00:05Oh my god, where is the spa? There's no cell service.
00:08Stuart, fuck me sideways.
00:10Can you believe that somebody left a human duty in the bushes?
00:13Can you imagine? Thank God for Cole.
00:16He marched out there this morning and he cleaned it up.
00:20I guess you're gonna give me the silent treatment the entire weekend? Is that it?
00:24No, no, no, no, no.
00:25I fully intend to keep talking about the fact that my ex-boyfriend is living with you.
00:30Honey, you have to understand the bigger picture.
00:32I am doing this for you.
00:35I'm helping him stay sober for you.
00:36I gotta take a shit.
00:38You know how many times your father tried to get away from me?
00:41And I'm the one who proposed to him.
00:45I guess I never told you that.
00:47And I insisted we not abort you, so you're welcome.
00:50Let the 48 hours of fun begin.
00:53Ooh, we could get a cup-off massage.
01:04We like to keep it really chill.
01:06Hikes every morning start at 4.30 a.m.
01:11Oh, by the way, Sage, on my itinerary it says that Jessie is my guest, but she's not my guest.
01:16She's my daughter!
01:18That's really cool.
01:19Alright ladies, let's turn in all of our cell phones.
01:22You'll get them back at the end of the weekend.
01:26What?
01:26Thank you, thank you.
01:27Oh yeah, we're an internet-free zone.
01:29So you're here to just completely unplug and connect with your inner bandwidth.
01:34Oh, I'm not interested, but thank you so much.
01:36Oh shit, I have one bar.
01:38Call Stuart.
01:39Stuart!
01:40Great.
01:41No, that's good. Thank you.
01:42I just have an emergency.
01:43I think I'm getting a...
01:44Honey.
01:45Amber alert.
01:46Come here!
01:47Here, wait, I learned a new yoga move.
01:49Right.
01:50Now breathe, and just let go.
01:53Honey, you are addicted, okay?
01:56You need to unwind.
01:57Namaste.
01:59Yeah, you're right.
02:00Why would I want a reminder that I'm a complete and total failure?
02:05Do you want a Luna bar?
02:07Here, let me get you one.
02:09Oh shoot!
02:10I just remembered Cole took the last one.
02:13Stop saying his name! Stop!
02:15Cole?
02:16Stop saying his name, Mom!
02:19I'm sorry.
02:23You know what?
02:24I don't forgive you.
02:26Jessie.
02:27I'm never gonna forgive you.
02:28It's not okay.
02:30I'm gonna go get some fucking kale.
02:32Oh, honey.
02:36Ugh.
02:40Jesus Christ.
02:43Dude, can I get some bread?
02:45Or like, quesadilla or something?
02:47It's a no bread zone.
02:49What?
02:50The meals are silent.
02:52What are you talking about no bre-
02:54I just need like a BLT.
03:10Honey, listen.
03:11I've got great news.
03:12Uh, Mom.
03:13This is a fat camp.
03:15No, no, no.
03:15It's a spa.
03:16I spoke to the camp director.
03:18Mom, there's no bread.
03:19There's no talking during meals.
03:21Everybody looks like they're about to fucking die of starvation.
03:24Honey.
03:24This is totally a fat camp.
03:26Would you listen to me?
03:27Is that why you brought me here?
03:28Because you think I'm fat?
03:29No, no, no.
03:30It's a spa.
03:30Like seriously, Mom.
03:32Honey, it's a spa.
03:33I spoke to the camp director.
03:35And it turns out the class for teaching your dog how to meditate, it's been canceled.
03:39So I put in a good word for you.
03:40And now, it's gonna be an evening with Jessie Kay.
03:45Mom, I don't wanna perform for a bunch of menopausal anorexic yogis, okay?
03:50I thought you said this was supposed to be relaxing.
03:54I'm gonna have to pay for all this food if you don't eat it.
03:57I'm gonna have to pay for this stuff.
04:00All right, ladies.
04:01Who here is ready to cleanse your aura?
04:05You know, maybe you can get your eyebrows done.
04:07I'd love to see an arch on you.
04:13Hey, stranger.
04:14You wanna practice for tonight?
04:16I can't, Mom.
04:17I signed up for a private class.
04:19You're right.
04:20This place is great.
04:20I feel so spiritual.
04:22Let's go.
04:24High knees.
04:24Pick it up.
04:25Make sure you don't wanna practice, though.
04:27I wanna see shaking.
04:28No, Mom.
04:28It's private.
04:29Shaking is your weaker self dying.
04:31Kill it!
04:32Kill it!
04:32Go!
04:33Navel to the motherfucking slime, Jessie!
04:35Go!
04:36Go!
04:37Go!
04:38Go!
04:49Monty Jingle!
05:06Honey, Jessie!
05:09Jessie!
05:10Jessie!
05:12Jessie!
05:13Would you please stop goofing around?
05:15Come on, you've got to get ready for the big gig.
05:18I think there's something really wrong with me, Mom.
05:21I really don't feel good.
05:23Well, you don't look sick.
05:26What are you, pregnant?
05:29Yeah, I let my vibrator come inside me.
05:32Get out of my face.
05:33Charming.
05:34Come on, honey.
05:36I just need to stay here and chill.
05:38I don't get it, Jess.
05:39I spend all of this money so we can have this mother-daughter bonding experience,
05:45and all you've done is run away from me the entire weekend.
05:48Well, all I want to do is show you off to all of my friends.
05:52Show them how funny you are.
05:54It's a captive audience.
05:56It's a win-win.
05:59Please, please, please, please.
06:06Please, please, please.
06:08Please, I'm not getting any younger.
06:11Please, please.
06:13Please, for your menopausal mother, please.
06:16Show them how funny you are.
06:17She's such a psycho.
06:23Um, excuse me?
06:26Yeah.
06:27I'm just looking for the wall.
06:29The wall?
06:29Oh.
06:29Oh, like to pray for Hashem?
06:33No, for the demonstration.
06:35Hey.
06:37Cute guy's here.
06:38Oh, yeah.
06:38Maybe I'll find a Jewish guy after all.
06:40Uh, probably not in these parts.
06:43Really?
06:44This is the West Bank, and we're going to a demonstration against the apartheid wall.
06:51Do you hear that?
06:52They've started.
06:54Is this where I put the note?
06:56No, no.
06:56Don't touch it.
06:57You see the soldiers over there?
06:58If you touch the fence, then they will shoot.
07:01They're kind of cute, though.
07:02Yeah.
07:02Shalom.
07:03Um, can I have diet tear gas?
07:05I'm kind of trying to watch my way.
07:07That was actually nice.
07:12Thank you all so much.
07:14Thanks.
07:15Just a friendly reminder that I have a new book coming out.
07:18If you want to get it, it's available for pre-order.
07:21I also, I mean, I have private clients, but I do some corporate counseling.
07:25Anyhow, by far, the best thing that I have ever produced, my daughter, Jessie Kaye.
07:31Hey.
07:34Thank you, ladies.
07:36Does anyone know how you can get an abortion for a mother?
07:41It's 600 days.
07:42Yes, Sage.
07:44Your work must get a lot of pushback, so how do you deal with all the criticism?
07:48She doesn't get any criticism.
07:50Aren't you worried about your safety, Jessie?
07:52No, no.
07:53It's not real.
07:54It's just a movie.
07:56Okay, well, for me, it feels really reckless.
07:58I'm not reckless.
07:59I'm brave.
08:00Oh, honey, it's not brave.
08:02That's not brave.
08:03I mean, you're hurting yourself to get attention.
08:06Like, God, that makes me so sad.
08:10I feel sorry for you.
08:11Like, I think it's sad that sad that...
08:15I mean, you're hurting yourself to get attention.
08:18Like, okay, I'm sorry.
08:21You know what?
08:21I think it's sad.
08:23You think your daughter is so great.
08:25She's in NASA or whatever.
08:26Like, honey, tell him the story about the hummus.
08:28Tell the story.
08:29And all she did.
08:30Hummus.
08:31What is he?
08:31Hummus.
08:31What is he taking attention?
08:32Like...
08:32Hummus.
08:34Hummus.
08:34Hummus.
08:35Jessie?
08:35Oh.
08:36Hi.
08:37Hi, Dad.
08:38Want you to have a little apple juice?
08:39Honey, are you okay?
08:41I missed you so much.
08:42You're going to be just fine.
08:44She has a really sturdy energy.
08:46Ah, yeah.
08:47Sturdy like I'm fat.
08:49Honey, come on.
08:50Stop that.
08:51But, Jacqueline, you could really stand to put on a pound or two.
08:54Jesus Christ.
08:55Uh-oh.
08:56What is this?
08:57Is this a tumor?
08:58Oh, my God.
08:59You're molesting me now.
09:00Okay.
09:01Honey, I'm really sorry about making you get up there.
09:04I was only trying to help.
09:06I know, Mom.
09:08Oh.
09:09You were doing so well.
09:11Right before you fell, everybody was laughing at you.
09:14Hey.
09:15Here.
09:16I've got a present for you.
09:20Oh, my God.
09:21Thank you so much.
09:23Thank you, Mom.
09:24Here she feels good.
09:25Oh, my God.
09:26Ah.
09:30What?
09:31What's wrong?
09:32I need to borrow your car, okay?
09:34I got to go back.
09:35Okay.
09:36Thank you so much.
09:37Okay.
09:37I love you.
09:37I had a great weekend.
09:39Namaste.
09:40Namaste.
09:40Does it work?
09:41Is it work?
09:41Do we manifest something?
09:57Do we manifest something?
10:07I want you to cry for a little while longer?
10:15I want you to cry for a little while longer.
10:16Although I know I have grown stronger.
10:23I can't pretend to play for a little while longer, but I want to cry for a little while longer.
10:38I want you to cry for a little while longer, but I want you to cry for a little while
10:52longer.
10:54And I don't give you a little while longer, but I don't give you a little while longer than you.
11:24Believe me when I say
11:31Everything, everything will be okay
11:38Maybe not today
11:40But one day
11:44Where are we gonna go? Ta-ta-ta for now!
