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00:02Life's not the French Riviera. Believe me, life's not a charity ball. It isn't all a great big bed of
00:14roses. It's not like showbiz, but the main thing I'm supposed to be.
00:20We're not the people of life. Believe me, we know what we're doing for our lives. We may be less
00:31than wealthy, but we're young and healthy. And anyone who's young and healthy knows that that's the way the traffic
00:48flows.
00:52It's on living.
00:56It's on living.
00:57It's on living.
00:58It's on living.
01:05It's on living.
01:17Yes, there were times I'm sure you knew when I bit off more than I could chew.
01:28But through it all, when there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all
01:43and I stood tall and did it my way.
02:01You're beautiful.
02:03Hi, Sonny.
02:05Lois, Lois, Lois. I'd like to kiss you head to toe it. Blow it out, you know it.
02:15Hi, Jan.
02:17Hi.
02:17How's it going? Studying hard?
02:18Oh, yeah. Terrific. Really, really terrific.
02:22Good.
02:22This is the most fun I've ever had before a nervous breakdown.
02:26Uh, Jan, wait.
02:28It's tomorrow, Lois. The exam is tomorrow.
02:30Oh.
02:32What am I doing in college?
02:34There's no way that I can raise a daughter, study all day, wait tables at night. I cannot do it,
02:38Lo.
02:39I'm not Jane Fonda.
02:43I just cannot handle two things at once.
02:45No wonder my husband left me.
02:48Jan, your husband left you for somebody he met at your wedding.
02:54Believe me, this is a man with problems.
02:57Hi.
02:58Hi.
02:59Hi, Cassie.
03:01Hi.
03:02What's the matter?
03:03Uh, you came to work in your outfit?
03:05So?
03:05It is a little suggestive for street wear.
03:08Oh, please.
03:09I just saw a girl roller skating down Sunset Boulevard wearing three medium-sized baggies and a hat.
03:15So don't talk to me about being suggestive.
03:19Thanks for the lift, Manuel.
03:21Hi, Lois.
03:22Hi, Jan.
03:23Hi.
03:23Boy, what a day.
03:24My car overheated on the freeway.
03:26I got oil in my hair.
03:28My radiator leaked all over my dress.
03:30Yeah, well, try not to let it get you down.
03:34Hi, hi, hi.
03:35Pat, hi.
03:37Pat, hi.
03:37How'd it go?
03:37Oh, it was terrific.
03:38I mean, it was incredible.
03:40Absolutely incredible.
03:41Just amazing.
03:42I don't believe it.
03:43Hey, you got the commercial.
03:44Well, maybe, maybe, maybe.
03:45I don't know.
03:46Maybe.
03:46I mean, they really liked me.
03:47I mean, they really, really liked me.
03:48So maybe, I mean, who can tell?
03:50They narrowed it down to four girls and I'm one of them.
03:52Oh, honey, that's wonderful.
03:53Oh, just think.
03:55Next week I could be the new Dodge girl.
03:59You got a better shot at being the new Dodge.
04:03Come on, girls.
04:04I think we better get moving.
04:05Okay.
04:06Wait a minute.
04:07As I remember, you have an exam tomorrow.
04:09As I remember, there's still a dentist convention at the hotel.
04:12400 men flossing before coffee.
04:15Look, we covered for Dot yesterday.
04:17We'll cover it for you today.
04:18Crack those books.
04:19You don't mind?
04:20Why should I mind?
04:21Last night I got my teeth cleaned for free.
04:39Oh, Vicki.
04:41You had a phone call.
04:42Someone named Brad.
04:43Brad?
04:43Yeah, he sounded like a nice guy.
04:45Oh, gosh.
04:47Oh, gee.
04:48Oh, gee.
04:49Oh, gee.
04:49Oh, my goodness.
04:50Debbie Boone.
04:51Debbie Boone.
04:53What's the problem?
04:54Well, he wants me to go away with him for the weekend.
04:58What's up?
04:59Some clown wants to do a no-tow motel with a kid.
05:02It's Palm Springs.
05:03I mean, if I go.
05:04So, what does he do?
05:07His name is Brad.
05:08He's a pilot.
05:09I dated a pilot once.
05:10You dated everything once.
05:12Have you dated anyone twice?
05:15Yeah.
05:16Once.
05:19I can't go away with him.
05:21Why not?
05:22Well, because I never went away with anyone before.
05:25Who are you, Heidi?
05:33Honey, come on.
05:35We're all a little nervous the first time we go off for a weekend with a guy.
05:38We are?
05:39Sure.
05:40I remember the first time I went away with somebody.
05:42You opened the door to the motel room.
05:45And there it was in the middle of the floor.
05:47The bed.
05:47Everywhere you looked, that's all you saw.
05:49We spent the first three hours pretending we didn't notice it.
05:52I hid in the bathroom for the first hour.
05:55You mean you went along with them?
06:02No, Dot.
06:03This was another time.
06:06Hello, lady.
06:08Just stay.
06:12And how are you this evening, girls?
06:14Fine.
06:15Good.
06:17Now, girls, I've noticed that lately a few of you have been putting on a little weight.
06:23Perhaps if you'd let us wear clothes instead of a rubber band, you might not notice it.
06:27I wasn't talking to you, Lois.
06:29Oh, good.
06:30For a second there, I thought she was singling one of us out.
06:33Remember, girls, men want their women to be slim and racy.
06:37Nancy.
06:38Nancy, I'm a waitress, not a Schwinn.
06:41Those of you who want a job here tomorrow, prove it.
07:09Oh, thank God that's over.
07:12You want such a bad group?
07:14Please.
07:15Four out of five dentists recommend I sleep with them.
07:19I'm not here.
07:19I'm here.
07:20I'm right here.
07:21Tell them I'm not here.
07:22I'm nowhere near here.
07:23Hold on.
07:24It's for you.
07:25Bye-bye.
07:26Tell them to call back in five minutes.
07:29Call back in five, heartshot.
07:32What am I going to do?
07:33He's going to want an answer.
07:35Honey.
07:36You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
07:38There's more to a relationship than just sex.
07:43Is it because you just don't know him well enough?
07:45I've known him for three weeks.
07:47But you've never...
07:48No.
07:49You've been hauling out for three weeks?
07:51Who is this guy?
07:51St. Francis?
07:53What am I going to do?
07:54A weekend in Palm Springs.
07:56Hey, it's the same as it is every other time,
07:58except you get to go swimming afterwards.
08:01Yeah.
08:02I'm sure that's true.
08:04Only there hasn't been any other time.
08:11You've never...
08:12Never.
08:14It's the truth.
08:15I'm a virgin.
08:19Yeah, well, that makes 47 of us.
08:21You, me, and the Osmond family.
08:26Vicki.
08:28There's nothing wrong with being a virgin.
08:31Honey, there's nothing to be ashamed of.
08:34We're all virgins until the first time.
08:36That's deep.
08:39Lois, do you remember your first time?
08:42Oh, sure.
08:43It was everything I'd ever heard it was.
08:45He was sweet and caring and attractive.
08:48Well, he was so terrific.
08:49What happened?
08:50I married him.
08:53What about you, Jan?
08:55All the way through high school, I was crazy about this same guy.
08:58Basketball star.
08:59We promised each other we'd wait until after graduation, but of course we didn't.
09:04He was kind, gentle.
09:07One night he told me he loved me more than anything else in his life.
09:11He soothed me, relaxed me.
09:14It was wonderful.
09:16We promised each other we'd never reveal our sacred night together.
09:20That's beautiful.
09:22The next day there was a banner across the boys' gym.
09:24Jan Hoffmeyer does it.
09:29A very sensitive young man.
09:32He became a priest.
09:34It must have been a wonderful experience for him, too.
09:43I can't go through with it.
09:45Vicki, if you don't want to do it, then don't.
09:47I don't know if I don't want to do it.
09:50It spends more than $40 on dinner you're required to by law.
09:55Oh, no!
09:57Vicki, you can always say no.
10:00Right.
10:03Thanks.
10:06Hi!
10:07Listen, I've thought it over, and there's something that you ought to know about me.
10:11I've never slept with anyone before.
10:13I'm a virgin.
10:15What?
10:17Jan, it's your mother.
10:27Hi, Mom.
10:29No, she's serious.
10:33Hi, Mom.
10:42No, she's serious.
10:49I'm here by now.
10:50Jan!
10:51Palm Springs is two hours away.
10:52Vicki, you'll be just fine.
10:53Don't worry.
10:54I just hope nothing bad happens.
10:56If nothing happens, it was bad.
10:57If anything happens, it had to be good.
10:59What if something happens and it wasn't so good?
11:01Never happen.
11:02Even when it's bad, it's good.
11:05Come here, come here, come here, come here.
11:07What?
11:08What?
11:09Oh, Mike, who is your friend?
11:12Oh, I found him dodging cars on the Santa Monica freeway.
11:14I was afraid he was going to get hit, so I picked him up.
11:16Oh, well, you better not let Nancy see him.
11:18Oh, I had to take him to the audition with me.
11:20The producers were not amused.
11:21What happened?
11:22Well, everyone smiled and said,
11:23Oh, what a cute little puppy.
11:25And the producers said,
11:26Okay, let's see what you can do.
11:27And the dog showed him.
11:31Nancy!
11:31Oh, hi!
11:34Right.
11:35I'm a little late.
11:36I'll make it up to you.
11:38I'll paint your house.
11:42Lois, would you excuse us for a few minutes, please?
11:45Oh, of course. I was just leaving.
11:46Hi.
11:47Hi.
11:47Janet, do you remember that little incident that happened on Table 12 Thursday night?
11:52Vaguely.
11:52Yeah, well, they're back.
11:54Fine.
11:54You wait on them.
11:57Their companies do a lot of business with us, and I want you to apologize to them.
12:01Apologize?
12:02To the man that pinched her?
12:03I also think it would be nice if you bought them a round of drinks.
12:06Forget it!
12:07Then I break in a new girl.
12:09Nancy, that's not fair.
12:11Having people cover for her, is that fair?
12:13Coming to work bleary-eyed after studying all night, is that what you call fair?
12:17Oh, no, no.
12:18No, I think we've been more than fair.
12:21That's how I stuff the old tomato.
12:23How do you stuff it?
12:30Well, here's one of our own lovely little lovelies.
12:34Let's have a warm round of applause for...
12:36Ta!
12:40Sonny would never be blue if he could spend the night with you.
12:44Because when Sonny gets blue...
12:54Gentlemen, you remember Janet.
12:56Oh, well, how do you do?
12:58Gentlemen, Janet has brought you this round of drinks, and would like to apologize for her behavior the other night.
13:05Isn't that true, Janet?
13:08I... I am very sorry about the way that I acted.
13:11It was rude, and unprofessional, and I'd just like to say...
13:17That's it!
13:19Get up!
13:20And get out!
13:22And you too!
13:23Come on!
13:24Get out of here!
13:25Come on!
13:26Let's move it!
13:27Heads right up!
13:29And stay out!
13:31I know!
13:32I know!
13:32Oh!
13:33Oh!
13:33Don't say a word!
13:34No, no, don't say a word!
13:35I'll just go clean up my locker.
13:36Hey, I'm gone!
13:38No, no, no!
13:38No problem!
13:40Let me take a minute.
13:42I'll have one of the girls bring back my uniform in the morning.
13:44I don't know how to say it.
13:45I suppose a glowing reference is out of the question, huh?
13:48Never.
13:48Okay, yeah, that's what I figured.
13:50Well...
13:51Listen, I won't mention your name at the unemployment office.
13:53Yes.
13:55Well...
13:56Uh...
13:57That about does it.
13:58I'm packed.
14:00Uh...
14:01So long.
14:04Kiss the girls goodbye for me, huh?
14:07I have never experienced anything like that in my life before.
14:11And then you...
14:11I guess throwing them out into the street was unaccountable and irresponsible.
14:14Yes.
14:15Yes, it was.
14:16You should have beaten the living hell out of them first.
14:21Janet, I...
14:22I'm sorry.
14:24Uh...
14:24It...
14:24Isn't easy for me to say this, but, uh...
14:27I am sorry.
14:31Uh...
14:32Look, uh...
14:33Maybe you could drop by my house some afternoon and...
14:36And we could have lunch, you know, and chat and...
14:39Well, that would be very nice.
14:41And I could teach you how to wear makeup.
14:46Thank you, Nancy.
14:51Hey.
14:52Is everything okay?
14:53Oh, did you get fired?
14:55Can I have your locker?
14:57Everything's okay.
14:59Everything's...
14:59Wonderful.
15:01Oh, good.
15:03Hello?
15:04It's my agent.
15:06Yes?
15:08Yes?
15:09What?
15:11Oh!
15:12Oh, sure.
15:13No, that...
15:14That'll be fine.
15:16Bye.
15:18Well?
15:19You got the commercial.
15:20The dog got it.
15:24The dog's gonna be the new Dodge Girl?
15:26They liked the dog, so they hired him for a dog food commercial.
15:31Well, Doc, that's wonderful.
15:33It is?
15:34Sure, she's gonna make a lot of money.
15:35True.
15:37Maybe I'll get to meet Lauren Green.
15:41Hi.
15:43Vicki.
15:44Hi.
15:44Well, did you?
15:45Cassie.
15:46I had a very nice time.
15:49Good.
15:50Well, how was it?
15:52How was what?
15:53It.
15:54Oh, real nice.
15:57They had paddle tennis.
15:58I never played paddle tennis.
16:00Vicki, we're not talking paddle tennis.
16:03We're talking grit.
16:04How was it?
16:07Incredible.
16:08May I ask where all my waitresses are?
16:11Dot's dog got a commercial.
16:12And Vicki lost to Lorenzo.
16:14Oh.
16:15Well, check with the bartender.
16:16Maybe somebody turned it in.
16:25Vicki, what's the matter?
16:28I don't know.
16:32You wanna talk about it?
16:34Was it disappointing?
16:36It was wonderful.
16:38I had a great time.
16:39And I think I love him.
16:42Then why are you so unhappy?
16:45Because I have the feeling that he's never gonna wanna see me again.
16:53Sweetie.
17:00Honey.
17:01Honey, honey, honey, listen.
17:03The reason he called you Squirrel Face is because he likes you.
17:08Well, yeah, that's how 13-year-old boys are.
17:11So why don't you just...
17:12Yeah, just apologize to him and tell his mother I'll buy him a new retainer.
17:17All right.
17:18Kiss your brother for me and tell daddy I won't be late.
17:20All right, sweetie.
17:21I love you.
17:22Ah, young love.
17:26Vicki, hi.
17:27Vicki.
17:27Hi.
17:28Hi, Vicki.
17:31Nothing, huh?
17:33No.
17:34Listen, there's probably a hundred very good reasons why he hasn't called.
17:38Sure, I mean, the guy's a pilot.
17:40Maybe he forgot what city he lived in.
17:42They all look alike from up there.
17:45I'll cover the tables.
17:50Why don't you just call him?
17:52Call him?
17:53Mm-hmm.
17:53Me call him?
17:54Never.
17:55I have my pride.
17:56Then he has your Lorenzo.
18:00You do not have pride.
18:02Right now what you have is self-pity.
18:04If you had any pride, you'd pick up the phone and say,
18:06Hey, what the hell's going on here?
18:07You really think so?
18:09Absolutely.
18:11Good.
18:24It's ringing.
18:27He's probably not even...
18:28Hello, Brad.
18:29Vicki!
18:30Hi, how are you?
18:32Good.
18:33I'm okay, too.
18:36Oh, oh, um, well, when you didn't call, I wondered...
18:43Right.
18:44Well, as long as you're okay.
18:48So, uh, right.
18:51Well, I hope I run into you, too, sometime.
18:54Bye.
19:01Bye.
19:02Oh, hey.
19:04You did good.
19:05I don't feel good.
19:07Now, you were terrific.
19:09Listen, listen.
19:10No matter what you feel right now, what happened to you was very special.
19:17Oh, Lois, that's just it.
19:19Nothing happened.
19:20What do you mean?
19:21I mean nothing.
19:23Well, no wonder he split.
19:25Poor guy was beating a dead horse.
19:33I just couldn't.
19:34I mean, as crazy as I was about him, I don't know.
19:39It just...
19:40It didn't feel right.
19:42Oh, Lois, I feel so dumb.
19:45Dumb?
19:46Honey, you listen to yourself.
19:48That's not dumb.
19:49Believe me.
19:51Somehow that doesn't help.
19:53Look, when I left for my weekend, I mean, I knew it was right.
19:58It wouldn't have made any difference what anyone else said or felt.
20:02He was the one.
20:03And when that time comes for you, you'll know.
20:07How?
20:09I can't tell you that.
20:11Nobody can.
20:12You just gotta trust yourself.
20:14And your feelings.
20:16Because when it feels right, it'll be wonderful.
20:20And if the guy's worth a damn, he'll wait.
20:23Oh, Lois, I love you.
20:25I see.
20:27You're kidding.
20:30I love all of you.
20:33Excuse me.
20:34I realize you're going through a heavy thing and everything, but I'm dying out here.
20:40You just gotta keep in mind, but I balance it.
20:47You're not the people tonight.
20:49You're not the people tonight.
20:49I need to be on the street.
20:50It's a living is videotaped before a studio audience.
20:53We're doing a little scary thing again.
20:55One who's young and healthy knows that that's the way the traffic blows.
21:08It's a living.
21:26It's a living.