00:00How to love!
00:06We all remember that DTR moment.
00:09The first time I said I love you, my boyfriend's response was,
00:12I care about you deeply.
00:14Ouch.
00:15He then left me hanging for an additional five months,
00:18but once he said it, I knew he really meant it.
00:21And it took our relationship to a whole new level.
00:23That's the moment it became real for me,
00:25but I always wonder,
00:26when does your relationship become your relationship?
00:30This is How to Love.
00:33How long into your relationship before you made it official?
00:36When we got married.
00:39After four months.
00:41That was me because I think I was one for a long time.
00:43I was like, I just thought that we needed to put a label on it.
00:46You didn't like the idea of the terms boyfriend and girlfriend.
00:49Yeah, I do. I call him my partner. People get really confused.
00:52I don't count the first year, I keep telling her.
00:54It was just like a roller coaster.
00:56So after the first year, she finally kind of took it seriously.
01:00It was like not a month and a half.
01:01It was a month and a half.
01:02It was like a week.
01:03No, it wasn't a week.
01:04It was maybe three weeks.
01:06If I would have proposed two years ago,
01:08you know, she would have been ecstatic.
01:10My maturity needed to be there,
01:13and now was the time.
01:14I'm glad you stuck to your guns.
01:16Because you got what you want.
01:17As I always do.
01:19We were really drunk for a while in the beginning of our relationship.
01:23We just kind of like were together immediately.
01:26We were like, yeah.
01:28Who said I love you first?
01:30I think I did.
01:32I did probably.
01:34Probably.
01:34Freaked me out.
01:35But I probably did love you.
01:37I don't know.
01:37It was a day like today.
01:39In our little apartment in Alphabet City with no aircon.
01:41Naked and sweaty.
01:43And we were looking at each other.
01:46And I remember she told me I love you.
01:48And I was like, I love you too.
01:51I remember we were on the high line.
01:52Rude.
01:53We kissed and you're like,
01:54I really want to say something to you,
01:56but I don't know if I should.
01:58It tries to make it sound like
01:59it was like a Lindsay Lohan teenage drama.
02:02It was.
02:03This is up for debate.
02:04No, she did.
02:05We used to do this thing where
02:07I would say I love,
02:09and she would say view.
02:11So I went.
02:12Oh my God, that was so cute.
02:13You forgot?
02:15I told her I was falling in love with her first.
02:18Oh, and I.
02:19And she laughed at me.
02:20Why didn't I laugh?
02:20Well, I didn't know what to do.
02:22Yeah.
02:23I kind of zoned out when you were talking.
02:26She's a great listener,
02:27and I think that that is truly
02:29like why I'm so hashtag blessed.
02:32Your hashtag goals.
02:34When did that hashtag come out?
02:36When did it become real for each of you?
02:38We had moved in together,
02:39then I kicked her out.
02:40I went to therapy and stuff.
02:42I was like a hot mess,
02:43but I do love him now.
02:44Even from the beginning,
02:46it was,
02:46we had like a connection
02:47that was deeper than
02:49the typical connection
02:50that you have with someone
02:51who you just meet.
02:53What do you think?
02:53Definitely different.
02:55I think that I was more
02:56just exactly like you.
02:57See, we don't always agree.
02:59What were the reasons
03:00for making it official?
03:01We would wake up
03:02like at six in the morning,
03:04text each other at the same time.
03:05He thinks he got lovesick,
03:06and he said,
03:07he was like,
03:07as soon as I told my friend about you,
03:09I felt immediately better,
03:10so I'm sure I was lovesick.
03:11Is that a thing?
03:12I don't know.
03:13It had to be
03:13because I almost died for him.
03:15Shut up.
03:16You almost killed me.
03:18Arlene made it official
03:19because she asked me
03:20to get married.
03:21Did you give him a ring?
03:23No.
03:23No.
03:23How have you redefined
03:25the relationship
03:27since you began dating?
03:28We redefine it every year.
03:32Redefining was like
03:33just figuring out
03:34different goals and milestones
03:36for your relationship,
03:37making sure you align.
03:38I don't know if it's redefining,
03:39but it's always just like progressing.
03:41You know,
03:41we're always moving forward,
03:42always trying to make it better.
03:44We have touch bases.
03:45They're not like touch bases,
03:46but I'm very big on
03:48every couple months,
03:48I'm like,
03:49okay, so how do you feel?
03:50As far as redefining
03:51our relationship now,
03:52I think we put
03:54each other first.
03:55We try to be
03:56much more selfless
03:58versus, you know,
03:59years ago,
04:00we used to be
04:01very selfish people.
04:02Where else is left to go?
04:05We have not
04:07said anything yet,
04:09but what's next is
04:10we are having a baby.
04:13Woo!
04:17Physically,
04:17we could travel,
04:18you know,
04:18travel together,
04:19travel the world together
04:20and experience all
04:21those new things together.
04:23Once they have kids,
04:25you know,
04:25I don't think it ever stops.
04:27I think they agree.
04:28Yes.
04:29Yes.
04:30Yay!
04:33I just want to hold their hands
04:35and go somewhere
04:37where the life will bring us.
04:38I just know
04:39that I want to hold their hands
04:40and don't leave it.
04:41Oh, God.
04:42Well, we have to get married.
04:43It's going to be three years
04:44in September
04:45that we've been engaged.
04:46By the time we get married,
04:47I want everyone to be like,
04:48Jesus Christ,
04:49you're finally getting married.
04:50We stay healthy
04:51for the remainder of our year.
04:53Staying healthy.
04:54That's what I said.
04:55Stay healthy.
04:56I just said that.
04:58I keep saying
04:58we're both going to
04:59stay together
05:00until we're over 100.
05:01I hope you do.
05:02Oh.
05:05Relationships are constantly
05:07changing and evolving.
05:09Touching base
05:09and checking in
05:10to see how your partner
05:11is feeling
05:12should happen as often
05:12as you both see fit.
05:14And respecting and loving
05:15each other
05:16through the varying phases
05:17is the key
05:17to making love last.
05:19You have to keep
05:20defining the relationship.
05:22There's never an end point.
05:24It's always a journey.
05:26It's a smooch, smoochie
05:27like we did
05:28in the Celtics game.
05:29What's that?
05:29A smooch
05:30like we did
05:30in the Celtics game.
