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00:19God, you're beautiful.
00:25Hi, Lowell.
00:26I was just talking to the plane.
00:31See, pilots feel sort of special about their planes.
00:36Incredible.
00:38I know it sounds crazy, but if you put your hands like so,
00:43you can almost feel her pushing ever so slightly upward,
00:46like she's straining to get in the air.
00:48Can't say I blame her.
00:50When you're up there, you're looking down,
00:53everything sort of makes sense.
00:55Well, not in an intellectual way, but kind of spiritually.
00:59It never fails.
01:00Every time I fly, I come back a little sure there's a God.
01:05I go down to the dump and shoot rats.
01:10Then you do understand.
01:11I go down to the dump.
01:55¶¶
02:11Announcing the arrival of Sandpiper Air Flight 26,
02:14non-stop service from Boston to our lovely island of Nantucket.
02:18For those of you going out to greet arriving passengers,
02:21we've learned, due to one particularly nasty incident,
02:24that it's best to wait for the propellers to come to a complete stop.
02:29Thanks for flying, Sandpiper Air.
02:31Hi, there.
02:31Hi, Joe.
02:32How much time do I have to the next flight?
02:33It's your airline, Joe. You can leave any time.
02:36But the schedule says seven minutes.
02:37You've got six passengers and a crate of lobsters that have to be delivered alive.
02:41The lobsters, not the people.
02:43Although I'm sure the people would appreciate it, too.
02:46I haven't lost one yet. Load them up. I'm going to grab a quick bite.
02:49Hey, Hackett.
02:50What, Roy?
02:51They delivered this to my airline by mistake.
02:53Oh, thanks.
02:54It's from some lawyers. What'd you do wrong?
02:56I didn't do anything wrong.
02:57The hell you didn't.
02:58You parked so close to my El Camino last night, I had to crawl in on the passenger side.
03:03That gear shift and I had a moment I'll never forget.
03:06Hey, Roy, when did you get this?
03:08I don't know. It was last week sometime.
03:09Look, unlike you, Hackett, I'm running a big operation here.
03:12Check the tarmac, buddy.
03:13I got six planes. You got one.
03:14I don't have time to play post-off.
03:15Damn it, Roy, this could be important.
03:17Right back it, right?
03:18But there you get an important piece of mail, I'll kiss you behind in the town square at high noon.
03:22Giving up on those dollar dates, Roy?
03:26Hi, Helen. I'd like a BLT, four slices of bacon, extra crisp, whole wheat, lightly toasted, mustard on top, mayonnaise
03:32on the bottom, and two pickles on the side.
03:36How did you know I was going to order that?
03:38It's Tuesday. You always order that on Tuesday.
03:39For your information, today happens to be...
03:42Well, this looks good.
03:46Whoa.
03:47What you got?
03:48That's a letter from the lawyer who handled things when my dad died.
03:50He was instructed to send this package to me when the estate was finally settled.
03:53Well, open it.
03:54Well, it's a catch.
03:55This letter says I'm only supposed to open it with my brother.
03:58Well, that's that.
03:59What?
04:00Well, I know you're not going to call him.
04:01You haven't talked to your brother for six years.
04:03That is a long time to hold a grudge.
04:05Well, not for you, but maybe for the average person.
04:07I do not hold a grudge.
04:08You've always said that about me ever since we were kids.
04:11And quite frankly, I've always resented it.
04:15I think it's about time that you got over the fact that Carol the pig dumped you and married your
04:19brother.
04:21Carol is not a pig, and I am over it.
04:23I didn't know you had a brother, Joe.
04:25Well, he's not so much a brother as he is a piece of popcorn stuck between my teeth for the
04:28last 28 years.
04:29We're not very close.
04:30I went my way and Brian went his.
04:32With a pig?
04:32Stop saying that.
04:34I will if you call him.
04:35No way.
04:36All right, how old was I when I moved out here from Texas?
04:37I don't know.
04:38What, ten?
04:38What?
04:39Okay, I think we've been friends long enough that I can say to you, just between the two of us,
04:42call your brother the pig.
04:47All right, all right, I'll call him.
04:49Good.
04:49Good for you, Joe.
04:50It's not important whether your brother married a pig or didn't marry a pig.
04:54She is not a pig.
04:55What's important is that you should honor your father's last words.
04:58Well, actually, I'm not honoring his last words.
05:00I'm honoring his last wishes.
05:01His last words were, sit on my lap, Edie.
05:05He thought I was Edie Gourmet.
05:11I don't know.
05:12I gave it a shot.
05:13And I'm here to tell you something.
05:15Deborah Norville doesn't have the humanity Jane Polly had.
05:19She's gone, Roy.
05:20She's gone.
05:21We go through this every day.
05:22Jane had 13 good years, but now she's gone.
05:24Now get over it.
05:26I know that up here, doggone it, but how do you fill the void in here?
05:31How about a jelly donut?
05:32Jane who?
05:35Excuse me.
05:36Excuse me.
05:36Hi.
05:36I'm looking for the owner of Aeromass Airlines.
05:38I've got to shake his hand.
05:39Oh.
05:40That'd be me.
05:43Roy Biggins.
05:44Hi.
05:44And you are, uh...
05:45Call me Brian.
05:46Brian.
05:46I just came off one of your flights, and sir, you are a genius.
05:49I am?
05:49Oh, you bet you are.
05:50I mean, I've heard of some creative cost cutting measures before, but getting rid of
05:52the life jackets, it's inspired.
05:55Sure, tell them they're under the seats, but nobody ever checks, so why have them?
05:57They are, too, under the seats.
05:58Oh, sure they are.
05:59Sure they are.
05:59Oh, and getting a pilot fresh out of flight school must have saved you some serious coin,
06:02huh?
06:03Nice kid, too.
06:04Had a couple of drinks with him before the flight.
06:07It's too bad about that eye operation, though, but like he said, how often you have to look
06:09left, anyway.
06:11Folks, folks, it's not true.
06:12Folks, it's not true.
06:13I see you've managed to slip in unnoticed.
06:16Joey!
06:17Do you know this guy?
06:19I'm afraid so.
06:20He's my brother.
06:20Roy Biggins, Brian Hackett.
06:22Pleasure.
06:22Hey, Sansa, belt, slacks.
06:24Boy, you missed one issue of GQ in the fashion world, just passage you by.
06:29Keep this guy away from me.
06:30No, folks, folks.
06:36Been too long, Joe.
06:37Yeah.
06:37Yeah.
06:38So, how you been?
06:39Fine, Brian, and you.
06:40Fine, Brian, and you.
06:41Fine, Brian, and you.
06:42Please, Joe, too much warmth.
06:43You're embarrassing me.
06:45This place never changes.
06:46You, uh, you look a little tired.
06:48Oh, no, I'm fine.
06:49Hey, I know you, Joe.
06:50You're the best pilot around, but you're doing too much.
06:52You're running the office.
06:53You're flying the planes.
06:54You keep this pace up, you can end up like Howard Hughes, locked in a hotel room, sitting
06:57on Kleenex, sucking applesauce through a straw.
07:01Isn't that something?
07:02All that money in his hobbies are the same as mine.
07:07Really?
07:09He also used to collect toenail clippings and keep them in a mason jar.
07:12This is uncanny.
07:16Who's that?
07:17That's Lowell Mather.
07:18He's sort of a jack-of-all-trades around here.
07:20His family's lived on the island for five generations.
07:21Huh.
07:22Probably in the same room.
07:23Well, shall we get down to business and find out what poppin' us?
07:26Hey, Brian!
07:28Helen?
07:30Helen Chappell?
07:31Oh, my God!
07:32You look fantastic!
07:33You've lost a lot of weight.
07:34Oh, I have not.
07:35Maybe a pound or two, or sixty.
07:39Come on, Brian.
07:40Helen's busy.
07:41No, it's okay.
07:41Well, you're looking pretty good yourself.
07:42What have you been doing?
07:43I'm down in the Caribbean, flying charter for the rich and famous.
07:45Business is picking up, although the Noriega Spring barbecue looks a little iffy.
07:52What are you still doing here?
07:53I thought the cello of yours was going to get you off this rock.
07:54One day it will.
07:55I practice all the time.
07:56I go to my auditions.
07:58You know, in the meantime, I'm here.
07:59Brian, now.
08:01Hey, Joey, uh, are you and Helen, uh, mm, you know, of course not.
08:05We're friends.
08:06Are you kidding me?
08:06We're with a good body.
08:07Brian, how can you think of her that way?
08:09She's practically family.
08:10She's like a baby sister.
08:11Yeah, you're right.
08:12I think it's time I gave that little tack a bath.
08:16Ah, same old Joe.
08:17Need us a pin and everything at right angle.
08:19It's called having your life in order.
08:21You ought to try it sometime.
08:26So, how's the girl?
08:27Fine.
08:28Fine.
08:29She sends her love.
08:32Uh, about Carol, are we okay here?
08:36Well, now that you mention it, yeah, we're okay.
08:41Aren't we okay?
08:42I'm okay.
08:42I'm okay.
08:43Okay.
08:43That was fun.
08:47Here.
08:48It's our legacy from Pop.
08:49I guess one of his get-rich-quick schemes finally paid off, huh?
08:52You're not serious.
08:53I'm very serious, Joe.
08:54Apparently Pop was loaded.
08:55What makes you think that?
08:57The, uh, the phone call.
08:59What phone call?
09:00Oh, dear.
09:02You have a little sign on this drawer that says empty.
09:04Like, you can't pull it open and see that?
09:08What phone call?
09:09I mean, you actually took the time to label it?
09:11This is heavy.
09:12Does the word anal mean anything to you?
09:15At this moment, it has a very special meaning.
09:45This hurts me, Joe.
09:47Usually, the market hires them.
09:48Come on.
09:50Now, Joey, this is it.
09:51Payday.
09:52Here we go.
09:53You're setting yourself up for a big disappointment.
09:54We of little faith.
09:59It's a key.
10:00I told you not to get your hopes up.
10:01To a safe deposit box in the First National Bank of Nantucket.
10:06We're rich.
10:08We're rich.
10:09We're rich.
10:12Go warm up the car.
10:13I gotta make a quick phone call.
10:14We're rich.
10:17Be there, be there, be there.
10:18Please, please, please.
10:19Oh.
10:21Wait for the beep.
10:22Hi, Carol, it's me.
10:23Look, I know the judge told me not to bother you anymore.
10:26Actually, he told me not to bother him anymore, too.
10:28But I just want you to know that it looks like I'm about to come into a few bucks,
10:31and when you're ready to come back, the door's open.
10:35I miss you, Carol.
10:37And I really want you to know that...
10:39Great, now a machine's hanging up on me.
10:46This will kill me.
10:53Stand back.
10:54Clear the deck.
10:55Rich guys coming through.
10:56What'd you get?
10:57Well, this was in the safe deposit box, but there was no way to get inside it.
11:00Lowell, give me a screwdriver.
11:01Well, okay, but be careful.
11:03Now, you're not in any kind of antihistamines, are you?
11:10That's another key.
11:11I hope you don't mind me saying this, and I mean it in the nicest possible way,
11:15but your father was really jerking you around.
11:18This one's to a post office box in Boston.
11:20What are we waiting for?
11:21Let's go.
11:22Brian, this is starting to seem like a waste of time.
11:24Don't throw the towel in now.
11:25You remember Dad said you're rich.
11:26Well, I do have a flight leaving for Boston in a few minutes.
11:28That's the spirit.
11:29We can't get sidetracked now again.
11:31We've got to keep our eyes on the prize.
11:32Oh, Major Hooters, we can't lift the...
11:33What did you say?
11:35Major Hooters, Major Bob Hooters, U.S. Air Force, that's your service.
11:38Uh-oh.
11:39Don't scramble.
11:39Red alert.
11:40Rest easy tonight, little lady.
11:41Our boys are in the air.
11:42And so are yours.
11:49I hate to say I told you so.
11:50Don't start.
11:51Don't start.
11:51Spend five hours traipsing all over Boston on some wild goose chase,
11:54and what do we end up with?
11:56Excuse me, is there a problem?
11:57Everything's fine.
12:00Just sit back and enjoy the flight.
12:03Nantucket Tower, this is Sandpiper 28.
12:05Final approach, fix incoming.
12:07Sandpiper 28, Nantucket.
12:08You're clear to land.
12:09Sandpiper 28, Roger.
12:12Look, there's no reason to get upset.
12:13I want to get upset.
12:14I like to get upset.
12:16Getting upset makes me happy.
12:18You ought to try it sometime.
12:19You're sure everything's okay?
12:20Of course.
12:21Look, it's not like we lost anything.
12:22We have a lot to be thankful for.
12:24After all, we've got...
12:25Joe, if you're going to say we've got our health,
12:26I'm going to have to hurt you.
12:28I wasn't going to say that.
12:30Although we do.
12:33I was going to say we've got our jobs.
12:35I've still got the airline,
12:36and you're still flying charter.
12:38You do still fly for that charter company.
12:41You don't, do you?
12:42You got canned.
12:43It was a crummy job anyway.
12:45Actually, I was kind of hoping
12:46you might need an extra pilot.
12:47Are you kidding?
12:48Hire you?
12:49I'd rather crash this plane.
12:51You need a job?
12:52I'll hire you.
12:58How do you do it, Brian?
12:59How do you manage to blow
13:00every single opportunity you've ever had?
13:01It's a gift?
13:02You know, you're smart.
13:03You get a free ride to Princeton.
13:04What do you do?
13:05You quit.
13:05And what about NASA?
13:06You're one of the youngest people
13:07ever accepted to the space program,
13:08and you washed out
13:09on the second day of orientation.
13:10You could have been an astronaut,
13:11for God's sake.
13:12Yeah, like I'm supposed to know
13:13you couldn't bring dates
13:13into the shuttle simulator.
13:16God, I wish I had the advantages
13:17that you had, but
13:18someone had to hold down the fort.
13:20Oh, no.
13:20No, you don't, Joe.
13:21They've already done this movie.
13:22Remember the one where
13:22poor old Jimmy Stewart
13:23has to stay home and save the bank
13:24while his brother gets to go off
13:25and do these exciting things?
13:26Remember that movie, Joe?
13:27Yeah, It's a Wonderful Life.
13:27That's right, Joe.
13:28Well, this is in the movies,
13:29and from where I sit,
13:29Jimmy Stewart was a sap.
13:31He...
13:31I'll give us a second, will you?
13:33He could have left us
13:34if you wanted to,
13:34and so could Joe,
13:35but you didn't.
13:35You stayed home,
13:36and you took care of Pop.
13:37Good old St. Joe.
13:38Now stop it right there, Brian.
13:38Solid citizen, Joe.
13:39He always does the right thing.
13:40You know, I bet you don't even
13:41tear that stupid tag off the mattress.
13:42It says do not remove.
13:44I know it.
13:45Excuse me.
13:45And you know what else I think?
13:46I think you used Pop as an excuse
13:48because you didn't have the guts
13:49to go out and do what I did.
13:50What, fall flat on your face?
13:51At least I wasn't afraid of failing.
13:53Obviously not.
13:54Excuse me.
13:54What, for God's sake?
13:55Weren't we supposed to land back there?
13:58Oh.
13:59Look, I'm the pilot,
14:00and I'll decide when to land this aircraft.
14:03Okay, now.
14:13Hey, what the hell's going on?
14:18I'll tell you what's going on.
14:20That key opened up a safe deposit box,
14:21which had a key for another bank,
14:23which led to another key to another bank,
14:24which led to two bus stations,
14:26a post office,
14:26a train depot,
14:27and a kennel.
14:28You want to know what we found?
14:29Another key.
14:31And you want to know where it goes?
14:32I'll tell you where it goes.
14:33We don't know where it goes.
14:35That's where it goes.
14:37Come all the way back here,
14:38and what do I end up with?
14:39Not a Zippo Zero Zelt.
14:41With nothing.
14:44You've got Carol.
14:47Oh, so now we get to it, huh?
14:51I thought you said you were over that.
14:54Over you stealing the love of my life from me.
14:55I didn't steal her.
14:56She came after me.
14:57Oh, come off it.
14:58Carol doesn't have a deceptive bone in her body.
15:01She's kind,
15:02and good,
15:03and honest,
15:04and you stole her from me,
15:05and it hurts.
15:06It hurts bad.
15:07I don't think you could ever know how much.
15:12She left me for another guy.
15:14She left you, too?
15:15Yeah.
15:17That pig!
15:21Okay, I'll give you that.
15:23That she was my pig.
15:25Well, at least the other guy wasn't your brother.
15:28Yeah, yeah.
15:28My brother would never have done that to me.
15:32I kind of thought if Pop left us some money,
15:34she might want to come back.
15:38Hey, listen, Joe.
15:39No matter whose fault it was,
15:42if losing Carol made you feel the way I felt since she's left,
15:45then I'm...
15:46I'm really, really sorry.
15:53Well,
15:54places to go, people to see.
15:55Bye.
15:57Get me on the next flight to Morocco.
15:59We've got one going to Hartford right now.
16:00Close enough.
16:02Offering that man a job with my airline
16:03would be the stupidest thing I could do.
16:05He's totally unreliable,
16:06never be on time,
16:07he'd do nothing but try my patience.
16:09Now, Hustle, why are you going to do it?
16:10I haven't the slightest idea.
16:13Uh,
16:14Brian,
16:17if you're still interested in working with me,
16:19I could always use a good pilot.
16:20Hey, uh,
16:20thanks, Joe.
16:21I appreciate it,
16:22but I don't take jobs out of pity.
16:23Take it easy.
16:24Oh,
16:25and do yourself a favor.
16:26Lighten up a little.
16:28I'll try to.
16:29I don't want to
16:30end up sitting on Howard Hughes' Kleenex.
16:34Joe Hackett,
16:34one of the world's true funny men.
16:37See you around,
16:38baggy pants.
16:40Say,
16:40I recognize this key.
16:41It opens one of our lockers.
16:43Oh,
16:43I don't believe it.
16:44Hey,
16:45Lowell,
16:45see if this fits number five.
16:48Hang on,
16:48Mom.
16:54There's a suitcase in here.
16:55You want it?
16:55Yes.
16:56Okay.
17:00I'd like it duly noted
17:01that this scratch was on the suitcase.
17:04Whoa!
17:07Okay.
17:08Now,
17:09remember,
17:09Brian,
17:10whatever's in this suitcase
17:11is split in two.
17:12What if it's a puppy?
17:15Brian,
17:16it's been a long day.
17:19I'll open it already.
17:20Okay,
17:20you ready?
17:21Ready.
17:21Here we go.
17:28What does this mean?
17:30Well,
17:30for one thing,
17:31it means pop's funnier dead
17:32than you are alive.
17:35Wait a minute,
17:36there's something else in here.
17:37Whoa.
17:38It's a picture of you and me
17:39when we were kids.
17:40Swimming at Gibbs Pond.
17:41Look,
17:41we're together
17:42and we're both smiling.
17:43I think it's the last time
17:43that happened.
17:45Hey,
17:45Dad wrote something
17:46on the back.
17:49You're rich.
17:51So,
17:51this whole wild goose chase...
17:53I guess
17:53maybe Dad just wanted
17:54us to spend some time together.
17:56Yeah,
17:56I guess maybe
17:57Dad wasn't as crazy
17:58as we thought,
17:58huh?
18:02Announcing
18:02final boarding
18:03for Aeromass
18:05flight 17
18:06to Hartford.
18:07That means you,
18:08Hackett.
18:10Wait a minute.
18:12Hey,
18:13do you mind if I keep this?
18:14It's a great picture of me.
18:15What's wrong with me?
18:16What,
18:16besides those swimming trumps
18:17up around your armpits?
18:18Is that job offer still good?
18:20My swimming trunks?
18:21What about that doofus haircut?
18:22You can start tomorrow.
18:23Yeah,
18:23great.
18:24And look at those ears.
18:24They look like hubcaps.
18:26What is that
18:26big round thing in the water?
18:28What a whale get in Gibbs Pond.
18:30A whale?
18:32Good Lord.
18:33That's me.
18:34That's me.
18:35Good Lord.
18:37Good Lord.
19:03Sovereign,