- 2 days ago
Explore the Complex, Surprising, and often Contradictory Lives of Women in Soviet Russia
👉 What World Leaders NEED to Know about Russia: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6d9EIByxz1AdkmIOYUlrDd0rmByq5zSN
Join me as we explore the complex, surprising, and often contradictory lives of women in the USSR. From revolutionary heroes to household managers, discover how Soviet women navigated a world of promises, sacrifices, and societal expectations.
👉This is Part 2 of the series, see Part 1 here: The Hidden Secrets of Russian Women Nobody Tells You, Part 1 https://youtu.be/r2L4hJMHveA
👉 JOIN ME ON THE JOURNEY Sign-up for news about the New Book here: https://elvirabary.com/elvira-barys-newsletter/
MY HISTORICAL FICTION BOOK SERIES
➡️ Russian Treasures (a historical novel about the Bolshevik Revolution and Russian Civil War) https://amzn.to/43PutaM
➡️ The White Ghosts' Empire (a historical novel about the Russian refugees who destroyed the myth of white supremacy in China in the 1920s) https://amzn.to/4owy45Z
➡️ The Prince of the Soviets (a historical novel about a foreign journalist who unexpectedly becomes part of the Soviet elite in Stalin’s Moscow) https://amzn.to/47O
👉 What World Leaders NEED to Know about Russia: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6d9EIByxz1AdkmIOYUlrDd0rmByq5zSN
Join me as we explore the complex, surprising, and often contradictory lives of women in the USSR. From revolutionary heroes to household managers, discover how Soviet women navigated a world of promises, sacrifices, and societal expectations.
👉This is Part 2 of the series, see Part 1 here: The Hidden Secrets of Russian Women Nobody Tells You, Part 1 https://youtu.be/r2L4hJMHveA
👉 JOIN ME ON THE JOURNEY Sign-up for news about the New Book here: https://elvirabary.com/elvira-barys-newsletter/
MY HISTORICAL FICTION BOOK SERIES
➡️ Russian Treasures (a historical novel about the Bolshevik Revolution and Russian Civil War) https://amzn.to/43PutaM
➡️ The White Ghosts' Empire (a historical novel about the Russian refugees who destroyed the myth of white supremacy in China in the 1920s) https://amzn.to/4owy45Z
➡️ The Prince of the Soviets (a historical novel about a foreign journalist who unexpectedly becomes part of the Soviet elite in Stalin’s Moscow) https://amzn.to/47O
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LearningTranscript
00:00Hi everyone! I'm Elvira Baeri, an author, and today I want to take you on a fascinating journey
00:05through the world of Soviet women. At the dawn of the 20th century, Soviet power pulled off the
00:12unthinkable. It gave women the right to vote and declared them equal to men. Revolutionary, right?
00:20But while the proclamations were grand, the reality on the ground was a little,
00:25let's just say, off script.
00:33The first Soviet leaders weren't exactly feminists. They were hardened revolutionaries, people who'd
00:40spent years in exile, dodging Tsarist police and voting in prison cells. In places like that,
00:47relationships take on a very different tone. Imagine this, a strict masculine hierarchy where
00:55women were either trophies to hunt or assistants to fetch tea and type up revolutionary propaganda
01:01articles. That's the mindset this man brought to the table. Women revolutionaries who'd stood
01:09shoulder to shoulder with men on the battlefield hoped they'd be invited to share in the power.
01:14No. Lenin's wife, Надежда Krupskaya, shuffled into a ceremonial role. Alexander Kalantai, shipped off as a diplomat.
01:25Vera Figner, politely retired.
01:33In the early days of the Soviet Union, the ideal woman was a fiery revolutionary. A fearless
01:40valkyrie willingly downed her life for the cause. Larissa Reisner became the dazzling poster girl of
01:47this archetype. Another example is Lelia Brigg, a Soviet socialite who captivated the imagination of
01:55Vladimir Mayakovsky, the most prominent poet of the Soviet era. Unbothered by the hardships of
02:03post-revolutionary Russia, Lelia immersed herself in creating a new Soviet artistic scene, shaping poetry,
02:11music, theatre and cinema. Men vied for her attention while women were baffled. Why her? She is not even
02:19pretty. But Lelia was the ultimate id girl of early Soviet Russia, armed with that elusive magic that
02:27left everyone under her spell. By the late 1920s, the ideal woman had splintered into two distinct images.
02:36For the working masses, it was the strong, healthy and tireless laborer, someone ready to mix concrete,
02:43eat, milk dozens of cows, or drive iron piles into the ground. But among the Soviet elite, the focus
02:50shifted from sacrifice to beauty and glamour. Party leaders found themselves gripped by midlife crisis.
02:58The Soviet utopia failed to materialize, the global revolution they dream of was not happening,
03:05and the USSR began to resemble a budget version of the Russian empire.
03:11What was all this for? A typical party leader wondered. I am aging and I haven't even lived.
03:20Disillusionment set in and priorities changed. Soviet leaders were secretly obsessed with Hollywood films
03:26but needed a Russian twist. Forget dainty flappers like Louis Brooke. Russian beauties were serious business.
03:34Think bold features, strength, and drama. Their first stars of Soviet cinema embodied this
03:41unapologetic grandeur. Suddenly, success was not measured just by political achievements.
03:47It also required a stunning wife or lover to signal your success. Just look at these May-December romances.
03:56A Soviet military hero married opera singer Mikhailova, 22 years his junior.
04:04Anatoliy Lunacharsky, the Soviet minister of education, tied the knot with theater actress
04:11Rosenthal, 25 years younger. Mikhail Kalinin, chairman of the Central Executive Committee,
04:19had a much younger operator singer Buck as his mistress. Even Stalin's second wife, NadjeĹľda
04:27Aleluyeva, though not actress, was over two decades younger than him. This was also the golden age of
04:36Russian ballet's revival. For Soviet men, the fear wasn't just about art. It was a socially accepted
04:43excuse to ogle beautiful bodies performing gravity-defying feats.
04:53For many women, marrying a party boss or a specialist was the fastest rule to
04:58stability. A home, food from the special distribution centers, and maybe even some luxuries.
05:04Pre-World War II, many families had maids or nannies because survival demanded it. No washing machines,
05:12water outages, endless lines for groceries. Someone had to manage it all. Usually it was a rural woman
05:21working for scraps because her village had even less. The housing crisis made things worse. Most families,
05:28even the privileged one, live in communal apartments sharing kitchens and bathrooms with strangers.
05:34Servants slept on floors or trunks in hallways. Women were expected to work because in the proletarian state,
05:44idleness was considered the ultimate sin. Moreover, a single income often couldn't support a family. While
05:52jobs offered perks like ration cards, vacation vouchers, and occasionally housing, women's salaries were
06:00much lower than those of men. Initially, the emancipation of women faced significant obstacles due to
06:07widespread illiteracy among women. But the new government took swift action to address this issue.
06:14Throughout the 1920s and 1930s, the state launched extensive literacy campaigns targeting both adults and
06:22children while actively promoting the idea that a girl could aspire to become a doctor, scientist,
06:28engineer or, in rare cases, even a manager. These efforts bore fruit. By the 1970s, seeing a woman
06:36in a managerial position was no longer surprising, except when it came to the upper echelons of the party
06:43elite. As in the past, the most prestigious roles remained firmly in the hands of men. However,
06:51there was no hesitation in assigning women to physically demanding jobs like stone carriers and loaders.
06:59In these cases, the Soviet state ensured true equality for both men and women. For propaganda purposes,
07:07the Soviet regime constantly sought examples of heroism and hard work. Officially, the USSR was a nation of
07:14workers and peasants where labor achievements were celebrated above all else. This gave rise to the
07:22phenomenon of the udarning, a person who worked more efficiently than others. Typically, this was a
07:29top-down initiative. Local officials were instructed to identify a suitable candidate, reward them, and write
07:38down glowing articles to showcase their accomplishments to the public.
07:43Being an udarnik was highly advantageous. It came with bonuses and perks, and public recognition often
07:53paved the way to a political career. Many udarniks eventually became members of the
07:59the highest bodies of state authority and secured enviable positions. For example, in the 1930s,
08:08tractor driver Pasha Angelina became the symbol of a new generation of women mastering complex machinery.
08:16However, who was chosen as an udarnik often depended less on actual achievements and more on decisions made by local
08:24party officials.
08:25If your contributions weren't reported up the chain, or if those in charge deemed you unsuitable, your hard work was
08:34irrelevant.
08:35Another distinct category of women recognized by the state included heroines of the Great Patriotic War.
08:41That is what we call World War II. These women deserve a separate video. Hopefully, I'll get to that one
08:48day.
08:49It's also worth mentioning female cosmonauts and athletes, who symbolized the USSR's lofty achievements.
08:56After retiring, they often found themselves in various councils or representative roles.
09:07Although women in the Soviet Union were rarely admitted to their highest echelons of power,
09:13many wielded significant authority at the local level. In a society where goods and opportunities were
09:20perpetually scarce, those responsible for distributing them had the power to make or break lives.
09:27More often than not, these roles were filled by women. For instance, a saleswoman at a shoe store might
09:35set aside coveted Yugoslavian boots for her useful acquaintances. In return, those acquaintances could
09:43offer favors, like helping her son secure admission to a university to avoid being drafted into the army.
09:50This system was called BLOOD, and I have a separate video on this topic.
09:55School principals and deputy principals, predominantly women, often had nearly unlimited control over students.
10:03If these roles were occupied by demeuring or cruel individuals, they could instill fear not only in the children,
10:11but also in their parents. A similar dynamic played out in trade unions. In the USSR, unions worked about
10:18protecting workers' rights, but about allocating scarce perks. For example, a factory might distribute vacation
10:25vouchers, but not enough for everyone. Union representatives decided who got to vacation on the Black Sea Resort
10:33and who had to settle for a mosquito-filled campsite near a local swamp. Judges were also often women,
10:42and they didn't always uphold justice. Corruption and nepotism were rampant in the USSR and widely
10:50accepted as the norm. To succeed, you needed to know how to live. In other words, secure a position
10:58that allowed you to control or allocate a valuable resource, which you could then leverage to fulfill
11:05your needs and take care of your family. Almost anything could become a resource. For example,
11:11a theater clock room attendant may refuse to take your winter coat if you arrived slightly late,
11:18claiming she had no space left. Without checking your coat, you couldn't enter the hall. Later comers
11:25often had to negotiate to resolve this situation. Dormitory supervisors wielded similar power.
11:32A student who crossed one could risk losing their housing. This pattern was pervasive,
11:39extending through every layer of society.
11:47Even if a woman had a job, she was still expected to handle all the household chores.
11:53In rural Russia, gender roles were sharply divided due to the nature of agricultural labor.
11:58Many tasks were simply beyond a woman's physical strength – holding logs or plowing fields,
12:05for example. Additionally, women were often either pregnant or nursing. Their responsibilities
12:11were bold around managing the household, cooking, washing, caring for children and the sick,
12:17as well as performing lighter field work and gathering mushrooms, berries, and herbs.
12:24Traditionally, feminine activities were seen as degrading for men. This mindset remained unchanged even
12:32after families moved to cities. Of course, exceptions existed, but in my grandmother's household,
12:38for instance. My grandfather never cooked, mopped floors, or made the bed. It was unthinkable. However,
12:45he would fetch water, chop wood, or fix broken items around the house.
12:50Anything involving technology or repairs was firmly labeled as men's work. Personally,
12:56I enjoy restoring antique furniture and tinkering with tools in my garage. Yet, many of my Russian
13:03friends view this hobby as utterly unfeminine. Interestingly, in the US, furniture restoration is
13:10often done by women. I vividly remember the first time I saw a woman driving a car. I was about
13:197 years
13:20old, which makes it 1982. Until then, I had never seen a woman behind the wheel. I was so shocked
13:28that I
13:28froze in the middle of the road and began tugging at my grandmother's sleeve in alarm. I felt wrong. That
13:36simply wasn't how things were supposed to be. While women broke into traditionally male-dominated
13:42professions, the reverse rarely happened. In Soviet times, preschool teachers, school teachers, nurses,
13:51hairdressers, and cleaners were almost exclusively women. Similarly, working with fabric and thread was
13:58entirely seen as women's work. In our region, the idea of a man engaging in such activities was
14:05unimaginable. Retail work was also considered a women's domain. Men in stores typically held managerial
14:14roles or worked as loaders. They could also be found in meat departments or special government
14:21distribution centers, areas where their masculinity was not questioned. A woman might become a respected
14:29poet or illustrator or, at most, a children's author. But the idea of a woman being a celebrated novelist
14:38was laughable. The term women's novel carried a dismissive tone, evoking derision from literary
14:46enthusiasts of male and female. The same applied to invention, philosophy, and law. A woman wasn't seen as
14:54capable of being an innovator, thinker, or negotiator. But one thing women could do was beg for arms,
15:04though only after growing old. Officially, the USSR claimed there were no destitute people,
15:10but in reality, the poor existed everywhere. A man could only beg if he was really old or disabled.
15:17On the other hand, there was no shortage of elderly female beggars. When I first moved to California,
15:24I was surprised to see that most of the local panhandlers were middle-aged men. So strange.
15:37Compliance wars created a severe gender imbalance in the Soviet Union. According to the 1959 census,
15:46there were only 641 men for every 1,000 women. In some villages, one man, often disabled, missing an eye
15:56or a leg, had to contend with dozens of young women seeking marriage. This shortage profoundly altered
16:04family culture in the later Soviet years. A man deemed marriage material became an object of fierce
16:11competition and standards for an acceptable husband dropped significantly. My grandmother, Zinaida,
16:19for instance, had just one criterion – as long as he does not drink. For many women,
16:25being married even to a fool or an alcoholic was considered far better than remaining single,
16:31as marriage was a crucial marker of social status. Despite Soviet society's male-centric narratives,
16:39many families functioned under an unofficial matriarchy. Women took charge of raising children,
16:46managing finances, and overseeing household affairs. They were also often the primary resource gatherers,
16:54leveraging relationships with friends and relatives to secure essential goods and opportunities.
17:00Men were expected to hand over their wages to their wives, who would then allocate the money as they saw
17:08fate.
17:08This dynamic placed Soviet men in a strange and often disempowering position. A man couldn't fully fulfill his
17:18traditional role as a provider or protector because so much in life depended on the state, not him.
17:25Men often worked grueling, fankless jobs with no real prospects, leaving them feeling unfulfilled.
17:33Traditional attitudes dismissed self-care as unmanly. Visiting doctors or looking after one's health was
17:40seen as a weakness. Overcrowded living conditions meant men had no refuge. The only private space
17:47available was the bathroom and even their neighbors or family members would eventually start knocking.
17:56Wives expected help with housework, given that women worked just as much as men. But for many men,
18:03this felt like a challenge to their masculinity. Many men lived far from their childhood homes and had lost
18:10touch with childhood friends. Often, they lacked close friendships altogether. Despite being surrounded
18:17by people, they felt deeply lonely. Spousal friendships were rare. The culture lacked examples or traditions that
18:26encouraged emotional closeness between partners. In traditional societies, boys were raised primarily
18:34by men, fathers, uncles, and older brothers who took them to hunt, work in the fields, or learn trades.
18:42This fostered a sense of belonging to the broader community of manhood. In contrast, in the Soviet Union,
18:50a boy's life was largely shaped by women, mothers, grandmothers, and teachers. Many boys grew up without
18:57positive male role models and some never encountered examples of healthy male behavior at all. Most men
19:05need to be a part of a male community where other respected men recognize their value. Throughout history,
19:12such communities have taken many forms – hunting parties, military units, exclusive clubs, sports teams,
19:20and even pirate crews or mafia networks. In the Soviet Union, the government suppressed these male spaces out of
19:28fear of dissent. To the outside world, Soviet men seemed to embody ruggedness and brute strength. In reality,
19:37they were grappling with a profound crisis of masculinity leading to destructive behaviors. Their inability to live up to
19:46traditional, traditional or personal ideals of masculinity drained their energy and undermined their purpose. As a result,
19:55widespread alcoholism and early mortality became defining issues among Soviet men, further worsening their
20:03gender imbalance. In my own community, women often lived 25 years longer than men.
20:16Soviet women suffered just as much from their masculinity crisis as men did. They yearned for partners who could solve
20:24problems, provide resources, and take responsibility. However, for many, such men existed only on the silver screen.
20:33A popular joke on the Russian internet suggests that same-sex families existed in the USSR long before
20:40they appeared in their West. Due to the severe shortage of men, many households consisted of mothers, grandmothers, and children.
20:51Ironically, the same women who longed for strong, capable men often raised generations of confused and insecure sons.
21:00Starved for male attention, mothers and grandmothers would dot on their boys, shielding them from danger,
21:07challenges, and decision-making. This gave rise to the archetype of the mama's boy, a man who habitually shifted responsibility
21:16onto others.
21:18These men found themselves torn between the desire to prove their masculinity and the need to appease the women who
21:26dominated their lives.
21:28If such a man married, it often ended in a quick divorce, as his mother would meddle in the young
21:34couple's affairs.
21:36Inevitably, the mama's boy would return to live with his mother, staying by her side until her death, or his
21:43own.
21:43The women around him would heave heavy sighs, roll up their sleeves, and mother just stay out of the way,
21:50before taking on all the household responsibilities themselves.
21:55Then, in their rare moments of respite, they would watch films about brave officers, heroic Soviet spies, or bulletwood machos.
22:05Yes, Indian movies were extremely popular in the USSR.
22:15In rural areas, people had as many children as nature allowed.
22:20Children were seen as both additional labor and a guarantee of care in old age.
22:26The concept of family planning simply didn't exist.
22:30If a farmer's wife had more children than she could support, she would simply stop feeding an unwanted baby.
22:37Child-rearing and education were not pressing concerns in the village.
22:41The entire community took responsibility for raising kids.
22:45Teenagers looked after the younger children, literacy was rarely taught,
22:50and as soon as a child was old enough to follow instructions, they were put to work.
22:56But when women began moving to cities, the situation changed dramatically.
23:03Cramped and inadequate housing left families with no space for children.
23:08The state attempted to assist mothers, as the country desperately needed new citizens
23:14after several devastating wars.
23:16Women were granted paid maternity leave, and nurseries, hospitals, and schools were built nationwide.
23:24In 1936, abortion was outlawed. But with no access to contraception, illegal and unsafe abortions became rampant.
23:33Women resorted to horrifying methods, knitting needles or even onions inserted into the uterus.
23:40By 1944, there were 30.5 abortions per 100 pregnancies in the Soviet Union.
23:48After Stalin's death, abortion was legalized again and became the primary method of family planning.
23:54Nearly every Soviet woman who was sexually active
23:57underwent at least one abortion in her lifetime.
24:01By the mid-1960s, Soviet women were having an estimated 7 million abortions per year.
24:10The post-war era also saw a dramatic decline in birth rates.
24:15While a typical family once had four or five surviving children, the new norm dropped to two or fewer.
24:23So, there was no baby boom in the Soviet Union after World War II.
24:32According to Soviet traditions, a woman was expected to marry between the ages of 18 and 22,
24:38with the first child arriving shortly thereafter.
24:42Whether you found a partner was often a matter of luck.
24:46One of my grandmothers met her husband at a dance, while the other met my grandfather on a steamboat trip.
24:54My aunt found her spouse at work.
24:57As for my parents, my father saw my mother on the street and immediately decided she was the woman of
25:04his dreams.
25:05My mother was stunningly beautiful, and many admired her,
25:09but only my father had the courage to approach her, strike up a conversation, and escort her home.
25:16The next day, my mother returned from school to find him in her kitchen, happily eating borscht and charming her
25:26mother.
25:26My grandmother was thoroughly impressed, and that sealed the deal.
25:30She told my mother that he was the perfect tutor, and that she should snatch him up immediately.
25:37He is bound to become a minister.
25:39While my father did not become a minister, he did become an inventor.
25:43And I even have a separate video about his wild and fascinating life.
25:49The acute shortage of suitable men meant that those considered desirable or prestigious
25:55often maintained second families or long-term mistresses.
25:59I knew a woman born in 1951 who worked as a secretary for various bosses throughout her life.
26:07She was very attractive, but never married.
26:10Instead, she pursued a different strategy.
26:13She became the mistress of her superiors, earning herself an apartment, a car, and many other gifts.
26:20For women who could not find a suitable partner, fleeting vacation romances were often the only option.
26:27Having affairs with married men at home was challenging.
26:31Not only was there no private space, but being caught could lead to severe consequences if colleagues or neighbors found
26:40out.
26:40However, while on vacation far from prying eyes, people felt freer to indulge in temporary flings.
26:48Some women resorted to placing personal ads in newspapers, looking to meet a good man.
26:55But this often came across as desperate.
26:58Local cultural centers also hosted events for those over 30.
27:03But in Soviet terms, being over 30 was seen as hopelessly past one's prime.
27:10Middle-aged women struggled to find partners because their peers often sought younger brides.
27:15The USSR worshipped youth.
27:18Foreign visitors often remarked on the abundance of beautiful young women, but noted the absence of attractive middle-aged women.
27:27Older women were automatically relegated to the role of babushka, a shapeless figure in their headscarf and coat.
27:36This old age often began around 45 or 50.
27:40This happened because family resources were scarce and there was simply not enough to go around for both children and
27:48parents.
27:49Families prioritized their daughters during their youth, investing everything in them in hopes they would secure good marriages or positions
27:58at prestigious enterprises.
28:00To do so, girls had to be appealing.
28:04Over time, work, poor health care, economic struggles and family issues took their toll.
28:11Once a woman lost her youthful charm, her opportunities dried up.
28:16All she had left was the capital she managed to build in her younger years.
28:22Everly women rarely found new partners.
28:24After my grandfather passed away, my grandmother Diana had an old admirer, Uncle Kostya, who began courting her.
28:31However, my grandmother found the idea improper.
28:35They were both over 60.
28:38Despite her loneliness, she only occasionally allowed him to help her and even then only on the condition that he
28:46told no one.
28:48Society expected grandmothers to forgo their personal lives entirely and dedicate themselves to helping their adult children.
28:56Grandmothers often screamed on their own needs, lent money to their children and looked after their grandchildren.
29:04While this wasn't universal, it was considered the norm.
29:20In the next part of my story about Russian women, we'll move to modern times and explore how women lived
29:28after the USSR's collapse.
29:30Subscribe to my channel and if you are fascinated by Russian culture and history, visit my website and sign up
29:38for updates on my historical novel series Russian Treasures.
29:42I'll share with you an incredible story about a woman who captivates and inspires me to this day.
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