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Gogglebox - Season 27 - Episode 01
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00:00It's on the blink Mary. Literally. It's not igniting. It's not igniting Mary.
00:05Turn it off. Turn it on again. Turn the machine off at the wall. Wait a few seconds. Turn it
00:17back
00:17on again. What a time to run for the boiler to get on the blink Mary. The middle of winter
00:23with snow
00:24forecast. What an entrance. I'm living for this. Taser in. Oh. We are going to talk like
00:35this all. I don't think so. Hey. Oh here we go. What is that? Oh shut up. This doesn't look
00:42real. I don't think it is. A framboisier. What's a framboisier? Oh I knew it. No. This looks
00:49dodgy doesn't it? It does. Why is it dodgy? This is going to go down so badly. None of us
00:53learn do we? I hate you. Must remember that bellend. This is what everyone came for. The
01:03alarm bells are ringing with me Mary. Lace and nipples are covered. Yeah. It's half the
01:07battle. In the week we said a fond farewell to snooker legend John Virgo. We enjoyed lots
01:14of great telly. They were wheeling out the big brains on Channel 4. Please welcome Susie
01:20Dent.
01:25Lovely to see you. Of course the woman from Countdowns in this. She is really smart to be fair but
01:32although at the same time doesn't she just look up dictionary like. That's right all she does
01:40just flip through the dishes. Yeah and she goes right yeah that is a real world.
01:46We can do that. I can do that yeah.
01:49Will Smith found himself in a hole on Disney Plus. The goal of the expedition is to find
01:55new species. Not just for the sake of finding new species. We're not collecting stamps here.
02:01His name's Prof. That means he's a professor. There's a joke at my work that I'm a professor
02:08because one time I filled out a form and I put Prof instead of Miss.
02:18And Olivia Atwood was showing us how to get filthy rich on ITV2. It's in the millions.
02:24Wow. I don't know why you don't do any of this. You'd make a fortune. You've always said
02:30that. You could do a chat line. I'd be good at it. I know you said. Hey Lee look I've
02:35already
02:35got. I'll show you. Ready. What? Taking your clothes off. What? Hello sir. Yes. What would
02:45you like to do? Oh you'd like me to take my dress off? Yes okay. Oh the zip's got a
02:54bit
02:55stuck. Hold on a moment. Right the dress is coming off now sir. Isn't it good? Oh I've
03:06got my finger stuck.
03:17In Leeds. Where did it all go wrong for you on Saturday night? Because you seemed alright
03:21at the brunch. I think it was when I had them two spicy margaritas back to back. One spicy
03:26margarita after the other. I just love a spicy margs. Sisters Ellie and Izzy. Well you went
03:32absolutely mad with me. I bought you a pink gin and tonic and you were going no you know
03:35I wanted spicy margarita. I wanted spicy margarita. Why have you bought me pink gin? Yeah and
03:40so I met that gin that you bought me and then trotted off to the bar and bought myself two
03:45spicy
03:45margaritas. Not one but two spicy margaritas. Yeah. Just to spite me. Yeah. And then I
03:51drunk one spicy margarita after the other. Necked them. And I actually think that after that
03:58point of necking those spicy margaritas that's when the night becomes blurry. That's when it
04:03spiralled. That's when it spiralled yeah. You rang me at two in the morning and I thought
04:07peace off. On Thursday night the latest bunch of business hopefuls were suited and booted and back
04:14in the firing line on BBC One. I tell you what I watched episode one last week shit show. I
04:20wish I was
04:21actually clever enough or had the brain to invent something that they would love but that would just
04:28never happen. You're fired. We had to do a business plan when we took the pub. Oh did you? Yeah.
04:36Yeah well I never did it.
04:38I didn't. I wouldn't know how to start a business plan. No. Where would you start? How would you start
04:41a
04:42business plan? You write it down. I know that you silly bastard. Oh. In the programme Lord Sugar had a
04:49playful
04:50way of introducing the next task. Are you sitting comfortably? We should begin. Oh it's Tony. Not Lord Sugar Tony.
05:01For your next task I want you to create a story for four to six year olds. Oh. That is
05:08such a fun task. You need to produce a book and an audio version to go with it.
05:14OK. An audio version I think would be tricky because there's no visual aid there. No. No. That's the audio
05:20bit.
05:21This is a good one. Surely there can't go far wrong with this. Writing a kid's book and recording it.
05:26Exactly. I've got a story idea I think. Next for the boys.
05:29So mine is Gino Giraffe. He's on a spaceship and his whole end goal is basically to have a poo.
05:34Oh. Great. To have a poo? Correct. No. Get him out. Nobody wants to talk about excrement.
05:40This boy called Astro, five years old, goes into space and essentially he's trying to find the perfect toilet.
05:45Why is he all based around toilets? He's trying to find the perfect toilet in space.
05:51Which mum and dad's going to enjoy reading that story to their child? One, two, three, poo.
06:00Oh my god. This is only going to go one way. Down the toilet. Yeah.
06:05Next chapter for Marcus's boys. Please, Rue, can I do a poo in your loo? Oh my days.
06:11Do you want to do for Doo-Doo Land? Dun, dun. No. Don't do that.
06:18You're taking a mix. Is this for real? Yeah. Let's go.
06:21Let's take a sip. OK. Dun, dun.
06:26Oh.
06:29Is this seriously what The Apprentice has come to?
06:33Central London. Are we excited?
06:36Yeah! No!
06:38Oh my god. What are the kids going to say? Oh, dearie me.
06:41Right. This is your audience, isn't it? If the kids like it, you've got some testimonials.
06:44He is not scared of any planet in the universe, except for one.
06:51Oh, Jane. Look at the faces. Oh, the bird.
06:55Doo-Doo Land. Dun, dun.
07:03Not a one is laughing.
07:05But what did people think of the adventure that Astro went on?
07:07So it isn't that funny?
07:09Oh!
07:12It isn't that funny!
07:14Do you know what? Kids are brutal.
07:16They are.
07:16Do you want to hear it one more time?
07:19No.
07:20No!
07:22Once was enough.
07:24I can't like a cigarette. I prefer the humour of P.G. Woodhouse.
07:27LAUGHTER
07:295pm.
07:32Arriving some of Britain's biggest booksellers.
07:35Oh, no!
07:36Oh, God.
07:37Oh, God.
07:37This'll be so cringy.
07:39Oh, can't wait.
07:39We are here to present to you Astro and the Three Aliens.
07:43No! What the fuck!
07:45No!
07:45He's trying to shit on his head.
07:48Do-Doo Land!
07:50Dun, dun!
07:52Oh!
07:53Oh, my God.
07:55That's exactly how it's gone down.
07:59They've actually narrated how their book's gone down.
08:04In Hull.
08:06Are you glad to be back?
08:07Does it look as though I'm glad to be back?
08:09Did you enjoy it?
08:10Yes, I did.
08:11Oh, good.
08:11I enjoyed my break.
08:13Where did I go?
08:14There.
08:14Best friends Jenny and Lee.
08:17Candy.
08:18No, not candy.
08:19What is it?
08:22Er...
08:22India.
08:24Ah!
08:24Yeah.
08:26Go.
08:28Oh, go away.
08:29Oh, yeah, go away.
08:30Yeah.
08:32Go away.
08:33I'm surprised you won't ask me where did I get it from.
08:36Where did you get it from?
08:37Fucking India.
08:38Where do you think?
08:39Manchester.
08:40Oh, yeah.
08:42On Sunday night, we settled in for a light-hearted game of tactics and trivia on ITV.
08:48The floor.
08:50We can't have an alcoholic drink on a Sunday.
08:53It's only one.
08:56You better drink it.
08:57Famous last word.
08:59I'm Rob Brydon and this is the floor.
09:02Hello, Rob.
09:02He looks like a koala.
09:03Let's bring in our players.
09:07Oh, they're all happy to be there.
09:09Oh, my lord.
09:12Oh, I think I quite like this already.
09:14Have they all got a box?
09:15They've all got their own box.
09:16So, you choose your subject depending on your specialism.
09:21So, like, you might choose, I don't know, Aston Villa.
09:23OK.
09:24Or pop music.
09:25Yes.
09:26And what would your specialist subject be? Food.
09:28Food.
09:28Absolutely.
09:30Hello, everybody.
09:3249 of you remain.
09:3549.
09:36And you're all still in with a chance of winning that huge jackpot of Ā£50,000.
09:43Ooh.
09:45It's not bad for a Sunday afternoon, Mike.
09:46No.
09:47Let's light up the floor.
09:50What a strapline.
09:52Here we go.
09:53Any second.
09:54Now.
09:54Oh.
09:56Slay.
09:58Slay.
09:58Slay.
09:59Clacky.
10:00What does that mean?
10:01Slay bells?
10:03It must mean S-L-A-Y.
10:05He's going to kill the contestants, his rivals.
10:09Slay them.
10:09Now, then, George, your category is US states.
10:13Ooh.
10:15I've been in a few states, but not in many US states.
10:18So, there's four.
10:19Four states.
10:21I think there's at least 60.
10:23America, New York.
10:25You're going to be duelling on a category belonging to one of your neighbours.
10:28America, New York, and then there's another two.
10:32You're lying to me.
10:33I'm not.
10:34But George wasn't playing his own category.
10:36He was about to play Aisha's category.
10:39The category is famous hair.
10:42I don't think Dad would get very far with this one.
10:44No.
10:44No.
10:45No.
10:50Claudia Winkleman.
10:51Claudia Winkleman.
10:53No.
10:53Long, black and shiny.
10:54No dandruff.
10:57Mr T.
10:58Mr T.
10:58BA Barakas.
10:59I ain't get no playing fool.
11:00Mr T.
11:02I've woke up like Mr T and all my hair shrinks.
11:04We've all woken up like Mr T.
11:05Well, not all of us, but us people of colour.
11:09Harry Winkleman.
11:10No.
11:11No.
11:12Harry Winkleman!
11:15Prince Harry.
11:16Prince Harry.
11:17Prince Harry.
11:18I mean, they've done him wonders there, because they've clearly used an old picture.
11:22Yeah.
11:23It's like orange smoke on top now.
11:26Oh, no!
11:28Barbara!
11:28Get out of my pub!
11:31His fingers!
11:31Dolly Parton.
11:32Oh, Dolly Parton!
11:35I thought it was Peggy from his fingers!
11:40Oh, I know.
11:41What's her name?
11:43Have you seen the beard?
11:45Oh, no.
11:46Jason Momoa.
11:48No, I didn't know that one.
11:49I was going to be like, Jesus?
11:51No, I was going to say the one that's the best!
11:56Posh Spice.
11:58No, that's not Posh Spice.
11:59It's Baby Spice.
12:01Mel B.
12:02Nope.
12:03Diana Ross.
12:04Mel B.
12:05Mel B!
12:07Oh!
12:08Oh!
12:08I told you, Barbara!
12:10I'm sorry, they're exaggerating, Harry.
12:11She's got her hair a little bit there.
12:12Come on.
12:13No, she doesn't look like that.
12:16Prince?
12:17Prince?
12:18That's a woman.
12:20I was going to say Prince William's woman.
12:25Prince William's woman.
12:27In this day and age, Amani, in this day and age, she's only his woman.
12:34No, I forgot her name.
12:35She's only his woman.
12:37This is what I like to call an ironing show.
12:39You know, if you're doing a bit of ironing, you bang this on, don't you?
12:42Yeah, it used to be the EastEnders omnibus.
12:44Yeah.
12:45But now you can just bang the floor on.
12:47Yeah.
12:47Get the kids' uniforms washed out.
12:49Yeah.
12:49Done.
12:50It's not going to put you off.
12:52No.
12:52But it's nice to have one in the background.
13:03Me mate's getting married on Friday and I'm really looking forward to it.
13:07But me mate's a vegetarian.
13:09So that means vegetarian food at the wedding.
13:12No.
13:13Surely he'll do some normal options.
13:15It's veggie food.
13:17The Malones.
13:18The thing is, I like vegetables and that.
13:21No issue with vegetables.
13:23But I do like a good, like, bit of chicken or something.
13:28Eh, Sean.
13:29You never know.
13:30You might go.
13:31The food might be that good.
13:32You might become a vegetarian.
13:35Ah, lad.
13:36I can't see that.
13:37Well, yeah, sure.
13:37You could be the one that turns up.
13:38Who's the guest that's turned up with a, like, with a wedding present at a packet of
13:41pot pies and sausage rolls?
13:42Yeah.
13:43They're all going to be around it, aren't they?
13:45Don't give him ideas.
13:47This week, Disney Plus was pushing a Hollywood A-lister to the limit on an epic new adventure
13:53series.
13:54Pole to pole with Will Smith-Shirl.
13:56He's going from the North Pole right down to the South Pole.
13:59He's walking, is he?
14:01Walking?
14:04Where is the North Pole?
14:05I don't think you can live there.
14:07You can.
14:08I can't.
14:08Santa lives there.
14:10Yeah, just Santa.
14:11No one else.
14:15I don't think I'd want to go pole to pole with Will Smith or toe to toe.
14:19You know, Chris Rock found that out, didn't he?
14:21Did you ever have one of those friends?
14:23Why is he that close to the camera like that?
14:25That, like, gets you in trouble all the time?
14:29I was that friend.
14:30Yeah.
14:33How does he know?
14:34I remember my very first snake bite.
14:37You never forget your first.
14:38What do you mean?
14:38How many snake bites have you had in your life?
14:40Does he be in the shot?
14:42No, darling.
14:43Over the last 25 years, I've had 27 snake bites.
14:4727?
14:4724 broken bones, 400 stitches.
14:50Oh, my God.
14:51Two stingray stings and one near fatal scorpion sting in the Amazon.
14:55Bloody hell, that's like my summer holidays.
14:58Have a doll then.
14:59I hope you've got good health insurance.
15:01Brian has us in the middle of the Amazon.
15:06And you want to go there?
15:08Yeah, not necessarily with Brian though.
15:11No.
15:11Now, Brian thinks there are creatures here that could hold the secret to saving millions of lives.
15:18That's worth looking for.
15:19Oh, wow.
15:20Okay, let them stay there.
15:21In it?
15:22Stay there with your secret.
15:23We are arriving.
15:24The main goal of our expedition is just there.
15:27What's the main?
15:28But today we are not going up, we are going down.
15:31Oh, no, I couldn't be going down.
15:33I'm terrible.
15:34When I got stuck behind that woman in the Great Pyramids that year, I'll never forget it.
15:47You know what that means in Spanish?
15:52What?
15:52The ball.
15:54We are going down.
15:56About 20-storey building.
15:5820-storey building?
16:00Isn't there a lift?
16:01See you on the bottom.
16:02You go first.
16:04Set some lights up and a little fire.
16:07Imagine if down there, we are going down.
16:09There's a cure for cancer.
16:10There's a cure for cancer.
16:10He's shooting for the stars.
16:11Fair play to him.
16:12Oh, I'd go.
16:13I'd go.
16:14There's a cure for cancer.
16:15Oh, please let there be.
16:16I'll call my help.
16:17It wasn't long before Brian and Will's poking about would unearth some creepy crawlies.
16:23Oh, hey.
16:24Oh, that's a nice one.
16:26Oh, wow.
16:27Oh, my God!
16:30What the fuck?
16:32Sorry, Vin.
16:33Oh, my God!
16:34Daniela is moving.
16:36I can't.
16:37I'm not looking.
16:37We're going to need a bigger jug.
16:39Here we go.
16:41Oh, no, that is...
16:42Oh, my God, it's the size of a hand.
16:44Showed, that is showed.
16:45I tell you what, that's got airier legs than me.
16:48Yeah, that thing is insane looking.
16:50Oh, my gosh.
16:51Could you imagine that in your bedroom?
16:54So, what do they do now?
16:55They've got the animals.
16:56So, how do they extract the venom?
16:59Because them animals aren't going to give it freely, are they?
17:02So, we're going to milk the biggest of the tarantulas.
17:05Milk and tarantulas.
17:06Come on.
17:07Hee hee hee hee hee.
17:09How long does the spider stay knocked out?
17:11I try to do as minimal as possible.
17:13So, it's usually out for about five minutes, ten minutes at most.
17:16So, you should hurry up.
17:17Spider sedation?
17:19Well, I never.
17:20It takes three of us just to wrangle the animal.
17:23Uh-oh.
17:24Oh, it's just so big.
17:28All right.
17:29So, first, Amalia is going to pop open one of the fangs.
17:33Mm-hmm.
17:34Hey!
17:35Whoa.
17:37Fucking hell!
17:38Stay to that!
17:40Jesus!
17:41Are you getting any venom?
17:43Oh, a nice big drop.
17:44Look at that.
17:44Oh, there it comes!
17:45Look at that!
17:46Let's milk it.
17:48There we go.
17:49Oh, that was a good amount.
17:50Oh, my God.
17:51Look at that.
17:52The spider's waking up rapidly.
17:53Oh.
17:54Oh, it's waking up now, Lee.
17:56Oh, shit.
17:57Rapidly.
17:57Fucking hell.
17:58Knock him out, man.
17:59Get some gas on him.
18:01Your first venom extraction.
18:03Look at all that.
18:05Will drinks it.
18:07We're going to do some shots down here.
18:09I know what.
18:11In Durham.
18:13When I go food shopping, because I go food shopping now.
18:15Only done it twice.
18:17You must be starving.
18:18In the whole six months I've lived there.
18:20Best friends, Abby and Georgia.
18:23Well, that's when I done that week of Hello Fresh, didn't I?
18:26Ah.
18:27Never do that again.
18:29Hated it.
18:30It was the worst week of my life.
18:33There was tomato puree up me walls.
18:35I hated every second.
18:39I'm being devious.
18:40I put a complaint in.
18:41Did you?
18:43Please send a chef with this next time.
18:47On Sunday night, ITV2 was showing us new ways to make a living.
18:51Right.
18:52Get your notepad out.
18:53What?
18:54Olivia Atwood.
18:55How to get filthy rich.
18:56Oh, I'd love to be filthy rich, wouldn't you?
18:58It's alright, I would.
19:00Oh.
19:03This gives you an insight into how people are making money in questionable ways.
19:08It's people that make money out of like OnlyFans and stuff.
19:12Oh.
19:13Hey, I don't want Nat watching this getting ideas.
19:15Seeing what else there is available on the internet for money.
19:20Exactly.
19:20Well, do you know what?
19:20I actually did once buy some saucy underwear and he got annoyed with me and says, what have
19:25you bought that for?
19:26Oh.
19:28Visibility on social media of the foot fetish has spiked in recent years.
19:32Oh, foot fetish!
19:34I don't want to look at my own, let alone someone else's dusty crusty feet.
19:38Does that turn you on?
19:39No, not really.
19:41Is it supposed to?
19:43With Pornhub reporting a 58% increase of interest from the under 35s.
19:49Don't include me in that.
19:50Yep.
19:51It's your generation.
19:52Look, it's your splat bang in the middle.
19:54My generation, we need to be doing better.
19:56I think everyone's got a foot fetish on a slide.
19:59No.
20:00No.
20:00One guy I found online stumbled upon the earning power of his feet while serving in the armed
20:06forces.
20:07What?
20:07You're joking.
20:08Surely you can't do that in the armed forces?
20:11Why are you so attractive about this size 11 stinky foot?
20:14Oh Lord, move that foot away.
20:17He has been the only person thus far to be kicked out of the Navy for creating adult content.
20:23Why can't he do that and serve the nation?
20:28I like men in uniform though, Lee.
20:30Oh.
20:31I do, honestly.
20:33I can believe.
20:34Is that why you used to see the lollipop man?
20:36Yeah.
20:37What he's told me, which I don't really understand, but he's doing a sock drop.
20:42A what?
20:43Sock drop.
20:44Now this isn't the first time I've heard about this.
20:47There's a post that says, Millennium Bridge, 10.30am today.
20:51I am leaving a pair of dirty socks to come and get them.
20:54This is insane.
20:56I've missed my calling.
20:58The world has gone mad.
21:00I mean, my sock drop needs a good sorting out, to be fair.
21:03If I could make a bit of money from selling my old socks.
21:06I've been my holy socks, maybe I should be selling them.
21:09We're in central London today, and as requested, so many of you want me to leave a sock on Millennium
21:15Bridge.
21:16Guys, look, you might see me on this bridge, because I was in London the other day.
21:19If I turn up, it's just coincidence.
21:21Yeah, right, London.
21:22So I've actually got this pair that I've been wearing for four days straight.
21:25Oh!
21:25Four days?
21:27Why should they be walking around on their own?
21:29He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
21:31Clearly.
21:33He's tying them on.
21:34Right, there you go.
21:36Are we supposed to get a pair?
21:38Posted.
21:39Posted.
21:40Well, he's learnt something in the navy nut.
21:42He's learnt how to tie a knot.
21:44So what do the people that have picked up the socks in the past look like?
21:48I want to see who's getting those socks.
21:49Yeah, I want to see.
21:50That's what I want to know.
21:51Name and shame.
21:52As we're leaving the bridge, Zach spots someone he recognises.
21:57No!
21:58He recognises somebody.
22:00I smile at my face.
22:02Where?
22:02Where?
22:03Running for the sock now.
22:07That's one of his fans, Mary.
22:09How long's that been?
22:09What, 30 seconds? Minute?
22:11Crazy, he's on his street, are we?
22:13Shall we meet him?
22:14Well, I mean, I would, obviously, but he's your fan, not mine.
22:17This is crazy.
22:18This is actually crazy.
22:21Where are they gone?
22:22Someone got him before him.
22:24Somebody's already got him!
22:30Oh, look, it's gutted.
22:32Where's the sock?
22:34Is he coming?
22:35Where are they?
22:36Now we're actually meeting a foot fetishist, Nuttie.
22:39I think I've gone into a sort of nightmare or something.
22:43Well, better luck next time.
22:45Nice to meet you.
22:46Thanks for talking to me.
22:48I'll let you say your goodbyes.
22:49I'll give you a hug.
22:51Wait, really?
22:51I'll be nice.
22:52Oh, are they hugging?
22:53They're hugging Daniella.
22:55Right.
22:57That'll be better than the socks.
22:58Yeah.
23:00What could I show people?
23:03What's the matter?
23:05Well, I don't want to play because I'm thinking it's going to be stinky underwear.
23:10That's what they want, Jane.
23:11What?
23:12I could do a bra, couldn't I?
23:14Yeah, way too much already.
23:17I am so in to sell socks!
23:21It's not happening, darling.
23:24And I'm going and checking every sock in the drawer upstairs before we go to bed tonight.
23:29There's going to be a sock register.
23:30And there's going to be a sock register upstairs.
23:32And if any socks have gone next week, I'll know where they are.
23:44In the Cotswolds.
23:46I almost did dry January.
23:48What do you mean you almost did?
23:50Well, I did.
23:50I did that week.
23:52The week where you did three days.
23:54I did four.
23:55Andrew and his husband, Alfie.
23:57I quite liked it for my ten days.
23:59There's probably 30 non-alcoholic beers still left in the fridge.
24:03Yeah, I drank four.
24:04OK, so it wasn't that.
24:05It was more of a damn January.
24:06It was a total damn January.
24:08OK.
24:09On Monday night, there were more police in pursuit on Channel 5.
24:13Can I just change?
24:14Oh, couldn't possibly.
24:16Thank you so much.
24:18Come on, off your cob.
24:19Good girl.
24:20Yay!
24:21What's this for me?
24:22Right, we're going to watch this so that you know what not to do on the motorway now that you're
24:26learning to drive.
24:27It's fine.
24:28Jay goes so slowly.
24:30She's fine.
24:30She's Captain Obvious.
24:32When it comes to bad driving, Dash Camp never lies.
24:36There are some shite drivers out there, aren't there?
24:39Shite.
24:39Shite.
24:40Locking up the most dangerous people on our roads are the motorway cops.
24:46I'd love to see them catch a few.
24:48I haven't been on the motorway for ages.
24:50Since my mother died, there's no reason to go anywhere.
24:52Mum would make a good motorway cop.
24:54She can make a one-point-full turbo mocker do things that the Stig could only dream of.
25:00Yeah.
25:03I like driving on the motorway, but I hate the lane hoggers, man.
25:06Move out the way!
25:08Shae doesn't like the lane hoggers, Andre.
25:10She is a lane hogger.
25:11She's not the one lane hogger.
25:13Oh, my days, Shae.
25:15That's worse than me.
25:16Dad is worse than me.
25:18No, your dad just, your dad goes all over the place.
25:20You're like, Andre, just stay in one lane, man.
25:22Shae sits there, nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngy.
25:28Oombersad police, what's the emergency?
25:30Oombersad, that's us.
25:31This is the refinery service stations.
25:33I've got a theft of fuel just literally left the site now.
25:35A theft of fuel.
25:36You know what that means, don't you, Shae?
25:38They've nicked some fuel.
25:39That's right.
25:40I've done that.
25:40Have you driven away?
25:41Yeah.
25:41Without paying?
25:42Yeah.
25:43Accidentally, mine was a thing.
25:44Of course!
25:44All right, sir.
25:45Mark, stop it!
25:46He looks stoned, as I say.
25:48Oh, he's stoned on the drugs.
25:50He's on drugs, is he love?
25:52Oh, that's even worse, isn't he?
25:53Milner off with fuel.
25:55The Bentley Continental in black.
25:58A Bentley Continental!
26:00Oh, what?
26:01Oh, no, what's that?
26:02They're a Bentley and you can't pay for your fuel?
26:04The last reliable site was at Inningham Dock.
26:06Tango November 1-1.
26:08We're blue lighting across there now.
26:09We're blue lighting.
26:10We're blue lighting.
26:13He's a hallucination.
26:14He believes he's the second coming of Jesus.
26:16He believes he's the second coming of Jesus.
26:19Oh, Jesus.
26:20He's off his trolley then.
26:22To be fair, I would imagine that the second coming of Jesus
26:24would drive round in a Bentley Continental.
26:27Yeah.
26:29He's got a couple of pals in car and all.
26:33So it's Jesus and the disciples.
26:36It is failing to stop.
26:39Well, in excess of 7-0 in a 3-0.
26:42Oh, is he 17 or 30?
26:44Yeah, that's way worse than I was.
26:46This is marvellous, this programme.
26:48Yeah.
26:51There's the car.
26:52The wagons have got him.
26:53Eight CVs have got him.
26:54Box him in.
26:55Box him in.
26:59Stop, stop.
27:00Yeah, stop, you silly bastard.
27:03Contact made with subject vehicle.
27:04Contact made.
27:06Vehicle is continuing.
27:08No, he's gone away.
27:09The lorries.
27:10Oh, my days.
27:12You stupid wagons.
27:14Fucking wagon drivers.
27:18He's going to go straight through.
27:19Oh, my God.
27:22He just went through the barrier.
27:24It's going right, right, right, right, right.
27:28Oh, my God.
27:29This is absolutely wild.
27:31This is crazy.
27:32It's like a James Bond film.
27:34Isn't it?
27:35Tango November 1-1.
27:36Other units are now on site.
27:38You've got backup.
27:39OK, good, good.
27:40Finally.
27:41Where's the helicopter man?
27:46Shit, a break.
27:47This is fast.
27:49This is so cool.
27:51For all the wrong reasons.
27:53This must be the best car chaser.
27:55They're fantastic, isn't it?
27:58They got him.
27:59They got him.
28:00That's it.
28:00They got him.
28:01Hotel Zulu 1-0.
28:03Subject detained.
28:04He's been dogged.
28:05He's been dogged?
28:08He's been dogged.
28:09He's been dogged.
28:09He's been dogged.
28:10Get him dogged.
28:11Lay it on your front.
28:12Lay it on your front.
28:13Do me now.
28:14Do not move.
28:15I don't think he can move, can he?
28:17There's not just him moving.
28:18Where's he off to?
28:20Right, mate.
28:20You're under arrest on suspicion of failing to stop for police,
28:23dangerous driving, and abduct slash kidnap.
28:27Suspicion of failing to stop for the police.
28:28There's no suspicion in that.
28:30Yeah, man.
28:30He's gone for 40 miles at 100 miles an hour.
28:33Charge him for that one now.
28:35You understand?
28:36I was scared.
28:37Sorry?
28:39I was scared.
28:39I do nothing to no one.
28:40Oh, look at that.
28:41Fucking hell.
28:43He's wrecked that car.
28:44I mean, your mama's come back with some dents and scratches,
28:47but never like that.
28:54In Leeds.
28:55Izzy, is that my jaw, or have I got jowls?
28:58Jowls, definitely.
29:00Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
29:02I'm getting jowls.
29:03Yeah.
29:04Seriously.
29:05Like, you being mean, are you being honest?
29:09Let me feel.
29:12It's jowls.
29:14Fuck's sake.
29:18Gobble, gobble.
29:20On Friday, an exciting expose was making the headlines on the BBC.
29:26Since we put the news on, any chance we could watch it?
29:28Because it would be nice.
29:29I know I do love looking at doggies.
29:31Well, thanks for the kiss.
29:32HE LAUGHS
29:40Do you have to keep fucking slapping?
29:43Well, get me some bread, then.
29:45Complaints about rogue locksmiths have risen by two-thirds
29:48over the last four years.
29:51Good heavens.
29:52Good grief.
29:52I had no idea that was a thing.
29:54No one needed to die.
29:55Oh, dear.
29:56What are they doing?
29:57Using a tactic known as bait and switch,
29:59where companies offer an affordable call-out fee
30:02but hike up the price when they get there.
30:05Oh, that's when you're the way...
30:06Oh.
30:08Yeah.
30:08Oh, that's a mortis.
30:10Five-lever.
30:11Yeah, five-lever.
30:13Oh.
30:13Basically, every plumber and locksmith
30:15and builder and roofer in London is a crook.
30:19No.
30:20No, not all crooks.
30:21Emergency call-out fee, Ā£45.
30:24Finn and Maria were locked inside
30:26when they called 24-7 Locksmiths UK.
30:29How do you lock inside?
30:30You got locked between two doors one time.
30:32I did, I got locked in the port.
30:34You were there all day until I got back from work.
30:36They say they were quoted Ā£45 over the phone.
30:39Well, that's where they get you.
30:41Cheap call-out fee.
30:42Expensive repair bills.
30:44Yes.
30:44Just make in store fault.
30:46We'll have to replace the door here, look.
30:48Yeah, yeah.
30:48Really, we're going to have to knock down this house,
30:50really, to get you in.
30:51I stopped my head out the window and said,
30:52do not break the lock.
30:53We can, you know, we can definitely fix this without doing that.
30:56We're not going to have to replace it.
30:57You don't need to do that.
30:58And he said, no, I need to do it.
30:59Snap.
31:00Lock was broken.
31:00He was in.
31:01I love how she's laughing at the situation.
31:03Yeah, because she's thinking,
31:03that's definitely not how it panned out.
31:05Yeah, that's not how it panned out at all.
31:07You said to me, it doesn't need doing.
31:09He said it needs doing.
31:10And I've said, let's do it.
31:13Ā£1,250 altogether.
31:15What?
31:17How much?
31:18How'd you get to that much?
31:19The call-out fee was 45.
31:22Thieving robbing bastards.
31:24We wanted to investigate.
31:26Yeah.
31:27Come on, let's set him up.
31:28So we secured a property and rigged it with secret cameras.
31:31Oh, I love this.
31:33A sting.
31:34Is this the news?
31:35Yes.
31:36It's quite a long news, isn't it?
31:38Yeah.
31:38But first, we wanted to prove that this lock didn't need to be drilled.
31:43We should be able to bypass this lock in seconds.
31:46No damage.
31:47By bypass, he means break in.
31:49Yeah.
31:49And they're not going to show us how to do that,
31:51because that would be a bad idea.
31:55Is that how quick it is?
31:57Then we made the call.
31:58We charge Ā£40 for a simple door opening.
32:01Well, and you'd snap their hand off at that, wouldn't you?
32:03Ā£40?
32:04Sounds quite reasonable.
32:05Yeah.
32:05So to open it, I'm going to have to drill the lock.
32:08Oh.
32:09Here we go.
32:09You barely even examined it, mate.
32:11The price of drilling is Ā£125 plus VAT.
32:15No, that's naughty.
32:17But at this point, when he's there going,
32:19price of this, Ā£125, I'd say,
32:21put your tool back in your van tiger and fuck off.
32:25Butchery, it's fine, I missed.
32:27Come on.
32:29So there you go.
32:29That's the lock ruined now.
32:31Ā£314 plus VAT.
32:33Ā£376.
32:34Ā£376.
32:35Oh, my God.
32:37Ā£376.
32:37Where's Dominic Littlewood when you need him?
32:40You know, he needs to be out there, on the beat.
32:42Yeah.
32:42Do we go now?
32:43Yeah.
32:44Yeah.
32:45Get out with the camera.
32:46Get out!
32:47I love wrong-uns being caught.
32:49Hello.
32:50We're the BBC.
32:52Why are you charging so much for this job?
32:54Why is it costing so much?
32:55Because I'm a con man.
32:57I know.
32:58Next question.
33:00We email the company for further comment.
33:02They've yet to respond,
33:03and their website has been taken down.
33:05Oh, there's a surprise.
33:07Yeah, but it's probably been set up under another name.
33:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:09You know, at least Dominic Littlewood would get stuck in.
33:12Oh, he'd have booted.
33:13He'd have fucking kicked the wingman off or something.
33:15At least.
33:25In Blackpool...
33:26Hey, Soph.
33:27Treating myself to a new suit.
33:29Oh, very nice.
33:30Oh, yeah.
33:30It was awkward, actually,
33:33because we were just chatting to the lads that were there,
33:36you know, whose shop it is, Chris's shop.
33:38Pete and his little sister Sophie.
33:41Because we were chatting and that,
33:42I didn't want to get changed in the dressing room
33:44because I thought it were rude.
33:45So I just got changed in the shop.
33:49And next thing, this dude's walked in,
33:51and all I've got on is my undies and a smile.
33:54I don't think that's right.
33:56Well, nobody seemed to mind.
33:57That was the thing.
33:58But it just felt a bit awkward.
34:00Are you sure those men even work there?
34:03Well, I would hope so.
34:06You know, isn't it a curtain as well?
34:09So even if you were chatting,
34:10you could just chat through the curtain.
34:12I know, but I like to make eye contact
34:13when I'm speaking to people.
34:15I bet there were people at work in the shop
34:17when you dropped your trousers,
34:19they were thinking...
34:20What a lad.
34:21What is happening?
34:23What?
34:24This week, it was the return
34:26of the raciest Regency drama on Netflix.
34:29Oh, I'm buzzing Bridgerton's back on.
34:32I've been listening to Mucky Books lately.
34:34Have you, you dirty bitch?
34:39See if we can get some naughty bits.
34:41Is that what you're watching it for?
34:43No, it's educational.
34:47Is everything well, Mum?
34:48Oh, everything is perfect.
34:50It shouldn't be perfect.
34:52It would be perfect if...
34:53Where is Benedict?
34:54Who's Benedict?
34:55That's her other son.
34:57If I were you guessing where he is,
34:58probably shagging.
34:59Flyer.
35:00Yeah.
35:03Oh.
35:04That butler knows exactly where Benedict is.
35:07Exactly.
35:08Yeah.
35:11Please, fetch my carriage.
35:12Uh-oh.
35:14Is she going to go and find him?
35:18That is a mother with purpose.
35:20Oh, she's on a mission there, isn't she?
35:22I've seen that walk before.
35:24From your mother?
35:25Yeah.
35:26Move!
35:28Here we go.
35:29What's she going to find?
35:32Oh, my gosh!
35:34What's she walked in on?
35:35I don't know.
35:36It's a shittle!
35:41Benedict Bridgerton!
35:41Oh, my word.
35:43Woo!
35:43Ho-ho!
35:45It was best she just stayed out of the room.
35:47Yeah, what was she expecting?
35:48Draw back the curtains.
35:49It is time for my son to wake up.
35:50No, no, no, please, please do not.
35:52Oh.
35:54Oh, there's another one.
35:57He's had an orgy in there, too.
35:59Fancy being caught by your mother like that.
36:01There's always a black sheep in the family, isn't there?
36:10Who's that, Jane?
36:11I don't know.
36:11I've not seen this one before.
36:13Who is she?
36:13What are you asking me for?
36:14Like, I don't know.
36:16I can do this.
36:17I can do this.
36:18She looks as if she's nervous to go in there.
36:20I don't think she's used to this sort of thing.
36:22She's not giving swanky Bridgerton do, is she?
36:24There is a large group arriving.
36:26Just conceal yourself behind her.
36:29Just be out by midnight.
36:31Oh, Cinderella!
36:32Fuck it, Cinderella!
36:34Oh, God!
36:35Out by midnight!
36:36Was she going to leave her gloss slip off?
36:39Good evening, ladies.
36:40Good evening, ladies.
36:42Here he is.
36:43Benedict.
36:44The man of the hour, old Benedict.
36:45Oh, he's such a ladies' man.
36:47Mr Bridgerton, Mr Bridgerton, over here.
36:53Hello.
36:54Oh, look who he's spotted.
36:56The unknown.
36:57That glance across a crowded room, Michelle.
36:59I know.
37:01Pardon me, young lady.
37:02Could I trouble you for the next dance?
37:04Oh, no.
37:05Missed a chance, Benedict.
37:07Oh.
37:08That is unlucky.
37:10Oh, he's in like Flynn.
37:12Never seen him move so quick in my life.
37:14Forgive me for interrupting.
37:15I have just found this young lady's dance card.
37:17But, unfortunately, my name is next.
37:20No!
37:20Oh, no!
37:23Mango.
37:24Smooth movie.
37:25Oh, I'm not looking for a husband.
37:28You are not.
37:29Oh, no, she's talking his language.
37:32That's going to change his world.
37:33Yeah.
37:34He's like, she's the woman for me.
37:37Uh, excuse me, I'm meant to be somewhere.
37:40Where's she going?
37:41Is it midnight already?
37:42I can't, she just got there.
37:44Have you lost your chakra?
37:44No.
37:45Is it that we've met?
37:46No, I cannot dance.
37:47Oh, she can't dance.
37:49Because she's not a lady.
37:50Oh, she's common as muck, Jenny.
37:52She's common as muck.
37:53A lady who cannot dance?
37:58Huh.
37:59He's mind blown.
38:00Yeah.
38:00He's like, tick.
38:02She's un-ladylike.
38:04Tick.
38:04She doesn't want to have a marriage.
38:06Tick.
38:07Later in the garden, we saw Benedict showing the mystery woman a few moves.
38:13Two, three, one, two.
38:16How gorgeous.
38:17It's been really sweet and romantic with her.
38:24What's he doing?
38:27He was taking a glove off.
38:29What the fuck?
38:34What's happening?
38:35Why is he smelling her?
38:39He's infatuated.
38:40My guy said, I want to get a good smell of this.
38:47Oh, she's got to go.
38:48Is it 12 o'clock yet?
38:50Oh, the charms.
38:53Oh, here we go.
38:55Oh, that's very forward, isn't it, Nottie?
39:01Wait.
39:03She said, you ain't got to forget me, boy.
39:05Who is this mystery woman?
39:07I'm dying to know.
39:13Oh, come on, take it off.
39:14Tell us who you are.
39:15We're going to get to see her face now.
39:21She's one of the maids.
39:22She's a frickin' maid.
39:27Oh, Jane.
39:30This is forbidden love.
39:31That were quite timber, Bridgerton.
39:33That's just getting us warmed up, that.
39:36It's not even started yet.
39:37Just getting the juices flowing, yeah?
39:41In home.
39:42Hey, do you know, the listening, you know, on these phones.
39:46I know they do.
39:47Do you know something yesterday?
39:48I was talking about potato waffles.
39:51Oh, yeah.
39:52Then I went on, and potato waffles started coming on me phone.
39:55You're joking.
39:56No, I swear.
39:58Best friends Jenny and Lee.
39:59I did that with the barbecue.
40:02What?
40:02Because we were talking about getting a barbecue, and then the next minute, I was sat, and it
40:07come up on me phone.
40:08So they hear what you're saying.
40:12The next time I was sat there, I said, I want a six-foot man.
40:15Unk, like that.
40:17Send me some of them.
40:19And it's still not arrived.
40:21No, I'm still waiting for it.
40:25I need to talk to him more often, don't I?
40:28Six-foot-two, six-foot-two.
40:30Yeah, six-foot-two, dark hair.
40:32Don't want blonde, dark hair.
40:35See what pops up.
40:37It'll be raised, stood on his chair.
40:42On Monday night, Alan Carr was on the hunt for closet clever clogs on Channel 4.
40:48I've done like you, Jess.
40:49Yeah.
40:50I did pretty well.
40:51I got like 120 or something.
40:53I got 121, I think.
40:54You're a liar.
40:56No, I'm not a liar.
40:57You just picked one higher than me.
40:58No, I didn't do it.
41:00I swear, I'm sure it was 121.
41:04Across the UK, there are estimated to be a million undiscovered geniuses.
41:10Oh, I wonder if I'm one of them.
41:12You could be a genius and not realise.
41:15Yeah.
41:16That's probably me.
41:18That's me all over.
41:21When I was a kid, I used to know everybody's reg plate on the state where I lived.
41:25Oh, Michelle knows that.
41:26She's a copper.
41:27Each week, 12 people from different corners of the UK...
41:32Complete the number sequence.
41:35...have been invited to Genius HQ.
41:38Okay.
41:39Oh.
41:39Genius HQ.
41:40I'd love to go to Genius HQ.
41:42Yeah, we're going to send you in, darling.
41:44We're going to sign you up for this.
41:45Get me in there.
41:46Here, they'll compete in a series of mind-stretching games...
41:50Where do we begin?
41:51...designed with Mensa.
41:53Oh, God.
41:54I've heard of Mensa.
41:55The Society for the World's Smartest People.
41:58I was told I wouldn't go far in life.
42:00That's nasty.
42:02Who are these horrible people that taught you, please?
42:05Honestly.
42:05Horrible bastards.
42:06Fuck is all.
42:07This is what I was told.
42:09And you know what?
42:10Actually, I wish I could say to them now,
42:12hello, I work in the cheese factory.
42:18I'm proper smart, mate.
42:19Oh, jeez.
42:21I would be intrigued to know what my IQ was, but would I?
42:26Because if it's really low...
42:28I don't want to know.
42:29Better off not knowing.
42:30Better off not knowing.
42:31Better off burying your head in the sand.
42:3327-year-old Jess is the first player to face the final round.
42:37Come on, Jess.
42:38Oh, Jess, she's a real smart cookie.
42:41Yeah.
42:41Let's see how she does with this one.
42:43OK.
42:43Right.
42:46Memorise the details of this stack of Turkish Delight.
42:49Oh, I love Turkish Delight.
42:51Turkish dish, yeah, it's more like...
42:52I want to eat that.
42:53When you are ready, you must move on to the next room.
42:55Your first question can be found on the jar.
43:00I think I'll be looking at the colours, you know,
43:03how they run, the sequence.
43:04I just want to eat the Turkish Delight.
43:06It's like the jar that displays the number of cubes
43:08in the Turkish Delight Tower.
43:10How would you know that?
43:11How would you count them all then?
43:12This is about spatial reasoning.
43:14Right, no, lost me.
43:15How the bloody hell would you know that?
43:17I'll tell you what, it's quite hard, this self.
43:19It is.
43:20I got a general vibe that it was definitely over 100.
43:25What?
43:25Yeah.
43:25I'm going to go 162.
43:28Yeah, but there's no reasoning behind it.
43:30Well, I've got so far and I'm thinking, yeah,
43:34there's a lot of Turkish Delight there.
43:36I didn't think that would make it the whole thing.
43:39I should go this way.
43:42Correct.
43:43No way.
43:44Bloody hell.
43:45Damn, she's quick.
43:47Well, I won far out.
43:49162.
43:50So that's not bad.
43:52Containers traces of jam elderflower.
43:54Right, let's try the next one.
43:56Jelly.
43:57Ooh, jelly.
43:58Very good.
43:59We're looking for a verbal secret.
44:01Jelly what?
44:02Jelly bean?
44:03Jelly.
44:03Jelly, jelly, war, jelly, jelly, war, jelly, war, jelly.
44:11Jelly, jelly, whims!
44:13The seven.
44:15What's that?
44:15Seven becomes an L.
44:18Oh, that's L.
44:19It's like an L.
44:24Oh, L, oh, lemon.
44:26Lemon.
44:27Lemon plop.
44:29It is lemon plop.
44:32Is it?
44:32Lemon drop, isn't it?
44:34Drop.
44:35Lemon drop.
44:36Lemon drop.
44:37I like that.
44:38Huh?
44:39Lemon drop.
44:40Not lemon plop.
44:41It's lemon drop.
44:43What am I?
44:44What am I?
44:45Squirrel.
44:46Squirrel minus question.
44:49OK.
44:50Have you got it?
44:51No.
44:52Is it word, word, and then you have to add the O, I, C to make a new word?
44:57That is the trickiest question.
44:59I'm looking sweet.
45:00How can there be an answer out of this?
45:02Is it licorice?
45:07It's not licorice.
45:08There's no, there's no H.
45:11There's no H in licorice, you dickhead.
45:13Yeah, licorice.
45:17licorice.
45:17Yes.
45:19Wow.
45:20Licorice?
45:21Well, what's licorice got to do with Squirrel?
45:24Well done.
45:25That was amazing for that whole reasoning.
45:27Well done, Jess.
45:28She was amazing.
45:30I can't believe it.
45:31I actually can't believe I've done it.
45:33That's, I'm impressed there.
45:35I'll give you that.
45:36I'm smart.
45:38I'm not.
45:39Listen, remember the paddling pool?
45:44Do you remember the paddling pool?
45:46Yeah.
45:47And it said, fill it with water.
45:50Yeah?
45:51Well.
45:52You filled the bit you brought with air, with water.
45:58And then we couldn't get it up because the other inflatable bit was full of water.
46:02Do you remember that, Sean?
46:04Yeah.
46:05And you're telling us you're a fucking secret genius.
46:21Well, if you want to see more of Secret Genius, and maybe find out if you are one too,
46:26Alan and Susie will be here Sunday at 9.
46:28Well, next up tonight, the last leg is looking sharp, although there is probably more to
46:33do with guests Grayson Perry and Judy Love than Adam, Alex and Josh, to be fair.
46:38Stay with us.
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