bridge right here.
02:37This bridge right here.
02:37Is the best place for a sunset in Berlin.
02:41You won't find a better view.
02:46If I see a sway bean.
02:48I swear.
02:49Fucking tuken tuken rich kids.
02:52They are even worse than tourists.
02:54Isn't it beautiful?
02:58Oh no.
02:59Another hipster bar.
03:00Are you kidding me?
03:02Einhornland.
03:04This makes me so mad.
03:06And the worst thing is.
03:08People think this kind of bar.
03:10Is the real Berlin bar.
03:12You know.
03:15With the vintage furniture.
03:18The glitter.
03:20That's not a real Berlin bar.
03:21A real Berlin bar.
03:23Is somewhere where you can watch football.
03:26You know.
03:26Play some dart.
03:27Eh.
03:28Maybe some billiard.
03:30This.
03:31This is wretched.
03:32Uh.
03:32Wait a second.
03:33I still need that.
03:34Don't want people thinking I want the lottery.
03:36The real Berlin.
03:37You won't find inside the ring.
03:39No no.
03:40That's a hipster infested hell hole.
03:42A good place to party in Berlin.
03:45There is none.
03:46Since 2003 it's gone full retard.
03:49Marzahn.
03:50That's a real district with real people.
03:54Five hour long queues.
03:55To party with tourists and hipsters.
03:57The best parties.
03:58Are now in my studio.
04:00I'm telling you.
04:02You know what they're building there.
04:04An Amazon headquarter.
04:07They're building a skyscraper.
04:09For Amazon.
04:10In the heart of Freestyle.
04:12This used to be punk land.
04:14I heard beer pong.
04:15Is the new cool game to play.
04:20This game sucks.
04:22Where's the leftist people.
04:23With them a lot of cocktails.
04:24If you need them.
04:26Everything was better.
04:27Before the wall came down.
04:32I'm too generous.
