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00:00I love the donuts!
00:01I love the donuts!
00:04Everybody shut up!
00:07I'll have to get back to you.
00:09Guys!
00:11Hey, there's no donuts.
00:13And you didn't buy any more?
00:15Did it ever occur to you
00:17that I might not have time to fulfill all your snacking needs
00:20because there might be something more important going on in my life?
00:24Yeah, right.
00:28I'm trying to finish my application to graduate school.
00:31I thought you were already in graduate school.
00:33Me too.
00:35I can't believe you guys.
00:37I've been taking undergraduate courses since September.
00:40You have no idea what I've been doing in school?
00:43Well, your teacher didn't send home any notes.
00:48We assumed everything was fine.
00:52Look, if you're not going to care about my life,
00:55would you just not care about my life quietly for a few days?
00:59You got it, Mom.
01:00No, Grandma, Mom's not here.
01:02Yeah, she's having lunch with Aunt Nancy.
01:05Alright, I'll give her the message.
01:10Okay, Grandma, I'm writing it down right now.
01:14Okay, love you too.
01:22Sherman's bar mitzvah's already over?
01:24No, but for me it's in limbo.
01:27What do you mean?
01:29I, uh, split my pants too in the limbo.
01:34Oh, where's Mom?
01:35I need her to sew these back up so I can get back to the party.
01:38She's not here.
01:40What am I going to do?
01:41I don't know.
01:42I know.
01:43Staple me shut.
02:05I hate to pry, fellas.
02:08What are you doing?
02:10Randy split his pants doing the limbo.
02:12And using a stapler to fix it?
02:15That's material on human flesh back there, pal.
02:18Let me get my hot glue gun.
02:22So long, Dad.
02:24Wait, wait.
02:24I'm not done yet.
02:25It goes in the vent, but it doesn't.
02:27You can lift it up just.
02:28Better up.
02:29Oh, Mom's home.
02:30Clean up mode.
02:35Hey, Mom.
02:36How was your day?
02:39It was fine until I went into the student lounge and saw a bunch of people watching Tool
02:43Time.
02:44You didn't notice the part when Dad called you an old hen now, did you?
02:49Yes, I did.
02:52I guess I would make Dad a dead duck.
02:56Hi, Mom.
02:57Hi, guys.
02:57Hi, honey.
02:58What are you doing?
02:59Well, Dad's in the basement waiting for me to drop this tennis ball down the vent.
03:03He thinks it will knock the ring loose.
03:04All right, Mark.
03:05I'm all ready.
03:07Please.
03:08Allow me.
03:09Come on.
03:10Let me have it.
03:17Ow!
03:20I said a tennis ball and a croquet ball.
03:23It wasn't me.
03:25Who was it?
03:26The old hen.
03:30Hi, honey.
03:31I mean, honey.
03:34You know, if you boys are sneaking over to your party, I'd take a coat.
03:38It's awfully chilly out.
03:47How'd you know we were sneaking out?
03:49Well, Randy, I've long been a student of the Eastern philosophy of the Sufis and their
03:54teachings have enabled me to attain a heightened sense of awareness.
03:57Plus, I saw you out of the corner of my eye.
04:02Could you just pretend you didn't see us?
04:04I'm afraid not.
04:05Your mother gave me very strict instructions.
04:07And five bucks an hour.
04:11Man, why couldn't Mom just let us go to the party?
04:14I mean, she's totally screwing up our lives.
04:16Well, you boys have to realize that parents make rules to protect you, not to keep you from having a
04:21funky good time.
04:26I think they do it just to torture us.
04:29No, no, no, Randy.
04:30They do it for very good reason.
04:32They want to instill a sense of discipline and responsibility in you so you can be a fine, upstanding citizen
04:36like they are.
04:41I got it.
04:43Hello?
04:45Yeah, one sec.
04:46It's Mr. Upstanding Citizen.
04:49He's in the slammer.
04:52What'd you get?
04:53Everybody's favorite.
04:54Polish food.
04:55Aww.
04:57Alright, I love Polish food.
04:59I went down to Hamtramck's stands.
05:01You were supposed to get pizza.
05:03Anybody can get pizza.
05:05You didn't.
05:07Because on the way to get the pizza, I heard the call for kielbasa.
05:12You know, the last time you ate Polish food, you were up half the night.
05:16And in the bathroom the other half.
05:19That's because I made a pig out of myself.
05:21This time I didn't order some.
05:23These things look great.
05:26These are great, Brad.
05:28I'm gonna try the duck butt soup.
05:29It's alright, Dad.
05:30Uh, for lunch, I had a chicken gut sandwich.
05:35Well, I hope you're just not gonna stuff yourself again.
05:38You can start on Glumpke's.
05:39It's hard to put the brakes on.
05:41It's not the brakes I'm worried about.
05:42It's your full tank of gas.
05:46Alright.
05:47Bolts off.
05:49Mine's rusted on.
05:50Alright, we need the pneumatic wrench or I'll get a hot air gun.
05:53Oh, no!
05:56Just making sure you guys still watch Tool Time.
06:00Guess what?
06:01My sister Carrie is coming to visit.
06:03Oh, no.
06:05Come on.
06:07Carrie's fun.
06:08She always brings you nice gifts from someplace exotic.
06:11Oh, yeah.
06:12Last year she brought us knee socks and lederhosen.
06:16Hey, I don't like the lederhosen.
06:19Now all you need is some pantyhosen.
06:25Say cheese.
06:26Cheese.
06:28Oh, perfect.
06:29You know, I brought those to you all the way from Thailand.
06:32You put them on your fingers and then you do the traditional Thai dance called the Fonleb.
06:36We are a Fonleb and bunch of guys.
06:41Hey, Mark.
06:42Come on.
06:43Let's see what you look like in your present.
06:48I really don't know about this.
06:51We do.
06:53So, what can I do for you today, Tam?
06:55What?
07:00You still having trouble with your hearing?
07:02Harry, and I hate fish.
07:04When did you start selling fish?
07:06Phew.
07:07The doctor said his hearing will be coming back any day.
07:10Yeah, we came here to get a hacksaw blade, Harry.
07:12Oh, aisle three.
07:14What?
07:15Aisle three.
07:16So, go pee.
07:19While the hacksaw blades are where they usually are.
07:23Check out the Swiss Army knife.
07:25You know what that thing is?
07:26That's a Swiss Army knife.
07:31Wow, it's got a magnifying glass corkscrew.
07:35Can't open it.
07:35That's right.
07:36Tweezers and a nail file.
07:37Yeah, for Al's mid-afternoon pedicure.
07:41I'd give anything to have a knife this cool.
07:44Yeah, me too.
07:44But where are we gonna get 95 bucks?
07:48We could sell Mark.
07:51Where are we gonna get the other 90?
07:55Harry, I'll just take this one here.
07:57Gotta run.
07:58Gotta get the boys a soccer practice.
07:59Okay, I'll put it on your tab.
08:01I don't need a cab.
08:02I got a car right up front.
08:05I'm gonna charge a double.
08:08You're right.
08:09Al does look like Barney Rubble.
08:12Um, Al couldn't find that Swiss Army knife you guys were looking at yesterday.
08:16Do you have any idea who might have taken it?
08:17You know, maybe Harry took it to collect the insurance money.
08:23How do you come up with these ideas?
08:29Nobody's accusing anybody of anything, but if you know anything about this, this is a good time to tell us
08:34what you know.
08:36I know I didn't take it.
08:38Me either.
08:39Wasn't me.
08:41Brad, you've always wanted one of these things.
08:43Yeah, so has Randy.
08:44If somebody took it, it was probably him.
08:47Yeah, right.
08:47You're the thief.
08:48You're the one who took Dad's Hot Rod magazine with the babes on the cover.
08:53What?
08:54The bevy of beauties from Chevy.
08:55You got that issue?
08:58Well, Randy took Mom's Victoria's Secret catalog.
09:01Well, that's mine too.
09:08Can we get back to the knife?
09:12Look, we didn't take it, all right?
09:14How many times do we have to tell you?
09:15Okay, fine.
09:16Okay, fine.
09:16Just go back outside.
09:17It's all right.
09:20Do we believe him?
09:21Well, I hope they didn't take it.
09:23They said they didn't take it.
09:24Here, will you make yourself useful?
09:25I gotta take this upstairs.
09:26Yeah, but do we trust the kids that would take their Dad's Victoria's Secret catalog?
09:31I'm more worried that their Dad is the one getting the Victoria's Secret catalog.
09:36What are you wearing under there?
09:39A beautiful camisole and a silk thong.
09:47What are you doing?
09:48Nothing.
09:50You're searching their room.
09:51No, I wasn't.
09:52I was looking for my issues of my Hot Rod magazine.
09:56Busty Babes and Buicks?
09:59Another fine volume from your reference library.
10:03There's some of yours in here too.
10:06That's my recipe for tin of lima bean casserole.
10:11Why would they hide that?
10:14For me, I would have burned it.
10:21What else of mine have they got in here?
10:27Mom?
10:31What are you doing?
10:34Putting your underwear away.
10:40In the desk drawer?
10:42Yes.
10:45It's something my mother taught me.
10:48This way, if you're doing your homework and you realize that you're not wearing any underwear, then you don't have
10:59to walk all the way to the dresser drawer.
11:03My life is over.
11:05Randy.
11:06I've got a pimple.
11:11I don't see anything.
11:13It's one of those under the skin ones.
11:17It's gonna come out tomorrow.
11:21Well, maybe we can throw it a coming out party.
11:25Invite all the other pimples in the neighborhood.
11:29Randy, you don't understand.
11:31Tomorrow night's my date with Jessica Lutz.
11:33What am I gonna do?
11:35Send her fries and a chocolate bar.
11:37I hope she breaks out too.
11:41Hey, guys.
11:42Hey, Dad.
11:43I got a pimple on my nose and I got a date with Jessica Lutz.
11:47Come on, Brad.
11:48Don't worry about it.
11:48She's a real woman.
11:49She's not gonna notice a little zit on your nose.
11:51She's a 14-year-old girl.
11:53You're in trouble.
11:53Big, big trouble.
11:55Tell you what works for me.
11:56There's a hot compress on there.
11:57You bring the zit to the surface.
11:58You pop it.
11:59Ding-dong.
11:59The zit is dead.
12:02Cool.
12:03Come on, Randy.
12:03Let's go soak my pimple.
12:04Alright, I'm looking for a hobby, but that's not it.
12:08This is Space Command Zoom.
12:11All systems are gold.
12:12For your message to Jonathan.
12:17Hey, Jonathan.
12:18It's your birthday.
12:20I'm in charge of the stars and I'm here to say.
12:24Hey, Jonathan.
12:26You're the big star today.
12:32My name is Zoom and I live on the moon.
12:36But I came down to Earth just to sing you this tune.
12:40Because, Jonathan, it's your birthday today.
12:45Hello.
12:47A present for you I wanted to find.
12:51An outer space creature.
12:53A one of a kind.
12:55A wild womp.
12:56Womp.
12:57Womp.
12:57Womp.
12:57A kukulchu.
12:58A kukulchu.
12:59A plaffle drop.
13:00Or a buzzer spoon.
13:02Or maybe a three-eyed tickle shake.
13:06Or your birthday.
13:10Did you ask?
13:11What's a kukulchu?
13:14Well, up on the moon it's nothing new.
13:17But that won't do for you.
13:20On your birthday.
13:24I searched behind the clouds and stars.
13:29I even Zoomed my bike to Mars.
13:33And met my friend the saucer man.
13:36And he said.
13:37Hey, Zoom.
13:38I've got the bestest plan.
13:40What your men need is something new.
13:44So how about a song just from you?
13:46And so tonight when you're in bed.
13:51I'll be singing to you as I zoom overhead.
13:55Singing Jonathan.
13:57Happy birthday.
13:59Singing Jonathan.
14:01Happy birthday.
14:02Singing Jonathan.
14:04Happy birthday to you.
14:07Happy birthday Jonathan.
14:09See you next year.