00:16Aaaaaah!
00:19AAAAAAAAH!
00:20I don't get hurt!
00:22WOOOOOOO!!!
00:23I don't get hurt!
00:29Something about him, something that set him apart from the others.
00:35He was different somehow.
00:39I was afraid, then seduced, then intrigued, then in a car.
00:52I never had a chance.
01:00Hey, whoa, I'm all right.
01:04Yeah, this room should work, this is science-y enough.
01:08Um, hello.
01:10The deer.
01:13Who of us can know what it truly means to be a deer?
01:16To run through the woods and risk getting hit by a car out by the...
01:22Oralepid!
01:24My dad hit a deer once when we were driving.
01:27It's a bad scene.
01:29But from that tragedy, can we find a way...
01:34Okay, I'm sorry.
01:36Screw it.
01:38This episode is about recreation.
01:41This is Future Humanity!
01:56Now we travel from the present, when I'm saying these words, to the near future.
02:00When I finish this sentence by saying, I am Michael Dorn, to the distant future, where I am a skeleton.
02:06This is Future Manity, with James Urbaniac.
02:10I'm Michael Dorn.
02:13Oh, hello.
02:14I'm...
02:20Americans enjoy all manner of recreational pursuits.
02:23From baseball, to hot dogs, to dropping things.
02:26But how will we pass the idle moments until our death, in the future?
02:31I will now consult the mystical sphere of experts.
02:36Oh.
02:37Boring.
02:40Tedious.
02:41Must hear himself talk.
02:44Oh my God, what a butthole.
02:46We can hear you in here.
02:47Excellent choice, mystical sphere.
02:50Dr. Sandra Rosen.
02:52During my chat with Stanford University's leading phonologist, Dr. Sandra Rosen, I learned that the future of recreation will be
02:59a lot of hard work.
03:00And hard fun.
03:02Much as modern day Israel makes military service compulsory, in the year 2023, it will be every American citizen's patriotic
03:11duty to serve in the pro wrestling ring from ages 18 to 20.
03:16You mean America's youth would provide a non-stop, bone-crunching cavalcade of no-holds-barred action?
03:22Yes.
03:23It will be necessary to keep the legions of no-good heels at bay.
03:27So, in the future, I could become a pro wrestler.
03:30Oh, well, there's an age restriction.
03:32So, actually, the age used to be...
03:34Oh, I got it.
03:35I would be the Urbaniac.
03:37With unbelievable strength, he fights for his one true love.
03:40Clara, I will defeat them all.
03:42The doctor of lies, the evil agent of insurance, even that handsome young iron lung technician, Richard!
03:48I will defeat them all with my folding chair of true love!
03:52Um, the government will give you your wrestling identity. You don't get to choose.
03:58Oh.
04:00But...
04:01One can...
04:03One can dream.
04:04One can dream.
04:10Though I sat atop the waterslide of future recreation, I had only urinated and not yet taken the plunge.
04:17Perhaps my assistant, Janet, could help make the topic of fun even more boring.
04:23Motor oil?
04:24Yes.
04:25For the wild motorboats.
04:27Wild motorboats?
04:29Experts believe that in the future, not all abandoned motorboats will sink to the bottom.
04:33Some will become feral and gather in pods, frolicking around inlets and desert islands.
04:38Some plucky entrepreneurs could take people out there to swim with them.
04:41Precisely.
04:42Although they are mostly docile, some motorboats could get confused and try to mate with swimmers, resulting in a dismembered
04:49manner of death.
04:49Well, wild motorboats are still wild.
05:07What do you think the future of recreation will be?
05:10I think the future of recreation is going to be, you know, grabbing some food, playing video games, and maybe
05:18call my buddy Arnie.
05:20Will the future of recreation involve some hybrid of hunting and racquetball and trolley tours?
05:26One would assume.
05:27But only one James Urbaniak knows for sure.
05:31Future James Urbaniak.
05:38Hello, future James. You look as if you've come from camp.
05:41Many of our finest days were spent at hosting camp.
05:44Yes, but I come from the fantasy camp of the future.
05:48I speak, of course, of porn camp.
05:51You can be a fluffer, a cameraman, or even a mob-connected producer.
05:56During the final week, they bring in actual porn actors to help make your film really come to life.
06:03How wonderful! But how do you...
06:08My dream comes true! The crazed earth maniac!
06:12Apparently I've bulked up, and I've killed a version of myself at another time.
06:17There is much I still do not understand, but still...
06:22Fascinating!
06:22The world of futuristic recreation looks to be an interesting one.
06:29Yes, sir.
06:31Full of an array of entertaining and fascinatingly futuristic things.
06:37I grab nothing.
06:40I thought I could improvise this time, but apparently I can't.
06:44So we've learned that about me.
06:47I'm James Urbaniak, and I'll see you in the future.
06:52Fine, don't give me that look. I don't need the look, okay?
06:55It didn't work. I don't need the look.
06:57We'll do another one, right?
06:59My dad hit it here once.
07:03It was a bad scene.
07:11It was a bad scene.
07:12I think, you know, everything has been to look good.
07:12You're just that.
07:12You
