Theo Hakola - "MALLORY McMORROW for PRESIDENT"

song from the album GODDAMN MY HUMANS (2026)
contact/info: www.theohakola.com

other voice: Brisa Roché,
violin: Bénédicte Villain,
drums: Tatiana Mladenovitch,
voice, guitar, bass, harmonica: T. Hakola

MALLORY McMORROW FOR PRESIDENT

Yeah yeah, I know I can’t have her, she’s already taken
and way out of my league, so my heart’ll be abreakin’,
but that woman’s got the chops to ring our liberty bells
and, no middling Goldilocks, she could save us from ourselves

President McMorrow – Mallory oh Mallory
could light up our tomorrows with a cleansing wave of clarity
and common decency to shine from sea to shining sea,
and right the ship floundering in the brine of the decline
of our democracy

Her face might be whiter than a stick of chalk
but her brain’s a hot lick of love and straight talk
Oh, she walks the walk beating perfect time
like a tick-tocking clock, she’s a fine-tuned design…
Oh God oh God almighty, I want to make her mine

‘Tween the brick red hair and the Celtic milk skin
there’s more than enough there to do me in
There’s guts and a passion for the scythe of truth,
and a tide of compassion to landslide the voting booth

The GOP defamed her in her home state of Michigan
Said she’s grooming kindergartners, sexualizing children
“Call me whatever you want,” she answered, “I know who I am.”
“Hate will only win if people like me stand by and let it happen.”

A moral splash to unmask MAGA lies and shady schemes,
she’ll smash the fascist rise and explode their halfwit memes
A parent saying no to brats kissing quisling rings,
She’ll zap the bad in those rats with the good in her heartstrings

Yeah her face is whiter than a spray of chalk,
but her brain’s a double play of love and straight talk
Walking the walk beating perfect time,
like a tick-tocking clock, she’s a fine-tuned design, a celestial chime…
Oh good God almighty, why can’t she be mine?

Mallory, oh Mallory…

I can’t make her mine, by we can make her ours,
put that woman in the White House and let her do the leading
So what if she’s a Christian and a straight suburban wife?
She’s got the good and the goods our poor country’s now a-needing
got the brains and the life, Lord, the fight… to stop the bleeding