00:10Oh, hey sexy.
00:12Don't touch me.
00:14Oh, oh right. We're gonna pretend to break up again.
00:17I'm not pretending. We're done. You're pathetic.
00:22Really? Really?
00:23Look, we both know that for all the empowered woman bullshit that you spew out in the world,
00:29that deep down you're just a scared little girl.
00:31You do not know shit about me.
00:33You're only as sick as your secrets.
00:36I should have let you die that night when you overdosed in Vegas.
00:39That's what I should have done.
00:41Oh really?
00:42Mm-hmm.
00:43Why don't you go back to the fucking bathroom?
00:45Why are you even cooking this fucking food anyway?
00:47We all know what happens, Jessie.
00:49Get the fuck out of here.
00:49It's no secret.
00:50Get the fuck out of here.
00:52Get out!
00:53What?
00:54You fucking pussy.
00:59What?
01:06Let's go.
01:34We're going to find out about race, race in America, racial tension, does race still exist?
01:42Why does every black guy want to have sex with me?
01:44These are life's big questions.
01:46As a fine young black man, would you have sexual relations with me?
01:49You don't have to, but would you?
01:52Yeah.
01:52Would you hit this?
01:53Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:54Okay.
01:55Sure.
01:55Would you hit this?
01:57Yeah?
01:58I'm pretty much a relationship type of person.
02:00So you're like wham bam, let's have a joint checking account ma'am.
02:05I try to stay positive.
02:07I try to stay faithful, spiritual, clean, and honest.
02:15Sounds like a real angry black man to me.
02:18White men don't look at me.
02:20White men look through me.
02:21White men are like, excuse me, get out of the way Filipino boy.
02:24Would you guys hit this?
02:26I'm not going to answer that on camera.
02:27Exhibit A.
02:28Cute, windy, indie white boys with beards fucking hate me.
02:31Is it just like, is it a cultural thing?
02:34No.
02:34Are your standards just lower?
02:36Are you drunk?
02:37Well how would, how does wanting to be involved with you have to do anything about lowering standards?
02:44I mean that's not a compliment to yourself.
02:53What is with all the cryptic text dude?
02:55There she is.
02:57My favorite.
02:58Dude, I already told you I don't need you.
03:01I do not need any penises in my life anymore.
03:04This is good, but save it for the fucking cameras J-Dog.
03:06What cameras?
03:06I heard a voice.
03:09From deep within me alright?
03:10A spirit if you will.
03:11A voice that said pick up the phone Stuart, call Waste.
03:14Explain to them that that little PMS breakdown that you had was simply just an example of your ground breaking
03:19brand.
03:20That you are exactly the fucking person that they need on the front line.
03:24And guess what?
03:25What?
03:26They fucking bought it Jess.
03:28They fucking want you!
03:30They're sending you to the Middle East.
03:31To Pakistan or Palestine, I don't know, one of the fucking Ps.
03:34But they're sending you tonight.
03:36Red eye.
03:36Boom!
03:37And guess what?
03:38I'm going with you J-Dog.
03:40Oh my god!
03:42Alright.
03:44Oh my god.
03:45You little shit.
03:47I don't know what to say.
03:49Listen.
03:50Now that everybody loves you though.
03:52Don't forget you love me.
03:54Everybody loves me?
03:56Come here.
03:58One day this will all be ours.
04:00Go pack your bags Camel Toe.
04:03Oh!
04:04Oh!
04:04Oh!
04:05Oh!
04:05Oh!
04:05Palestine!
04:06Pakistan!
04:11Congratulations!
04:13So listen mom.
04:14I was going through a rough patch.
04:16But things are gonna get better.
04:18Honey better?
04:19What do you mean better?
04:20I am like in such a better place now.
04:23I'm like so good.
04:24Like...
04:24Honey.
04:25What?
04:26You can tell me anything.
04:28Anything.
04:29Okay.
04:30Oh my god.
04:30So here's the thing.
04:33Are you gay?
04:35No.
04:35Mom.
04:36You can be gay.
04:37Everybody's gay now.
04:38And it's alright.
04:39No.
04:40Mom.
04:40Our dog walker is gay.
04:41She's a lesbian.
04:42Although she seems profoundly unhappy but...
04:44Oh my god.
04:45I don't have time to shave.
04:47That doesn't mean that I like pussy.
04:49You know what?
04:49You don't need to listen to grandpa.
04:51Because not everybody needs to have babies and get married right away.
04:56It's not that, Mom.
04:57And you can always freeze your eggs.
04:59I am bulimic.
05:04I don't understand.
05:05I was like a little bulimic.
05:07And now I'm not anymore.
05:10So...
05:10Honey.
05:11You're not bulimic.
05:15I mean it's not like a suggestion.
05:17Well you're just...
05:18You're beautiful.
05:19And you're happy.
05:21And you're successful.
05:22And you're tan.
05:25Ugh.
05:26Mom.
05:26I thought you'd be like happy for me.
05:29Because I'm better now.
05:30Because I got better.
05:32I mean you say to me...
05:35I'm...
05:36I was bulimic.
05:38But now I'm better?
05:40You need to...
05:40Like you need a lesson in how to be a mother right now.
05:43I went through a really hard thing.
05:45I'm better now.
05:46You're proud of me.
05:47Go ahead.
05:52I mean like...
05:54It's like...
05:54Are you like...
05:56Seriously that dumb, Mom?
05:57Like I honestly feel bad for you at this point.
06:00Why are you telling me this?
06:05Forget it, okay?
06:07I shouldn't have said anything.
06:09I'm successful.
06:10I'm happy.
06:11I'm tan.
06:13I have to pee.
06:27I'm happy.
06:27You are the parent.
06:28She is the child.
06:30She's gonna die soon.
06:33Mama.
06:35I need some wine.
06:37Jessie.
06:37It's okay.
06:38I forgive you.
06:40I think you should leave.
06:43Seriously?
06:44Yeah.
06:46I got so much going on here.
06:47on with my book tour coming up and I'm in the middle of the renovation and you're
06:52not the only one with stuff. You know what I mean?
06:59Have a good trip.
07:18Oh, Miss Jessie. Hi. Hola. It's been so long. I've missed you. Do you have any day-old donuts by
07:27chance? I'm going to the homeless shelter so I wanted to drop some off. Oh, you are so sweet. I
07:33love you. Oh. Here you go. God bless you. Jesus loves you.
07:56Jesse, I'm at the gate. Where the fuck are you? I'm on my way. I'm almost there. But you can't
08:01miss this fucking flight, alright? Everybody from Waste is here. Everyone is waiting for you. Dude, chill out. I'll do
08:08it. I'll do it. The plane is boarding. Boarding. Yeah, I can see the airport from here.
08:16Anywhere I go. Fuck.
08:18Alrighty, I'll do it.
08:22Bye.
08:22Bye.
08:32Bye.
08:34Bye.
08:49Run, run, dive into the floor
08:52I could take you where the river goes
08:56Run, run, dive into the floor
08:59I could take you where the river goes
09:04Run, run, dive into the floor
09:07Where are we going to go?
09:08Ta-ta-ta for now!
