- 7 weeks ago
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00:00Nothing to worry about, son.
00:01Yeah, it's easy for you to say.
00:03Look, storming a teacup, you're all over in five minutes.
00:05That's 120 altogether. I loved you.
00:08Look, I was always getting to fights when I was a kid.
00:11Dad, I am not a kid anymore.
00:12Right, all right, when I was your age then.
00:14Most of them was over silly birds, just like you.
00:16Look, Kelton's my best, mate. We never fight.
00:19We probably feel just as bad as you do.
00:21You reckon?
00:21Yeah, look, he's in the shop now.
00:23Just go over there, shake him behind the hand and get the whole thing over with, all right?
00:26What's her having, love?
00:29She's just not worth it, Kelton.
00:31Mary's OK. What have you got against her?
00:33Nothing, it's just priorities.
00:35Eh?
00:35Look, you're going to go through a lot of girls, Kelton.
00:38Yeah, if I'm anything like you, I will.
00:40It's only natural.
00:41But your mates are more important.
00:43Oh, yeah?
00:44Well, I still got mates from when I was your age.
00:47But I couldn't recognise the girls if I pass them in the street.
00:50Well, there's one living in our house. I'll introduce you later.
00:53I'm not talking about your mother, Kelton.
00:55Well, wasn't she a girl in them days then?
00:56But she was special.
00:58Oh, and you knew that from the beginning, didn't you? Instant romance.
01:01Yeah, as it happens, eh?
01:03I did.
01:04And you're getting divorced?
01:06I thought we were talking about you and Ian.
01:08Well, if you ask me, they're both plain daft.
01:10Yeah, I told Kelby, that.
01:11Mind you, it's quite flattering, though, isn't it? Being chased after by two blokes.
01:14I think it's pretty childish.
01:16It'd make a difference if they were both good-looking.
01:19Yeah, you might be able to convince her about arranged marriages who wanted them, eh, Sharon?
01:22What, after what happened to Syden and Nimer?
01:25Well, that was different.
01:26See, Nimer's marriage was arranged by her mum and dad.
01:28See, Sharon's going to do her own arranging.
01:30You got a short list of it?
01:31I'm working on it.
01:32First thing to do, though, is get rid of this love and romance bit.
01:35Look who I got you two.
01:36I've just got a point.
01:38So what you're looking for is an old geezer with a lot of money, a dodgy art and a good
01:41insurance policy.
01:42No, it's all about potential, Michelle.
01:45What I'm looking for is someone around my age.
01:46I may be a bit older.
01:48He's got to be career-minded.
01:50Nothing too flash-minded, but something that'll get him a bit of money.
01:53And he can't be too good-looking, because that'll cause problems with other women.
01:56But he can't be horrible neither, because I've got to live with him.
01:59Got it all worked out, hasn't she?
02:01I told you, Mary, I've taken it very seriously.
02:03I've written out all the qualifications and are marking me candidates on a scale of 1 to 20.
02:08Well, what about Kelvin?
02:09You've been knocking back quite a lot with him lately.
02:10No, we've only got 11.
02:12I'm not even looking at anyone under 70%.
02:14My mind, buggles.
02:16Before this is nearly finished, what shall we do next?
02:18We'll go and play some tapes at Mars, if you like.
02:20Mum and Dad are always, so I've got the place to myself.
02:23We can even look over a short list.
02:25Spot the lucky guy.
02:27No one's going anywhere to this place as spick and span,
02:29so you might as well knuckle down to it.
02:31Yeah, but I really ought to get back to the shop and help Dad, though.
02:33Yeah, but your father doesn't want you leaving this place like a pigsty, either.
02:36He's expecting you to do your share.
02:37Can't we do it later?
02:39Later never comes, young lady.
02:41Now, look.
02:43Your father's spent a lot of trouble on this place,
02:46so the least we can do is to make it look like a home.
02:49OK?
02:49Mm.
02:50Mm.
02:51All right, see you later.
02:52Bye.
02:53Bye.
02:55Well, she's changed her tune a bit.
02:57It used to be a pokey little house.
02:59She hated it.
02:59Well, maybe she might change her mind about Dad as well.
03:02Yeah, but it's not going to be easy, though.
03:04Why not?
03:05They used to love each other.
03:07Well, a lot of things have changed since then.
03:09Look, do you want these old magazines?
03:11Yeah.
03:12Well, put them in your own room, then.
03:13Look, supposing Mum and Dad do get back together.
03:16Hmm?
03:16Well, I'm not saying they will, but supposing they do,
03:18well, you've got a habit of sort of getting in the way, Cassie,
03:20and opening your mouth when you ought to be quiet.
03:22What?
03:23Now, I know you don't mean it,
03:24but you always seem to pop up at the wrong moments,
03:25and it gets on my nerves, so it's not exactly going to help them.
03:28You're just being rotten.
03:29Look, no, no, no, I'm just being practical.
03:31Now, look, if you want Mum and Dad to get back together,
03:34you're going to have to let them have some time on their own.
03:36They have to start right back from the beginning,
03:37like they just met, you know,
03:38with soft lights and sweet music and romance,
03:42just like in them magazines.
03:44Oi!
03:45Can't you two go upstairs?
03:46Eh?
03:47We're supposed to be getting ready for opening up.
03:49Don't mind me, I just live here.
03:50Yeah, well, you've got to get things organised, don't we, Sharon?
03:52Yeah, your Mum and Dad don't expect the place to fall apart.
03:55Yeah, that's where they're going to be wrong, eh?
03:56Sales are going to be right up.
03:57We're only going to ruin the sales by just sitting here, are we?
04:00No, it's the wrong image for the place, though, isn't it?
04:03Don't suppose you'd bop up with him, did you?
04:04Wixie?
04:05Yeah, nine out of twenty job, very disappointing.
04:08What about Lofty?
04:09Thirty percent.
04:10And I was being generous.
04:12I know, can't argue with the figures.
04:15Hang on, you ain't open for five minutes.
04:17Oh, come on, it's hungry for me, I've got your lemons.
04:19All right, all right.
04:21What are you waiting for Christmas?
04:22All right, hang on.
04:24Oh, here you go.
04:25Cheers, mate.
04:26So, how's it going then?
04:27Oh, it's going great.
04:28I reckon we'll be fainting her afters all week.
04:30Yeah, well, I'm glad somebody's doing all right.
04:32Yeah, what's up?
04:33Oh, don't ask.
04:34Suit yourself.
04:35Well, seeing as you're good old Simon, um, could you give me some advice?
04:40Blimey.
04:41I never thought you'd come to me for help.
04:42Yeah, well, I don't like to, but it's your speciality, isn't it?
04:46What's that?
04:47Women.
04:47Oh, yes.
04:48You've come to an expert there.
04:49What's your problem?
04:50I can't get one.
04:52Oh, have you tried?
04:52Yeah.
04:53Well, what happened?
04:54I was smacking the mouth from your best mate.
04:56You need to take your hand, Ian.
04:57Come here.
05:02Yeah, I don't suppose you were off with Ian, did you?
05:04Well, I did, actually.
05:05And?
05:06Look, let's forget it, eh, Michelle?
05:07What did he score?
05:0914.
05:10Well, that's 70%.
05:11Bingo, you're in business.
05:13Yeah, but Ian, I must have gone wrong somewhere.
05:15Don't chicken out now.
05:16The figures never lie.
05:19Cheers, mate.
05:19That should work.
05:20I'll see you later, thank God.
05:21Ian!
05:22What?
05:25You made up with Kelvin now?
05:26Yeah, I've still got the bruises to prove it, though.
05:28You're really childish, you know.
05:30What's it got to do with you?
05:32Well, you're mate, haven't you?
05:33Anyway, while you're fighting it over Mary,
05:35you could have better chances in another direction.
05:38Hmm?
05:38Just think it over, little cousin.
05:41Look, you cheered up a bit.
05:42Yeah, I know.
05:43I had a chat with Shelby.
05:44Simon put me right about a few things.
05:45Ah, good.
05:46I'm glad you're getting on with me better.
05:47Look, you don't mean to say I like him,
05:49but if you need advice, you go to the expert, don't you?
05:50So, what's he masterminding?
05:52Women.
05:53See the cunt to see me about that?
05:55You reckon?
05:56Boy, I've broke a few hearts in my time.
05:58Oh, yeah.
05:59Yeah, I know you think I'm near my pension.
06:01The cunt to me want a bit of advice in that department.
06:03Yeah, well, I'll remember that for next night.
06:05Yeah, well, who's the lucky girl, then?
06:06Mary?
06:07Oh, I don't really want to bother with Kelvin.
06:09I've got somebody else in mind.
06:10I don't think she's too interested.
06:12Well, you know what they say.
06:13Fainter, never one fair lady.
06:14Yes, well, I remember that, Mr. LeBomb.
06:16Who?
06:17Look, son, he's just trying to help.
06:19Girls don't like wimps.
06:20They want warmen.
06:21I mean, keep the confidence up.
06:22Keep the check going.
06:23Yeah, it's all very well for you to say,
06:25but I never get that far.
06:26I've got to get her to go out with me first.
06:27Look, you tell her you've booked a couple of tickets for something.
06:30You've been round to pick her up at seven.
06:31Well, suppose she says no?
06:32You don't give a chance, do you?
06:33Keep the old bunny going.
06:34Oh, I suppose I'm getting the truck.
06:36How are you?
06:36It never fails.
06:37Well, in that case, you and Mum better stay in the pub this evening.
06:39Eh?
06:40Well, I thought we'd go back to the flat.
06:41Nice, quiet little meal for two.
06:43Just for tourists.
06:44See, I don't want you cramping my style, Dad.
06:48Where do you want the stuff?
06:50Over there, I suppose.
06:52What I really need is a lot more space.
06:54Are you going to be okay when you've got your big conversion done?
06:56Yeah.
06:59Look, me and Cassie haven't finished clearing up yet,
07:00so you'll have to manage on your own.
07:01Oh, that's okay.
07:02And, look, why don't you and Mum go out to lunch
07:04so we can surprise her by having everything ready
07:06by the time she gets back?
07:07Did she suggest that?
07:08No.
07:09I just thought you don't spend enough time on your own together
07:11without me and Cassie under your feet.
07:13Are you up to something, Kelvin?
07:15Just smoothing things along.
07:16Yeah.
07:17Well, why don't you smooth things along with Ian?
07:19You know, I hate to see the both of you fighting.
07:22Oh, all right, all right.
07:22I've already promised Michelle I'll try and sort it out.
07:26Okay.
07:28Can I take a coat's out, please?
07:29Yeah, coming up.
07:31I'll do it again in a minute, all right?
07:33Don't bother.
07:35I've got to put on anything done round this,
07:36but I have to do it myself.
07:38There you are.
07:39Another example of marital bliss for you.
07:41I reckon you're right about these arranged marriages.
07:43There you go.
07:44Cheers, Al.
07:45Look, Michelle, I know it's a good theory.
07:47It's just Ian I'm not sure about.
07:50Let's go over the figures again.
07:55Career prospects.
07:57No, he's got to score well at that, haven't he?
07:58He's always known what he wanted to do,
08:00and he's a smashing cook.
08:01All right, we've been four out of five for that.
08:03Fidelity.
08:04Eh?
08:05Well, is he going to stay faithful,
08:06or is he going to play around?
08:08Oh, five out of five for that, I reckon.
08:09Look, any chance that Ian gets of going out of anyone,
08:12he's not going to risk mucking it up, is he?
08:14All right, I'll give him another four.
08:16He's not exactly a sex symbol, is he?
08:18That's got to be too advantage, innit?
08:20I mean, you don't have hundreds of screaming females
08:22rampaging after his body, do you?
08:24Next.
08:26Compatibility.
08:27Oh, well...
08:27He's got to like what I like and get on with your mates.
08:29Oh, he's got to score well there, innit?
08:31You've known each other for so long,
08:32you've got the same mates,
08:33you get on great with Pete and Cath,
08:35so you'll have no trouble with the in-laws.
08:36You're enjoying this, isn't you?
08:38You're too right, I am.
08:39Listen, this was your idea,
08:40you've got to see it from now.
08:41All right, don't rub it in.
08:43Well, how are you going to start it, then?
08:45What?
08:46Well, I mean, how are you going to get the ball rolling?
08:47Well, I'm not asking him out.
08:49I draw the line at that, Michelle.
08:50Listen, you can hardly weigh him up
08:52as a future bridegroom if you don't go out with him.
08:54Well, he'll have to ask me out.
08:55I suppose he don't.
08:56Of course he will.
08:57He does every few months, regular as clockwork.
08:59Yeah, and you always say no.
09:01He might have given up.
09:02Then you'd better give him a hint.
09:03I already have.
09:05It's funny, isn't it?
09:07I never really saw myself as a cupid before.
09:10If we're bringing everyone else together,
09:11I'll be the only one left single.
09:17So we're never going to fall out over women again?
09:19Suits me.
09:20Anyway, I've decided to give you a clean mum and Mary.
09:22I'm paying out the race.
09:23Oh, no, that's all right, mate.
09:24We leave it to her, and see what's one she goes for.
09:26Yeah, look, I've got me eyes on somebody else now.
09:28Oh, you're getting to be a bit of a lad, aren't you?
09:30Who's it this time?
09:31Sharon.
09:33She'll eat you for breakfast.
09:34Nah, that's where you're wrong.
09:35We've had a chat with a few people about this.
09:36Oh, yeah?
09:37Look, I reckon if I play my cards right, what can go wrong?
09:39Looks like the old man said I've got to be more forceful.
09:41Careful, or you could end up with another smack in the mouth.
09:44No, I don't mean like that.
09:45Look, it's a matter of confidence, innit?
09:47Look, there isn't any reason why she shouldn't fancy me.
09:49No.
09:49Except that you both grew up together,
09:51and she looked on you like a brother.
09:52Well, knock that on the head, eh?
09:54Come on, then, let's have your two pennies.
09:55Eh?
09:55Well, everyone else has given me advice.
09:58Well, the secret with birds is they want to hear about themselves.
10:01What do you mean?
10:02Well, most guys start mouthing off about what great fellas they are,
10:04but that doesn't seem to impress.
10:06So?
10:06So you're flattering.
10:07It always works.
10:08I mean, you look at her and you say,
10:10Sharon, I never realised what beautiful eyes you've got.
10:12Well, they're not that special.
10:14Well, no, it doesn't have to be her eyes.
10:15It can be her hair, her hands, anything.
10:16But it's the sincerity that counts.
10:18Right.
10:19And whenever there's a lie in the conversation,
10:21you say something nice about her,
10:22but you're beating out of your hand in no time.
10:24Yeah, I know.
10:24That's all very well in theory.
10:25When it comes to the crunch,
10:26we might have just go blank, wouldn't it?
10:27Probably because you need to rehearse.
10:29Have you got a bit of paper?
10:30Oh, yeah.
10:32Back at a wine bar salad list.
10:33Right.
10:34I'll sort you out some good lines in no time.
10:36There we are.
10:37Part of the special and orange juice.
10:39Thank you, Cathy.
10:39You're all right.
10:43Sorry it has to be the pub.
10:44I wasn't actually planning on staying for lunch.
10:47No, me neither.
10:48Cassie and Kelvin were most insistent.
10:51You know, they think we don't spend enough time together.
10:54I got the message.
10:55You know, I think they're up to something.
10:59You know, everything seems simpler when you're of their age.
11:03You just simply wipe the slit clean and start again.
11:05Yeah.
11:06Mind you, sometimes I don't think it's such a bad idea.
11:11Oh, Hannah.
11:12Mm-hmm, yes.
11:13Are you enjoying it?
11:14What?
11:14The special.
11:15That was my idea.
11:16You see, we don't have customers getting bored with the same old menu.
11:19Thought we'd try something different.
11:20Oh, it's very nice.
11:22Oh, that's what I like to hear.
11:23Satisfy customers.
11:24Now, you got any complaints or any suggestions, just come and see me, all right?
11:27All off, because we're in charge for two weeks.
11:29Yes.
11:30Okay.
11:30All right.
11:31Bon appétit, all right?
11:34Is it a shower?
11:35Yeah, of course.
11:36See me come out my door.
11:38All right.
11:38Sharon!
11:44Do you want something to eat?
11:45Oh, no, thanks.
11:46Oh, you could be missing out on a gastronomic delight, you know.
11:48We've got a special on today.
11:49State and Kibner.
11:50Your mum made it.
11:51I did.
11:52Oh.
11:53Oh, why don't you have one anyway?
11:54Me and Wicks are in charge for two weeks.
11:56We've got to keep our sales crovers up, you know.
11:58No, it's all right.
11:58I'm planning a big meal for tonight, all right?
12:01Thank you, Sharon.
12:02Uh, Ian wants you.
12:04Oh, um, hi, Sharon.
12:06What do you want?
12:07Um, well, I was wondering, are you, um, busy tonight?
12:11Not specially, no.
12:12Oh, great.
12:13So?
12:14Well, um, I thought, what were your mum and dad being away, um, I thought, well, I could
12:19perhaps cook a meal for us both over at my mum and dad's and then we could go to a
12:23disco
12:24afterwards.
12:25Okay.
12:26You'll come.
12:27I just said, didn't I?
12:29Oh, um, yeah, well, I'll pick up about seven then.
12:31Fair enough.
12:32See you later.
12:33Yeah.
12:33Tasha.
12:44Tasha.
12:45Yeah, Sharon.
12:46Uh, can I go over you?
12:46That's good.
12:47I wanted to work with you, too.
12:48Yeah, I know.
12:48I think mine's a bit more urgent.
12:49Um, me and Sharon are going on a date.
12:51Well, it's a turn up for the books, isn't it?
12:53You know what, I tell you, you could have knocked me down with a feather when she said
12:55yes.
12:56I mean, she's always turned me down before now.
12:58Yeah, I know.
12:59Do you know what?
12:59I never realised you fancied me, too.
13:01Well, I suppose you knew.
13:02You're the best mate, aren't you?
13:03Must talk things over.
13:04Well, we have mentioned it a few times lately.
13:06So, uh, how do you think I should play it, then?
13:09That's a good question.
13:10What do you mean?
13:10Strong and silent, soft and romantic.
13:12I'll tell you, everyone's given me advice today, but you know best.
13:15You're her best mate, aren't you?
13:17Just don't play it too macho.
13:18It's not your style.
13:19How do you mean?
13:20Look, no offence, Ian, but Rambo, you're not.
13:23And play the gentleman.
13:24He'll put on with her coat, make a fuss of her, treat her like a lady.
13:27We are talking about the same person.
13:28Yes, we are.
13:29And if you want to get anywhere with her, you'll follow my advice.
13:31Yeah, OK, sure.
13:33Here, Kelvin's given me a list of the chat-up lines.
13:35Do you want to have a look?
13:36No, thanks.
13:37I did go out with him before.
13:38I've probably heard him myself.
13:40Oh, yeah, I forgot.
13:42But just remember, she's a human being too.
13:44Huh?
13:45I mean, most blokes can't wait two minutes before they start leaping all over you.
13:48She has got a mind.
13:50Talk to her, make conversation.
13:51Oh, so you don't want to add any more lines to this list?
13:54No, I didn't think you did.
13:55Hello, Mum.
13:56Oh, miracles do happen.
13:57Dot actually turned up early for once.
13:59Hello, love.
13:59I've done the spuds.
14:00Oh, thanks.
14:01Are you going to stay and have something to eat with us?
14:03Um, no, sure.
14:03I've got a big meal plan for tonight, thanks.
14:05Oh.
14:05What's going on a date with Sharon?
14:06Yeah, um, I think I'd better be getting home, all right?
14:10Yeah, see you then.
14:11Oh, tell her all.
14:12See you then.
14:12Good luck.
14:13Thanks.
14:13I think I'm going to mean it.
14:14Look, fancy our Ian going on a date.
14:18Remember him in nappies.
14:19And Sharon.
14:20We were all growing up, weren't we?
14:22Be sure I'd have to worry about me going on dates for a while.
14:25Not in my condition.
14:26Don't suppose anyone would want to take me.
14:28I wonder if I should have a word with her.
14:30Who?
14:31Sharon.
14:32Why?
14:33Well, I promised Angie I'd keep an eye on her while she was away.
14:36I don't think you want to worry about her.
14:37Not with Ian, Mum.
14:39No, not with Ian.
14:40But I mean, boys of that age, they've only got one thing on their minds.
14:43I just hope Sharon's got enough sense not to let anyone make a fool of her.
14:49I'm sorry, Sharon.
14:51I'm not blaming you.
14:53But what I mean is, boys of that age, they do only think of one thing.
14:57And what, before you know where you are, you're in too deep.
15:02Well, it weren't like that with me, Mum.
15:04He wasn't Ian's age, he was older.
15:06Quite a bit older.
15:08And he didn't make a fool of me.
15:10I knew what I was doing.
15:17Well, you've got a bit of a dark horse, haven't you?
15:19No.
15:20Your dad just told me about you and Sharon.
15:22How long's this been going on, then?
15:23A couple of hours.
15:24Oh, cheers, sir.
15:27Well, here's a flat to no-go area tonight for your dad, then.
15:31Just what you planning, Ian?
15:32Nothing, just a little bit of supper, that's all.
15:34Yeah, as long as that's all you're getting up to.
15:37Just remember, her mum's my best mate.
15:39It's gone out really bad for me if you take advantage while I pelt her away.
15:42A chance of me, fine, then.
15:44Oh, yeah?
15:45Look, it's taken me, Mum, to even get Sharon to go out with me.
15:48We'll be collecting our pensions before we get around the wedding for you and Angie might object to.
15:51That's not the way your dad tells it.
15:53Yeah, well, Dad seems to have more faith in my romantic abilities than I do.
15:56Mind you, it hasn't stopped someone giving me advice, so I've got this list of possible chattel lines.
16:00Come on, have a look at these.
16:03Want to add new suggestions?
16:05Oh, you're not going to say this to Sharon.
16:07Oh, God, what's wrong with it?
16:08Well, nothing.
16:09I mean, it was great in the young doctors.
16:11They don't really sound like you, though, Ian.
16:13So, what do you think I should say, then?
16:15Well, just be yourself.
16:17It's you she's agreed to go out with.
16:18Oh, maybe.
16:20Yeah, Kelvin's going to lend me one of his jackets.
16:22Well, what about a shirt?
16:23Huh?
16:24Well, you ain't got anything halfway decent, have you?
16:26Oh, I'll pick you up one from the market.
16:28Shouldn't I choose it?
16:29No, love.
16:30Not with your toast.
16:32Oh, come on.
16:33Don't look so worried.
16:34I'm not worried.
16:36I'm scared stiff, Mum.
16:38Come on, we'll have a bit of practice on the stall.
16:40Anyway, your dad's teeth getting calmed.
16:41That's true.
16:42You've got to go, isn't it?
16:43Here, not long till zero hour.
16:45I know, I know.
16:46Do you need any more advice?
16:47No, I've got advice coming out of my ears, sunshine.
16:49See you later.
16:50Can't we go home?
16:52No.
16:53Mum, I want to watch television.
16:55That's tough.
16:56Mum said I'll put it back to you.
16:58Look, Cassie, do you want Mum and Dad to get back together?
17:00Yes.
17:00You're going to have to let them have some time on their own.
17:02I've told you.
17:03Just drink that Coke and show that.
17:19Do you want something, Cheryl?
17:21No.
17:22Well, you look like a wet weekend.
17:23What's up?
17:24Nothing.
17:26Well, surely you've got something better to do with your time than watch me clean my shoes.
17:32I was just wondering what you were like at my age.
17:35I've got some pictures.
17:36I'll sort them out for you, if you like.
17:37Ah, it's all right.
17:38How are you cleaning your shoes?
17:40I was thinner, young.
17:42I bet.
17:43Yeah.
17:43And good looking, even though I say it to myself.
17:46Mum was good looking too, weren't she?
17:49She still is.
17:52Do you ever think about what might have happened if you two had never met and they never got married?
18:00Married someone else, I suppose.
18:02So you'd never been like the confirmed old bachelor?
18:04In your own place, cooking your own meals, dining your own socks?
18:07Oh, I could manage that, I suppose.
18:11But I'm the marrying kind.
18:13I like to share things.
18:14I like the companionship.
18:16Most people do, if they're honest.
18:19But, mate, living on your own's got its advantage, hasn't it?
18:22You've got no one else to please except yourself, then?
18:24I know some people manage it.
18:27But, er, it doesn't seem quite natural somehow.
18:30Now, I think we were made to be in families.
18:33Maybe.
18:34Well, the system seems to have lasted for a few thousand years.
18:38Then why is the divorce rate so high?
18:40Because they're not prepared to stick at it.
18:42Oh, I know, they say in sickness and their health and all that sort of thing.
18:45But the first sign of travel, they want to quit.
18:49That's no good, is it?
18:51You've got to work at it, just like everything else.
18:57Not too late, am I?
18:58I had a bit of work to get sorted in the obbies.
18:59It took longer than expected.
19:00Oh, don't worry.
19:01I'm still finishing the woodwork.
19:02I took ages filling in all the cracks, and I'm just sanding it.
19:06Going by the book, are we?
19:08Yeah, I've got those from the library.
19:10Andy usually does the decorating.
19:12Yeah, well, he got me here now, haven't you?
19:14Right, do you want some old clothes?
19:16There's probably something of Andy's that'll fit you.
19:18No, no, no, it's all right.
19:19I've got my overalls here, look.
19:20Oh.
19:22I feel mad when he sees a staked this shirt.
19:24Eh?
19:25Serves him right for not helping.
19:27Well, that's up to you, isn't it?
19:28I mean, I could be around when you need me, no?
19:31Have you thought any more about what I said?
19:33What?
19:34Getting married.
19:36Yes.
19:38I have.
19:39I've thought about it quite a bit, actually.
19:41It's just I promised Dan she'd keep an eye on you while she was away.
19:45She don't want you ending up the same way as me, you see.
19:47Michelle, don't you start that.
19:49All we're doing is going from moving on to a disco.
19:51I don't know why everyone's making such a fuss about it.
19:56Oh.
19:57Uh, hello, Mary.
19:58I heard about you and Kelvin.
20:00Oh.
20:01Well, you're daft.
20:02You're both stupid.
20:03Yeah, well, we've got it all sorted out now, thanks.
20:05Glad to hear it.
20:05It's a bit of a joke, isn't it?
20:07Fighting her for me.
20:08If you'll make you grow up, I'll go out with either of you.
20:10That's if I can bring Annie, of course.
20:12That's it.
20:14Hey!
20:15Hey!
20:16Loves Young's dream, eh?
20:17Who can resist them?
20:18Thank you, Dad.
20:19Um, you ready, Cheryl?
20:20Yep, yep.
20:20See you later.
20:21Come on, let's get out of here.
20:22Go on, enjoy yourself.
20:23Dressed to kill, eh?
20:24I don't do anything.
20:25Oh, I wouldn't do that.
20:26Oh, be fair, Mum.
20:28You was young yourself, wasn't it?
20:32Well, there's no need for all that.
20:34Come on, Cheryl.
20:35There don't mean any harm.
20:36There's only teasing.
20:37Yeah, well, maybe I've lost my sense of humour
20:39because I don't find it very funny.
20:40What's up?
20:41Nothing.
20:42Oh, come on.
20:43There must be something.
20:44I'm just fed up with it all.
20:46Well, it's just because you're pregnant, love.
20:49You're bound to get the blues then.
20:50I mean, the months just seem to drag by.
20:53Mum, it's more than that.
20:55You see Sharon and Ian tonight
20:56really made me think.
20:57There's going to be none of that for me, is there?
20:59We're just feeding and washing nappies
21:01and pushing primes.
21:04Look, the father,
21:05I know you said he was a lot older than you,
21:07but, well, couldn't you go and see...
21:09No, no, I couldn't.
21:11You must be fun, Duffy.
21:13I am.
21:14I was.
21:17Why don't you go and talk to him?
21:19Because there'd be no point.
21:21I don't know till you try.
21:23Mum, I do.
21:25He's married.
21:27And I don't want to hear any more on the subject, all right?
21:32Well, that wasn't too bad, was it?
21:34Thanks to you.
21:35So, how long will it take to dry?
21:37Oh, quite a while.
21:38But I'm sure we can find something to keep ourselves occupied.
21:41Here.
21:43What?
21:43What's up?
21:44You've got a speck of paint on your cheek and your nose, don't you?
21:46Oh, get off.
21:48I'm surprised that's all.
21:49Andy says I usually get more on me than on the walls.
21:51No, you did just fine.
21:53Here.
21:54That's better.
21:55Thanks.
21:56Hey, you look good like that, you know.
21:58What?
21:59In Andy's old shirt?
22:00Yeah, now, one minute.
22:01What did it say in the advert?
22:03Looks even better on a man.
22:05Oh, come on, they've got to be kidding, eh?
22:09Thanks, Ian.
22:10That was really nice.
22:11Well, there's plenty more if you want some.
22:13No, darling.
22:13I'm watching me wait at the moment.
22:15Oh, you don't need a diet, Sharon.
22:16You've got a smashing figure.
22:17You reckon?
22:18Yeah.
22:19Look, what time's the disco start, eh?
22:21Oh, it's not too late for it.
22:22We've got plenty of time yet.
22:23For what?
22:24No.
22:25Well, you said we've got plenty of time.
22:26Yeah, well, I thought we could have a bit of a chat first.
22:29What about?
22:30This and that.
22:32You've got any good tapes?
22:33Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
22:34I'll put something on.
22:35You know, best thing about Mum and Dad being away,
22:38I can play me tapes full blast and no-one moans at me.
22:41Um, you know something, Sharon?
22:43What?
22:44Um, well, I've never realised before what beautiful eyes you've got.
22:47Do you like this?
22:48Huh?
22:49The tape, Ian, it's awful.
22:50Oh, yeah, I must admit, I've gone off it a bit too.
22:53Um, do you want to choose something?
22:54Depends what you've got.
22:55Well, have a look, see what you fancy.
22:59I think I'll leave it.
23:00Yeah, well, um, Simon's borrowed all my best ones.
23:03Well, shall we forget the tapes, eh?
23:04Yeah, I didn't really feel like listening to music anyway.
23:07Um, you see, I've wanted to get you on your own for such a long time.
23:11You see, there's, well, so much I want to say to you.
23:14Like what?
23:15Uh, well, um, I fancy you.
23:20I know.
23:24And, you sure you don't want any more to eat?
23:29What are you, Sharon?
23:30What, another orange juice?
23:31No, thanks.
23:32Oh, nuts, crisps.
23:34Go on, I've got to keep your clothing up, or Simon will think I'm letting the side down.
23:38That's a bit of cheering up.
23:39How much does that cost?
23:40You can have that on the house.
23:43Well, go on, then.
23:45Make me laugh.
23:47Um, do you know the one about, uh, the Englishman, the Irishman and the jar of coffee?
23:53Yes.
23:54Oh, uh, well, how about the one about the Wattusi tribe?
23:57Yeah, you told me that one.
23:58You keep getting the ending wrong.
23:59Well, those are the only jokes I know.
24:01Blind a good'n tonight.
24:03PC Plod's asked Debbie to marry him.
24:05Chewing up outside her door.
24:07Well, Blimey, you are down this evening, aren't you?
24:10Oh, don't let it worry you, Lofty.
24:12Mum says everyone gets like this when they're pregnant.
24:14Maybe she's right.
24:16Or maybe I'm just going off my trolley.
24:18Nah.
24:19I must be.
24:21I really envied Sharon going out with Ian tonight.
24:24Do you fancy Ian, then?
24:26No.
24:27So I fancy being like a typical 16-year-old again.
24:31Do you think we ought to be getting ready to go out, Ian?
24:34Oh, I don't know.
24:34I'm not bothered about the disco, really.
24:37Here, we can stay here.
24:38There's nothing to do.
24:39There's plenty to do.
24:40Like what?
24:41The washing up.
24:42Yeah, I forgot.
24:43Plenty of laughs.
24:43I told you.
24:44I want to talk to you.
24:45You've said.
24:46But that's about all you've said.
24:49Except you fancy me.
24:50Well, it's the truth.
24:53Maybe it is, Ian, but it's not exactly getting us anywhere, is it?
24:56I'm not much good at this sort of thing, am I?
24:58Do you want an honest answer?
25:00No, it's OK.
25:01I know.
25:02Just about everyone has given me advice today, telling me what to do, what to say.
25:06Well, it's all very well with him telling me, but, well, when it comes to the crunch, I feel
25:11like a wally.
25:12You're not a wally, Ian.
25:14Well, not all the time, anyway.
25:15Oh, thanks.
25:15That makes me feel a whole lot better.
25:17You're just a bit shy, I suppose.
25:18Oh, that's it.
25:20I'm shy.
25:20I'm suffering from terminal shyness.
25:22So why don't we cut our losses, then, and go to the disco?
25:24I don't want to go to the disco.
25:25I don't want to be shy, and I don't want everyone back at the pub laughing at me, because they'll
25:29know what a mess I'll make of things.
25:31So what are you going to do about it, then?
25:34Start again?
25:35We ain't got long, have we?
25:37Well, we could at least give it a try.
25:40OK.
25:46Um, well, I just thought that, well, that's what's been bothering me most, so I thought
25:52I'd get it out of the way first.
25:54Look, don't get me wrong.
25:56I really want the baby.
25:58Sometimes I even look forward to it.
26:00The trouble is I want a lot of other things out of life as well.
26:03You think the baby would get in the way?
26:05Not in the way, exactly.
26:06I mean, that makes me sound really horrible, really selfish.
26:10There's no way I can blame the baby when I was responsible for it.
26:14But I want it to be happy.
26:15Happier than I ever was.
26:17And I want to be happy too.
26:19Well, that's fair enough, isn't it?
26:23I reckon if I had a kid, I'd spoil it rotten.
26:25No, you'd be a really good dad.
26:27Well, I'd never smack it.
26:28I reckon they'd get enough of that later on.
26:30What would you do if it was naughty?
26:32Well, talk.
26:33Explain things.
26:35You can't explain things to a baby.
26:36Of course you can.
26:37I mean, that's how they learn to talk themselves.
26:39If you wallop them, well, all they learn is to be crafty and go behind your back like other people.
26:44Probably a little Dr Spock, isn't you?
26:46Well, it's all fear, isn't it?
26:47I don't expect I'll ever put it into practice.
26:50And who'd want to marry me, eh?
26:54I would.
26:56Hey.
26:57Hey, lovely.
26:58Any chance of a drink up here, mate?
26:59Hey, just a second, Pete.
27:03What did you just say?
27:04I don't think I heard you right.
27:07Well, you know when you asked me to marry her?
27:10Yeah.
27:11Did you mean it?
27:12Yeah.
27:14I mean, it was a long time ago.
27:15You could have changed your mind by now.
27:18No, I haven't.
27:21I don't know.
27:27I don't know.
27:28I don't know.
27:29I don't know.
27:29I don't know.
27:30I don't know.
27:31I don't know.
27:33I don't know.
27:33I don't know.