00:00I celebrated my birthday last week and turned the big 3-0.
00:05I didn't think much would change, but little did I know,
00:09no one gave me a warning of what would happen next.
00:13That 30 years old came with a list of side effects.
00:17I used to be this energetic, carefree queen.
00:21Now my body is as useful as a soggy magazine.
00:25I make noises as I sit down.
00:28They're even louder getting up.
00:30I've traded in my shot glasses for a liquid medicine cup.
00:35Pulled a muscle just from putting on a clean pillowcase.
00:39Heard my knee pop from bending down to tie my shoelace.
00:42My hips are forecasting the weather better than the news.
00:46My head is aching like it's been trampled by 30 kangaroos.
00:50Is this the rest of my life that I've yet to embrace?
00:53Bringing Advil everywhere simply just in case.
00:57One week in this new decade, I'll take off my late 20s crown.
01:01Even this poem has made me exhausted.
01:03I'm going to go lie down.
01:05Right.
01:06For you.
01:06Poor shit.
01:07It's like a switch, man.
01:09I'm going to go lie down.
01:09I'm going to go lie down.
01:09I'm going to go lie down.
01:09I'm going to go lie down.
01:09I'm going to go lie down.
01:09You
