00:01This is a Christmas movie.
00:03Exactly.
00:07I'm a very careful man.
00:09You're a very careful man.
00:10Yes, I read the fine print, and I sit and think about it.
00:13I think I don't read the fine print.
00:15I have been banned.
00:17I have banned myself from purchasing things online,
00:22because when they arrive at my house,
00:24they are not what I thought they were.
00:25See, I've never made it online.
00:27Oh, my God.
00:28I've never downloaded an app.
00:30Okay, that's ridiculous.
00:32We're not even going to address that.
00:34I'm going to tell my story.
00:36I, during the pandemic,
00:38when toilet paper was going out of style, right?
00:41Everybody was buying it.
00:42Do you remember that?
00:42I remember hearing about it.
00:44I purchased, I was like, I found!
00:46I found so much toilet paper.
00:47I bought this 24-pack of toilet paper.
00:50It arrived at my house.
00:52It was miniature toilet paper.
00:55Miniature toilet paper.
00:55It was literally...
00:56Well, that's a scam.
00:57It was literally...
00:59They were little rolls of toilet paper that were this big.
01:03And I've had so many experiences where I'm like,
01:05I think I'm buying, like, one of something,
01:07and I get, like, a case of 24.
01:10So, yeah, I don't re...
01:11I don't even know.
01:11They say, apparently, on Amazon...
01:13That was actually little toilet paper?
01:14Yes, like it looked like toilet paper for mice.
01:16So, yeah, I ended up selling it a bit, like, Yes.
01:16Yes!
01:17Yes!
01:17Yes!
01:17Yes!
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