00:02I think it was about six months into Rebecca's passing when we was in Qatar that I plucked
00:10the courage, if you like, even though I've known you 20 years, to actually say, how are
00:17you? And start to sort of mention some memories and what a fantastic lady she was and whatnot,
00:26and it got us talking. And after 15, 20 minutes, I think we ended up both sort of crying our
00:32eyes out on the beach. But I think that process, and that was for my part, not that I didn't
00:39want to mention it from day one, but I just, the timing was, I didn't know the right time.
00:43Yeah, because all the first few months it was all about, like, what am I going to do with
00:47the kids? School run. Just the basic stuff. And then obviously the sorting out the funeral
00:54and making sure everyone's all right. And you don't really look at yourself and you
00:59don't really think about chatting. And I didn't ever sit there and think, you know what, let's
01:03just, you know, I'm going to plan a moment to speak or anything. You just mentioned something
01:08and it just triggered that chain of events and that just free-flowing conversation that
01:15you start talking about feelings and stuff going forward. And it just kind of was, it was a
01:20release. I think my job as your pal is to step in at those moments just to say, are you
01:25all
01:25right, mate? You know, do you need, is there anything I can do? Do you need to talk? And
01:31I know if you was that chatty type of guy, it would make things easier, but you're not.
01:35So the timing for me to ask you them questions is always some that I'm a bit wary of myself.
01:40Yes, it's difficult, but I think these situations you need to have the ability to be able to get
01:47your feelings out. And I think it's, it's, it doesn't just help you, it helps all the
01:51people close because they then feel more comfortable because everyone just feels awkward. Like you
01:55coming to me or, or me going on the school run and seeing some of the parents there and
02:00you can see them half-stepping and stopping and, shall I speak, shall I not, because, well,
02:05if I don't say anything, it looks like I don't care. I think that's why a lot of people leave
02:08it. You know, they say, you know, sometimes it's best to say nothing and you can quite
02:16understand that. But when you do get a positivity out of speaking, I think it's, it breaks down
02:22a few barriers and it's helped us. Yeah, after that it becomes easier, much easier.
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