00:00There are a lot of narratives that society tries to push on us when it comes to black
00:03women and money.
00:04Ugh.
00:05The welfare queen, or they're like the gold digger who's only after like men's money.
00:10Black women like blow all their money on hair, a lot on hair.
00:13We like to buy clothes and we like to shop.
00:17Like, just old, tired, dry, like, at the end of the day, black women gonna get what they
00:22need to get, however it needs to be.
00:25On a first date, I do expect a gotta pay.
00:27I didn't invite myself out, sorry.
00:30When I was younger, I used to do that little like pump fake thing where I would like fake
00:32like I was touching my wallet.
00:34Now I'm not.
00:35I'm just, you will pay.
00:36I love to pay for dates.
00:37I love to go 50-50.
00:39The person that asks you out on a date should pay.
00:42If you would like to go out with me, you gonna take care of it.
00:46Right?
00:46Yeah.
00:47Yeah, you will.
00:48I want people to comment like, what do you do when someone asks you to pay for a date?
00:52Of course, like by day eight, mama didn't raise no bum.
00:55I don't expect for them to always come out of pocket because that then becomes like dependency.
01:03I dated a man who was a professional athlete.
01:06I would not do that again.
01:08He obviously paid for the bulk of my lifestyle then.
01:12Being in a relationship, I feel as though you should be 100% open with your partner.
01:17But I think we really have to be like gang gang in this relationship for me to open up
01:22and tell you how much I make and what I'm doing with my money.
01:25Yeah, I want to know how much you make.
01:27Not only do I want to know what you make annually, I want to know how much you make per
01:30paycheck
01:31and when your deposits hit.
01:33I mean, honestly, like how are we going to know what we going for if we don't know where
01:38we at?
01:38The men that I'm dating don't need to know how much I'm making or where I'm spending
01:42my money weekly.
01:43There's like no shame in saying like, oh, I can't do this.
01:45This is where I am financially.
01:47We can plan to do things together.
01:48I'm not really that open about my finances in a relationship, but mostly because I don't
01:53want to talk about it.
01:54I'm young, so granted, I'm not making a lot of money anyway, but I absolutely do not care
01:59if I make more than my partner.
02:00If that's an issue for you in a relationship, then you need to get up and be more ambitious and
02:05go get your coin because I'm going to secure my bag regardless.
02:08My biggest like fear is for a man to try to belittle me or degrade me because he thinks
02:16that he makes more money than me.
02:17But I don't think that women who make more than their partner should use it against them.
02:21Living in New York, I know much I make.
02:24It's not a lot.
02:25I wouldn't mind if he made less, but I do want him to want to make more.
02:29When it comes to pre-existing debt, I won't shun a man out for having debt.
02:35You know, people make mistakes.
02:36I just assume everyone has college debt of some sort.
02:39Somewhere within that first half of the year though, I need to know where you stand with
02:43all your finances because I want to be debt free.
02:46But if your debt comes from one career field and you're in another one that say it's not
02:52going to make you the money you need to pay that debt off, then yeah, that's scary and
02:56that's a burden.
02:57But until we say I do, that is your debt baby.
02:59That has nothing to do with me.
03:01If at some point in life I slip and fall and hit my head and decide to move in with
03:06somebody that I'm dating, I'm totally okay with us splitting the bills.
03:10She would like for whoever she's dating to like pay the rent.
03:14You won't talk about the ghetto.
03:15My significant other lived with me because my name was on the lease and I was the one
03:19who was paying rent.
03:20Oh ideally, I would love to split the bills.
03:22I would pay the toys and you would pay the rent now.
03:26Or as someone who like you know is into hair, into nails, into makeup and you know you want
03:30who you're dating to look good, like that's a whole other expense that he doesn't have
03:34to worry about.
03:35I mean, it'll pretty much even out.
03:37It'll both be equal when we're paying for our own bills based on our incomes.
03:43No, rent, we have a mortgage at this point if we're like living together.
03:47Women have given me the best financial advice which is to like make sure that my money is
03:52my money.
03:53I want my money.
03:55Oprah is my financial role model.
03:57My dad always instilled in me financial lessons, financial plans.
04:01I think that black women invest a lot of money in their families which isn't really seen.
04:05Black women, more than any other demographic, are starting businesses, are becoming entrepreneurs
04:11and investing not only in themselves, like in their own communities.
04:14Whatever narrative they're trying to tell, I feel like we're actively rewriting it and
04:19we're powerful and we're doing everything that we're supposed to be doing even though
04:21it's hard, it's an uphill battle, etc, etc.
04:24We're doing the damn thing, so point blank period, that's it.
