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7 Days NZ - Season 18 Episode 20 - Thursday July 2, engsub watchfull🍿🍿🍿 Secret Engagement
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00:20I am Jeremy Corbett, JC, welcome to our series finale where I've gathered up the finest specimens
00:25in New Zealand comedy to send them on one final lap around the topical news block.
00:29This is seven days, let's meet the team shall we and leading team one a man with a head
00:33so smooth, it's just released its own jazz album, looking like a giant thumb emerging
00:38from a pumpkin, it's Paul Ego!
00:44Thank you Aotearoa and thanks very much Geoff, I've got a great team, team one tonight, both
00:49big fans of cricket, he actually does love cricket, she once chased an ex-boyfriend down
00:54the street with a bat.
00:55Yes, let's sandpaper the balls of Justine Smith and Ben Hurley!
01:03And the leader of team two is what you'd get if the Briscoes lady was really good at netball,
01:07it's Mel Braceville!
01:12So great to be here on team two, or as I'm calling it, team cool, do something cool guys!
01:19We like drugs!
01:25Never mind, we'll stick with team two!
01:33I hear you asking New Zealand, what does it take to make the news, what does it take?
01:36We're about to find out, it's a game called News Makers.
01:39I'm going to give the teams each a cryptic clue that hints at a headline story, they have
01:43to give me the question that goes with it, and then the story, it's about team one.
01:46You are first up.
01:47Okay.
01:47Here is your answer, what is the question, what is the story for Breathless?
01:51What am I exiting a bean bag?
01:56I can get in it, hey, it's a getting out, I'm like wow I live here now.
02:02We all get changed together backstage, what does Corbett leave me?
02:07Drink it in Benny boy.
02:10What's the fourth best Cause song after So Young, Runaway and the unforgettable MTV Unplugged cover
02:21of R.E.M.'s Everybody Hurts?
02:22Right.
02:24Wow.
02:25What was Guy Montgomery after delivering that joke?
02:30Happy with himself?
02:33Any idea what the story might be?
02:36There was a quote, a weird quote from Shane Jones this week about journalists in which
02:42he said that they were, was it Breathless Hobbits, there's something about, it was a weird term
02:47like they are Breathless Hobbits and you're like what does that mean?
02:50But was that him who said that?
02:52Yeah well done Paul, yeah.
02:54What type of hobbits did New Zealand First MP Shane Jones call the New Zealand media
02:58this week Breathless?
02:59He's in a bit of hot water over a trip he took to Toronto last year for a mining convention
03:03where he had a limousine on standby for 24 hours despite the venue being a three minute
03:08walk from his hotel.
03:12I'll tell you what, if they're upset about how much Shane Jones spent on a limo, wait
03:16till they find out how much Simeon Brown has spent on that spaceship ride outside the
03:19supermarket.
03:22That's going to be the next scandal.
03:24Oh absolutely.
03:26He's trying to play it down, I think he overspent by about 30 grand is sort of the accusation.
03:31Yeah because they gave him a budget of like 33,000 and he said oh no it was 63,000.
03:36I'm like what are you a builder?
03:39Have you seen him refer to himself in the third person now?
03:44He calls himself the Matua.
03:46Yeah.
03:47And he's like I think you're trying to discredit the Matua.
03:51And he's the Matua?
03:53Like he's travelling like a rapper, he's starting to refer to himself as a rapper.
03:57Of course the Hobbits are breathless, they're going to take the ring all the way to Moror.
04:03And guess what they're having the Shire Shane Jones limos, okay?
04:07Those little fellas are on their feet the whole time, okay?
04:10You think you can handle the power of the ring?
04:13You can't even handle being second in charge to New Zealand's fifth largest party.
04:23Also David Seymour said that he should give the money back and that David Seymour was embarrassed for Shane Jones.
04:29So if you're in a point in your life where David Seymour is embarrassed for you, you really need to
04:34check your shit out eh?
04:36Actually this wasn't as bad as I thought it was because I saw the headline and it said Shane Jones
04:40spends too much money looking at miners.
04:47He strikes me as a sort of guy Shane Jones who would go to a strip club and then ask
04:51for a GST receipt at least.
04:54David Seymour came out and said, oh if this was me in this situation I'd be so embarrassed.
04:59Do you know how badly you have to screw up to make David Seymour feel embarrassed?
05:04Yeah, wait till how embarrassed you'll be when you look at this program back tomorrow night.
05:10Jazzy just said that.
05:12Did you?
05:17So good.
05:19We've all done it, we have all done it.
05:21We have all done it.
05:22I'm sorry I've got a limo outside.
05:24Just gonna go.
05:25They're making a big fuss about the limo that he took to the conference when it was only next door.
05:29What they haven't mentioned is the fact that he took a helicopter to the bathroom.
05:33Yeah.
05:35What they haven't mentioned is when he took a helicopter to the bathroom.
05:40Bye.
05:41Embrace it Mel, embrace it.
05:43Alright, team two over to you now.
05:45Here's your answer from the last seven days.
05:4752 stories.
05:49Ooh, what do they put in a recipe before they get to the ingredients?
05:54What does my grandpa tell me when I ask him where he keeps his sugar?
06:00How do you know your friend on Instagram isn't over her ex?
06:08Any idea what the story might be, team two?
06:11Wow.
06:11Pretty tough.
06:12Which one, you know?
06:13Yeah, that's right Hedy.
06:15The one story that wraps up the 52 stories.
06:21Oh, is it?
06:21Okay, is there some sort of building in the news?
06:25We think it's a building of some kind that has possibly been in the news.
06:29There's gonna be a tall building happening.
06:33Already happened actually Mel.
06:35How tall is Seascape, the half-built skyscraper that has stood abandoned in the heart of downtown Auckland for about
06:39two years?
06:40Would have been the tallest residential tower in New Zealand.
06:43Instead has earned the nickname the Ghost Tower.
06:45It would be expensive to demolish, so it's gone up for sale if you've got a spare $300 million.
06:50Apparently 44 prospective bidders have registered interest.
06:54Experts estimate the cost of demolishing the building around about $10 million.
06:58And if I wanted to spend $10 million to destroy something, I'd just get divorced again.
07:06Don't need a building for that, do you?
07:09Well, she owns it now anyway.
07:10Yeah.
07:12So we've got a tall building we don't need that's gonna cost a shitload to demolish.
07:17I mean, it's moments like this you really regret killing Osama bin Laden.
07:26So this is like, this is like what Airbnb says you're gonna get.
07:30Yeah.
07:31And this is what happens when you give check-in.
07:35It's a great opportunity, I reckon, to cut this off at the base and lay it down and it can
07:39be a second harbour bridge.
07:41Yes!
07:41You could just turn it into a dairy and then they'll just ram-rate it.
07:46Why don't we keep building, except I'm sick of all the buildings looking like buildings.
07:51What are you...
07:52What's your alternative?
07:53Just build, like if you're gonna spend that much money, build it to look like a big person.
07:58Like, imagine that a big old skyscraper that looks like a f***ing person.
08:02That's gonna make the skyline pop.
08:04Yeah.
08:05What about the big girl on Squid Game that shoots you?
08:09No, you want to live in... No, no, no.
08:13You're not going to talk to yourself.
08:15Why am I crazy at this?
08:17That's an artist's impression of what it would look like, that's alright.
08:19What I suggest is something like this.
08:23I think we understand.
08:25We understand what you're after.
08:29I just feel like I'm not communicating very closely.
08:31Oh, hey!
08:32You mean a person?
08:33Yeah!
08:36You know what they say about a ghost tower?
08:39It will stay there until it has been avenged.
08:45I didn't know that.
08:47That's what they always say.
08:49I think a lot of people didn't know that about ghost towers.
08:52We just say they say.
08:53They say.
08:54You say?
08:55I mean, the voices in my...
08:59The one that's telling me to set things on fire.
09:02What?
09:04Very good.
09:05I'm sticking with buildings for the points.
09:07Team one, you can have 1.3 million.
09:09That's the valuation of T-doll's giant corrugated iron sheep and dog buildings which are up for sale.
09:14Oh, fantastic.
09:14You've got a spare mill or two.
09:16Yeah, man.
09:16And you can have three.
09:17The number of New Zealand cricket legends, Team 2, that announced their retirement after the White Ferns exited the T20
09:22Cricket World Cup.
09:23Thank you, Susie Bates, Sophie Devine and Leah Tahuhu.
09:26We salute you.
09:27First ever star of the eve goes to Team 1.
09:29Oona.
09:34Stars are very important.
09:35Stars are important.
09:36Not only will the team with the most at the end of the night win the episode, but they'll also
09:40win the entire season.
09:40Woo!
09:41Alright.
09:42Big award for this.
09:43Please, Oona as I reveal it to you.
09:45There it is.
09:45It's the prize we've been playing for all year.
09:48Which I'm only just realising now I've failed to mention.
09:51Yes.
09:51It's the iconic golden pineapple.
09:54Our God to whom we pray.
09:55The vessel which holds the values of the show and also vitamin C.
09:59All hail the golden pineapple.
10:01Alright, time now for the highlight of every politician's career where they get to sit in a slightly uncomfortable chair
10:06while clueless comedians fire questions right into their eyes.
10:09It is Yes Minister joining us today is the Deputy Mayor of Auckland City.
10:13Please welcome Desley Simpson.
10:17Nice dance Desley.
10:19Oh, careful with the brakes there.
10:21Coming in hot.
10:21Coming in hot.
10:22Yes.
10:23Thank you for joining us.
10:25Right.
10:25Desley, your job to refrain from saying yes or no no matter what these people ask you.
10:29Understand?
10:30I understand.
10:31Okay.
10:31Take it away teams.
10:32Desley, you work directly under kind of an older boomer guy.
10:36And some would say, you know, he's been hanging up to that job for just a bit too long.
10:43And as kind of a two I see as a woman who's like close to that job but maybe thinks
10:48she would do a great job of it.
10:50Um, do you think that perhaps, do you think perhaps you're just waiting for him to f***ing die?
10:59It's a long dress rehearsal.
11:02Sure.
11:03Great, great answer.
11:03Um, Desley, I love your sunglasses.
11:06Are you aware it's night time?
11:07I mean, people ask me that all the time, right?
11:08But, um, it keeps my hair out of my eyes.
11:11Desley, do you think that the TV show at the end of its 18th season is sort of really reaching
11:16for guests when they have someone with a fake job like Deputy Mayor for a second time?
11:20Oh, no blow mate, blow blow.
11:23It's a great job.
11:24Trust me.
11:24I'll trust you.
11:25You do agree.
11:26You're like the sensible aunt looking after the drunk uncle, aren't you?
11:29Well...
11:30It's like, you're going nuts and you'll drag him out of the room literally and then come back and tell
11:34the media what he actually meant.
11:36Is that what the...
11:37That happens.
11:37It has happened.
11:38Is that what the sunglasses are for just in case you need a weekend at Bernie's?
11:43Lane Brown.
11:46Desley, let me ask you this.
11:48Were you in charge of the deep clean of the Ngati Fatua room after Len Brown left?
11:53Oh, thank goodness I wasn't.
11:57Okay.
11:58I read that you were, uh, well, that you are an organist. What sort of things do you organise?
12:06Uh, I can play and have done for many years the town hall pipe organ.
12:12Wow, amazing.
12:14Yeah.
12:14That's what Len Brown also called it.
12:18Well, you've been your voice.
12:19I was playing the pipe organ.
12:20I was playing the pipe organ.
12:22Desley, on your Wikipedia and also in some other things, it says you're a bit cagey about the actual year
12:27you're born.
12:28Are you embarrassed to be 57?
12:33Ages but a number.
12:35Sure.
12:35As you would know, madam.
12:40I mean, madam was the worst part of it.
12:44It was.
12:46Madam.
12:47Yeah.
12:47I wouldn't.
12:49Desley, um, you're married to someone who was a member of the National Party, um, and your ex-husband was
12:55a member of the National Party.
12:57Do you know that you can vote for them, you don't have to marry them?
13:03Sometimes I'll finally get it right.
13:04I've got it right this time and I'm married to a fabulous guy.
13:08Okay.
13:08Two ticks, eh?
13:10Two ticks blue, that's who you do.
13:14As an Auckland rate payer, I like to think I contribute a fair bit to the local economy by buying
13:19a lot of wine.
13:20Um, is there any chance you could get me a bigger recycling bin?
13:25The bigger recycling bins are absolutely available to you should you wish one.
13:29So that's a yes.
13:31Close.
13:31I will arrange a bigger recycling bin for you.
13:35Good, you heard her on TV.
13:38I'm gonna, I'll have a question.
13:41I love your top, by the way.
13:42Oh, thank you.
13:43Nothing, you know, you're just tactile.
13:45Oh, thank you.
13:46I am tactile.
13:48Um, I've got a question.
13:51Do you ever get like a massage?
13:52Oh, yeah.
13:53Yeah.
13:53Oh, that's a yes.
13:55Carry on.
13:56That's what got it.
13:57Do you ever, do you ever think halfway through?
14:00Oh, this is a bit weird isn't this?
14:05It's like, I don't really know them.
14:12You don't go to the same massage places.
14:15One more question for you.
14:17Um, in a lot of political TV shows, they often show the leader of an office or an organisation as
14:23like a token puppet who doesn't really know what they're doing.
14:26And it's the one, the next one down, who's really got all the power and know-how.
14:30Can you relate to that?
14:33Definitely, I see some similarities.
14:36Oh dear, she's good.
14:38She is very good.
14:40Knives are out, Wayne.
14:42You have to say it a little louder.
14:43Yeah.
14:45All right, give it up for Desley Simpson, Deputy Mayor of Auckland.
14:48Thank you, Desley.
14:50Thanks so much for coming on the show.
14:53And keep the applause going for team two.
14:58All right, we move on.
14:59Time now for the Burger Fuel Brain Grill, where we turn back the hands of time.
15:02This week we're going back to 1989.
15:05Team one, I'm going to show you a video.
15:06You just need to tell me what it's about.
15:08Here we go.
15:09Do this with a great sense of hope and appreciation for all that's been done.
15:14And I trust that the future will be one which makes everybody happy.
15:25Wow.
15:26Are they turning on New Zealand's internet?
15:30That was the New Zealand version of a nuclear launch.
15:34But it was actually just a couple of sky rockets.
15:36Yeah, that's right.
15:38It looked like some sort...
15:39It wasn't the turn...
15:40This might have got the year on.
15:41It's not TV3 being turned on, is it?
15:44Let's have a look, Paul.
15:45Got a bit more video footage for you.
15:47Action.
15:49Hey, yeah.
15:51Oh, yeah.
15:57Home is where the welcome is.
16:00Home is where you're never alone.
16:04Home is where you long to be.
16:05Keep your faces that you know.
16:07On this love and laughter's the face you want to know.
16:13Home to TV3.
16:16Come home to the feeling.
16:19TV3.
16:20Come home to the list.
16:22We can give you awesome home to what you can do.
16:26Come home to the feeling.
16:28Only on three.
16:30Oh, yeah.
16:31That was great.
16:34Well done, Paulie.
16:36Yes, that was the launch of TV3.
16:38A network that went from strength to strength and never had any trouble whatsoever.
16:42All right, you have earned yourself a break.
16:44And after that, a special treat.
16:46When we return, I'll personally take you down to the beach for a bit of a splash around in Club
16:49Topicana.
16:50See you soon on Saturday.
16:58Hola, mis amigos.
16:59Come on in, New Zealand.
17:01The water's fine.
17:01Welcome back to Seven Days.
17:02I'm glad to see you waxed your legs and your surfboards to slide smoothly into Club Topicana.
17:07Play the steel drums.
17:18Club Topicana, as always, brought to you by Dole Pineapples.
17:21Did you know a pineapple is not a single fruit?
17:23It's a collection of many berries around a central stalk.
17:27Also note, if your central stalk starts to grow multiple berries, see a doctor.
17:31All right.
17:31This fruity boy also housing a collection of interesting news stories I want the comedians to elaborate on for me.
17:36So let's do it.
17:37Let's get stuck in.
17:38Yes, this is our last show for the year.
17:41There are so many stories we won't get to talk about.
17:43So please show me some of them.
17:44Some examples of news from the rest of 2026.
17:52Wow, it really was the Warriors year.
17:56Oh, you've done it now, Paul.
17:58Have you done it, Paul?
17:59Yes!
18:02Even though it's been months since the Football World Cup,
18:04an investigation has revealed that many of the injuries sustained by the players weren't as serious as they made out.
18:15And breaking news, the Strait of Hormuz has converted. It's now the Gay of Hormuz.
18:20And it's fabulous.
18:27After being exiled to the country, the former Prince Andrew was discovered trying to have sex with a hay bale.
18:35King Charles is calling this the final straw.
18:45Good evening. It's Saturday, November 7. I'm Samantha Hayes.
18:50And in breaking news, one of the two major political parties has won the election.
18:54And everyone is pissed off.
19:02After many days missing, Mr Corbett was found wandering the streets of Epsom saying,
19:06your team next, team two.
19:12Aww.
19:15To politics now, and Prime Minister Chris Luxon's return from the NATO Parliamentary Summit in Istanbul, Turkey,
19:21describing the trip as an enormous success,
19:24while flowing his luscious new locks of hair.
19:37The latest file drop reveals that Jeremy Corbett did visit the island.
19:43Celebrity treasure island, where he made an unlikely alliance with his friend, Abby.
19:50Who is actually really good at sports, even though no-one thought she was gonna be.
20:00That's the news, not a f***ing fairytale.
20:05Alright, back to our pineapple.
20:06The next story.
20:08A Whangarei person has gone viral for driving their car backward around town.
20:12What is this? The Fast and the Furious, but the Fs are WHs?
20:15I want to see more examples of small town blockbusters, please.
20:19Small town blockbusters.
20:24Yes, Luke.
20:25He is your father.
20:27Although, it could be Dave for the mechanics, I'm not really...
20:35I'll have a swapper of Lion Red, please.
20:38Shaken.
20:46Mom, I see dead people.
20:48Don't worry, honey. This is Oomaru. They all look like that.
20:57Never let go, Jack.
21:00Cruising on the internet.
21:02Yeah.
21:03Flying to the other side.
21:11Here's looking at you, you fugly slut.
21:25Wanaka forever.
21:33I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse, but also, like, all good if not.
21:47Oh, God.
21:49Oh, God.
21:50Oh, God.
21:51Where am I?
21:53Huntley.
21:54I won't be back.
22:02At the end of the day, I'm just a girl standing in front of a guy who might be my
22:08cousin.
22:16You shall not pass.
22:18You shall not pass.
22:18NCA level 2, so you've got to go and be a hairdresser now.
22:25All right, we go back to the pineapple again for our next story.
22:29Oh, yes.
22:29The founder of Les Mills.
22:30Les Mills passed away this week.
22:32The ripe old age of 91.
22:33Good innings.
22:34No doubt he would have seen all types of gym bunnies in his career.
22:37The good and the bad.
22:38No one wants to see the good, but I do want to see the bad.
22:41Show me some examples of terrible gym etiquette, please.
22:46Oh, yeah, I didn't wipe down the machine, but don't worry.
22:48It isn't sweat.
22:49It's piss.
22:50SHE LAUGHS
23:00Hiya!
23:03Hiya!
23:06Hiya!
23:10She's not the rough thing.
23:15Free weights.
23:17Score.
23:27I thought this was hot yoga some of these people are real mingers
23:36you want to see my snatch
23:41then I'll lift some weights are you using that machine yeah good you need to you
23:49little weak all right time we're going back to the pineapple look this is the
24:00last show of the year and I've always enjoyed watching this game and I sort of
24:04thought I might have a go can I join in I I suspect it's harder than it looks so go
24:15easy I'll join your team Paul because that seems age-appropriate all right here's
24:20the story this week Aussie TV host Carl Stefanovic was axed by Channel 9 in
24:24Australia after he did a controversial podcast interview with the right-wing
24:28figure what is he gonna do now is my question I thought we should see some
24:31examples of TV hosts doing other jobs okay it's your time key order 35 years no
24:42parole
24:47okay class I'm mr. Corbett I'll be taking you today I've got the scores from your
24:51latest tests now Timmy you can have the number of your parents who turned up to
24:56your parent-teacher interview zero Damien you can have your mum out of 10 8.5
25:07hi there ah you've got your warrant a fitness sticker let me stick that on your car it's the only
25:13thing I'm qualified
25:13for I'm stick man pretty good hello I'm Jeremy Corbett I'm gonna be your marriage
25:28counselor for today so I'm David you've got six seconds on the clock I want you
25:33to give me 10 reasons why it's wrong to cheat well as you can see here this this
25:42line here is a slight fracture of the pelvis and and you have a light smash
25:46there on the on the on the on the fibula and this is my picture
25:56okay mr. Phillips we've done the first of your two breast implants the other one
26:01will be doing right after this well I've had a look at the results and I can tell
26:12you you have pneumonia I can give you some antibiotics for it but first spell
26:19pneumonia for Dr. Montgomery oh no no no don't just start spelling you ought to do a stupid challenge
26:25first put a hat on your head and forceps in your groin I think we can wrap it up there
26:34can't we play the steel drums
26:47you nailed it thank you very much Paul I'm not sure about that but obviously team one is going to
26:52win that you can have the amount
26:55Donald Trump made from Trump branded watches in the last year he's been
27:00selling them 8.2 million which pales next to the 2 billion he made through his
27:04crypto business dodgy team 2 you can have 12 that's the number of New Zealanders
27:10who've been injured by vending machines in the last 20 years it's pretty good over
27:1520 years I think we're nailing it well done New Zealand well done team one they give the star
27:21all right it's time for a break up a grab your woolly hats in your large yellow rain jacket because
27:25we've
27:25got some sea shanties for you in slice of seven right after the break
27:38well blow me down yeehaw climb aboard mateys for we are setting sail into a stormy round of slice of
27:45seven
27:45this week we're joined by some swashbucklers from the capital please welcome the Wellington sea shanty society
27:56all right teams the WSS are going to sing you a song each about a new story sung to the
28:02tune in one of their
28:02favorite shanties once you've heard it please tell me what story they are singing about and we'll start
28:06with you team one
28:07yeah
28:07mmm
28:16jeez
28:17you left primo primo at the petrol pump you're treating alexandra like a calcium
28:34it's a mystery mystery who has done this crime oh you gotta leave the nippies empty unless it's
28:49flavor in line oh lime no lime cause you're bailing out on your milk
29:01why didn't it go in the bin why didn't it go in the bin you need jailing we demand an
29:09arrest
29:10all the fun terrorists win and i can't wait for the unnecessary true crime investigation
29:39can i just say i've never seen or heard anything so wellington in my whole life
29:47alexandra was mentioned yes and milk and milk brands and there i'm sure this is a story that's
29:53come back that we did a few years ago there's some weird person in alexandra who's like half
29:59drinking milk and leaving it around the town well done the south island town of alexandra has been
30:05hit for the second time by a mystery man leaving half drunk containers of milk
30:09often flavored milk we did discuss this story two years ago and the trail went cold but now he's
30:14back sleuths up and down the motto trying to figure out his identity once and for all police have responded
30:20saying for the last time this isn't a crime
30:26it's like a um you know that movie memento
30:29yes it's like that it's like there's a guy with amnesia who keeps forgetting he's lactose intolerant
30:35he's like milk bad are we sure that it's like the same person it could be a copycat because they
30:45notoriously like milk that's true that's right there was also there was a story a couple years ago where
30:52there was a guy on waiheke island who was half eating like sausages and bread that's right and
30:56leaving it in letter boxes yes this is just the south island version of that and you know what you
31:03used
31:03to work on a show called the project yes and you sent a special reporter to investigate tony lyle
31:09yeah the half sausages and i can't imagine why that show stopped
31:17we were doing the hard-hitting stuff that kiwis want to know about like it's like this story it's
31:22number one most searched i don't get why people still drink cow's milk when there's so many better
31:28alternatives such as mother's breast
31:34very hard to get at the supermarket though i've asked yeah where's where's the mother's milk section
31:57what do you get when you make yum
31:59what do you get when you make yum
32:01what do you get when you make yum
32:04it's michelin star dining
32:07stars for your salad
32:09over
32:09season
32:10For your freshly joe
32:12Stars all round our tittle
32:14Stars named after tyres
32:17What do you get for your lemon crusted
32:20Salmon filled with a caviar mustard
32:22Big fanny lobster filled with custard
32:25You get us a tyre
32:27Ooh yeah, fluffy flambe
32:30Ooh yeah, creamy sorbet
32:33Served up to Jeremy Colbert
32:35Stars named after tyres
32:37Stars named after tyres
32:47I love that here, Meg.
32:49I love most of all that you guys
32:51haven't really fully committed to a dress theme.
32:56There's just a lot going on.
32:58Also, like, obviously you have to practice, right?
33:01Because you all play different instruments
33:02and sing and whatnot.
33:03It makes a lot of sense for four of you,
33:05but it feels crazy for one of you
33:06to have to leave your family every night.
33:11Where do you have to go?
33:13Do they really need you?
33:15It's not the same without me, darling.
33:17Fish doesn't fly itself, you know.
33:19He tried to tune my fish.
33:23He's doing scales.
33:31Jeremy, I feel like a big clue in this
33:34was when they said Michelin stars.
33:37This is the Michelin star rating system
33:41has come to New Zealand
33:44and given out their stars
33:46and I looked at it, it's all bullshit.
33:47Not one wild bean cafe on the list.
33:50A lot of arguments, yeah.
33:52I think just over six million it cost us.
33:54Michelin stars have been awarded in New Zealand
33:56for the first time ever.
33:57The country's finest restaurants celebrated
33:59at a ceremony on Tuesday night.
34:0115 restaurants were recognised in total.
34:0314 received a star
34:04while Queenstown's Essence earned two.
34:07Very fancy.
34:08And being awarded a star
34:09is a sign you're at the absolute top
34:11of your profession.
34:12And not to brag,
34:13but several of my comedy shows
34:15have been awarded one star, so...
34:22Well, it's the Michelin tyre company.
34:25If they wanted to make it in New Zealand
34:25it should have been like
34:26Tony's tyre service stars or something.
34:28Yeah, when I was a kid
34:29we just used to follow around
34:30the actor who played Vince Martin
34:32from Bow Repairs
34:33and eat where he ate.
34:35He hated it.
34:38And are we sure we want to take
34:39dining advice from the French?
34:41Because I've seen how they kiss
34:42and it is disgusting.
34:44Yeah, it's like they're trying
34:45to give the food back.
34:46That's right.
34:47Oh, ooh.
34:49Their EP release tour
34:50is on in Auckland this weekend
34:52and in Wellington at the end of July.
34:53Go to wellingtonseashantysociety.com
34:55for tickets.
34:56Give it up for the mighty
34:57Wellington Sea Shanty Society.
34:58Woo-hoo!
35:04Just a bit of a review
35:05of the show for the scores.
35:06You can have 465.
35:08That is the number of episodes
35:10Seven Days has done
35:11in its career.
35:12This is 465.
35:13And you can have people
35:14that have been in the Seven Days studio
35:16over the last 18 years.
35:1737,000 roughly.
35:19Which means you, Team 2,
35:20get the star.
35:21Yay!
35:22Thank you!
35:25All right, here's Open Team 2
35:27and remain focused.
35:28It is your turn for the burger
35:29if you're brain grill.
35:30We're going back to 1989.
35:31This one is just an image,
35:33so have a look.
35:34Tell me what's going on.
35:34Is this the prototype
35:37for Guy Montgomery's
35:38dream building?
35:44That was from Germany
35:45in 1989
35:46where celebration
35:47flooded out into the street
35:48following the fall
35:49of the Berlin Wall
35:49and the reunification
35:51of Germany.
35:51No idea why that weirdo
35:53had the mannequin legs,
35:53so there's a bit of a letdown,
35:54isn't it?
35:55It is break time.
35:56We've got a special treat
35:57for you after that.
35:58Jeremy's special game.
35:59We'll see you soon
35:59on Seven Days.
36:08G'day and welcome back
36:10to Seven Days.
36:11It's been a special year
36:12so far.
36:13I couldn't pass up
36:13one more rummage
36:14through the Jeremy's
36:15special game box.
36:16I've chosen my fave
36:17from there.
36:17It's Charade the News.
36:19Each team will have
36:20one member
36:21act out the items
36:22on these cards
36:23using nothing
36:23but their supple bodies.
36:25No talking involved.
36:26Ben, I've chosen you
36:27to represent Team 1.
36:28Here, come and get your card.
36:30Since the show focuses
36:31mainly on things
36:32that happened
36:32in the last seven days,
36:33I thought let's broaden
36:34that to any event
36:35throughout time.
36:36So your category...
36:38What?
36:39Your category
36:40is historical events.
36:42Ben, your time
36:43starts now.
36:45Woodstock.
36:47Yes, well done.
36:48Really good.
36:49Oh, far out.
36:54Rugby World Cup.
36:55Rugby World Cup.
36:55Dan Carter.
36:57Stephen Donald
36:58kicking the penalty.
36:59Winning the Rugby World Cup.
37:01Yeah, that'll look good.
37:022011 Rugby World Cup.
37:03Hurry up.
37:04Oh, Jesus Christ.
37:05Crucifixion.
37:06Titanic, yes.
37:07Titanic, yes.
37:08Well done.
37:08Jesus Christ sinking.
37:12Oh, uh...
37:13Stephen George, Stephen...
37:17Oh, uh...
37:20Oh, uh...
37:20JFK.
37:21Yes, well done.
37:27Oh...
37:28Grant Elliott
37:28having a stick to make...
37:32Walking on the Moon.
37:36He's so good at this.
37:39Oh, Moses writing the...
37:40Oh, the tablets.
37:41Oh, tagging.
37:42Writing the first joke.
37:45Um...
37:46Oh, the Treaty of Waitangi.
37:48Oh, my God.
37:52Oh, my God.
37:54Oh, my God.
37:54Oh, for the charade.
37:55The birth of Christ.
37:56Oval of us.
37:57And the...
37:57No, no.
37:59Oh.
38:01Oh.
38:02Oh, the atom bomb.
38:04It's a big...
38:05Oh, f***ing bang.
38:06It was a big bang.
38:07You're done.
38:08Oh, the big bang.
38:08All right, well done.
38:09Well done.
38:09Blood work.
38:10That was amazing.
38:11We did good.
38:12We did good.
38:12Well done.
38:13You did very well.
38:14I have you at seven.
38:15I have you at seven.
38:16Judges will re-judge.
38:18If Guy yells out the answers,
38:19we should get those.
38:20You're right.
38:20You've got eight.
38:21If he was stupid enough to help us...
38:24True.
38:24That is actually true.
38:25So you got eight.
38:26Well done.
38:26All right, so the official score
38:28is eight for Team One.
38:29You've got that to beat, Abby.
38:30And Guy was a big fan of Ben,
38:31so I hope he can live up
38:32to that expectation.
38:34You'll be doing the acting.
38:35There are your cards.
38:36Taylor Swift, Travis, Kelsey
38:38are reportedly holding
38:39their wedding celebrations
38:40in New York City this week.
38:41Your category is Famous Couples.
38:44Ooh.
38:45Famous Couples.
38:46All right, that's a tough one.
38:48Are you ready, Abby?
38:49Yes, I'm ready
38:50for the performance of my lifetime.
38:51Time starts now.
38:53Go.
38:55Oh.
38:55Oh.
38:56Sexy, maybe.
38:58Oh, football.
38:59Is it Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey?
39:00Oh, Posh Spice and David Beckham.
39:02Yes.
39:04Oh, Marilyn Monroe.
39:07Oh, Adam and Eve.
39:09Yes, well done.
39:22Oh, Beyonce and Jason.
39:24Yes.
39:27Oh, Romeo and July.
39:32Oh.
39:33Mmmmm...
39:35Oh, sorry, R2D2 and C3P2.
39:40Oh, my God!
39:42Oh, my God!
39:46Um...
39:47Uh...
39:49Oh, my God!
39:56It's a Corbin and his wife!
39:59I'm trying to find us dance.
40:01Try the famous dance.
40:03Oh, David Seymour and, uh...
40:07David Seymour and Winston Peake.
40:09Yes!
40:16Mickey and Minnie Mouse.
40:24Stephen, Joyce and the dildo.
40:27Flickety fell.
40:33Superb.
40:35Brilliant.
40:39What a comeback!
40:40That gave you nine, which means 18 to get the star!
40:46Oh, man.
40:47Oh, my face.
40:48So good.
40:49Just saying sorry to Stephen about that.
40:51Oh, OK.
40:52Oh, yeah, your friends are dead.
40:54OK, you at home, you watching,
40:56it's your turn to have a crack at the caption for the Burger Fuel Brain Grill.
40:59Here it is.
41:00There's your picture, caption that.
41:01Also up on our socials, head to Facebook, Instagram.
41:04Throw up a caption that fills in the blanks there.
41:06Best answer wins $100 of Burger Fuel.
41:08And my love and respect.
41:10That is your challenge.
41:11Mine is to quickly find some funny photos from the week,
41:14because I've got a hankering for a round of caption that
41:16after the break on 7 Day Season.
41:28Welcome back to 7 Days for the last time this year.
41:32What better way to cap it off than with a round of caption that.
41:34I'll provide the picture, you provide the caption.
41:36Team 1, we're going to start with you.
41:38What is the caption for this picture, please?
41:40Is it, oh, there's been a terrible accident.
41:42Quick, ring the ambulance.
41:47To market, to market.
41:49To buy a fat pig.
41:50Home again, home again.
41:51Jackknife.
41:52Shit.
41:54Team 2, you can join in.
41:55They finally cracked Kermit's sex trafficking ring.
42:00Police and firefighters work together to find out what went wrong.
42:06That is Pig Stand near an overturned pig transport vehicle
42:09on T-Stath-Lanovee,
42:11between the towns of Oebro and Birkelse in Vensussel in Denmark.
42:16I don't know why the producers hate me so much,
42:19but put all those names in.
42:21Alright, Team 2, your turn.
42:22Here's your picture.
42:24Whoa.
42:24Jeremy Corbett finds side hustle.
42:30When my co-workers say,
42:32what did you get up to on the weekend?
42:33And I say, not much.
42:34What was I doing?
42:36Is this the next few speakers at the Green Party conference?
42:42Moments before Ram Raid.
42:48There was that conundrum for women,
42:50being like, if you went into the forest,
42:51would you rather be faced with a bear or a man?
42:54Turns out there's a third, much worse option.
43:00That is a man in a bear costume.
43:03What?
43:04I know.
43:06Taking part, that's a guy.
43:08In an emergency response drill simulating a bear intrusion in Yahita.
43:12That's in Tochiji Prefecture in Japan.
43:16That is an incredible round of captions.
43:18An incredible night.
43:19Incredible year.
43:20Let's pause just to think about this wonderful year.
43:22It's been, that's enough.
43:23Please give it up one more time for the Wellington Sea Shanty Society.
43:29And for the winners of tonight's episode and the year,
43:33it's team time!
43:33a man.
43:34All the way,
43:58it's a man.
44:02Yeah.
44:03That's all for this year. You guys are awesome.
44:04Thanks so much for watching.
44:06Please join me in thanking Paul, Jazzy, Ben,
44:09Mel, Abby and Guy.
44:10We hope we see you in seven months
44:12on seven days. Good night.
44:17Thanks, New Zealand On Air!
44:30Yeah!
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