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A youngster on his way to a health resort job offers his older boarding house mate a ride along with him, unaware that the loud talking slippery character is a crook.
#romance #crime #comedy #B&W #mystery

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🎈
Fun
Transcript
00:00:00The End
00:02:41Now, permit me just a woman.
00:02:43That's the girl.
00:02:44You know, you have more than the touch of an old master about you.
00:02:48Yes, I'm none of that.
00:02:49I've come for my money.
00:02:50And it becomes you, Madam Partridge.
00:02:52Oh, and I've got the eyes of a dove and the nose of a Bavarian bluebird.
00:02:57I want my money.
00:03:00Well, sorry.
00:03:02To what extent am I in your debt, Madam Buncher?
00:03:05Partridge.
00:03:06I'm sorry, Partridge.
00:03:07The sum is $14.
00:03:09$14.
00:03:11$14.
00:03:11It's a triple.
00:03:12A triple.
00:03:13That doesn't mean this.
00:03:15Permit me to reimburse you immediately.
00:03:20I, uh...
00:03:23Well, I'm afraid that they'll last on both of us.
00:03:27However, the dividends of my diamond mines must fail you.
00:03:30I'll expect it tomorrow.
00:03:31Oh, and I expect my rent tonight.
00:03:34Tonight.
00:03:37Very well.
00:03:38You will have it tonight.
00:03:41Oh, well, I'm...
00:03:42$14 by 8 o'clock.
00:03:45Or you'll be waiting for those dividends in the gut.
00:03:49The eyes of a dove and the nose of a Bavarian bluebird.
00:03:54Oh, mongoose.
00:03:58Oh.
00:04:14I can do everything athletic trainers should.
00:04:17Tennis, golf, swim.
00:04:19Besides winning the decathlon prize, I played three years of football.
00:04:22Can you cook?
00:04:23Of course not.
00:04:25You can't play all-American football and have much time left for making fun.
00:04:30Why?
00:04:30We advertise for an athletic trainer and a pantry boy.
00:04:34Trainer was hired an hour ago.
00:04:36The pantry job is yours for the action.
00:04:38Well, I'm not asking.
00:04:39After four years of college,
00:04:41I can see now that I should have taken up cooking instead of engineering.
00:04:45Here's a ticket to Jasper Junction, if you're interested.
00:04:48One thing a college education does for you,
00:04:50you can get a pantry boy's job with practically no experience.
00:05:04How much does it pay?
00:05:06Twenty dollars a week in board.
00:05:07And this is a great opportunity, young man.
00:05:09I know, I know.
00:05:10Someday I can get to be dormant.
00:05:12I'm not looking for any advancement except, uh,
00:05:16some advanced pay.
00:05:17You'll get that.
00:05:18After you've worked a week.
00:05:20Your train leaves tomorrow morning.
00:05:22Report it out to Jasper when you arrive.
00:05:24Uh, here's a note of introduction.
00:05:26Here you are.
00:05:26Thanks.
00:05:28Don't lose it.
00:05:30Lose it?
00:05:31I'll memorize it.
00:05:40Well, I win two bucks.
00:05:42What's happened?
00:05:43Oh, I bet the janitor two bucks to the elevator would get stuck today and...
00:05:47But I've got to get out of here.
00:05:48Well, the only way is to lift you out.
00:05:50Is that okay?
00:05:51Well, how do we do it?
00:06:04Would you mind helping me?
00:06:05What's the matter?
00:06:06The elevator's stuck?
00:06:07Oh, no.
00:06:08I ask a boy to stop the car.
00:06:09I always get out this way.
00:06:18Well, there you are.
00:06:23Why, you're Larry Payne.
00:06:25Yeah, I have been for a long, long time.
00:06:27I never met you.
00:06:28Oh, I never met you either, but...
00:06:30I saw you play that game against Columbia.
00:06:33And I've seen you a lot of times on the campus.
00:06:35You mean to tell me that we went to the same college and I never met you?
00:06:40It's getting to be more and more of a waste of time.
00:06:43What's your name?
00:06:44Barbara Tanner.
00:06:46Barbara Tanner.
00:06:48Say, your father isn't Simeon Tanner, the oil king.
00:06:51He is.
00:06:52Hey, I thought you was in a hurry.
00:06:56Oh, there you are.
00:06:58Lucky I caught you.
00:06:59You forgot your railroad ticket.
00:07:01Thanks.
00:07:01Don't forget to make that train in the morning.
00:07:0311.27.
00:07:04And when you get there, you know, they'll report a...
00:07:05I'll see Dr. Jasser.
00:07:07Uh-huh.
00:07:07Hold on.
00:07:09Oh, are you in a health department?
00:07:10Well, in a way.
00:07:12That's just the sort of thing you're so good at in school.
00:07:15Health and, uh...
00:07:17Things like that.
00:07:18Isn't that right, though?
00:07:20It must be fun being the manager of a health farm.
00:07:23Oh, I'm not the manager.
00:07:24I'm just, uh...
00:07:25Well, uh...
00:07:25Interested in a business way, that's all.
00:07:28Uh...
00:07:29Well...
00:07:30Goodbye.
00:07:31Goodbye.
00:07:34Look at your thumb.
00:07:36You've heard it.
00:07:37So I have.
00:07:38Well, we'll have to fix that right now.
00:07:42Does it hurt, Mark?
00:07:44I can hardly stand it.
00:07:46Nearly off.
00:07:48I think we can save it.
00:07:50Thanks.
00:07:52You're welcome.
00:07:54Well...
00:07:55Goodbye.
00:07:56Goodbye.
00:08:10Goodbye.
00:08:11Oh, Barbara.
00:08:12Hello, Dr. White.
00:08:14Where's Barbara?
00:08:16He's inside.
00:08:17Treating himself to bicarbative soda.
00:08:20Barbara?
00:08:21Your father's no more ill than I am.
00:08:24I'm going to tell him.
00:08:25Oh, don't do that. You know he wouldn't pay any attention to you.
00:08:29He'd only hunt up some quack doctor who would agree with him and charge him a lot of money.
00:08:32Perhaps you're right.
00:08:34I've an idea, doctor.
00:08:36I think father should be sent to the Jasper Health Farm.
00:08:39The Jasper? What do you know about it?
00:08:42Nothing. Only a very good friend of mine owns an interest in it.
00:08:47A very good friend. Is he a he?
00:08:52He's a he, all right.
00:08:55Yeah, you thought you ought to be sent along with your father to take care of it.
00:08:59It's a plot, that's what it is.
00:09:01Oh, doctor.
00:09:02Well, sir, those doctors had me under observation for 14 months, and they couldn't find a thing wrong with me.
00:09:07So it's what they know about it.
00:09:09Amazing.
00:09:09Well, I'm a sick man, and no doctor's going to tell me any different.
00:09:13I went...
00:09:13Hello. You alone?
00:09:15Of course.
00:09:16Well, where's Morris?
00:09:17I don't know.
00:09:18Well, if you don't, who should?
00:09:20You're certainly a cross old man today.
00:09:22Oh, I can't help it. I'm sick.
00:09:24What do you think?
00:09:25What?
00:09:26Dr. White is going to send you to a health farm.
00:09:28I can't go. I told you I was sick.
00:09:30That's why you're going to the Jasper Health Farm. They cure you.
00:09:33Is that so, doc? Do I have to go to this place?
00:09:37Well...
00:09:38It'll be just the thing for you.
00:09:40Here, where are you going?
00:09:43Shopping.
00:09:44I haven't a thing to wear up there.
00:09:46Up there?
00:09:47Well, what are you coming along for?
00:09:48Well, uh...
00:09:50Doctor...
00:09:51I thought it'd be a good thing for Barbara to go along.
00:09:53Send me a nerve.
00:09:55Hey!
00:09:56How about Horace?
00:09:58You have to go off for that again.
00:09:59Well, he's coming here.
00:10:00Should be here now.
00:10:02Horace isn't coming after me.
00:10:03You know, Horace isn't in love with me.
00:10:05Goodbye.
00:10:08What a girl!
00:10:09I couldn't get along without her.
00:10:11No one would guess at the way you abused her.
00:10:13Abused?
00:10:13Why, she loved it.
00:10:17Well, Horace.
00:10:19Hello.
00:10:20Did you see Barbara?
00:10:21Oh, yes. I saw Barbara in the hall.
00:10:23Well, what did she say?
00:10:24Hello.
00:10:25Well, what did you say?
00:10:28Hello.
00:10:46Hey, you. What?
00:10:49You want a light?
00:10:50Yeah.
00:10:58Thanks.
00:10:59All right.
00:11:19Hey, kid.
00:11:21Come here.
00:11:23Stick him up.
00:11:24Give me that dough.
00:11:25What dough?
00:11:26The dough you got in that hawk shop.
00:11:27I haven't got any dough.
00:11:28Come on, give me that dough.
00:11:29All right.
00:11:36What's going on here?
00:11:38Why, this fella...
00:11:43He's a friend of mine.
00:11:45He fell.
00:11:46Yeah?
00:11:47Yeah.
00:11:47He was walking with me and he...
00:11:49He tripped.
00:11:51He's got a bad knee at this.
00:11:53Collapse.
00:11:53Oh!
00:11:56Get him out of here, then.
00:11:58You bet.
00:11:58Whoa.
00:12:00Oh.
00:12:01Hey.
00:12:01There he goes, there he goes.
00:12:03There he goes.
00:12:05Oh.
00:12:15Oh, there he goes, there he goes.
00:12:18Oh.
00:12:19Yeah.
00:12:41Now, what's the big idea?
00:12:43Where am I?
00:12:45Lucky you're not in the mood, girl.
00:12:48Who are you?
00:12:49You know who I am.
00:12:51I'm the guy you try to hold up.
00:12:53Hey, you pulled a gun on me.
00:12:55I?
00:12:56Gun?
00:12:56Are you?
00:12:57Yes, on me.
00:12:58Here it is.
00:13:00Is this it?
00:13:01Give me that.
00:13:02Oh, I recall the incident.
00:13:05Say, you struck me.
00:13:06I certainly did.
00:13:07I socked you.
00:13:08Yeah, with that sock on the jaw.
00:13:10I want to thank you.
00:13:12I want to thank you again and again.
00:13:14Hey, what's eating you?
00:13:15Let me tell you a story.
00:13:18Many years ago, I was a boy.
00:13:21I had an uncle.
00:13:22Oh, a worthless character.
00:13:24And one day, he biffed me on the jaw.
00:13:27You probably do, sir.
00:13:28Well, that's a point of no importance.
00:13:30Now, the result of that blow was to change my life entirely.
00:13:34I became a septomaniac.
00:13:35I stole everything I could lay my hands on.
00:13:38Oh, my life was a thing of horror.
00:13:41My leg gave away on me.
00:13:43And then I met you.
00:13:45Stop.
00:13:46You're breaking my heart.
00:13:47Just on the level.
00:13:47I'm not kidding.
00:13:48When you hit me in the jaw a while ago, you hit me exactly where my uncle did.
00:13:52And you cured me.
00:13:54Now, I'm an honest man.
00:13:57I'm glad I made you see the light.
00:13:59Yeah.
00:13:59You did?
00:14:01But killed me.
00:14:03Why did you do it?
00:14:05Do what?
00:14:06Bring me here.
00:14:07You could have easily told me you opened that top when I'd have gone up the river for a stretch.
00:14:11That's right.
00:14:11But I didn't.
00:14:13You know, that's the first time anybody's done something nice like that to me.
00:14:18You've done me a great favor.
00:14:20And a Wilson who never forgets.
00:14:23Oh, shucks.
00:14:24I...
00:14:27Well, young man.
00:14:28Here's your $14.
00:14:30Now I want my trunk.
00:14:31Why, of course, Mr. Bain.
00:14:33I'll have it pent up in the morning.
00:14:38Hello.
00:14:40Well, how about you?
00:14:42Have those Arabian oil wells of yours finally paid a dividend?
00:14:47Mrs. Ego is having a joke.
00:14:50To have a girl.
00:14:51There's not a nice time to come when I'm enjoying the hospitality of my dear friend, Mr.
00:14:55Mr. Bain.
00:14:55Mr. Bain.
00:14:57If you wish to discuss financial matters with me, madame, you can come and visit with me in my chamber.
00:15:04Where am I?
00:15:05I say, if you wish to talk money matters, see me in my room.
00:15:09There it goes.
00:15:11Careful.
00:15:14Oh, dear.
00:15:15Oh.
00:15:16Oh.
00:15:17Oh.
00:15:35I don't like this monkey business.
00:15:37Ah.
00:15:38Madam Canary.
00:15:39You, uh, you wish to see me?
00:15:41Hmm?
00:15:41Say, what are you, a lunatic?
00:15:44I want my money.
00:15:45That's what I want.
00:15:46Oh, money.
00:15:46Money.
00:15:47Yes, yes.
00:15:47Let me see.
00:15:48Now, how, uh, how much was that?
00:15:50It was, and still is, $14.
00:15:53$14.
00:15:53Oh, strifal.
00:15:54You know, on our southern plantation where I spent my youth, we kipped slaves, $14.
00:16:00$14.
00:16:00Ha, ha, $14.
00:16:02Yes, uh, your money, madame.
00:16:04And now I must, uh, bid you goodnight.
00:16:07I'm a little weary from the affairs of the day, and I would to sleep.
00:16:10I would to sleep.
00:16:11I've got to ask you for your room.
00:16:13I can't go through all this every time I want to collect my rent.
00:16:17And anyhow, I have my suspicions of you.
00:16:20Suspicions?
00:16:20Sleep all day and out all night.
00:16:23Stop, madam.
00:16:24You go too far.
00:16:25I shall leave your caravansary in the morning.
00:16:27And very glad to sweep the dust for my feet.
00:16:33Oh, you, you old humbug.
00:16:48Well, did you pay the landlady what you ordered?
00:16:50Well, I, I, I reimbursed her, if that's what you mean.
00:16:53I happen to have $14 in the jeans.
00:16:56Oh, you did?
00:16:57Yeah.
00:16:59That was, uh, the idea.
00:17:00Where are you going from here?
00:17:02Jasper Johnson.
00:17:03Hmm?
00:17:03Jasper Health Farm.
00:17:04Mm-hmm.
00:17:05What for?
00:17:07Pantry boy.
00:17:07Pantry boy.
00:17:08You?
00:17:09Ah, behave yourself.
00:17:10No kidding.
00:17:11Hmm.
00:17:11It was just a year and ten months ago that my father doubted my ability to get along without
00:17:15his money.
00:17:16I see.
00:17:16In fact, he said I'd starve without it.
00:17:18And a panty boy doesn't starve.
00:17:20I make your point.
00:17:21I told him I wouldn't touch a nickel of it for two years.
00:17:23I got two months to go.
00:17:25Surely you can find something better than Chamber May do.
00:17:28I, for instance.
00:17:30Well, for instance.
00:17:32Listen, you know, I like you.
00:17:34I like you because you...
00:17:35I know, I know, because I reminded your uncle.
00:17:37No, I like you.
00:17:38Well, some people like spinach.
00:17:41Ah, no, I'm sorry.
00:17:42Now, listen, I'm leaving for Detroit tomorrow morning.
00:17:45Why don't you join me?
00:17:46And once we hit Detroit, say, buddy, they'll never forget it.
00:17:50Say, that's nice of you.
00:17:51Well, what do you say?
00:17:52Well, I can't.
00:17:54Why not?
00:17:55I've got to go to Jasper.
00:17:56Why?
00:17:57Because I promised.
00:17:58Oh, fuck.
00:17:59Okay.
00:18:00Uh-oh.
00:18:00We're going to prove it.
00:18:02Young man, are you sure you gave me your rent money?
00:18:05Certainly.
00:18:05Why?
00:18:05Oh, yes.
00:18:07I witnessed the transaction.
00:18:08No high-handed methods here now.
00:18:10Well, all I can say is it's very funny.
00:18:13Very funny.
00:18:14What's funny?
00:18:15Well, you gave me $14, and Mr. Wilson gave me $14.
00:18:19Great.
00:18:19And all I have is $14.
00:18:22You must brush up on your mathematics.
00:18:25Don't you feel me what to brush up on?
00:18:28I don't care.
00:18:29Now, you're in.
00:18:32Ah, an intemperate woman.
00:18:34No one will ever love her.
00:19:18Ah, there you are, boy.
00:19:19Ah, ha, ha.
00:19:20Say.
00:19:21Ah, an intemperate, monsieur.
00:19:22A Roman expression meaning park the body.
00:19:26Hop in, kid.
00:19:27There you are.
00:19:29Ah-ha.
00:19:30Ah, where'd you get the car?
00:19:32Ah, I rented it.
00:19:34Going to use it to drive down to the station.
00:19:36What are you going to do with it then?
00:19:37Ah, park it.
00:19:39Oh, it'll be picked up.
00:19:41Don't worry.
00:19:44Oh, say, by the way,
00:19:46you're going to have the pleasure of my company on the train
00:19:48as far as Jasper Junction.
00:19:50Yeah?
00:19:50Yeah.
00:19:50You see, the train to Detroit stops there.
00:19:53Oh, that's well.
00:19:54Isn't that good?
00:19:55Let me see.
00:19:56Ah, well, that's it.
00:19:59There you got it.
00:20:01There we are.
00:20:04Whoop.
00:20:04A little jerk.
00:20:06Ah, no, it's a roaster.
00:20:08Let me see now.
00:20:10Now we're all right.
00:20:23Oh, yeah, that's silly.
00:20:26I've got to put her in gear.
00:20:29Well, these new cars are confusing.
00:20:32There we are.
00:20:39We must release the emergency.
00:20:43That's the stuff.
00:20:44There we are.
00:20:45That's the stuff.
00:20:47There we are.
00:20:49Stanley.
00:20:50Oh, say, by the way,
00:20:51I've got a drop at the bank down there.
00:20:54Don't mind, do you?
00:20:54No, no.
00:20:55This transaction, I transfer up some money.
00:20:59Okay.
00:21:00Okay.
00:21:00Okay.
00:21:01Okay.
00:21:16Hey, boy, what a driver you are.
00:21:18Yeah, I never had a lesson in my life either.
00:21:24Now, this is a no-parking zone, huh?
00:21:26Well, looks as if we'll have to willfully violate the law.
00:21:39Hey, Larry, get over here behind the wheel.
00:21:41So if a cop comes along, you can pull out right away.
00:21:44All right.
00:21:45Hurry up.
00:21:45We don't want a ticket.
00:21:46All right.
00:21:47I'll tell you again.
00:21:49Keep the motor running, will you?
00:21:51All right, only hurry.
00:21:52I will.
00:22:07Move over, come on.
00:22:08Step on it.
00:22:10Hurry up, Liker.
00:22:11We missed that train.
00:22:12Roger.
00:22:26All right.
00:22:27Well, you're right here in the car.
00:22:28Then what's that way?
00:22:31Hurry up, Jim.
00:22:32No, no, no.
00:22:39Why, hello.
00:22:41Hello.
00:22:42Thank you for seeing you here.
00:22:48This is certainly a lucky break for Larry.
00:22:55Well, if Larry is through with his little assistant, I'll brew some tea, if you'd like.
00:23:00Oh, pardon me, Mr. Cannon.
00:23:01This is a friend of mine, Mr. Wilson.
00:23:03Hi.
00:23:04How do you do?
00:23:04How do you do?
00:23:05I'm charmed beyond expression, I'm sure.
00:23:07How do you do?
00:23:09Yes, I've been traveling all...
00:23:11I was...
00:23:12Well, pardon me if I seem to smoke.
00:23:22This is quite a coincidence, isn't it?
00:23:24Yes, isn't it?
00:23:26Not even bread.
00:23:28I hate bread.
00:23:37Oh, pardon me.
00:23:39I'm sorry.
00:23:39I'm...
00:23:39I'm...
00:23:40Pull in your puppies.
00:23:42They're all over the place.
00:23:47I'm sorry.
00:23:48I'm sorry.
00:23:49I'm sorry.
00:23:51That's all right.
00:23:57Boy, what a drink.
00:24:06Oh, pardon me.
00:24:07Will you, uh...
00:24:08Have a cigar?
00:24:09Thanks.
00:24:10And you, sir?
00:24:11No.
00:24:11All right.
00:24:12Well, I could have sworn I'd just filled my pocket.
00:24:14That's all.
00:24:15Well, here today.
00:24:16Come on tomorrow.
00:24:17That's right.
00:24:18Well, say, this is...
00:24:19This is the same brand that I smoke.
00:24:21That's all.
00:24:21Well, smoke it as if it were your own.
00:24:24Yeah.
00:24:25We hope it will light.
00:24:26Thanks.
00:24:28Does it taste like your own?
00:24:29Oh, rigid.
00:24:31Good.
00:24:32We can get accustomed to them.
00:24:33Yeah.
00:24:34Say, my name's Tanner.
00:24:35Simeon Tanner.
00:24:36My name's Wilson.
00:24:38James Wilson.
00:24:39Yeah.
00:24:39This fellow's named Baldwin.
00:24:42Horace Baldwin.
00:24:43Huh?
00:24:43How do you do, sir?
00:24:44Hello.
00:24:46Speed king.
00:24:49He's one of those go-getter fellas.
00:24:51Ha, ha, ha.
00:24:52Ticket?
00:24:53Uh.
00:24:54Uh.
00:24:55Uh.
00:24:55Ticket.
00:25:01Oh, you have the ticket for the young lady in the parking lot, sir?
00:25:03Yes, sir.
00:25:04Three of them all together.
00:25:15Well, there's only two tickets here.
00:25:17There are three there.
00:25:18I just counted.
00:25:18Look, look, look.
00:25:19He's right.
00:25:20There's only two.
00:25:20Only two.
00:25:21Got them again.
00:25:22Well, I'll be hog-swiggled for a minute.
00:25:24Am I mad?
00:25:25Oh.
00:25:26No cigars.
00:25:27Cigars.
00:25:27No ticket.
00:25:28And no ticket.
00:25:30Come, come, come.
00:25:31How much is the fare?
00:25:32Five dollars.
00:25:33It's too much robbery.
00:25:34Yeah.
00:25:35It's too much.
00:25:36Here it is.
00:25:38That's your ticket.
00:25:39Why, yes.
00:25:40Here it is, warden.
00:25:41I mean, uh, conductor.
00:25:43A train telegram, Sam.
00:25:52Well, what do you know about that?
00:25:54And in broad daylight, they did the same thing here two years ago.
00:25:59I recall that.
00:26:28Pardon me.
00:26:30What's the next stop?
00:26:32Jasper Junction.
00:26:36Jasper Junction, huh?
00:26:37That's where we get off.
00:26:39That's where I get off.
00:26:42Did you go to all the games?
00:26:43Everywhere.
00:26:45You wish we'd have known it.
00:26:48As if that would have helped.
00:26:50It would have helped plenty.
00:26:58You know, I don't like this at all.
00:27:00What?
00:27:01Seeing you for five minutes at a time and then trust to luck.
00:27:05Well, perhaps you'd rather not see me at all.
00:27:08Oh, it isn't that.
00:27:12Where are you bound?
00:27:15Jasper Junction.
00:27:16Jasper Junction?
00:27:19Yes, and we're going to your health farm.
00:27:21Oh.
00:27:24The prize?
00:27:25And how?
00:27:29Oh, just because we're friends, don't think we're going to expect any special service.
00:27:33I'll do the best I can.
00:27:36Ow!
00:27:37What happened?
00:27:38Look.
00:27:40That same poor thumb.
00:27:46Use this.
00:27:57Oh, Dad, this is Mr. Payne, who owns the Jasper Health Farm.
00:28:01How are you?
00:28:02How do you do?
00:28:04This fellow's name is Baldwin.
00:28:05Horace Baldwin.
00:28:07How are you?
00:28:08Hello.
00:28:10Well, isn't it nice we're all going to the same place?
00:28:12Sure is.
00:28:14If you'll excuse me, I'll join my friend in the smoke.
00:28:26I'll go along, Mr. Rupp.
00:28:27Say, don't ever do that again, will you?
00:28:29Ah, move over.
00:28:31What's the matter with you, glue?
00:28:34Jim, I've changed my mind.
00:28:35I'm going to Detroit with you.
00:28:37Well, on the contrary.
00:28:39I'm getting off the Jasper Junction with you.
00:28:41Oh, I have my reasons.
00:28:44The tenor in there think that I own a health farm.
00:28:46Sorry, I'm sorry, but we're going to the Jasper Farm together.
00:28:50Why?
00:28:50Why?
00:28:51Oh, now, you're on a bound.
00:28:55You've pledged your work.
00:28:56And I'm going to see that you keep it.
00:28:58But what about her?
00:28:59If you go to Detroit, you won't be able to see her at all.
00:29:03Here you can.
00:29:04The difficulties are real.
00:29:05But if she finds out, I'm a pantry boy.
00:29:07Give her a piece of pie.
00:29:08Oh.
00:29:10Oh, I'm only kidding.
00:29:11You know that.
00:29:12Listen to me.
00:29:13I've traveled far and seen much.
00:29:16Now, you trust your Uncle James.
00:29:20Here.
00:29:22Have a cigar.
00:29:24They're terrible.
00:29:38You take the other in the car, please.
00:29:39All right.
00:29:47Can you identify yourself?
00:29:49My name's Tanner.
00:29:50Simeon Tanner.
00:29:51This is my daughter, and this is a fellow named Baldwin.
00:29:53Horace Baldwin.
00:29:54Never mind, Mr. Tanner.
00:29:55I know you.
00:29:56I guess everybody else does.
00:29:57Okay.
00:29:59Okay.
00:30:00Okay.
00:30:02Okay.
00:30:03Okay.
00:30:04Okay.
00:30:05Okay.
00:30:06Okay.
00:30:07Okay.
00:30:07Okay.
00:30:17Can you identify yourself?
00:30:19Yes.
00:30:19My name's Lawrence Payne.
00:30:21I'm going to work at the Jasper Health Farm.
00:30:23Any identification?
00:30:24Yes.
00:30:24I've got a letter of introduction.
00:30:31Oh.
00:30:31Thank you, boy.
00:30:33Okay.
00:30:37Can you identify yourself?
00:30:39Oh, I'm with him.
00:30:40Come on, son.
00:30:40That doesn't mean a thing.
00:30:42Have you any identification?
00:30:44Well, I have a strobe mark on my left hip.
00:30:46That's enough.
00:30:46Come on, mate.
00:30:47Now, if you can't identify yourself, you'll have to get back on the train.
00:30:50I know, but...
00:30:51Get back on the train.
00:30:52Oh.
00:30:52Well, all right.
00:30:55Well, I'll go on to Detroit.
00:30:57So long, Jim.
00:30:58Here again, Larry boy.
00:30:59There.
00:30:59Take care, chef, son.
00:31:00Bye.
00:31:01Bye-bye.
00:31:05Out of the way there, boy.
00:31:07Out of the way there.
00:31:08Can you identify yourself?
00:31:10Oh, certainly.
00:31:11Right here.
00:31:13Here you are.
00:31:19Fancy boy.
00:31:20Fancy boy, yes.
00:31:22Okay.
00:31:23Well, thank you all so much.
00:31:25Hey.
00:31:26Here.
00:31:26Hey.
00:31:27You forgot your suitcase.
00:31:29Oh.
00:31:30Thanks.
00:31:31My overnight bag.
00:31:42I did have a letter of introduction to Dr. Jaster, but I haven't been able to find it.
00:31:46And I'm sorry if you can't locate it.
00:31:49I'll take it.
00:31:49Here.
00:31:56Jim.
00:31:58I thought you got back on the train.
00:32:00Oh, boy.
00:32:00The old train wasn't the same without you.
00:32:02Oh, by the way.
00:32:03Here.
00:32:04You lost this at the station.
00:32:05That's the letter I've been looking for.
00:32:07Sure.
00:32:07Here you are, doctor.
00:32:10Oh.
00:32:11Report to the kitchen.
00:32:12The chef assigns the pantry boy's duty.
00:32:14Well, I'll see you again, Jim.
00:32:16Oh, again and again.
00:32:17I'll be like a mother's blessing.
00:32:18Always with you.
00:32:19Ha, ha, ha.
00:32:20Uh, nice lad.
00:32:21I met him on the train.
00:32:24What can I do for you, sir?
00:32:25Find a place to park the body in the plumage.
00:32:27I beg your pardon?
00:32:29A bed.
00:32:29A bed with pillow.
00:32:31Have you, uh, a reservation?
00:32:34James Wilson doesn't need a reservation.
00:32:36I'm sorry, but you must have a reservation.
00:32:39Oh, I can explain that to you.
00:32:40Hey, hey, look.
00:32:41Oscar.
00:32:42Just look at that.
00:32:43That's all.
00:32:43Just look at that.
00:32:44I am looking at it.
00:32:45So am I.
00:32:47Ain't it, honey?
00:32:48I should say so.
00:32:49It's a pip.
00:32:50That's what it is.
00:32:51Pip?
00:32:52It's a piperoo.
00:32:53I wish I was a detective.
00:32:56I'd solve it in a minute, I would.
00:32:58Oscar.
00:32:59Please.
00:32:59Oh, yes, sir.
00:33:00Now, to get back to the point, Mr. Wilson.
00:33:04Sergeant Wilson of the, uh, Winkerton Detectives.
00:33:08Winkerton Detective Bureau?
00:33:10Shh.
00:33:13You're here because of the bank robbery?
00:33:18Incognito.
00:33:19And my desire for secrecy was stopping at your hotel.
00:33:22And I'll be fabulous here.
00:33:25I wouldn't be surprised.
00:33:27Well, I've always got to help the Lord.
00:33:29I knew you would be.
00:33:30Uh, is it necessary for me to identify myself?
00:33:33Not at all.
00:33:34Not at all.
00:33:34Sergeant.
00:33:36I wish, I wish I was on a mission of the law.
00:33:40Is that, sir, what good?
00:33:41Oscar.
00:33:42Is that your name?
00:33:43Yes, sir.
00:33:43Oscar, Sergeant.
00:33:44Oscar.
00:33:45Take the gentleman's police to suite 21.
00:33:48Yes, sir.
00:33:49Ah, ah, ah, ah, Oscar.
00:33:52Pardon me.
00:33:53I'll take care of this myself.
00:33:55Oh, are you?
00:33:56Are your disguises in that?
00:33:57Yes, sir.
00:33:58Why, even my own mother hasn't recognized me since I was three years of age.
00:34:02Yes.
00:34:03Ah, my goodness, but you must have been a detective a long, long time.
00:34:08But, go on.
00:34:09Blaze the trail.
00:34:10Blaze the trail.
00:34:11Yes, sir.
00:34:12Come on.
00:34:12Go on.
00:34:17Yeah, drop that.
00:34:22Drop, drop, you bad boy.
00:34:24Oh, stop it, Dad.
00:34:25Oh, all right, you can have that.
00:34:37Now, listen, sir.
00:34:39Hey, boy, where's that boy?
00:34:41Hey!
00:34:44Don't do that.
00:34:45Yes.
00:34:46Oh.
00:34:47Excuse me.
00:34:49You're excused.
00:34:50Get out of here.
00:34:55I'll, I'll, I'll...
00:34:56No, you won't.
00:34:56Now, leave it alone and get out of here.
00:34:58Oh, the window, grump.
00:35:03Hey, hey.
00:35:04Close the window.
00:35:05Close it.
00:35:05Close it.
00:35:06Oh, close it?
00:35:07Yeah.
00:35:07Yes, sir.
00:35:09Oh, I...
00:35:09Here.
00:35:10Scram.
00:35:11Amscrave.
00:35:12Get out of here.
00:35:12Go on.
00:35:13Get out of here, will you?
00:35:14Don't be a nuisance.
00:35:19Uh, uh, uh, Martin.
00:35:21Say, don't do that, will you, please?
00:35:25Hey.
00:35:27Do you know what?
00:35:28What's his first name?
00:35:32All my life, I've wanted to be a detective.
00:35:35Yeah?
00:35:36And now that I've seen a real one.
00:35:38Who is it?
00:35:38I mean, uh...
00:35:40My heart.
00:35:41Feel my pulse.
00:35:42Yes, never mind now.
00:35:43Oh.
00:35:45Now, listen.
00:35:47To what?
00:35:48Will you give me lessons on how to be a detective?
00:35:52Would you really want them?
00:35:54Oh, more than anything else in the world.
00:35:57Well, you're a nice boy, but I'm sorry.
00:35:59I'm very busy.
00:36:00Very busy.
00:36:01Well, I'm perfectly willing to pay.
00:36:04Pay?
00:36:04You have the O-Day?
00:36:06Uh-huh.
00:36:08All right, sir.
00:36:10Now, um...
00:36:11What do I do first, Sergeant?
00:36:14Sergeant, sir...
00:36:15Well, above all, secrecy.
00:36:19Secrecy.
00:36:20And if you ever see me around a place, never talk to me.
00:36:24No.
00:36:24No.
00:36:25What do I do?
00:36:27Well, let me see.
00:36:28What do you do, Sergeant?
00:36:29What do you do?
00:36:30Shall I give you a high sign?
00:36:32That's it.
00:36:33A high sign.
00:36:35Shh.
00:36:39Here it is.
00:36:50You say that your objective is to be a great detective and to follow in the footsteps of
00:36:55old sleuth?
00:36:56I want to be Nick Carter.
00:36:58Very well.
00:36:59As a starter, you must realize a most important truth.
00:37:03Now, you appreciate, I dare say, that the first thing is to share shape with that most
00:37:08elusive article, La Femme.
00:37:10Huh?
00:37:10That's, uh, French for find the girl.
00:37:13It's a lovely twist and fur.
00:37:15Oh, wherever there's a mystery.
00:37:17Huh.
00:37:17Look for that.
00:37:19I get the idea.
00:37:21Pinching dames are chasing.
00:37:23Well, you must be careful how you pinch in a lady.
00:37:28Hmm?
00:37:29Yeah.
00:37:30Now, for instance, there was a murder.
00:37:33There isn't any clues.
00:37:34And they want a great detective, so they telephone to you.
00:37:38When you are put upon the case, what's the first thing you should do?
00:37:42Call a cop.
00:37:44Find the girl.
00:37:46Oh, sure.
00:37:48Oh, no, I'm afraid you'll never make a great detective.
00:37:52Why?
00:37:52Well, it seems to me that you're mentally defective.
00:37:55Oh, no, I'm not.
00:37:56I just, I'll give you one more chance.
00:38:00They're looking for a gangster.
00:38:02They want to lie but dead.
00:38:03And he sneaks right up behind you, and he socks you on the head.
00:38:06And you wake up three days later in a little iron bed.
00:38:09What do you do?
00:38:10Huh?
00:38:12Find the girl.
00:38:13Go.
00:38:15Oh, dear.
00:38:16Me.
00:38:17Where have you been all these years?
00:38:20Huh?
00:38:22Oh, come here, Philo Vanson.
00:38:24Sit down.
00:38:26Yeah.
00:38:27One more chance.
00:38:28Yes.
00:38:28Look.
00:38:29You're way up on an airplane.
00:38:31Way up in the air.
00:38:33And the pilot is a villain.
00:38:34We'll point it to the chair.
00:38:36What's the proper thing to do now you've got him right up there?
00:38:40Hit him on the head.
00:38:41Go.
00:38:44Isn't that right?
00:38:46As a really great investigation, I'm afraid you're going to make a first-class waiter.
00:38:53Go wait.
00:38:54Now, wait a minute, sir.
00:38:56No, no, no.
00:38:56Sergeant, I can get it.
00:38:58You can?
00:38:58Yes, sir.
00:38:59I'll try it once more.
00:39:01All right.
00:39:02For instance, a divorce case.
00:39:04A lovely woman's flat.
00:39:06You're hiding in the closet when her husband finds your hat.
00:39:10What's the right procedure up against a thing like that?
00:39:14To find the girl.
00:39:16No.
00:39:17Out the window.
00:39:20Oh.
00:39:20Huh?
00:39:21Oh, sure.
00:39:21I can do that easy.
00:39:23Yeah.
00:39:23Yeah, I guess you could.
00:39:25I didn't know what you meant.
00:39:27Come here.
00:39:28No, I like you.
00:39:29Yes, sir.
00:39:30And I'm going to trust you, and I hope my trust in you will never be misplaced.
00:39:33No, sir.
00:39:34All right.
00:39:35If anybody ever asks you who I am, never say I'm a detective.
00:39:40Yes, sir.
00:39:41Yes, sir.
00:39:41No, sir.
00:39:42Why don't you make up your mind what it's going to be?
00:39:44Yes, sir.
00:39:44Huh?
00:39:45No, sir.
00:39:49Does that ever do any trailing?
00:39:50Oh, you mean talking footsteps and lurking in the shadows?
00:39:56Well, uh, yeah, something like that.
00:40:00Well, no, I ain't done much of it.
00:40:02Oh, well, then you're no good to me.
00:40:03Huh?
00:40:03Oh, no, no.
00:40:05That's the first thing you must practice.
00:40:07It is.
00:40:08Well, rule a practice only.
00:40:11How do I know?
00:40:14You see those two men down there?
00:40:17Huh?
00:40:18Listen to this.
00:40:21And the bank guard said the robbery was committed by two men.
00:40:25One middle-aged and the other a younger fellow.
00:40:29You don't mean...
00:40:31Well, I'm not saying anything, but...
00:40:34I'll get your arm, Sarge.
00:40:36I'll get your arm.
00:40:37I knew you would.
00:40:39Here.
00:40:40Go ahead and trailer.
00:40:44Huh?
00:40:46Oh, yes.
00:40:47Yes, yes, yes.
00:40:49And another thing.
00:40:51Boy, if you're ever in trouble and your back is against the wall, you need help.
00:40:55You want me?
00:41:00Then...
00:41:00Right.
00:41:02Right.
00:41:04Hey!
00:41:06What are you going to do?
00:41:08Find the girl.
00:41:09Go!
00:41:21It's one of them.
00:41:22I can do it if I keep my finger underneath.
00:41:23Yeah, but that's Katie.
00:41:25Let me see you do it again.
00:41:26Come on.
00:41:27Come on, Miss Byron.
00:41:28I hear you.
00:41:31Yes, Dr. David.
00:41:32That's the tenth time that bellboy's passed back and forth there.
00:41:35What is he watching us for?
00:41:36Well, maybe it's a habit.
00:41:41I wonder why we haven't seen Mr. Payne.
00:41:43He must be awfully busy.
00:41:45Yes, where is Payne?
00:41:46You know, that's a bad way to treat his guests.
00:41:48Terrible business.
00:41:49Perhaps Mr. Payne hasn't got time for his guests.
00:41:52Well, of course, Larry is awfully busy.
00:41:56He isn't the kind that plays all the time.
00:41:58Well, he might at least ask how we're enjoying it.
00:42:05Say, this ought to be...
00:42:06What?
00:42:07What's that?
00:42:07The management invites its guests to inspect the kitchen at any time.
00:42:11Well, as far as I'm concerned, I think it'd be rather dull.
00:42:15I mean, say, after you've seen one kitchen pot, well, you've seen them all.
00:42:19Yes.
00:42:20What could possibly attract you to the kitchen?
00:42:22Outside of the food?
00:42:23Oh, I don't know.
00:42:24I thought perhaps Barbara might be interested.
00:42:26Oh, no.
00:42:27I think Barbara...
00:42:28I mean, Miss Barbara would rather see the golf course, wouldn't you?
00:42:31Yes, we'll see the golf course.
00:42:32We will not see the golf course.
00:42:35What kind of talk is that I like to know?
00:42:37Oh, touch, touch, touch.
00:42:38Of course, what kind of talk is that indeed?
00:42:39I like to know myself.
00:42:40I insist we go to the kitchen.
00:42:42Well, if going to the kitchen is going to keep you from being a nuisance, we are going to the
00:42:46kitchen.
00:42:46Well, pardon me just a moment till I drink my Capulet.
00:42:49All right, we'll even wait till you drink your coffee.
00:42:53That reminds me, I very near forgot my after-dinner tablet.
00:42:58Tablets?
00:42:59They're pills.
00:43:00These cost $30.
00:43:02They're tablets.
00:43:03Will you teach children about fighting?
00:43:05Well, he's always taking pills.
00:43:19Give us a little pantry.
00:43:20Oh, get out of here.
00:43:21Yes, sir.
00:43:22Oh, by the way, would you care for one of those cigars you like on the train?
00:43:27Thanks, Wilson.
00:43:28We must go to the kitchen.
00:43:29Oh, no, I mean, truthfully, I mean to say, this kitchen may be all right.
00:43:33The kitchen's gold, but for sheer beauty and lavish display and air-ray,
00:43:38give me the kitchen of the Sultan of Jappalapa.
00:43:43Jappalapa?
00:43:48Uh...
00:43:49Yes, Jappalapa.
00:43:51Oh, what a country.
00:43:53What a spot with a climate cold and hot,
00:43:57though it's warmer in the city than the winter.
00:44:00Now, uh, the penitular gank is by the cross from that,
00:44:04and the capital of those is called, uh, Gisela.
00:44:08There's a certain issue, by the way.
00:44:10Isn't that somewhere near Bombay?
00:44:12Well, not exactly near.
00:44:13It's in between.
00:44:16Does one reach this spot by train?
00:44:18Uh-huh.
00:44:19Both?
00:44:20Oh, aeroplane.
00:44:21Oh, you mean how does one get there?
00:44:23That's exactly what I mean.
00:44:25Correct.
00:44:26Sit down.
00:44:26Well, you, uh, ride upon a basil until you come to death.
00:44:31And what's a basil?
00:44:33I was afraid you were going to ask me that.
00:44:35Well, it's a little piece of bird, so small it's almost eating,
00:44:41and the favorite mode of transport of the Maharaja, Emi.
00:44:46Emi?
00:44:47Hmm.
00:44:47Who is Emi?
00:44:48Oh, Santa, of course, I thought you'd know.
00:44:51Oh, Emi is the brother of Meenie, Miney, Moe.
00:44:58Moe's in the clothing business now.
00:44:59Bobby, here's your arm.
00:45:01Meenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe.
00:45:03Why, that's the games that I can play.
00:45:05Oh, a great game, country Japa Lapa.
00:45:08In fact, that's what took me there.
00:45:10Oh, I was, uh, hunting the wild kazookas.
00:45:15Uh, that's a Japa Lapa bird.
00:45:19Of course, but the wild kazookas, every one in the world has birds.
00:45:23Not me.
00:45:25Not I would be correct.
00:45:26Uh, now the strangest thing about this bird is the fact that it cannot fly.
00:45:32I've still stopped.
00:45:33Me, uh, for instance, you, you, ah, uh, leave it alone if it's quiet.
00:45:38So it's built its nest six feet under earth, which makes it rather hard to visit.
00:45:44It has, uh, three ears, four legs, no head, and meows like a rabbit.
00:45:49Now, what is it?
00:45:50That's for you to answer.
00:45:52Uh, well, we'll wait for that.
00:45:55I was strolling through the forest.
00:45:57What forest?
00:45:58I knew you was going to say, you're not fooling me, you know.
00:46:00Before my very eyes, by a pair of ropey's anchors, I was taken by surprise.
00:46:05It was the princess.
00:46:07The princess Rembrandt.
00:46:09Rembrandt?
00:46:10Uh, Rembrandt.
00:46:12She was torn from her mother's arms when Butter Bay.
00:46:15Won't you?
00:46:16All right, throw it out.
00:46:17We met.
00:46:18We kissed.
00:46:19And there in the piney blue glade, love was born.
00:46:22Oh, pictures you can, a maid, a man, and the birds above, caroling the song of love.
00:46:35Mitchell & Br diferencia.
00:46:35The princess acknowledge, the goddess of never saying it away.
00:46:37Oh, my God.
00:46:40Why?
00:46:40Oh, my God.
00:46:49And there in the Verkehr.
00:46:49Mm-hmm.
00:46:50Yay.ettiing
00:46:50the French... All right.
00:46:51Oh, my God.
00:46:55Oh.
00:47:02When are we going to the kitchen?
00:47:04It won't be long now, fruitcake.
00:47:06Never was there such a woman in all of history's pages.
00:47:10The Apatria, Josephine, down to all the ages.
00:47:14Oh, roll back your tired of time.
00:47:16Roll back.
00:47:17Roll back.
00:47:20It's back.
00:47:23Yes, sir.
00:47:24I think we better...
00:47:26Listen, Sarge, something suspicious is underfoot.
00:47:31You know, you shouldn't be a bellboy here.
00:47:34You should be a patient.
00:47:36I like everything.
00:47:45Oh, well, I'm glad you're waiting for me.
00:47:50Give me, it's hot in here.
00:47:52Let's get outside.
00:47:53Hot damn dull.
00:47:54Yes, if this is your idea of a thrill, young fella.
00:47:57Yes, where is the big attraction?
00:47:59It's in the pantry.
00:48:00The pantry, the pantry, the...
00:48:01I know where the pantry is.
00:48:03It's on the third floor.
00:48:05Yes, sir.
00:48:05The pantry's right in there.
00:48:06You would, wouldn't you?
00:48:08Go back, go back.
00:48:09Go, go, go, go back.
00:48:11Go back to where...
00:48:13That's wrong.
00:48:14Come back.
00:48:14Come back.
00:48:15Come back.
00:48:16Come back to where...
00:48:16Howdy, I told you.
00:48:17Come back to where...
00:48:18I love those Irish bonges.
00:48:20Ha, ha, ha.
00:48:20I'm a little flat.
00:48:21Tell me, where can I get a good olive around here?
00:48:23Olive?
00:48:24Come on, let's take a look at the pantry.
00:48:26Stop!
00:48:27Put it under the curb.
00:48:28I'll see you later.
00:48:29Come here.
00:48:29I've got...
00:48:29I've got to come here and show you.
00:48:31I've got a treat, a treat...
00:48:32Stand right over here, Sarge.
00:48:33You know, I'm beginning to like your father.
00:48:35Ha, ha.
00:48:35I'm going to make you a Jaffa-Laffa waffle.
00:48:38A what?
00:48:39A Jaffa-Laffa waffle as made by the Jaffa-Laffa mammoths
00:48:42down on the Jaffa-Laffa plantations in Jaffa-Laffa.
00:48:45I say, you can't do that in here.
00:48:47What do you mean I can't do that in here?
00:48:49Don't be silly.
00:48:51Do you know who this is?
00:48:52No.
00:48:53Dr. Jasper's father.
00:48:55Oh.
00:48:56It's a little eccentric.
00:48:58My job is to keep him amused.
00:49:02Here.
00:49:04Sit the dogs for a waffle.
00:49:06Now I'm going to make you...
00:49:07When are we going to take a look at the pantry later?
00:49:10I'd like the waffle.
00:49:11Good.
00:49:11I couldn't eat another thing.
00:49:13No, you're bulging now.
00:49:17Good.
00:49:19Now, first of all, we take a baby's bath.
00:49:23I mean, bowl.
00:49:25That's amazing.
00:49:25Now to make the waffle.
00:49:27Apourishment.
00:49:28Yes.
00:49:28Now, waffle.
00:49:29Would you be so kind as to help me with this bib?
00:49:32There you are.
00:49:33The hand's right here.
00:49:35I can help you.
00:49:36Where's the other hand?
00:49:37Pardon me.
00:49:38I'm left-handed.
00:49:39Would you do that?
00:49:40Great girl.
00:49:41Charming, charming, charming.
00:49:42You know what you're talking about.
00:49:44Now comes the waffle.
00:49:45Now, the first thing you've got to do is to have a flower.
00:49:48Flower.
00:49:49What's your favorite flower?
00:49:50Don't you say chrysanthemum.
00:49:52Romance button.
00:49:53You know what I'm talking about.
00:49:54Now, the flower.
00:49:55Where's the flower?
00:49:55Here we are.
00:49:56Here is the flower.
00:49:57That's the flower.
00:49:58Oh, dear.
00:50:00Here.
00:50:01What a night.
00:50:04Do you see the child was pound on the doorstep?
00:50:06What?
00:50:06Oh, it's you, mother.
00:50:07Well, here we are.
00:50:10Now, come the hen fruit.
00:50:11Now, first of all, you take these and, um, you, you, you, no?
00:50:17Well, perhaps you're right.
00:50:18It's all fun, though.
00:50:19It's all fun.
00:50:20That's the idea.
00:50:21See there?
00:50:22It's an art.
00:50:23It's an art in that.
00:50:24You've got to be ambidextrous.
00:50:25There's a good word.
00:50:26Hmm.
00:50:26Remember that for me, won't you?
00:50:27Hmm.
00:50:28The ocean splash.
00:50:30Ha, ha, ha.
00:50:30Don't you have fun making these waffles?
00:50:32Oh, well, that's a loose one.
00:50:34I'm sorry.
00:50:34That's loose.
00:50:35That is loose, really.
00:50:36Quank and crispy, would say it is.
00:50:37Ha, ha.
00:50:38There's another.
00:50:39Ha, ha, ha.
00:50:41Oh, dear me.
00:50:42Oh, uh, we have visitors.
00:50:45Oh, and it doesn't make any difference.
00:50:46There we are.
00:50:47And in there.
00:50:49Hold that.
00:50:50Hmm.
00:50:51That's the stuff.
00:50:52Hmm.
00:50:53What do I do with this?
00:50:54Bake us up a cake.
00:50:56The next thing we've got to have is, let me see, milk.
00:50:59Must have milk.
00:51:01Cow's milk.
00:51:02Let me see.
00:51:02Now, where is the milk?
00:51:04Here we are.
00:51:04We have the milk.
00:51:05That's the idea.
00:51:06Oh, I love milk.
00:51:09Come on in.
00:51:10Don't get your feet wet.
00:51:11There we are.
00:51:12That's it.
00:51:13There you are.
00:51:14That's long enough.
00:51:15Now, let me see.
00:51:16What are we going to do?
00:51:16Well, what now?
00:51:17What now?
00:51:18Yes, you're way ahead of me.
00:51:19Uh, nothing.
00:51:20I see.
00:51:20We've got to have season.
00:51:23Got to have season.
00:51:24Whether it be spring, autumn, or winter, we've got to have.
00:51:27Ah, here we are.
00:51:30Worcestershire sauce.
00:51:33Yes, indeed.
00:51:34Now, what a tang it gives us, too.
00:51:35You love this.
00:51:36Would you like to do dandruff?
00:51:38No?
00:51:39Well, all right.
00:51:40Mmm.
00:51:41That's a surprise.
00:51:42I never knew you grew the chili sauce in America.
00:51:47Oh, it gives a bit of a tang of this, too.
00:51:49Now, let me see.
00:51:50What else?
00:51:50Here are we...
00:51:51Now, that's confusing.
00:51:53That's confusing.
00:51:53No label.
00:51:55I wonder if that's...
00:51:56Face at the moment, will you?
00:51:57Is that...
00:51:58Yes, I thought so.
00:52:00That's...
00:52:01Tobacco.
00:52:02There you are.
00:52:03Now, what's this?
00:52:05Mmm.
00:52:06Oh, olives.
00:52:08Olives.
00:52:08I love olives, too.
00:52:10Look at those arms, obviously.
00:52:12Mmm.
00:52:13That's a little phrase.
00:52:15It's...
00:52:16Dear me, what's that?
00:52:17Oh, ha, ha, ha.
00:52:19Isn't that cute?
00:52:25Oh, dear.
00:52:26That needs tuning.
00:52:29Now, but take this...
00:52:30Pardon me.
00:52:31Here.
00:52:32Take this, will you?
00:52:32Yes.
00:52:33Peel that olive a moment.
00:52:35Now, what we have...
00:52:37Prunes!
00:52:38Look what I have discovered.
00:52:39Prunes.
00:52:40Look at those prunes.
00:52:41Look at the little wrinkled old men there.
00:52:42Now, speaking of prunes, I'm not talking about you at all.
00:52:46Now, these prunes...
00:52:47Do you know the prunes originally came from Jappa Lappa?
00:52:50No.
00:52:51Well, maybe you're right.
00:52:53Have you see.
00:52:54Prunes.
00:52:55Spoons.
00:52:56Da.
00:52:57Da.
00:52:58And...
00:52:59Blur.
00:53:00Pardon me.
00:53:01I go.
00:53:02That's the idea.
00:53:03Now.
00:53:04Merrily, we roll along, roll along, roll along.
00:53:08Merrily, we roll along.
00:53:10Leave it down.
00:53:11La, la, la, la, la.
00:53:14La, la, la, la.
00:53:15La, la, la, la.
00:53:18Well, now, now we will play it in the sun.
00:53:24In the sunshine.
00:53:25In the sunshine we will go.
00:53:27We will go.
00:53:28We will go.
00:53:28In the sunshine we will go.
00:53:30My fair lady.
00:53:32Why?
00:53:33Well, you see, the sun blows the prunes and the prunes raise the flower.
00:53:36And then we have a perfect jappled apple waffle.
00:53:39Come on.
00:53:39I've had enough of this.
00:53:41Now, you haven't even tasted it.
00:53:42Come on.
00:53:43We are going to take a look at the pantry.
00:53:45Why are you so interested in the pantry?
00:53:47You'd be surprised.
00:53:48Oh, it's Horace wanting to see the pantry.
00:53:50Let's go before he cries.
00:53:52Now, of course, Miss Barbara wants to see the pantry.
00:53:55Miss Barbara is now going in to see the pantry.
00:53:58That's all.
00:54:06Oh, Miss Barbara, I would advise you to go out and take some flowers.
00:54:10This is the pantry.
00:54:11It's the dressing room.
00:54:11Who is your crate?
00:54:12You'll wait and see if I'm crazy.
00:54:14Well, we have proof of that.
00:54:15All right.
00:54:21Well, can you imagine my predicament?
00:54:22Here I'm entirely surrounded by cannabis.
00:54:24The fire is burning, the water burglary, and I have nothing to defend myself with but a harmonica.
00:54:29Hello, Larry.
00:54:30Hello.
00:54:32Hello, Larry.
00:54:33Hello, Barbara.
00:54:34Oh, you look tired.
00:54:36You must have been awfully busy.
00:54:37A little.
00:54:38Well, Lawrence, how do you feel this charming moonlit evening?
00:54:42Fine, Jim, fine.
00:54:45Awkward pause.
00:54:46Yes.
00:54:47Now, how would you two folks like to take a nice little stroll in the garden this evening?
00:54:52I'd love it.
00:54:53Yeah, I'd like that, too.
00:54:54I haven't seen the garden yet.
00:54:55And you're not going to see them this evening because mosquito hit.
00:54:57I'm going to tell you a story.
00:54:59Oh, please, no more stories.
00:55:01Temper, temper, temper.
00:55:02Temper now, Lawrence, look a charming little lady out into the night and the moon.
00:55:06You know, I'm reminded of an incident that happened any many years ago when I was about a silly youth.
00:55:09Something like this.
00:55:54There was an Indian named Herman Bisbee.
00:55:56How shall I item number five is dialed out, meaning an odd number.
00:55:59Yes, yes.
00:56:00Dialed out and we found my turn to the left and we were right.
00:56:03For the moment we got into the balloon, we found that by pushing the balloon left side, we found that
00:56:07the propeller would bobble.
00:56:08Did you ever hear the propeller bobble?
00:56:29Then came the war.
00:56:31I remember leaning against my gate, my dear old home in England.
00:56:34I'll bet you've never even been doing what you doubt me.
00:56:37You call me a liar once I cut out your tongue, sir.
00:56:40You mock me.
00:56:41Do you know my family?
00:56:43Oh, Jake, what?
00:56:45Don't ever do that again as long as you live.
00:56:47If you live long.
00:56:49I got to talk to you, Chief.
00:56:50I got to.
00:56:51What's right?
00:56:51What's wrong?
00:56:52It's about fingerprints and I think it's a gorilla.
00:56:54Gorilla?
00:56:55Uh-huh.
00:56:57Don't you know the gorillas only sound like that?
00:56:58Find me the other one.
00:57:00Come here, bloodhound.
00:57:02Follow Horace.
00:57:04He may be the other gorilla.
00:57:06Oh, okay, Chief.
00:57:07That's right.
00:57:08What do you want me to do?
00:57:09Dog, his footsteps are lurking in the shadows.
00:57:11Get your puppies working.
00:57:12Huh?
00:57:12Get away his hip.
00:57:13Huh?
00:57:13Trail him, trail him.
00:57:14Oh, trail him.
00:57:15Aye, aye, Chief.
00:57:16Yes, boy.
00:57:24You have a beautiful place.
00:57:26What?
00:57:27Oh.
00:57:31Barbara, I want to tell you something.
00:57:35I, ouch.
00:57:37Again?
00:57:39The same thumb.
00:57:43Wait.
00:57:48Use this.
00:57:50It looked like a relic.
00:57:52Not to me.
00:57:54Not to me.
00:58:11Hey.
00:58:13What'd you say?
00:58:14I said, hey.
00:58:16Oh, Barbara.
00:58:18Well, what are you going to say when you find a girl you're in love with in the arms of
00:58:22a dishwasher?
00:58:22Who's a dishwasher?
00:58:23Well, your first cousin to one.
00:58:25You're a pantry boy.
00:58:26Oh, Horace, don't be silly.
00:58:28Oh, I'm silly, am I?
00:58:29All right.
00:58:30Ask him.
00:58:30Ask him if he's not a pantry boy.
00:58:32Ask him if he's not after you for your money.
00:58:34I am not.
00:58:35Am not what?
00:58:36Not after our money?
00:58:37Certainly not.
00:58:38Don't be a silly rabbit.
00:58:39And now you'll say to himself he wasn't with your modest use.
00:58:41Now you keep out of this.
00:58:43Listen, Barbara, now just remember, remember that Megan Hayes gathers no moss.
00:58:48Pardon me, Miss Barbara.
00:58:49Will you commit me to explain everything?
00:58:51Yes.
00:58:52You tell us how you were wounded in the Boxer Rebellion.
00:58:55Oh, well, of course.
00:58:55That was another day.
00:58:56Now.
00:58:57Yes.
00:58:58Go on, Mr. Welton.
00:59:00Larry is working in the kitchen.
00:59:02What?
00:59:04Now who's crazy?
00:59:06Still you.
00:59:07Yes.
00:59:07He is working in the kitchen.
00:59:10Why not?
00:59:10Being a hotel man, naturally he must understand the business from the kitchen up.
00:59:15Tomorrow, who can tell?
00:59:16He may be letting you out of bed.
00:59:17He won't be making my bed.
00:59:19We'll waive that.
00:59:21I knew it was nothing like that.
00:59:22Of course.
00:59:23Yes.
00:59:24You see, he's here strictly incognito.
00:59:27And he hopes that everybody will keep his secret.
00:59:30I suppose he's not after her money?
00:59:33Nay, nay.
00:59:34I suppose he's rich.
00:59:35Rich?
00:59:36Why, Larry himself doesn't know how rich he is to be.
00:59:41Larry, you explain.
00:59:42Remember what I told you?
00:59:43Pardon me, Barbara.
00:59:48Barbara, you're not enough with the house, honey.
00:59:51That's all I want to know.
00:59:55Pardon, I'm...
00:59:56Now, listen, Barbara, I...
00:59:58Now, pardon you, too, Harry.
01:00:31Say, buddy, I thought I was doing you a favor.
01:00:34It's nice of you for trying, Jim.
01:00:36And I know you meant well.
01:00:38Meant well?
01:00:39I never meant better.
01:00:41But it's spoiled for good.
01:00:43I can't stay here now.
01:00:44Why not?
01:00:46I tried to tell Barbara the truth, but I couldn't.
01:00:49And when she finds out...
01:00:50Say, listen.
01:00:51If a charming little lady...
01:00:54dies of a broken heart just because you don't own help, I'm sure.
01:00:58Isn't that...
01:00:59Well, I lied to her.
01:01:00She thinks I'm rich.
01:01:06You are rich.
01:01:08I'm what?
01:01:09Rich.
01:01:10Affluent.
01:01:10You have dough.
01:01:15What is it?
01:01:16Look.
01:01:22Voilà.
01:01:25And half of it is yours.
01:01:27That's money.
01:01:29Well, what did you think it was?
01:01:30Spinach?
01:01:31Where'd you get it?
01:01:33In the bank.
01:01:35That's does it.
01:01:37As what?
01:01:38On top of everything else, I'm a crook.
01:01:40Oh, hush, hush behavior.
01:01:42You had nothing to do with it.
01:01:45Why, we're the two robbers the newspapers have been writing about.
01:01:49I wonder.
01:01:50Oh, I could stand as thinking of me anything but...
01:01:53But a crook.
01:01:56Come on.
01:01:57Come on, where?
01:01:58We're taking that money back.
01:01:59What?
01:02:00Oh, don't make me turn on it.
01:02:03Please.
01:02:04Jim, we've got to do it.
01:02:05What?
01:02:06We've got to.
01:02:08But if we can return this money without getting arrested, we might even save our hide.
01:02:14Oh, please, Jim.
01:02:18All right.
01:02:20I can only be honest without feeling self-conscious about it, though.
01:02:24That's the thing.
01:02:34Come in.
01:02:40Good evening, gents.
01:02:43Ah.
01:02:44We have visitors.
01:02:46If I'd known they were coming, I would have baked a cake.
01:02:49Uh, well, uh, what can I do for you, gentlemen?
01:02:52That ought to be easy for you to guess.
01:02:55We're from headquarters.
01:02:57Oh, yes?
01:02:58Well, uh, welcome to our health farm.
01:03:02What are you, what are you doing here?
01:03:03Can it, Wilson.
01:03:05You always was a big talker.
01:03:07Two crooks stuck on the bank today.
01:03:09No.
01:03:10We think we know who it was.
01:03:12You imagine.
01:03:12And then we think we know where the dough is.
01:03:15Dough?
01:03:16Vulgar expression.
01:03:18What dough?
01:03:29Of course, you don't mind if we give the joint that once over, do you?
01:03:32Joint?
01:03:34Common people.
01:03:35Well, of course, if you can show me that you have a...
01:03:38Let me see, what do you call it in America?
01:03:39A warrant?
01:03:40No warrant.
01:03:41This is a stick of, not a divorce.
01:03:45Sorry.
01:03:46Social error.
01:03:48Well, go ahead.
01:03:57Nonchalant.
01:04:05I don't believe the dough's here.
01:04:07Let's beat it.
01:04:08It must be here.
01:04:09Oh, why?
01:04:11Let's try the bed, Rose.
01:04:24Hey, look what I found.
01:04:26Get that out of here and you go with it.
01:04:28It fell out the window in my hand.
01:04:31Get it out of here.
01:04:32But there might be something in it.
01:04:34Oh, and I wish they were bricks, huh?
01:04:39This looks funny to me.
01:04:43Come on, you can't tell me, Jim Wilson, you're at this farm for your health.
01:04:47I'm a sick man.
01:04:50I'm a sick man.
01:04:50It's my neighbor.
01:04:55Another neighbor.
01:04:57Come back a little later.
01:04:59I'm busy now.
01:05:01I'll bring it.
01:05:02You take it.
01:05:06I don't mind.
01:05:09Who are you?
01:05:11Where did he come from?
01:05:13Who are you?
01:05:14Who are you?
01:05:15Who are me?
01:05:17Oscar.
01:05:18Oscar?
01:05:19Oscar?
01:05:19I've never heard of him. He's an imposter.
01:05:22Who put you in that closet?
01:05:27Nobody.
01:05:30Nobody put you in there, eh?
01:05:32Did you go in there by yourself?
01:05:37Yeah, why?
01:05:44I always go in the closet.
01:05:48So you're always going closet, eh?
01:05:53Yeah.
01:05:54Why?
01:05:59I like it.
01:06:01No, Vincent, he's one of our worst patients.
01:06:04He loves it.
01:06:05Of course.
01:06:06The same thing happened when I was rowing in the Chinese regatta.
01:06:10I don't... I don't even...
01:06:13Look, he has fits.
01:06:14Come on, get out of here.
01:06:16Come on, son.
01:06:17Come on, get out of here.
01:06:17We're very rich.
01:06:18I won that race in the most confusing.
01:06:20I...
01:06:21I thought at the time it was usually a...
01:06:24Now he's beating himself to the...
01:06:26Come on, get out of here.
01:06:34Say...
01:06:34Maybe that bellhop knows something about the dough.
01:06:37Ah, duh.
01:06:38Well, what was he doing in that closet?
01:06:40Well, we can soon find dough.
01:06:42Pardon me, just a minute.
01:06:43I'm sorry.
01:06:47Wait a minute.
01:06:48He's got to come out sometime.
01:06:50And he's got to come out this way.
01:07:10Hey, hey.
01:07:12Come on.
01:07:16Well, could you wait for me?
01:07:17What that is?
01:07:19Hey, hey.
01:07:21Hey, hey.
01:07:21Hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:07:21Hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:07:21Unless you're a detective.
01:07:27The lobby, baby, come on.
01:07:32The lobby.
01:07:37Just another gentleman.
01:07:38I told you, you are not allowed in the lobby.
01:07:47Hey!
01:07:49Where are you going?
01:07:51I want to help you search the room.
01:07:53Well, that's not a bad idea.
01:07:57Wait a minute!
01:07:59Hey, that kid's gone!
01:08:00What?
01:08:01No!
01:08:14We've got a couple of questions we want to ask you, young man.
01:08:17Now, Jeff, what's all this promotion about?
01:08:18Oh, nothing, nothing, doctor.
01:08:19Let's get out of here.
01:08:21Suppose you retire from my office where we can talk this matter over more privately?
01:08:24That's a good idea, doctor.
01:08:36Hey.
01:08:39There's a lot of money in that suitcase.
01:08:41Yeah, and that isn't all.
01:08:43No?
01:08:44What else?
01:08:45I'll bet this is the money that was stolen from the bank.
01:08:49Yeah?
01:08:51Well, what are you looking at me like that for?
01:08:54You don't think I stole it, do you?
01:08:56I ain't saying what I think.
01:08:58Well, you couldn't put it in words.
01:09:01What are you going to do with it?
01:09:03You know whose suitcase this is, don't you?
01:09:06Sure.
01:09:07Sergeant Wilson.
01:09:08Exactly.
01:09:09He stole this money.
01:09:10He and that pantry boy.
01:09:11They did not.
01:09:13We'll go right upstairs and we'll search the rooms again.
01:09:17Gentlemen.
01:09:19I have what you're looking for.
01:09:22Here is the money.
01:09:26What do you know about that?
01:09:28Yes.
01:09:29Yeah, that's the money, all right.
01:09:31And you're the bandit that stole it.
01:09:33You and that old medicine chest over there.
01:09:35Who, me?
01:09:36You're crazy.
01:09:37Yeah, ask me now why I was failing you.
01:09:39Ask me now.
01:09:41What's your proof?
01:09:42Well, the newspaper said it was a young man and a middle-aged man.
01:09:45Yeah, I guess they're the ones we want, all right.
01:09:47Sure they are.
01:09:48I've been failing them ever since they got here.
01:09:50Boy doesn't know what he's talking about.
01:09:51Come on.
01:09:52Tell us to the judge.
01:09:54This is all a mistake.
01:09:56You've got to let them go.
01:09:57Let them go.
01:09:59They're our prisoners.
01:10:00Well, they shouldn't be.
01:10:01They didn't do it.
01:10:01No?
01:10:02I suppose you did.
01:10:04I did.
01:10:06Oh, I know what you're doing.
01:10:08Lying to save my father.
01:10:10Please, Barbara.
01:10:10I'm not lying this time.
01:10:12If only we could have returned that money to the bank, but...
01:10:15Well, it's too late now.
01:10:17Well, we got our prisoners and we're leaving.
01:10:20If anybody else wants to confess, better see us at the jail.
01:10:28Well, well, the heavenly twins.
01:10:34Well, the jig is up, boys.
01:10:36And it's about time you've got a new line of work.
01:10:39Why, you...
01:10:40Oh!
01:10:42To think I've been fooled by a couple of phony detectives.
01:10:45Say, what do you know about it?
01:10:47Nothing, just what I've read in the papers.
01:10:50Oh, that's papered me eyes.
01:10:51This is Jim Wilson, officer.
01:10:53Oh, charming fellow.
01:10:55Oh, the new pantry boy.
01:10:58You are?
01:11:00Uh...
01:11:00Social error.
01:11:02Say, officers, we have nothing to do with this, aren't we?
01:11:05Hey, hey.
01:11:07What are you hiding behind your back?
01:11:09Hmm?
01:11:15Stick them up, everybody.
01:11:27I got him, Summers.
01:11:28I got him!
01:11:29I got him!
01:11:30I got him!
01:11:30I got him!
01:11:30I got him!
01:11:32I got him!
01:11:33Dammit!
01:11:34Drop!
01:11:37What are you trying to get away with here?
01:11:41Gentlemen, gentlemen, I am for you!
01:11:43I...
01:11:46I got him!
01:11:47I got him!
01:11:48I got him!
01:11:49I got him!
01:11:50There it goes!
01:11:53I got him!
01:11:55What?
01:11:55Here's the money.
01:11:56The money?
01:11:57Oh, it's that way out, Summers.
01:11:59Come on, Summers.
01:12:00Let's get going.
01:12:00Yeah.
01:12:01Sorry, Jim.
01:12:02Come on.
01:12:03All right.
01:12:04Wait a minute.
01:12:04You can't take them off like this.
01:12:06Wait a minute.
01:12:06Jim, I won't let you go to jail alone.
01:12:08Wait.
01:12:09Can I see him just a minute?
01:12:11All right.
01:12:12Come here.
01:12:14You're not a crook.
01:12:15I got you into this mess.
01:12:17Yes.
01:12:17I know.
01:12:18You stay here with your little Barbara.
01:12:19You're a great kid and I like you.
01:12:21Sure do I.
01:12:23I'll vouch for that young man.
01:12:24And any time you want him, he'll be there.
01:12:26But...
01:12:27But Jim...
01:12:27All right.
01:12:29I happen to know the land where I'm going.
01:12:32And Barbara...
01:12:33Keep an eye on him.
01:12:35Mother's eye.
01:12:36In some respects.
01:12:37And don't let him go for rides with strangers.
01:12:41Goodbye, Barbara.
01:12:48I'm sorry.
01:12:49I thought I had him.
01:12:51I was dove in him.
01:12:52That's all right, son.
01:12:54You know what I'm going to do for you?
01:12:55Huh?
01:12:56I'm going to make you a Royal High Police Commissioner of Jaffa Laffa.
01:13:06Give me your left hand.
01:13:08With the right.
01:13:11All right, Smithy.
01:13:12Let's be gone.
01:13:12Come on, boys.
01:13:13Let's go.
01:13:18Come on.
01:13:19Come on.
01:13:20Come on.
01:13:21Come on.
01:13:22Come on.
01:13:22Come on.
01:13:23Come on.
01:13:23You want me to be?
01:13:25Come on.
01:13:26You're going to start?
01:13:28Ah!
01:13:29Send me a piece of wedding cake.
01:13:31Ah!
01:13:31Come on!
01:13:32Ah!
01:13:43Then they just finished!
01:13:48Get alls of it!
01:13:49Ok, now.
01:13:50Dead witches!